


Can you find me in the dark?

by GiGi87



Series: Can You Find Me In The Dark? [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Deruned Alec Lightwood, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Alec, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Protective Magnus Bane, Slow Burn, Torture, Violence, only two or three times though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 84,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11323416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiGi87/pseuds/GiGi87
Summary: The Inquisitor has Alec deruned, and lets Aldertree have some 'fun' first. What happens during and after? Can Magnus and the others help Alec heal, both mentally and physically?This starts from when Alec walks away from Jace after arguing about the GPS chips with the Inquisitor.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I have the first two chapters done. Figured I'd post and see what people think. I'm working on chapter 3, but will wait for feedback before continuing.
> 
> Comments are love!
> 
>  
> 
> This starts from when Alec walks away from Jace after arguing about the GPS chips with the Inquisitor.

“Alec look at this… too many shadowhunters are dying.”

Alec paused and tried to think of a way to reason with Jace. At a loss, he stalked away, unfortunately right into where the inquisitor is waiting.

“Mr. Lightwood, come to my office. We need to talk.” The Inquisitor turned on her heel, expecting her command to be obeyed. Alec bit his tongue and followed. 

Once in her office, the Inquisitor motioned for Alec to sit, but he shook his head and remained standing, crossing his arms.

“Alexander-“

“It’s Alec.”

The Inquisitor huffed, “Alexander. Your behavior of late has been unaddressed for far too long. First, you are gay, but not just that, you are in a relationship with a Downworlder! A warlock no less.” Her glare deepens, “And now you are refusing to follow the Clave’s orders. Not just your superiors but the Clave. This is unacceptable.”

“What you’re doing is wrong. I won’t do it. As for my personal life, I don’t see how that is any of your business.” Alec stood firm.

“Everything is the Clave’s business, and your relationship needs to end. We can’t be seen as under the influence of downworlders, especially now with shadowhunters dying. We need to be seen as a united front. I won’t tolerate anyone stepping out of line.”

“Absolutely not. Magnus and I are together. I’m not going to end a relationship just because you don’t approve.”

The Inquisitor cocked her head, raising an eyebrow, “Oh really? … If you continue your relationship and refuse to carry out the Clave’s orders for the chipping of Downworlders, I’ll hold you for insubordination. It could escalate to treason if you take the side of the downworlders over your own kind.”

Alec bristled at the threat, “There is no evidence that I’m going against shadowhunters. However, I won’t participate in this chipping order. It’s wrong. As for my relationship, the Clave has no right to say what I can and can’t do.”

“Oh, but they do Alexander.” She walked over and opened the door. Nodding at the guards, “Take him to the cells.”

Alec’s hands fisted, “What?”

“I told you that your behavior and actions of late are unacceptable. Maybe some time in a cell would be beneficial.”

The guards took Alec’s arms. Alec yanked his arms away from their hold, “Fine. I’ll walk myself.” He stalked off, the guards close on his tail.

////////

Jace and Izzy looked everywhere for Alec, but weren’t able to find him. Someone mentioned they saw him heading with the Inquisitor to her office. So they decided to check with the Inquisitor. Izzy knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

Izzy and Jace pushed open the door and went in to stand in front of the Inquisitor. She looked up and quirked her brow.

“We heard you met with Alec, do you know where he is?” Izzy inquired.

The Inquisitor smirked, “Yes I do. He’s contemplating his actions and his refusal to follow orders.”

Jace looked at Izzy, then back at the Inquisitor, “What do you mean?”

The Inquisitor sighed, “He’s in a cell overnight to consider his actions and to change his mind.”

“You can’t do that! He’s done nothing wrong” Izzy cried.

Jace took a step forward, half in front of Izzy, “She’s right he hasn’t done anything. He’ll come around to the GPS chips. I can talk to him.”

The Inquisitor shook her head, “He’s been allowed to roam too freely of late, with no consequences. I’ve given him a choice and now it’s up to him.”

“What choice?” Izzy spat.

“Careful Izzy.” Jace hissed below his breath.

“He can end his so called relationship with that male downworlder and follow orders, or he’ll be de-runed.”

“What?!? He’s done nothing to warrant de-runing!” Izzy cried.

“That’s my decision. I suggest you calm down. If anyone causes trouble it’ll be taken out on Alec.” The Inquisitor threatened.

“There’s no need for de-runing Inquisitor. That is quite extreme for him refusing to chip downworlders. His personal life has no effect on his performance.” Jace tried to remain calm on the outside, knowing if he lost it, the Inquisitor wouldn’t listen to anything they said.

“His actions and personal life are subject to the Clave’s rules, as are all Nephilim's. As the Inquisitor it my job to set an example so others do not follow the same path.”

“But-“ Izzy started, then was interrupted by Jace’s hand on her arm.

Jace leaned forward to whisper, “Don’t make it worse for Alec. We’ll figure this out."

“Can we see him?” Izzy pleaded.

The Inquisitor leaned back in her chair. After a few moments she stood up and rounded the desk to stand in front of Izzy and Jace. “Maybe you can help him see reason. Jace, you can see him… In the morning. Until then you are not allowed to leave the institute.”

////////

It had been a few hours since the guards locked him in this cell with the help of the Silent Brother. They had taken his stele and left in the dim light from sparse witch lights lining the hall. From what he could see when they walked him down to his cell, there had been no others imprisoned. 

The silence was oppressing, his ears straining to hear something. Pacing back and forth in his cell, his thoughts were loud as they churned. What was Magnus doing? Izzy? Jace? Had anyone found out? Even if they had, they would have their hands tied, with no options. Alec was tired of hiding himself from the outside world. He would not end things with Magnus as he was such a source of happiness. It would be like cutting out a piece of his soul. 

He ceased pacing, and leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but surely it was nighttime by now. His thoughts again strayed to those he cared about, lingering on Magnus. Hoping Magnus didn’t do anything to get himself in trouble trying to get Alec out. This made Alec huff a breath, imaging Magnus whirling up a storm to get to him. Closing his eyes, he let that image of his warlock, linger against his eyelids.

////////

Alec had no way to determine the time since there was so light from outside. He had slept fitfully all night, random aches in his muscles from sleeping in his awkward position. After an indeterminable time he heard faint voices approaching. He stood up and took a few steps towards the front bars of his cell. He tried to look down the hall, but couldn’t see more than a few feet to each side.

The voices grew louder still.

“Where is he?” 

“Jace?” Alec called.

“Alec? Where are you?”

Alec reached an arm through the cell’s bars. “Here.”

A few moments later and Jace grabbed his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Fine, are you okay? How’s Izzy?”

“The Inquisitor wouldn’t let her come. Izzy’s a mess… I can’t believe the Inquisitor put you down here.”

“I can’t do what she’s asking Jace.” Alec pulled his arm back in, taking hold of the bars.

“I know Alec. It’s wrong. She’ll come to her senses. Izzy and I will convince her.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible.”

“Alec she said she’ll have you de-runed if you don’t do as she says.”

Alec let out a pained sigh and looked down, “I know… but I’m not a robot Jace. This isn’t right. And Magnus… Magnus and I… “

Jace rested a hand of Alec’s, “I know brother. You’ve never been happier.”

Alec looked back up, into his parabatai’s face, “If she goes through with this-“

“That’s not going to happen!” Jace refused to even entertain the idea.

“Jace… just hear me out.”

After a few tense moments, Jace let out a breath and nodded.

“If she goes through with this, I need to know you and Izzy won’t do something to cause her to do something to you. Please.” Alec pleaded.

“We’re going to figure something out Alec.”

“Has anyone told Magnus?”

“Izzy was on her way there when I left. The Inquisitor wasn’t letting us leave the Institute until this morning.”

“Please make sure he doesn’t do something reckless.”

Jace huffed a laugh, “I don’t know that I’m a match for your warlock.”

“Please Jace.”

Jade’s face fell back into a frown, “Of course Alec.” He turned his head to the side.

“The Silent brother says my time is up. I’ll come back as soon as I can.” Jace squeezed Alec’s hand underneath his.

“Take care of Izzy and Magnus, okay?”

“I will, and we’ll get you out of here.”

////////////

“Magnus!” Izzy yelled, frantically pounding on the door.

The door pulled open, Magnus appearing, concern on his face, “Isabelle-“

“Magnus, they took Alec. The Inquisitor is going to de-rune him if he doesn’t do what she wants!” Izzy ranted, pushing into the foyer. “Jace and I tried to reason with her, but she won’t listen. She’s going to let Jace see Alec in the morning. But only if he tries to get Alec to do what she wants!”

Magnus shut the door, “What does she want him to do?”

“She wants him to stop his relationship with you, stop being gay, and to follow orders. He is refusing to chip downworlders.”

“Chip downworlders?”

“The Inquisitor wants downworlders to have GPS chips so they can be tracked.”

“What?!?” Anger built in Magnus’ chest, “And what does my relationship with Alec have anything to do with her?”

Izzy gesticulated wildly with her hands, “The Clave wants shadowhunters to reproduce and Alec can’t do that if he’s with you. It was okay for awhile because he wasn’t flaunting it but the Inquisitor found out and thinks he’s taking the side of downworlders over shadowhunters, so she wants to force him into obedience. I don’t know what to do!”

“We’ll figure this out. Surely there’ll be a trial of some sort.”

“No it’s an ultimatum.”

“Can you petition The Clave for time, or a trial, something?”

“Jace already looked into that. The Inquisitor is so high up that The Clave will side with her.”

Magnus grabbed his blazer off the coat rack, “Then I must talk to her, try to make her see reason.”

Izzy reached out and took hold of his wrist, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. She threatened to have Alec pay for any trouble we cause. And she’s on a rampage about downworlders. She might have someone grab you to chip you.”

“I can’t just leave him.”

“I don’t know what else we could do.”

“I’m going anyway, I can portal out if need be.”

“Okay.”

Magnus portaled them to the front steps of the institute. He held open the door for Izzy and followed her through. He got quite a number of odd looks, but he trailed Izzy until they arrived at the Inquisitor’s office door.

“I’ll do this alone, or she’ll know you came to get me.”

Izzy straightened to her full height, glaring at him, “I’m staying with you.” She rapped on the door.

Once they heard the Inquisitor inviting them in, Magnus opened the door and once again let Izzy pass through first. After all, he was a gentleman.

The Inquisitor’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Izzy, but then she frowned and rose to her feet at the sight of Magnus. Cutting her eyes to Izzy, “I told you that if you caused any disruption I’ll have them take it out of Alec’s hide.”

Izzy glared right back, “What you’re doing is wrong!”

The Inquisitors eyes sparkled with mischief for a moment before returning to Magnus, “Warlock. You are not welcome here at the moment, unless you came to get chipped.”

Magus folded his arms in front of his chest, “Inquisitor, I did not come to get chipped. I refuse on behalf of all warlocks. This is uncalled for. As for Alec, using him as your scapegoat is unacceptable. I’m going to bring this matter to The Clave.”

The Inquisitor smirked, “I’ve already talked to The Clave and they agree with me. Alec has strayed too far from the path. He must be brought back or let go. As for chipping, it’ll happen whether you want it or not. It’s for the good of all shadowhunters.”

The Inquisitor rounded the desk and leaned her hip against it, “Now, think before you resume arguing with me. I have said it before and I will say it again. Causing problems will make it worse for Alec. I’ll have them mark every word into his skin.”

Magnus bit his tongue. He wanted to strike down the woman in front of him for threatening Alec, but knew if any harm came to her they would do worse to Alec. Unable to fully keep the lid on his magic, it swirled around his fists. He moved his hands behind his back.

“I’m going to find a way to stop this.” Magnus said. Then offered his arm to Izzy and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aldertree and De-runing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics are to I Have Questions by Camila Cabello. I heard the song and listened to it on repeat while writing this.

 

 

 

_Why did you leave me here to burn?  
I'm way too young to be this hurt_

 

Alec looked up at the sound of clicking heels. The witch lights flared brighter as the Inquisitor came into sight. He stood up and crossed his arms.

 

“So, have you come to your senses Alexander?” The Inquisitor sneered.

 

Alec bit his tongue to keep the tirade from his lips. After a deep breath he said, “I will not chip downworlders. It’s not ethical.”

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that. As for your relationship?”

 

“It has no effect on my performance as a shadowhunter, so no I will not let you control who I see.”

 

“Then you will de-runed. I’ve invited someone… special … to do the honors. You’re  _friends_  have caused some trouble, so he gets to have some  _fun_  with you first.” The Inquisitor turned to the side, “Aldertree? He’s all yours.”

 

_Aldertree?_ Alec’s eyes widened before he could resume his stoic stance. He would not give them the satisfaction of seeing him cower.

 

Aldertree stepped into view, a sadistic grin on his face. “Oh Alec, I can’t wait for how much fun we’re going to have. I’ve been hoping for an opportunity like this.”

 

The Inquisitor nodded at Aldertree, then looked at Alec, “Goodbye Alexander.” Then she turned on heel and left.

 

Aldertree stepped closer to the cell, some more shadowhunters coming into view, “Let’s get you somewhere more… comfortable. Guards.” Aldertree unlocked the cell, opening the door.

 

The shadowhunter guards approached Alec who took a defensive stance.  _I’m not going down easily,_  Alec thought and attacked the nearest guard. He took down four guards before they were able to subdue him and pin him to the ground, handcuffing his wrists behind his back. The guards grabbed his arms and yanked him up.

 

“Now Alexander, this would have gone so much easier if you hadn’t fought back.” Aldertree hissed. “Take him to the interrogation room.”

 

_Interrogation room? That’s not where they did de-runing_. Alec felt a little panic whisper through him, and he promptly pushed it back down. He stumbled along, being pulled by the guards. After a few stairs and hallways they led him into a room with a solitary chair with straps and an odd headrest. Even though he was trying to remain calm, his body struggled again, trying to dig in his heels. He knew once he was in that chair Aldertree would start his  _fun_.

 

“Get his boots, shirt and jeans off, I’ll need some space to play.” Aldertree ordered from behind Alec. The guards wrestled him out of his boots, careful to prevent him from kicking out. A guard pulled out a knife and efficiently sliced down the front of Alec’s shirt, then the sleeves. He pulled the shirt away and tossed it to the side, then did the same to his jeans.

 

The guards manhandled him to stand in front of the chair, and strapped down his ankles. Two guards took each arm while another undid the handcuffs. Alec strained against their hold, but couldn’t fight off so many. They roughly sat him down, and held his arms against the armrests and strapped his wrists down tightly. One of the guards pushed his head back and hooked something around his chin, covering his mouth and then strapped it to the other side of the head rest. 

 

Aldertree dismissed the guards and walked behind Alec, who took deep breaths, fear surging in his chest.

 

Aldertree came around Alec’s side, rolling a silver tray into view. Different knives lined part of the tray, and the other had basins with some liquid that was reddish black. Alec tried to calm his racing heart.

 

Aldertree leaned in, “Oh Alexander, how I’ve been hoping for this day. I can assure you I’ve thought up quite a few  _activities_.” He laughed, straightening. “And this,” He pointed to the reddish black liquid, “Is demon blood.”

 

Alec’s eyes widened a fraction without his permission. Aldertree smirked, “Not only is it poisonous for shadowhunters, it’ll increase pain and hinder healing. Quite a wonderful set of side effects.”

 

Aldertree approached the tray, selected a knife and dipped it in the demon blood. Turning to Alec he asked, “Now where shall we start?"

  
_I feel doomed in hotel rooms_  
 _Staring straight up at the wall_  
 _Counting wounds and I am trying to numb them all_

 

Jace, Izzy, Clary and Magnus were waiting outside the Inquisitor’s office when they saw her turn the corner towards them. Jace straightened and took a step forward, “What happened? Can we see Alec?”

 

The Inquisitor opened the door to her office, but paused, turning towards them, “He did not cooperate. So he’s paying the price.”

 

“No!” Izzy yelled and took a step forward, but was caught around the waist by Clary.

 

Magnus took a step forward, magic swirling around his hands, “This isn’t right. I demand to see Alec.”

 

The Inquisitor sneered, “Warlock, if you cause problems I’ll call downstairs for them to take extra time.”

 

Her words stole the breath from Magnus’ chest, his magic flaring bright orange and red. Jace’s hand on his shoulder grounded him, and he released his magic.

 

“It would be best if you move on now. He will no longer be a shadowhunter and will not be welcome here. Jace… as punishment for this behavior we’ll leave the parabatai rune until last.” She turned to the guards waiting patiently at her side, “Escort them somewhere and keep them there until I send someone to relieve you.”

 

The guards nodded, and the Inquisitor closed her office door. The guards looked up, one looking at them with pity, “Where would you like to go?”

 

Jace turned on his heel and headed to the residential area. He lead the group to Alec’s room and let himself inside, Izzy, Clary and Magnus following. The guard paused with his hand on the knob, “I’m sorry.” With that he shut the door, the click of the catch loud in the silence.

 

Jace settled on the ground, the bed at his back. Clary sat next to him and hugged him, “We tried Jace, we tried.”

 

Jace closed his glassy eyes. Izzy sat down on his other side, “We’ll help him after, won’t we Magnus?”

 

Magnus, who had taken a seat next to Izzy, started, “Of course. I’ll heal what I can and … and he’ll stay with me.”

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes until is was cut by Jace’s gasp and a grunt. 

 

“Jace? Are you alright?” Clary asked.

 

Jace opened his eyes, “I think they’re starting.”

_Do you care, do you care?  
Why don't you care?_

Aldertree ghosted the tip of the knife down Alec’s face, next to his eye, and down his cheek.  “Where to start.” he whispered to himself.

 

Continuing the drag of the knife, he passed Alec’s jaw, and drew it down his neck. Arriving at Alec’s collarbone, Aldertree put pressure on the knife, causing the knife to slice the skin. Alec grit his teeth against the pain. It was a shallow cut, thus not as painful as he was sure it would become.

 

Aldertree put further pressure on the knife, causing it to dig deeper and drew it down Alec’s chest, and then deeper still, down Alec’s stomach, coming to a stop by the rune on his hip. Alex ground his teeth together and tasted blood, he must have caught his cheek or tongue. Aldertree then proceeded to slice up, down and over each of his limbs, and adding to the cut on his chest and abdomen. Aldertree returned the knife to Alec’s face, and proceeded to cut down over an eyebrow, by the outside of the eye, and down over the cheek to the jaw. Blood welled and quickly covered Alec’s vision in that eye.

 

Aldertree returned the knife to the tray and picked up his stele, “Have you ever had the Agony rune? I’ve used it before… quite effective.”

 

Alec pressed himself into the chair, trying to distance himself from Aldertree. Aldertree leaned in and put his stele to the side of Alec’s chest that was uncut. He began drawing the rune, Alec’s heart beating wildly in his chest.

 

When Aldertree finished the rune, pain a hundred times worse then Alec had ever felt in his life blossomed in every cell in his body. Roaring in his ears, he was vaguely aware of his body straining against where it was bound. It seemed to go on forever, no end in sight. 

 

Finally, it started to fade and Alec heard screaming. As the agony faded further he realized it was him. It ceased as the pain faded further, his body limp against the chair. His chest heaved as he gasped in air.

 

 

  
_I gave you all of me_  
 _My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears_  
 _Why don't you care, why don't you care?_

 

Izzy crouched to the side of Jace, “What do you feel?”

 

Jace locked eyes with her, “Fear. Izzy he’s scared.”

 

Magnus squeezed his eyes closed. For his strong shadowhunter to feel such fear, whatever they were about to do must be bad. How could he have let this happen. To his love, to his Alexander.

 

Jace grabbed his hip where the parabatai rune was.

 

“What is it?” Clary asked.

 

Izzy laid her hand on his arm.

 

Jace stared at his lap, “Pain, it isn’t so ba—“ He doubled over, a high pitched, pained whine escaping him.

 

“Jace!” Clary grabbed him, pulling him closer. “Jace.”

 

Jace ended up curled in the fetal position, panting and groaning, his head in Clary’s lap. Izzy couldn’t watch and turned into Magnus’ shoulder, tears wetting his shirt.

 

Magnus had so much anger and sadness and worry, that he was now numb to it, just pain permeating his being.

 

After a few minutes Jace’s body relaxed and he panted as he came back from feeling the agony of his parabatai. 

 

“Alec” he gasped. Clary’s hand found his hair and running her hand through it trying to soothe him.

_  
I was there, I was there, when no one was  
Now you're gone and I'm here_

_I have questions for you_

 

Alec felt like his chest was still sizzling from the Agony rune. He tasted more blood in his mouth. He tried to take stock of his body, but felt like he had no control of himself. 

 

“That was entertaining, what shall we do now?” Aldertree was once again by the metal tray, running his fingers over the tools on the tray. He selected a long, thin knife.

 

Alec tensed as Aldertree came closer, taking rapid breaths through his nose. Aldertree pointed to a few different runes across Alec’s shoulders, chest and abdomen, “Enee meanie minee moe. Which one shall we remove…. Or maybe I’ll skip a rune, and mark somewhere else, leave the runes for the more painful removal.” Aldertree nodded to himself and ran the knife against Alec’s sternum. “Maybe here.”

 

Aldertree made a vertical slice, then cut an arch to the right at the top end of the line. From there he dug in and made a ragged line down to just a few centimeters from Alec’s nipple, then brought it back to the bottom of the cut on Alec’s sternum.

 

Alec no longer had control over his voice. Ragged pants, hisses and sharp yelps, escaped his mouth alternating in response to Aldertree’s movements.

 

Aldertree looked at his haphazard shape, smiling at his work. He put the tip of the knife to the upper left and dug the tip in under the skin. Sliding the knife forward, he stopped when the middle of the blade was resting under a flap of skin, and then sawed the knife back and forth, slowly peeling the skin up and back.

 

Alec screamed in pain, as it increased and crescendoed. Finally it reached a point where he couldn’t take it anymore and mercifully, he lost consciousness.

  
_Number one, tell me who you think you are_  
 _You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart_  
 _(I have questions for you)_

 

Jace had changed sides and had his face buried in Clary’s stomach. His arms around her waist, his shoulders and face still in her lap. His legs were in Izzy’s. Magnus was at Jace’s back, his hand rubbing soothing circles into Jace’s side. If he couldn't help Alec, he’d take comfort in trying to soothe Jace.

 

Jace tensed and gave a deep, guttural moan. He squeezed Clary tighter. Clary locked eyes Magnus, tears ready to fall. Jace started panting through gritted teeth. Tears came quickly and started wetting Clary’s shirt. Clary massaged Jace’s head, trying to distract him from the pain, and provide him calm. Magnus rubbed Jace’s side and back, imaging he was comforting Alec through the bond.

 

Jace went ramrod straight and gave a strangled yell, then collapsed bonelessly against his support.

 

Izzy reached out a hand and ran a finger over his tear streaked cheek, “Are you okay?”

 

Jace took a moment to catch more of his breath, “I think he passed out... It’s all fuzzy right now.”

 

Magnus looked away and blinked his eyes rapidly. If Alec was unconscious then he’d have relief from the pain for a time. Magnus stood and sent a fire message to Catarina, informing her of what was happening and asking if she would help once he had found Alec. Catarina responded instantly stating she would be waiting at the loft.

 

They went back to soothing Jace, which provided them all comfort by giving them something to do.

  
_Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?_  
 _I should have never ever ever trusted you (I have questions)_

 

Alec floated in the dark, pain forced to the very farthest edges of his mind but creeping forward. He heard someone calling his name, and then a sharp sting shot through the dark. He was yanked out of the dark and into consciousness, his eyes fluttering open. Blinking rapidly at the bright lights, he tried to focus.

 

“There you are.” a voice said to his side. Alec couldn’t put a name to the voice for a few moments, then the name came to him,  _Aldertree_. The pain then came forward full force, causing him to gasp. His chest was burning so intensely, he could barely feel anything else.

 

“Look at me,” Aldertree grabbed Alec’s chin through the strap and yanked it up. Alec’s vision took a moment to focus on the face in front of him.

 

“Good. It’s a little early in the game to lose you. I’ve got so much more I could do.” An evil laugh escaping him as he returned to the metal tray. 

 

Alec’s throat was painful and dry. He tried to swallow to wet it, but had no success. He tried to talk, but it came out in a raspy whisper, “Do your worst.”

 

Aldertree leaned forward and laughed, “Oh I plan to. Since you will no longer be a shadow hunter, you won’t need to use that bow of yours.”

 

“When I got the call for this, I pulled out the anatomy pictures of the arm and wrist. I figured making your hand unusable would be twofold. Not only the pain, but the everlasting loss of one of the things that defined you.”

 

Alec fought the tears in his eyes as he struggled against the restraints on his wrists. Aldertree picked up more leather restraints. Moving to Alec’s right hand, he put a restraint higher up Alec’s forearm, by the elbow. He moved the current restraint from over the wrist to a few inches further up his arm. Making sure the wrist was face up, he put the final restraint across Alec’s palm, making sure to catch his thumb underneath the restraint. Testing each restraint, he felt they were up to snuff. Returning to the metal tray he selected a long thin knife and dipped it in demon blood. With a few steps, he was again in front of Alec. He pressed the tip of the knife against the skin below the wrist.

 

“Now we don’t want you to bleed out just yet, so I had to check the layout of arteries and veins. I think I’ve figured it out.” He moved the blade over and pressed it into the skin. Alec tried to pull his arm away, but had no leverage because of the multiple restraints. Aldertree moved the blade ever so slightly then sliced through something, causing a snapping noise, and a bright super nova of pain. After the flare dimmed, Alec tried to move his hand, but was only able to see a slight twitch. Tears escaped his eyes, a shudder overtaking his body.

 

 

 

 

_Number three, why weren't you, who you swore that you would be?  
I have questions, I got questions haunting me_

Jace was still curled between the three of them. He had passed out, and the three of them were silent, lost in their own thoughts. Jace suddenly gasped, his eyes flying open. He curled into himself again. Clary hugged him closer. Magnus knelt closer to Jace and rubbed his back. Izzy ran her hands down Jace’s calves, not able to reach more of him.

 

“Alec!” Jace’s painful cry tore at their hearts.

 

Jace choked as he felt yet another surge of fear and incredible pain through the bond. Clary grabbed his shoulders, “Jace! Jace breathe!”

 

Jace gasped a deep breath, tears tracking down his face. “They’re torturing him.  _Torturing_ him.” He sobbed.

  
_I have questions for you_  
 _I have questions for you (I have questions)_  
 _I have questions for you_

 

When Alec came to, he couldn’t hear Aldertree moving around. He tried to take a deep breath, but it caused the pain to flare, so he want back to shallow breaths. He weakly tested his restraints, nothing gave. The door swung open, Aldertree walking in.

 

“Hello again.” Aldertree came to a stop in front of him. “Unfortunately we’re running out of playtime before your de-runing is to start.”

 

He selected a dagger and covered it fully in demon blood. It dripped as he returned to Alec. 

 

Aldertree walked around to Alec’s back, Alec tried and failed to turn his head, restrained by the chin strap. He heard velcro coming apart and then felt cool air on his back. Two cold metal rods pressed into the middle of his shoulders and ran down to the edges of his hips. The cushion of the back rest must have been removed.

 

Alec felt the dagger tip ghost over his spine, tracing it downward. When it got to hip level, Aldertree moved it slightly to one side.

 

“Now, it’s time to make life a bit harder if you live through this.” Aldertree smirked and started pushing the dagger in.

 

Alec screamed in pain, it came out hoarse. He must have damaged his vocal cords. The pain moved from his chest to his back, the pain climbing, accompanied by burning as the dagger went deeper. The hilt hit Alec’s skin and could go no further. Alec panted, thinking it was done slicing.

 

Aldertree noticed the tension ease slightly from Alec’s body, and then twisted the handle, causing the blade to move sideways and tear through muscle. Alec screamed again in agony, and didn’t stop as Aldertree twisted again, then pulled the dagger out. Alec’s body lay limp against the chair.

 

“I think it’s time for another Agony rune.”

 

Alec tried to shrink against the chair, but couldn’t move his body, “No… please…” His pleas rasped out, escaping without control.

 

“Oh, are you begging? The mighty Alexander Lightwood?” Aldertree laughed heartily. He exchanged the dagger for his stele. 

 

Without his permission, Alec’s voice again escaped him, “Please… no…”

 

Aldertree grinned manically, enjoying having Alec at his mercy. He touched his stele against Alec’s chest, on top of the previous rune, and began drawing. Alec’s heart rate skyrocketed as his arms strained against his restraints, causing bright white flashes of pain to burst in various parts of his body.

 

Aldertree dug in his stele as he finished the rune. Alec gasped and choked as pain once again exploded inside of him, surpassing all the other pain. He lasted a few moments before the relief of unconsciousness took him.

 

 

_My, my name was safest in your mouth  
And why'd you have to go and spit it out?_

Jace had passed out for a short time, a tense silence taking over the room. Each person’s imagination wreaking havoc on their fears and hope. Jace was limp and sweaty. The three of them had stayed in their positions, offering comfort as they could. After awhile Magnus got up and retrieved a damp washcloth from the bathroom. He offered it to Clary to wipe Jace’s face and neck. Clary accepted it with a pained smile. Magnus resumed his seat behind Jace, and started to rub his back again.

 

Jace’s eyes fluttered open, “Clary?”

 

“Jace. Are you okay?” Clary asked.

 

“How are you feeling?” Izzy whispered.

 

Jace grimaced, “He’s so scared. So much pain.”

 

Magnus rubbed his eyes, wiping away tears, not worrying about his makeup.

 

Jace tensed for what felt like the hundredth time, and then jerked and gave out an agonized cry.

  
_Oh, your voice, it was the most familiar sound_  
 _But it sounds so dangerous to me now_

_I have questions for you_

 

“Now for my signature.” Aldertree clapped his hands and disappeared behind Alec.

 

Alec tensed,  _Signature?_

 

Aldertree walked back around with something iron, the end burning bright, “My brand. A mark for all to know whose artwork adorns you.” Aldertree tapped the fingers of his free hand against his lips, “Now where to put it.”

 

Alec was covered in cuts and oozing blood. He was starting to shiver and sweat, the demon blood spreading through his veins. Aldertree’s eyes fell on the Alec’s upper chest where he had been placing the Agony runes. He hummed in approval to himself. He took the brand in both hands and hovered it over the intended location.

 

Alec’s heart was again pounding wildly in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears escaping the outside edges. He pulled back into the chair as far as he could.

 

Aldertree pushed the brand against Alec’s chest, the smell of charring skin immediately filled the air. The smell made Alec retch, the pain overtaking all of his other senses. It was like his entire existence had come down to this one pain. He faintly heard screams escaping him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, the pain the center of his being.

 

Finally, Aldertree pulled the brand back and inspected his work. A smile spread across his face, and he whispered, “Beautiful” He walked back out of sight, and set down the brand. Returning to stand in front of Alec, he admired his work. It was impressive for the short time he’d been allowed to  _play_. 

 

The pain faded just enough for Alec to be aware of his surroundings. He saw Aldertree in front of him, looking at his body. Alec felt ruined, drained of all energy and fight. He didn’t think he’d be able to move, even if they unstrapped him and told him he’d have freedom if he could just make it out the door. His attention was snapped forward when he heard Aldertree mutter his name.

 

“Alexander… It’s been a pleasure.” Aldertree straightened, “But it’s time for you to be de-runed now.” Aldertree disappeared through the door.

 

 

  
_Number one, tell me who you think you are_  
 _You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart_  
 _(I have questions for you)_

Jace panted, “I don’t know how much more he can take.”

 

Magnus leaned over, “What do you mean?”

 

Jace turned his head slightly to look at Magnus, “He’s so weak. He’s fighting but he’s starting to fade.”

 

Magnus sighed but tried to offer comfort, “Alexander is strong. He’ll do everything he can to come back to us.”

 

Izzy let out a sob, before stifling it behind her hand.

 

Jace tensed and groaned as another intense pain pulsed through the bond.

  
_Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?_  
 _I should have never ever ever trusted you_

A guard entered and began removing the restraints from Alec’s body. Alec slumped against the chair, unable to move. The guard removed the chin strap, and Alec’s head fell forward. The guard knelt down, Alec saw pity in his eyes, the guard looked him over, stood up and disappeared out the door. After a few moments he returned with more guards. They were able to get Alec up and out of the chair. After some maneuvering they were able to carry Alec out of the room, down the hall and into another room. They laid Alec down on the altered gurney in the middle of the room. They strapped Alec down at multiple places, making any movement almost impossible. The guards left and two Silent Brothers entered. 

  
_I have questions for you_  
 _I have questions for you_  
 _I have questions for you (I have questions)_  
 _I have questions for you_

The Silent Brothers did not speak to him, instead they began removing the first runes. The pain was intense and Alec hissed and gasped. His neck rune was excruciating and he found himself silently screaming out in pain.

 

When only the parabatai rune was left, the Silent Brother closest lifted his stele.Alec panicked and tried to struggle. He tried to yell at them to stop, not that one. But nothing except a rasp escaped his throat. At the first touch of the stele, pain flared and he felt Jace at the other end of the bond. Jace was in pain and in so much grief. As the stele moved a few inches the bond was sliced thin and he felt a jolt as part of the bond snapped back. Alec tried to scream and reach out to Jace. Trying to grab on by his fingertips and hold tight. He tried to call out to his parabatai, tried to send one last pulse of love and thankfulness towards Jace. As the stele continued he felt the bond fading and weakening. He felt like a piece of his soul was being carved out of his heart. He tried pleading and begging, but nothing would come from his mouth. The bond was sliced again, and faded further until it was one last thread. Alec was sobbing silently. The stele finished removing the rune, and Alec was suddenly empty. He couldn’t sense Jace. He was alone.

_Do you care, do you care?  
Why don't you care?_

Jace laid bonelessly sprawled across the girl’s laps. Drying tear tracks streaking his face. Eyes open, unfocused. Clary still stroking his hair. Magnus crosslegged next to Jace’s hip, and Izzy still with Jace’s legs in her lap.

 

“No!” Jace cried, one hand grabbing at his parabatai rune.

 

“Jace? What is it?” Clary leaned over.

 

Jace’s eyes took a moment to focus on her, and whispered hoarsely “They're removing the parabatai rune.”

 

Jace squeezed his eyes shut, fresh tears escaping. He gasped out alternating between Alec’s name and no. 

 

New tears came to Magnus’ eyes. His Alexander was losing his parabatai, his best friend, his brother. Alec was going to be so broken, in so many pieces. He sat up straight, wiping at his tears. He was going to pick up the pieces and put Alec back together, with the help of Jace, and Izzy of course. But he was going to be strong for his shadowhunter. 

 

Jace gasps intensified, and then abruptly cut off in a sob. He buried his face in Clary’s stomach, sobbing, “He’s gone. He’s gone. I can’t feel him anymore."

  
_I gave you all of me_  
 _My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears_  
 _Why don't you care, why don't you care?_

Alec laid there, listless. He was alone, Jace was gone. The Silent Brothers left the room. For a few minutes Alec was alone with his grief and pain. It was over, his life was over. Everything he was good at was gone. Nothing left.

 

He heard someone come through the door, and felt the restraints being removed. He couldn’t bring himself to look though. The guards gathered him up and carried him out. Alec shut his eyes, absolutely exhausted.

  
_I was there, I was there, when no one was_  
 _Now you're gone and I'm here_

Jace had calmed slightly, still breathing shakily. At least the desperate sobs had ceased.

 

“What uh—“ Magnus cleared his throat. “What happens now?”

 

Izzy wiped her eyes angrily, “I’m assuming they- they leave him somewhere. But I don’t know, we were never told what happens after. Just that all ties to shadowhunters are cut once someone is de-runed.”

 

Magnus got up, rubbing his hands on his jeans, “Then we need to find him.”

 

Jace quieted at this, “Can you track him?”

 

“I should be able to. He’s still the same person, just different.”

 

Jace sat up, ran his hands over his face, and looked at Magnus, “What do you need?”

 

“Something he owns.”

 

“How about one of his shirts?” Izzy asked, getting to her feet.

 

“That would work.”

 

Izzy went to the closet and came back with on of Alec’s trademarked black shirts in hand. Giving it to Magnus she looked into his eyes hopefully.

 

Magnus gave her a pained smiled, and took the shirt in his hand. Closing his eyes, he wielded magic with his free hand and started tracking.

_I have questions for you, ooh  
I have questions for you_

_I have questions for you (I have questions)  
I have questions for you (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)_

Alec became more aware of his surroundings when he felt a breeze of fresh air brush his face, he was so cold. He could feel himself shivering. He opened his eyes and saw sky. He was still being carried, but they were outside. After a short distance he was unceremoniously dumped onto some concrete. The jarred landing cause the various pains to flare, and Alec promptly passed out. 

  
_I have questions for you, ooh_  
 _I have questions for you (foul play, no, foul play, no)_

“I’ve got him!” Magnus shouted, gripping the shirt tightly.

 

“Where is he?” Jace questioned, hope plainly written in his eyes.

 

“Is he okay?” Clary stood next to Jace, and squeezed his hand.

 

“Let’s go get him.” Izzy came to a stop next to Magnus.

 

A knock on the door sounded, followed by a guard entering, “You three are to remain here and guards will be checking on you periodically.” He turned to Magnus, “Warlock, I am to escort you off the premises.”

 

Magnus hugged Izzy and whispered, “Come when you can. I’ll find him.”

 

She nodded as Magnus glanced at Jace and Clary before looking at the guard, “I’ll see myself out.”

 

With a wave of his hand, he opened a portal and left.

 

 

 

 

_I have questions for you (I have questions)  
I have questions for you_

_I have questions for you_

_How do I fix it? Can we talk? Can we communicate? Can we talk? Do I wanna fix it?_

 

Magnus stepped out of the portal into a bricked back alley. Trash and filth all around him. Magnus strode forward, eyes scanning the various heaps. He caught sight of a hand, elbow down behind a mountain of trash. He ran forward and stopped short when he had a full view of Alec’s body.

 

“Alexander.” He cried as he knelt down next to Alec. He immediately called up his magic and searched for something heal. Unable to heal anything, he took Alec into his arms and opened a portal to his loft.

 

After stepping through, Magnus was greeted by Catarina’s gasp, “Oh Alec!”

 

Magnus carefully laid Alec down on his long sofa, then moved out of the way to allow Catarina room to assess Alec. 

 

“They used demon blood, I can’t heal him further until we get rid of it.” Catarina did another quick scan of Alec’s body, and then started listing out various ingredients she needed to make a potion and salves. She had gathered some items while waiting, but needed more, so Magnus quickly went to find what Catarina asked for. While she waited for Magnus, Catarina placed an IV and connected fluids and morphine.

 

Once everything was gathered, Magnus left Catarina to her potion making and returned to Alec’s side.

"Catarina, what're these?" Magnus asked, motioning to the bags hanging over the back of the couch.

With a glance up, she returned her focus to the potion, "Fluid and morphine. I haven't ever given morphine to a Nephilim so I opted on the 'more is good' side."

Noticing Alec shivering Magnus grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and warmed it with his magic. He carefully laid it over Alec, hoping it would warm him. 

 

_I have questions for you (I'm afraid of you)  
Is it my fault? Is it my fault? Do you miss me?  
I have questions_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI I edited the very last part of Chapter 2 to include something I forgot. It's in the last few sentences before the final lyrics.
> 
> *waves hands and steps aside* Enjoy! (hopefully)

Leaving the potion to settle, Catarina brought the salve and bandages over to the coffee table. Magnus glanced at the salve and then looked up at Catarina, a question on his face.

Catarina knelt down next to Magnus, "The salve will help draw out the demon blood. We should clean Alec up, and put on the salve and bandages as we go." She summoned some washcloths and dampened a few. "The potion has to sit for a bit before we can give it to Alec, so let's get this done first."

Magnus nodded and took a damp cloth from the pile. He pulled the blanket down, exposing Alec from the waist up. Catarina and Magnus started wiping away the dried blood and dirt. Catarina was quick and efficient due to her experience with healing. On the other hand, Magnus was going slowly to avoid catching the edges of any of the wounds.

Alec whimpered when Catarina cleaned the raw patch on his chest where the skin had been peeled. Magnus reached out and squeezed Alec's hand, holding it until she was done.

Once they had Alec's upper body clean, Magnus applied the salve while Catarina followed bandaging behind him. The cut on Alec's face was tricky since it was right next to his eye, but Catarina somehow figured out a way to cover it, barely covering the eye. 

Magnus then had to lift Alec up so Catarina could see his back. Magnus cradled Alec's head against his shoulder, and used his other arm to wrap around Alec's shoulders to hold him upright. Catarina worked in silence, first cleaning, then applying salve, then bandaging. Magnus saw Catarina frown when she got to Alec's low back.

"What is it?"

"This one is bad Magnus... It has demon blood though, so I can't do anything until we draw the blood out."

Magnus nodded and once Catarina was finished, he carefully laid Alec back down, using the blanket to again cover his upper body. Magnus and Catarina then worked on Alec's legs.

"His boxers are dirty Magnus. I can change them if you'd like? Maybe you can get the potion?"

Magnus nodded and lifted up to his feet. He heard a few of his joints pop as he walked to the dining room table. He felt drained, seeing his shadowhunter in this state was hard. All he wanted was to make it better, make it okay. Erase this horror from Alec's body and memory. Magnus picked up the potion and spun around at Catarina's soft voice saying Alec. 

Alec was once again covered by the blanket, though he was still shivering, and covered in a light sheen of sweat. But his eyes were open, unfocused and glossy, but open. Magnus nearly tripped over his feet rushing back to Alec's side.

"Alec, how are you feeling?" Catarina asked, gently turning Alec's head to the side to look at her.

Alec's eyelashes fluttered as he blinked a few times.

"Alexander? Darling?" Magnus tried.

Alec's eyes shifted and found Magnus' face, and rasped in a ruined voice "M'gs.. I'm c- cold."

Both Magnus and Catarina immediately reached for the blanket. Catarina pulled her hand back and Magnus used his magic to warm it further.

"Is that better darling?" Magnus watched Alec's face for any sign of discomfort.

Alec hummed back, though his teeth chattering intermittently disrupted it. Catarina moved forward with the potion, "Alec, I need you to drink this, okay?"

It took a minute for Alec to focus on her again, a frown on his face. Magnus leaned over next to Catarina, "Please Alexander. It'll help."

Alex closed his eyes for a few moments, then opened them to look at Catarina, " 'Kay."

Magnus moved around Catarina to Alec's shoulders and lifted him to a sitting position. Alec grimaced at the movement. Catarina brought the potion to Alec's lips and slowly poured it into his mouth. Alec swallowed a few times, then Catarina paused to let him catch his breath. After a few moments they resumed and finished the potion. Alec's eyes began drooping.

"M'gs," Alec whispered as he fell back asleep. Magnus carefully laid Alec back down and adjusted the blanket, tucking it in.

Catarina stood at Alec's hip and scanned his body with her magic. "The demon blood is retreating, slowly." She put her hands on her hips, then turned to Magnus. She cradled his face with one palm, "Magnus, I'm so sorry."

Magnus blinked away tears. Catarina continued, "I'm going to do my best, but there is a chance I won't be able to heal what all has been damaged by the demon blood before it retreated."

Magnus took a stilted breath, "Whatever you can do Catarina. _Please_. Whatever you can do."

Catarina nodded and sighed as she took a seat in the armchair across from the sofa.

Magnus looked up at Catarina's sigh, "What now?"

"Now? ... We wait."

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus was kneeling at the side of the couch, holding Alec's left hand. Watching Alec's face, he absentmindedly rubbed soothing circles onto the back of Alec's hand. It was dark out, and he and Alec had spent many a night on the balcony just looking at the lights, both above and below. How he longed for those moments.

Catarina and Magnus both jumped at the sudden pounding of the door.

Magnus used his free hand to magic the door open. He turned toward the opening through which the new arrivals would come. Izzy, Clary and Jace tumbled in on each other's heels, pausing when they took in the scene before them. Jace rushed forward and dropped to his knees at Magnus' side. He reached out to touch Alec, but pulled his hand back, concerned about hurting him.

"How is he?" Jace asked, not taking his eyes off Alec's face.

Izzy came to stand next to Jace, gazing down at Alec. Clary remained by Catarina.

Magnus motioned towards Catarina, who took the queue, "He has fluids and morphine, a pain medicine, going in through an IV, a needle in his arm. Magnus and I cleaned everything out, put salve on and bandaged all we could. Alec did wake up for a few minutes, so we were able to have him drink a potion. The potion and salve should both help draw the poison out of his system."

"He woke up?" Izzy exclaimed. "What did he say? How was he?"

"He was only awake for a few moments Isabelle. He barely said anything. Just that he was cold. Though he did nod when Catarina asked him to drink the potion." Magnus resumed rubbing soft circles into Alec's hand.

"How bad is it?" Jace whispered, as if he could barely speak the words. His head hanging forward.

Magnus looked at Jace, then at Catarina. He motioned for her to go ahead.

"The demon blood is preventing me from healing anything. I'm hoping it won't be the case, but there is a chance the damage done with the demon blood is permanent."

Clary and Izzy gasped.

"How could they let Aldertree do this?!" Izzy raged. "Alec did nothing wrong! It's just The Clave and their stupid, idiotic.." She trailed off as she started to cry, then groaned in frustration. Clary came to her side and hugged her.

Magnus reached over to give Izzy's hand a squeeze, "We'll take care of Alec. We're going to help him heal, as much as possible."

Izzy squeezed Magnus' hand before letting go in order to wipe her eyes again. Mascara smeared across her cheekbones. Izzy huffed again, "Magnus I need to get this off. Do you have makeup remover?"

"Yes, in the master bathroom. Help yourself."

Clary followed Izzy and disappeared from view.

Magnus clasped Jace's shoulder, "Alec will heal, and we'll help him. It'll be okay."

Jace turned to Magnus, "I can't feel him Magnus. I don't know what he's feeling, if he's in pain. I won't know what's going on anymore. He was a _part_ of me, and now it's just... gone."

Magnus sighed and pulled Jace into his side, "We're going to need to adjust to life again after this. We're all going to learn new boundaries and limitations. Not just with ourselves but especially with Alec. I don't know how he's going to be after this... But we have to help him."

Both Jace and Magnus froze as Alec's eyes opened again. It took him a number of blinks before he could focus, "J'ce?" Alec's voice was still ruined from all his screaming, raspy and barely audible.

Jace leaned back towards Alec, "Hey, I'm here."

"Wh't h'ppen'd?" A look of confusion on Alec's face. He tried wetting his chapped lips but found his mouth was dry too. "I'm thirsty."

Magnus snapped his fingers and grabbed the glass of water out of the air as it appeared. "Let's sit you up darling so you can have a drink."

Magnus handed the glass to Jace and moved to Alec's side, slowly lifting him up. He heard Alec groan at the movement, imagining the grimace that must be on his face. Magnus carefully sat behind Alec, careful to touch as little of Alec's body as possible to avoid causing any pain.

Jace brought the glass to Alec's lips and tipped it slowly, allowing Alec to take a few sips. Jace paused, "More?"

Alec hummed a yes, so Jace tipped the glass again and let Alec drink. When the glass is empty Jace pulled it away and set it on the coffee table. Jace looked at Alec's face, taking in the bandage down on side of his face, "How are you feeling?"

Alec hummed again, his body going lax. Magnus caught the weight against his chest, and slowly removed himself in order to lay Alec back down. Jace watched Alec, concerned.

"It's the drugs." Catarina said, causing the guys to turn towards her. "It's the medicine. He'll wake but it won't be for very long at a time."

They hear footsteps and look up to see Clary and Izzy, now free of makeup, returning.

Catarina stood and wiped her hands on her thighs, "It's time to change the bandages."

Catarina moved to Alec's side, Jace and Magnus stepping out of the way. She carefully pulled the blanket up and then down, exposing Alec's upper body and arms. The three shadowhunters gasp in unison at the array of bandages of different sizes tracking across all of Alec's skin. The bandages are a deep red, almost black. Catarina peeled the first bandage from Alec's chest and turned, then realized she doesn't have anywhere to put it. Magnus caught the pause and summoned a trash can to her side. Catarina gave him a weak smile in thanks before dropping the soaked bandage into the can. Catarina started with the smaller bandages and cuts, re-applying salve and new bandages as she went. She paused to swipe hair out of her eyes, then peeled back the large bandage on Alec's chest. 

Izzy squeezed her eyes closed and turned into Clary's side, not wanting to see it any longer. Jace watched as Catarina carefully cleaned the jagged shape. Catarina then moves to the brand, which is charred black, bright red and puffy around the edges. Jace swallowed hard to keep from gagging, and looked at Magnus, at a loss for what to do.

"Jace, maybe you can sit Alec up so I can do his back?" Catarina asked.

Jace, drawn back to the scene in front of him nodded and sat at the edge of the couch by Alec's hip. Ever so carefully, he took hold of Alec's shoulders, and used one hand to cradle the back of his head as he pulled Alec up. He laid Alec's head on his shoulder, and held onto the broad shoulders of his parabatai. Looking up, he saw Magnus watching Catarina work with a frown on his face. Glancing to the side, he doesn't see the girls. _It's best for them not to watch_ , he thinks. His gaze settled back on Magnus' face, worry gnawing at this chest.

"Is it bad?" he asked.

Magnus locked eyes with him and nodded. Jace squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, "How bad?"

Catarina leaned back, tossing another bandage into the trash, "He may never walk again."

Jace squeezed Alec closer to him, forgetting to be gentle, tears in his eyes. He felt hands on his arms, and saw Catarina. 

"Let's lay him back down."

Jace reluctantly loosened his hold and with the help of Catarina, laid Alec back down.

Jace and Magnus watch in silence at Catarina finishes the process with Alec's legs. Once Alec is once again wrapped in the blanket, Catarina stood up, "I'm going to mix another potion."

She walked off to the dining table, leaving Jace and Magnus alone with Alec. Magnus placed a hand on Jace's shoulder and squeezed. Jace dropped his head, his hair falling over his face. Jace's shoulder shook as he cried silently. Magnus allowed himself to shed tears for the first time since finding Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've commented, I LOVE you! Kudos are like a casual wave while you're walking by, but comments... They're like a hug with a huge smile. 
> 
> Question, what is a beta and what do they do? I may need one, any volunteers?
> 
> Also, does anyone have suggestions for more moody/melancholy/somewhat sad songs? Need to find more to help me write. Though Camila's song on repeat has basically gotten me to write a total of 3 chapters, so I can just work with it.
> 
> Let me know what you think, if anything sucked, or if you liked a specific part. That way I can improve and/or make sure to do more of what you like.
> 
> Yes, I'm a rambler. Sorry, not sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Magnus had settled into an armchair across from the sofa, allowing Jace to take up his post at Alec’s side. Jace was sitting with his side against the couch, his arms folded on the edge, with his chin resting atop them. Clary was at his side, her arm around his waist. Izzy was in the second armchair, her face in her hands, hair curtaining the sides of her face. Catarina had gone to one of the guest bedrooms to get some rest before it was time to change the bandages again.

The silence was cut by the buzzing of phones. Izzy and Jace both pulled out their phones to see a message from Maryse demanding they return to the Institute. Jace shut off his phone and set it on the coffee table, then resumed his position at Alec’s side. Izzy was about to do the same when a call came through, from Maryse. Against her better judgement, she answered, “No. We need to be here.”

Maryse’s angry voice was loud enough for the others to hear, “Alec is no longer a shadowhunter or part of this family. We need to worry about those of us still here. The Inquisitor is paying extra attention to us. If you don’t come soon, she’ll have questions.”

Izzy took a moment to compose herself, “Alec is still our brother. I’m not going to abandon him. I don’t care what you think.”

"Do you want Max to suffer more than he will with a de-runed brother?!?”

Jace locked eyes eyes with Izzy, “You go, we’ll take turns.”

Izzy nodded, “I’m coming.”

“And Jace?”

“He’s staying.”

Maryse heaved a disappointed sigh, “Fine.” 

Clary rested her chin on Jace’s shoulder, “Do you want me to stay?”

Jace didn’t move, “Go with Izzy. Keep her out of trouble.”

Clary nodded and got to her feet, she ran her fingers through Jace’s hair, “Just call me if you need me, otherwise I’ll be waiting.”

Izzy came to Alec’s side, leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead, “Take care big brother. I’ll be back soon.”

Izzy fixed a stern starn on Magnus, “You let me know if anything changes.”

Magnus felt a smile ghost over his lips, “Of course Isabelle. Do you need a portal?”

Izzy shook her head, “I need time to prepare myself to look at these people.”

Magnus nodded, and Clary and Izzy left.

* * *

 

Alec was floating on clouds, calm and peace lingering in his body. He felt he needed to wake up, but couldn’t remember why. He felt safe here.

A flash of a memory flit through his mind, covered in blood and pain. It didn’t last longer than a few seconds, but it pushed Alec out of his safe haven to consciousness.

His eyes fluttered open and he blinked a number of times, trying to see in the bright light. He felt hazy, with echoes of pain emanating from his body. He tried to clear his throat, but it remained dry.

“Alec?”

He turned his head to his left and saw Jace and Magnus. His lips twitched in a faint smile, “Hi.”

“Alexander, how are you feeling?”

Alec closed his eyes for a few moments, “Prickly.”

Jace raised an eyebrow, “Prickly? Are you in pain?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Magnus retrieved a potion and went to Alec’s side, “Time for another potion darling.”

“Why?”

Magnus reached out to cup Alec’s face, “To help you heal.”

Alec sighed, “‘Kay.”

Magnus handed the potion to Jace, and helped Alec sit up. Jace helped Alec drink the potion, and Alec went boneless against Magnus’ chest.

“What happened?”

Magnus and Jace exchanged a glance. Alec was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. Pain was starting to make itself known and he frowned. Already forgetting his last question, Alec tried to open his eyes again, “I had a bad dream.”

“It’s okay now darling. We’re here.” Magnus whispered. Jace found Alec’s hand and squeezed.

“I’m tired.” Alec sighed. Magnus carefully laid Alec back down.

“Go back to sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.”

Alec let his eyes close, and quickly drifted off.

Jace looked at Magnus with concern, “What are we going to do when he remembers?”

Magnus crossed his arms, trying to keep the worry and sadness in his chest from escaping, “I don’t know. We’ll just have to be here for him.”

* * *

 

After a few more hours, Catarina woke and returned to check on Alec. Jace moved from Alec’s side to give her space to move. She scanned Alec’s body, “The demon blood is gone from the wounds. I’m going to try to heal him.”

Magnus and Jace kept silent filled with hope and anxiety. After a few minutes, although they felt like it had been an hour, Catarina stopped pouring magic into Alec. She turned and addressed them, “I was able to heal all the cuts, but with the demon blood in his system for so long I’m not sure how badly they’ll scar. The deeper wounds are healed as much as I was able to.”

She knelt next to Alec and started removing bandages, revealing fresh pink scars crisscrossing Alec’s body. She cleaned the brand, wiping away the burned skin, and again it was a newly formed scar. She moved to the area of peeled chest and was pleased to see it had healed a little. It still looked raw and painful, but she’d happily take any improvement. The new scar on Alec’s face pulled slightly at the edge of his eye, but was better than she expected.

Moving to Alec’s right wrist, she scanned it again with her magic. The skin had closed, but underneath the damage wasn’t completely fixed. Nothing happened when she tried again to force further healing with her magic. It would have to heal naturally.

“Can someone sit him up? Time for his back.”

Magnus sat at Alec’s hip, and gathered him up in his arms. He leaned his forehead against Alec’s and closed his eyes while Catarina worked. His shadowhunter would carry these scars for the rest of his life, a physical reminder of what he had went through. Magnus felt like he was trying to hold sand tightly in his hands, and a stream was escaping between his fingers. He was at a loss for what to do, and how to help Alec. He was dreading when Alec finally remembered.

Catarina removed the bandage on the worst wound and prodded it with her magic. Pieces of it had mended but the majority was only weakly connected at the beginning stage of healing. She applied another salve to the wound and applied a clean bandage.

Jace had a tempest of emotions inside. Anger, fear, love, loss, blame and flits of thoughts rushed through him, alternating and repeating in a loop. His parabatai had suffered greatly and he had been unable to protect him from harm. He had failed Alec on one of the promises he had made at the very beginning. He should have tried harder, he should have  _fought_.

 

* * *

 

Catarina had turned down the morphine before she had gone back to rest. She instructed Magnus to wake her if Alec woke in too much pain.

Jace had changed places with Magnus and was now dozing in the armchair. Too exhausted from the events of the last two days to stay awake much longer. Magnus was now perched on the coffee table, watching Alec’s face, his two hands holding Alec’s. Magnus was humming a tune under his breath. He reached out and brushed some hair from Alec’s forehead. Magnus was grateful for Catarina’s healing abilities, as he was not strong in healing magic of any sort. This way Alec was spared some pain, and only had to deal with the worst wounds. Though his body would be forever scarred from his time with Aldertree.

Anger surged in Magnus’ chest at the name of the one who had caused so much pain and suffering for his shadowhunter. It would be his pleasure to seek revenge, though he would have to share it with Jace of course, though he found he didn’t mind that idea. Aldertree deserved to pay for what he had done.

Magnus was pulled from his thoughts when he heard Alec’s breathing pick up. He focused on Alec’s face, now wearing a grimace. Tears leaked from his eyes. Magnus’ heart paused at the sight and he reached out to touch Alec’s face, “Alexander, it’s alright. You’re safe now.”

Magnus placed one hand on Alec’s chest and felt the rapid heartbeat beneath the skin. He squeezed Alec’s hand with the one still holding it and called Alec’s name again.

Alec woke up in daze, his heart pounding, his breaths ragged. 

“Darling, look at me. You’re ok.” Magnus reached to Alec’s face and cradled it while turning it towards him. He met Alec’s eyes just now focusing on the outside world.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back more tears. He felt the pain in his chest and back and realized it had happened, it wasn’t just a nightmare. It was real. The lingering panic and pain was still ghosting through his body, so he opened his eyes to focus on Magnus, needed something to ground himself.

“Alexander,” Magnus reverently whispered.

“You should… should have… left me.” Alec said between hitching breaths.

“I could never have done that.” Magnus ran his fingers through Alec’s hair, trying to quiet him.

Alec’s squeezed his eyes shut in a grimace and tried to breathe normally.

Magnus sat up, “Alexander how’s the pain? Do you need more medicine?”

Alec blinked his watery eyes and shook his head, the immediately regretted the action. The motion pulling in odd ways. He could deal with the pain, he was a shadowhunter after all… he stopped his thought, he actually wasn’t a shadowhunter anymore. That life was over for him. He once tried to blink the tears away, but they began falling.

“Darling, what can I do? Whatever you need.” Magnus pleaded.

“How bad is it?” Alec whispered.

“Catarina helped heal you, she’d be best to tell you.”

“Just tell me.”

“She was able to heal most of the cuts and the brand, though it looks like they’re all scarring.” Magnus paused, not wanting to continue.

“What about my back?”

“We should really get Catarina.”

“Mags,  _please_.”

“Alexander, she couldn’t heal it much since the demon blood had been in there so long. She’s not sure, but it’s possible it’ll affect your leg…”

Alec could tell he was leaving something out. He just stared at Magnus, pleading with his eyes.

Magnus broke quickly and whispered, “You may have trouble walking.”

Alec turned his face away, tears running freely down his face. He shut his eyes, trying to make them stop, but they kept leaking out. Then he felt fingers wiping them away. His breath stuttered on a sob, trying to silence it as it tried to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's the pace, too slow?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who recommended songs. You definitely expanded my horizons! I enjoyed quite a number of them.
> 
> Here's another chapter for you. *pulls curtains aside*

“Jace,” Magnus called, waking Jace up. 

Jace took a few moments to fully wake, but then saw Magnus curved around Alec. “Is he awake? Alec?” He rounded the coffee table but was stopped by Magnus’ hand.

“Can you get Catarina please?”

Jace tried to look at Alec, but was blocked again by Magnus, “Okay.” He jogged out of sight.

Alec pulled his hand from Magnus and wiped his face. The movement gave the sensation of skin pulling tight, looking down at his arm Alec saw the crisscrossing pink scars. He frowned in disgust, though anxiety made his stomach churn with memories of how he got them.

Magnus reached out, “Darling, don’t move—"

Alec put his arm down, and then tried to push himself up with his elbows. Pain blossomed in his chest, and exploded in his back. He fell back down with a yell, panting, his breath stolen.

“Alexander are you alright? Wait for Catarina.” Magnus’ hands fluttered, unsure of where to land.

Catarina and Jace returned at a jog, with Catarina going straight to Alec’s side. Magnus and Jace stood off to the side, out of the way.

“Alec, how do you feel? How bad is the pain?” She leaned over and started to scan his body with her magic.

Alec gritted his teeth at the lingering pain, “I’m fine.”

Catarina noticed his pale face and tense jaw, “Alec. Let’s make a deal. You tell me the truth, and I’ll do what I came here to do. Help you.”

Alec loosened his jaw, “My skin keeps pulling tight. My chest and back are burning.”

Catarina nodded, lowering her arms, “Your skin is like that because of the new scars. It’ll take a few weeks for them to fully heal and start to fade. Your chest and back were the worst, so I’m not surprised they are causing you pain.”

Catarina looked him over once more before making a decision, “I’m going to turn up the morphine a touch, and mix another potion.”

Catarina adjusted the IV and went to the dining room. Jace hastened to Alec’s side, “Hey.”

Alec could barely look him in the eyes.

Jace frowned, “Alec. I was so worried. I’m so sorry.”

Alec locked gazes with him, “There’s no way you could have changed it.”

“I should have fought them. I could have figured something out. Should have gone to The Clave-” Jace looked up when Magnus laid a hand on his shoulder.

Magnus tipped his head toward Alec, “Maybe not now Jace.”

Jace glanced back at Alec, and saw he was grimacing again, “Alec? What can I do?”

Alec squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable in front of anyone. He didn’t want Jace to see him so weak. He didn’t want to see Jace and be reminded of the empty hole he had inside him now, where the bond used to be.

Magnus picked up on Alec’s discomfort, “Jace, maybe you can help Catarina for a moment?”

Jace dismissed him, without even looking up, “She’s fine. I should stay with Alec.”

Magnus looked at Alec who had turned his head away, “Jace. Please.”

Jace glared at him and stalked away to join Catarina.

Magnus knelt at Alec’s side, once again running his fingers through the dark hair, using his thumb to wipe away tears, “Catarina will be back in a moment with another potion. It’ll help. Do you need to anything?”

Magnus leaned over to get closer to Alec’s face and heard him say faintly, “Jace should go. He shouldn’t be here.”

Magnus sighed, “He’s been here the whole time. Wouldn’t leave, even when Maryse called.”

“She… called?” Alec’s voice coming out broken on his breath.

Magnus immediately regretted mentioning it. He didn’t want to repeat what Maryse had said. “Izzy and Clary were here, they went back to the Institute. Izzy and Jace are planning on taking turns here with you.”

“What about you? Don’t you need rest?” Alec opened his eyes and straightened his head slightly to look at Magnus. He noticed the smudged eyeliner and eyeshadow, the darkened area beneath Magnus’ eyes.

“Alexander, I’m fine. I’m just worried about you.” Magnus drank in the sight of Alec’s face, relief running through his veins. His shadowhunter was here, alive, and… maybe not in one piece, but he could work with that. He would help put him back together, maybe not in the exact same shape, but it will work. It would turn out, the force of his love pressing against the confines of his chest. 

“You need to… take care of yourself.” Alec was starting to tire out. The pain was numbing again, and sleep was calling to him.

Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand, and saw his eyes starting to droop. Magnus looked up as Catarina approached, with Jace following behind.

Catarina perched on the edge of the couch by Alec’s hip, “Time for another potion.”

Magnus slid his arm behind Alec’s shoulders and softly pulled upwards to get Alec sitting up. Alec hissed at the movement. Magnus squeezed Alec’s shoulder in apology. Catarina helped Alec drink the whole potion.

Catarina pulled the empty glass away from Alec, settling it in her lap, “You should rest. Do you need anything?”

Alec shook his head slightly, not meeting her eyes. Catarina rested her hand lightly on his blanket covered knee, “Ok.” She stood up and looked at Magnus, “You need rest too. He’s going to be out for a few hours after this. I’m going to go home to sleep and freshen up. When he wakes up next, it’d be good to change out the bandages again just to be safe. If something happens just call. Otherwise I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Magnus reached out with the hand not holding Alec up, and grabbed Catarina’s hand, “Thank you.” He tried to put the strength of his gratitude and all his emotions in his gaze, unable to find the words. Catarina nodded and left the room.

Magnus looked back at Alec and saw he had already drifted off. He lowered Alec back down and adjusted the blanket again. Standing up, Magnus turned and looked at Jace who was looking longingly at Alec.

“Jace you should go home and rest. You heard Catarina, Alec will be out for awhile.” Magnus bent over to take Jace’s phone off the coffee table, and held it out to him.

Jace looked at the phone, “It wouldn’t be right to leave.”

Magnus tried to think of a gentle way to tell Jace that Alec didn’t want him here. Magnus straightened and took a step towards Jace, “Jace. Please go, you know Alec wouldn’t want you risking anything at the Institute. Don’t cause him more stress.”

Jace looked at Magnus with a start, he hadn’t thought of that. He tucked his phone into his pocket and raked both hands through his hair, “Okay.”

“I’ll let you know if anything happens. You can come back after you rest and when you can get free. I’ll take care of him for now.”

“I know. I just-“ Jace looked at Alec again, “Without the bond, I don’t know how he is. If I leave I won’t know if something happens. I won’t even be able to sense if he’s  _alive_.”

Magnus, at a loss for words, opened a portal, “He’s safe here.”

Jace nodded and disappeared through the portal.

* * *

Magnus ended up unable to leave Alec, so he found himself in the armchair with a tumbler of whiskey in one hand, his feet up on the coffee table. Gazing at Alec, he was absently summoning his magic with his free hand to form a shape, and then releasing it. 

His thoughts were consumed with his shadowhunter and what he would need. Is the couch comfortable enough or should Alec be moved to a bed? How long should he keep from moving, how was he going to get around? He’d probably pummel Magnus into a pulp if he insisted on carrying him.

Magnus huffed a dry laugh at that thought. His strong, proud shadowhunter would have a difficult time with accepting help. They had been at a point in their relationship where they had been open with each other, even about vulnerabilities. Hopefully this would allow Alec to at least let Magnus help, even if it was minimal at the beginning.

Magnus’ thoughts turned dark when he thought of all Alec had lost. He would no longer be considered a shadowhunter, no longer welcome at the institute. He had lost his job, his passion, likely his drive. He was no longer part of the community, Maryse didn’t even think of him as her son anymore. She’d likely keep Max from him as well. That would be hard blow for Alec. His family was so important to him. Though now, would he be able to see Izzy, and Jace without being reminded of his losses, the new voids in his life?

Magnus turned his gaze out the balcony doors. Gentle afternoon light was creeping through the windows, casting a warm glow through the loft. Was it really just a few nights ago that Alec and he had been out there, talking and laughing, sharing kisses? It felt like another lifetime. 

He swirled the remaining whiskey in the glass, and took another sip. He set the glass on the end table next to the armchair, and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

* * *

 

Alec woke up back in the chair, the restraints cutting into his skin. Panic seized his heart, and he struggled, straining against the leather straps.

“None of that Alexander.” Aldertree rounded the chair into Alec’s sight. A large grin on his face.

Alec tried to yell at him, to rage, but his voice wouldn’t work.

Aldertree straightened and clasped his hands behind his back, “If you live through our time, and de-runing, what are you going to do? You’re no longer a shadowhunter. Heaven’s no.” He clucked his tongue and paced back and forth. “You’re going to be such a burden. If you ever recover, doubtful of course, but if it happens, what are you going to do?”

Aldertree paused and leaned down into Alec’s space. Alec’s skin crawled as he tried to pull himself farther away. Aldertree’s smile widened, “Whatever are you going to do?”

He reached out a hand and pressed two fingers into the skinless patch on Alec’s chest. Pain pulsed like electricity through his veins. Aldertree dug his fingers in and Alec tried to scream.

“You’re going to be hideous with my marks all over you. No one will want you, for anything. Not that warlock, not Izzy, not Jace, no mundane will tolerate the sight of you.” Aldertree sneered. He reached around Alec’s hip and touched two fingers to the edge of the knife wound there. Alec tensed. Aldertree smirked and pressed three fingers in, causing it to rip and stretch. The pain increased and Alec choked on his breath —

And woke, covered in sweat, gasping for air. His eyes wide, anxiety compressing his heart, restricting his breathing. He heard a faint voice calling his name. His eyes darted to the side and found Magnus.

“Alexander, you’re okay. Take some deep breaths.” Magnus demonstrated, and kept at it. Alec eventually was able to start matching his breathing and slow his heart. After a few minutes Alec’s body relaxed.

Magnus wiped his hand over Alec’s brow, “There we are.” Magnus grabbed a washcloth off the coffee table and dampened it with his magic, and began wiping Alec’s face clean.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut, Aldertree’s words on a loop in his head. He tried to focus on Magnus’ ministrations, but nothing could drone out Aldertree’s rant. 

Alec desperately opened his eyes and looked at Magnus.  _I’m going to lose this_ , the thought crashed into his mind at full speed.  _His love will fade out with my usefulness_. Alec blinked back tears, “Mags.”

Magnus paused and looked at Alec, “Yes darling?”

“I love you.”

Magnus smiled and pressed a kiss to Alec’s forehead, “I love you too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't cooperate. Apologies for any parts that are awful.

“Let’s change your bandages darling.” Magnus reached to the far side of the coffee table to pull the bandages and salve closer.

Alec watched as Magnus moved, fluid and graceful as ever. A longing took hold in his chest, he wanted to reach out and have Magnus hold him, put him back together. He stopped the impulse, he was already weak and people were helping him, he should accept what they were giving, not asking for more. He blinked rapidly to push back tears.

Magnus didn’t notice this, too focused on removing the bandage from Alec’s chest. Although he was careful, the bandage did catch and pull a few times while being removed. Alec grimaced, but it was over quickly. Magnus disposed of the bandage, and picked up the container of salve, applying a thin layer over the wound. Alec felt a vague pressure, but didn’t feel pain. Magnus placed a new bandage over the injury and leaned back on his heels.

“Now you’re back. If I lift you to sitting, do you think you’d be able to hold yourself with your left hand?” Magnus questioned, concerned, “Otherwise we can wait until Catarina comes back.”

“I can do it.”

Magnus nodded, and carefully helped Alec to a sitting position. He hovered his hands at Alec’s shoulders, waiting to see if Alec could hold himself up. It took Alec a moment to find a balance, but was able to use his arm to lean on, his right arm curled over his stomach, protecting his wrist and hand.. Magnus made quick work of changing the bandage on Alec’s back. By the time he was done, Alec was starting to pant with exertion, arm trembling. Magnus helped Alec back down.

“Darling, how’re you feeling?”

“I’m okay.”

“Any pain?”

Alec took a moment to take stock of his body. He felt some pain in his chest and back, but with the medicine in his veins, he barely felt it, “Not much.”

Magnus gave a weak smile. At least his shadowhunter was somewhat comfortable.

“Mags?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Alexander, you are the most important person in my life. I can’t even imagine you being elsewhere. You’re  _mine_.” A possessive growl escaping with that last word.

“I - I don’t…” Alec paused, fighting to get the words out, “Don’t want… you stuck… with me.”

“I could never be stuck with you. I love you. I’m here for you, and we’ll work through this together.”

“What if-“

Alec was cut off by a portal forming and Catarina stepped through. She took in the sight before her, and her gaze lingered on Magnus.

“Magnus Bane.” Catarina crossed her arms in front of her. “I told you to rest.”

“I did.”

Catarina quirked her brow.

“A little.”

Alec huffed a laugh at his boyfriend being reprimanded. Catarina came to their side, “You are hereby banned from the living room and I will not let you return until you have slept.”

Magnus narrowed his gaze, “This is my own home. I will not be ordered around.”

Catarina smirked, “We both know I can make you go if I have to.”

Magnus gasped, “You would never!”

Catarina laughed, “I will if I have to. Now go!”

Magnus stood frozen for a moment before realizing she meant business. He turned to Alec and kissed his brow, “I’ll be back as soon as this… witch let’s me.”

Catarina barked another laugh. Alec smiled, “Go sleep.”

Magnus nodded and left the room. To tell the truth, he was exhausted, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Alec’s side. Well, if he  _had_  to, then Catarina was a decent stand in. He shut the door of the master bedroom behind him. 

Magnus stood in front of the vanity as he removed his rings and necklaces. Too impatient to do it by hand, he snapped his fingers to remove his makeup. He then walked to his closet, selected pajamas and changed. He spent a few moments in the bathroom, then slid between the sheets of the bed.

It felt so empty with just him. He laid there, trying to relax, but his thoughts were focused on Alec in the other room. After a few minutes his eyes started droop. He felt the ghost of Alec’s body pulling him under, into dreams full of his shadowhunter.

* * *

 

Alec heard Magnus’ footsteps fade, and looked at Catarina. She had a fond smile on her face. After a few moments she turned to Alec. She reached out a hand towards him and Alec flinched back.

Alec frowned, “I’m sorry.”

Catarina shook her head, “No apologies needed. It’s completely normal for someone who’s gone through what you have. It’ll take time.”

Catarina scanned Alec’s body with her magic, “Everything seems in order. Unfortunately I can’t force any further healing at this point. So you’ll have to heal naturally.”

“How bad is it?”

Catarina sighed, “Too early to tell for sure, can make guesses from the locations and how far healed they are at the moment. But it’d be better if we let things heal a bit more, get you moving a little. Then we’ll see where we’re at.”

Alec gave a slight nod. He was tiring again.

“Looks like you need more rest. Just relax and I’ll be here when you wake up.”

* * *

 

Alec woke with the low murmur of voices around him. He blinked his eyes open, and saw someone leaning over him. He recoiled, then promptly let out a pained groan from the movement.

“Alec?” Izzy asked, sitting down on the coffee table.

Alec fought for control over his racing heart. Catarina noticed how tense was, “Izzy sit back a little, give him some space.”

Izzy glanced at her, questions in her gaze, then realized what she had been doing. She pulled back a little, and returned her eyes to Alec.

Alec had to fight to calm himself, but once he was able to he opened his eyes again. He saw Izzy giving him a pained smile. His eyes trailed downwards in his typical way, checking that she was alright, but all he could see were the runes decorating her skin. He squeezed his eyes shut at the reminder.

“Alec?” Izzy asked concerned at Alec’s grimace. “Are you okay big brother?”

Alec couldn’t do this right now. He wasn’t strong enough. He wanted Magnus. But Magnus was sleeping, he didn’t want Magnus to be woken up. His breath hitched.

Catarina noticed, and reached out for Izzy, “Izzy, can you give us a moment? Maybe you can make some tea?”

Izzy, torn, looked from Catarina to Alec. Confused, she decided to do as she was asked. Catarina knew what she was doing. Izzy got up and left the room.

Catarina moved and took Izzy’s perch on the coffee table. “Alec. It’s okay now. It’s just me and you.”

Alec took a few more breaths, trying to keep the sobs at bay. He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to fight the tears.

Catarina put her hand on Alec’s shoulder and after he flinched, she left it there, “I can ask her to leave.”

“She’s my sister.” Alec whispered.

“All the more reason. She wouldn’t want to hurt you.” Catarina squeezed his shoulder lightly, “Whatever you need.”

 _Magnus_ , Alec thought,  _I want Magnus_.

“Ok.” He mumbled. He could wait for Magnus to come back. He could do that.  _What if he doesn’t come back? He’s trapped now. Who’d want to be chained to you?_ His mind sneered.

Catarina and left the room. Izzy came back shortly after. She leaned over to kiss Alec’s forehead, and missed his flinch, “Catarina says you need to rest. I’ll be back when I can. Ok big brother?”

Alec looked up at her, trying to focus only on her face, “Ok.”

“Ok.” She gave him a small smile and left.

Catarina returned with a cup of tea and took a seat in the armchair.

Without looking at her, Alec thanked her. 

Catarina murmured, “You’re welcome.”

Alec closed his eyes again, but could feel tears leaking out the sides of his eyes. Aldertree’s voice whispered incessantly in his mind. Unable to escape, Alec laid there, tears flowing silently.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank everyone who has commented. You are fabulous and make me smile, even if the fic does the opposite for you.

Magnus woke to the incessant buzzing of his phone. Soft light was filtering through the curtains, he must have slept through the night. He quickly sat up, rubbed his eyes, ran his hands through his hair, grabbed his phone and left the room. He couldn’t bring himself to think of anything but Alec and how he was doing.

He got the living room and saw Catarina sitting in the armchair, reading. He turned his head, seeking out Alec. His shadowhunter was asleep on the couch. He took a few steps to Catarina’s side, “How is he?”

“Physically? Doing alright, doesn’t seem to be in too much pain.”

“Mentally?”

“He’s struggling Magnus. Izzy was here and her runes weren’t covered. It sent him into a tailspin. I had to ask her to leave.”

Magnus’ eyes widened, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You needed sleep. Alec needs you present, not half awake.”

Magnus sighed and looked down at the phone in his hand. He tapped the screen and saw he had a few missed calls from Jace, and a text.

Jace:  _How is he?_

Magnus typed out a reply,  _Sleeping_.

Jace:  _I packed a duffel with his clothes before the Inquisitor had his room cleaned out, not much else here. Can I bring it over?_

Magnus:  _Sure, but make sure you wear a shirt that covers your runes._

Jace:  _Why?_

Before Magnus could respond.

Jace:  _Did something happen?_

Magnus:  _Izzy came but didn’t cover her runes. Apparently Alec had a hard time._

Jace:  _Dammit. How are we so stupid?_

Jace:  _Don’t answer that. I’ll come when I can get away. The Inquisitor is threatening us about seeing Alec._

Magnus _: What is she saying?_

Jace: _Mundanes and shadowhunters aren’t supposed to interact. She’s_

Magnus waited for the next message.

Jace _: Saying she could bring Alec back for punishment since he hasn’t cut ties with the shadowhunters._

Magnus bristled and felt like steam was coming out of his ears:  _They won’t be able to get anywhere near Alec with my wards up. I’d like to see them try. They are never_   _getting their hands on him again_.

Jace _: Agreed. If I hear anything else I’ll let you know. I’ll be there when I can._

\--

The next time Alec woke, a lazy smile grew on his face upon seeing Magnus sitting at his side.

“Hello darling.” Magnus smiled back and reached out to run a hand through Alec’s hair.

“M’gs.” Alec mumbled, still half asleep.

Magnus’ heart seized with happiness at the nickname Alec had given him. Catarina watched with fondness and sorrow that this soft moment would end once Alec was fully awake. She could only hope that, with Magnus’ help, Alec would recover enough to where they could get back to this place of comfort.

“Missed you.” Whispered Alec.

Magnus ran his hand through Alec’s hair again, then leaned forward to give Alec a quick kiss. Alec’s eyes fluttered closed for a few moments before opening again, more awake.

Catarina walked over to their sides, “Let’s change the bandages and then maybe get you into some clothes?”

Magnus stood up, “Yes that sounds like a fabulous idea.” He turned to Alec, “What shall I bring you?”

Alec blinked up at them a few times, unsure what to say. Catarina laid her hand on Magnus’ arm, “Perhaps a button up that’s easy to get on and off, and then some loose sweatpants? Of course, underwear and socks.”

Magnus looked at Alec who nodded, “Ok, I’ll be right back with that.” Magnus left the room.

Catarina pulled the blanket down, and changed the bandage on Alec’s chest. Helping Alec to sit up, he was able to hold himself up again for Catarina to change the bandage on his back. Just as she was finishing, Magnus returned with the clothing in his hands.

“Magnus, let’s get the shirt on first.” Catarina held out her hand, into which Magnus passed the dark blue button up he had pulled from the closet.

Magnus took Alec’s weight onto his chest while Catarina opened up the shirt, ready to slip in the right arm. 

“Alec, let’s go nice and slow, I don’t want to aggravate anything. Let me do the work.” 

Alec nodded, and let Catarina lift his right hand and gently began sliding it into the sleeve. She carefully pulled the sleeve up and pulled his hand through the cuff. She stood and wrapped the shirt around, and with help from Magnus, was able to get the back of the shirt in place.

Magnus took all of Alec’s weight and leaned him slightly to the right, while Catarina helped guide Alec’s left arm into the sleeve. Alec grimaced and hissed when the skin on his chest pulled painfully, but it was over quickly. They let Alec rest on Magnus’ chest while he panted from the exertion. 

“Do you need a break or should we go ahead with the pants now?” Catarina asked.

Alec took a deep breath, “Let’s do it now.”

"Magnus, I’ll need you to lift him up so I can pull the boxers down, ok?” Catarina noticed Alec tense while Magnus nodded. “Alec I’ll leave the blanket on, we just need to get into some clean clothes okay?”

She waited until Alec nodded. She reached under the blanket and took hold of Alec’s boxers, then tipped her head to Magnus. Magnus, who hand wrapped his arms underneath Alec’s arms and around his chest, lifted Alec. Alec groaned in pain. Catarina quickly pulled the boxers down, "Ok Magnus.”

Magnus immediately settled Alec back down, “Are you alright darling?”

Alec kept his shut until the pain dissipated, “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Catarina worked the boxers down Alec’s legs and off. Though each movement of Alec’s left leg sent jolts through his body, causing him to hiss. 

Catarina grabbed the new boxers and worked them up to Alec’s thighs, trying to move his legs as little as possible. She then grabbed the sweatpants and worked them up until both the boxers and sweatpants were at Alec’s thighs. 

“Ok Magnus, lift.”

Magnus lifted, a pang in his chest at Alec’s pain caused by the movement. Catarina quickly worked the clothes up to Alec’s hips and nodded at Magnus who set Alec down. As Alec panted, trying to recover from the pain, Catarina slid the socks on.

“There, much better.” Catarina stood up, dusting off her knees. She snapped her fingers, banishing the dirty blanket and clothes to the laundry room. She summoned a new blanket and carefully laid it over Alec, tucking it in around his legs.

Magnus moved his arms slightly but stopped when Alec’s left hand locked onto his wrist.

Alec turned his head to the side and up to look at Magnus, “Please… stay.”

“Of course darling.” Magnus sat back against the couch cushions, and summoned pillows for his lap. Catarina got Alec situated and helped him lay back. Alec held onto Magnus’ wrist and didn’t let go. Once Alec was comfortable he moved his hand to Magnus’. Magnus surrounded Alec’s hand with his hand, and held them against Alec’s stomach. 

Alec turned his head to Catarina, “When can I try moving around?”

“To start, just sitting up, maybe moving your legs up and down from the couch. Once you get a handle on that, and it’s not too painful, you can try standing. You probably won’t be able to put your full weight on your leg for quite awhile, but it’d be good to get moving.”

Magnus nodded and squeezed Alec’s hand, “That sounds good, doesn’t it darling?”

Alec nodded. If he could at least move, it was better than what he had feared.

“How’s the pain?” Catarina asked.

Alec paused, “Not bad right now.”

“Ok, I’ll leave the pain meds as is, though I think I can disconnect the fluids for now, as long as you keep hydrated.”

“I’ll make sure he has a lot of water.” Magnus summoned a glass of water to emphasize his point. Magnus helped Alec drink while Catarina unhooked the fluids.

“Ok, I’ll go for now, I’ll be back tomorrow. Of course I will come sooner if anything happens. Just call me ok?”

“Thank you.” Alec reached out to squeeze her hand.

“You’re welcome Alec. I’m here for anything you need. We all want you to get better.” With that Catarina nodded at them both and left the room to portal home.

Alec sighed and brought his hand back to Magnus’. Magnus intertwined their fingers, and brought his free hand to run through Alec’s hair. Alec let his eyes fall closed and focused on the calming movement of Magnus’ fingers. He soon found himself falling asleep.

—

Alec looked down at his body, watching the blood ooze from each of Aldertree’s cuts, oddly fascinated at the trails it made against his skin. The blood ran over faded burns of his removed runes, met with other drops of blood and continued its travel downwards. Blood dripped from the ends of his fingers, down to the floor. He could hear the faint splash as each drop landed. Each drip released another of Aldertree’s whispers.

Drip.  _You’re not a shadowhunter anymore._

Drip.  _Who’ll love you like_  this?

Drip.  _No one will want to be_ stuck  _with you_.

Drip.  _The only thing people will see when they look at you will be your scars_.

Drip.  _You’ll be so ugly_.

Drip.  _You’ll be a burden_.

Drip.  _So broken_.

Alec could hear Aldertree’s laughter as he shut his eyes.  _You know I’m right._

\--

Jace had made sure to wear a long sleeve shirt to cover up his runes. He arrived a Magnus’ after dark with the duffel bag and quietly let himself in the loft. He set the duffel down in the entryway and called out softly, “Magnus?”

“In the living room.”

Jace made his way there and took in the sight of Alec, asleep, propped up on Magnus’ lap. Their hands clasped over the blanket. He smiled faintly, “How’s he doing?”

“Ok at the moment.”

“What did Catarina say? How bad is the damage?”

“Too early to know the limitations. But she says he should try to start moving little by little. See how it goes.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yes.” Magnus swirled the drink in his hand before taking a sip.

Jace took a seat at the armchair, and went back to watching Alec. He seemed so at peace asleep, no grimace of pain on his face. 

“Drink?” Magnus inquired.

“Sure” Jace took hold of the drink that appeared at his side.

“How’re you holding up? How’s Izzy?”

Jace frowned as he thought it over, “Izzy is angry, and sad, but mostly angry. Her temper is bad right now. I think Maryse and the Inquisitor are tired of her.”

Jace paused and looked at his drink, “Maryse told Max that Alec did something horrible and was de-runed. That he is a disgrace to the family name.”

Magnus frowned, anger growing in his chest.

Jace took another sip, “Maryse cornered Izzy and I as well.  _That_  was fun.” He rolled his eyes.

“I can imagine.” Magnus mumbled. “You didn’t say how you were doing.”

Jace brought the drink up to his lips and took a few gulps, focusing on the burn. Quiet settled over them for a few minutes before Jace finally spoke up, “I’m empty. I wake up and automatically go to check the bond for Alec and he’s not there.” Jace rubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.” Jace looked over at Alec, lingering on his face. “He shouldn’t have gone through this.”

“But he did.”

Jace gave a pained sigh, “How do I help him? I don’t know what to do.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So life happened, sorry for the wait for this chapter.   
> I've redone this chapter a few times and still not feeling like it's up to par but can't think of any way to improve it further, so here it is.

Alec startles and wakes to the sound of someone calling his name. He’s panting, his heart racing, and sweat on his brow.

“Alec, you’re ok. You’re awake now. I’m here.”

Alec blinks away the blurriness from his eyes and focuses on the man beside him,  _Magnus_.

Magnus gives him a faint smile, “There you are.”

Alec looks at Magnus in confusion as he calms his breaths. Magnus wipes Alec’s brow with a cloth, “I think you were having a nightmare.” Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand.

Alec feels heavy, and hot. He pulls his hand from Magnus’ and pushes the blanket down a little.

“Do you want me to take it off?” Magnus’ nods towards the blanket.

“Yeah.” Alec whispers.

Magnus removes it and throws it over the back of the couch. 

“Wanna sit.” Alec motions in the air with his hand, then brings it down to brace himself. Magnus helps him sit up. Alec stares at his legs, debating about moving. Gritting his teeth he orders his left leg to move, pain flares but he’s able to move it a few inches. Letting it drop again, he pants from the exertion.

“Why don’t I help you?” Magnus leaves Alec’s back. Holding Alec’s calves, Magnus gently swings them outwards and rests Alec’s legs on the coffee table. He places a pillow under them.

Magnus helps Alec adjust to sit against the back of the couch. Alec leans his head back against the cushions, breathing hard and a new sheen of sweat on his brow.

“That good darling?” Magnus leans to wipe Alec’s brow again.

Alec nods, but keeps his eyes closed and head back. Magnus takes in Alec’s pale face, the slightest darkening patches starting underneath his eyes. The nightmares are making it hard for Alec to sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

Magnus wipes Alec’s brow again, “Would you like some water?”

Alec hums his assent, and Magnus summons a water glass. Magnus helps him drink, then send the empty glass to the kitchen. Alec reaches out blindly with his good hand, and Magnus gives Alec his own. Alec brings their hands back to his chest, accidentally resting them against the skinless patch. He grimaces and moves their hands down. Then he sighs.

“Go back to sleep.” Magnus whispers.

“D’n’t leave.” 

“I’ll be right here.”

* * *

 

The following morning finds Catarina arriving at Magnus’ loft. She finds Magnus and Alec on the couch. Alec asleep, head on Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus awake, one of Magnus’ hands in Alec’s.

“Why do you have a wheelchair?” Magnus asks, looking at the contraption in front of her.

Catarina smiles, “For Alec of course, so he’s not stuck on the couch all the time. You could provide him with a change of scenery once in awhile.”

She leaves the wheelchair and comes to Magnus’ side, “How is he?”

“Not sleeping well or enough. Nightmares.”

Catarina nods, “I’ll make him a calming potion to see if it’ll help him relax enough to avoid them. But that’s about all I can do.” She turns to Magnus again, “Has he told you about them, or what happened?”

Magnus shakes his head.

“It’s early yet, but hopefully he will eventually. It’d be good for him.”

Alec snuffles in his sleep and squeezes Magnus’ hand. Magnus watches as Alec wakes.

“Good morning darling.”

“M’rn’g.” Alec grumbles, still blinking sleep away.

Magnus looks up at Catarina’s laugh, “He’s not much of a morning person.”

“I gather.”

It takes a few minutes, but Alec straightens and looks at Magnus, then notices Catarina. Catarina notices the darkened skin under Alec’s eyes, “I’m thinking I can take the IV out, and we can have you take medicine instead.”

Alec nods, “‘Kay.”

Catarina removes the IV, taping down a small cotton ball over the prick. She magics the IV away and claps her hands together, startling Alec, “I brought you a present.”

Alec’s brows lift as he looks at her. Catarina moves to stand behind the wheelchair. Alec looks at it, “Thanks.” From the blank look on Alec’s face, she realizes he doesn’t know what it is.

“It’s a wheelchair. People use it when they can’t walk around. It has wheels, see?” She taps a wheel with the toe of her shoe. “This way Magnus can take you around the loft, and not leave you stuck on that couch.”

Alec’s face flushes in shame.  _Can’t do anything for yourself. They can’t leave you alone. They have to cart you around like a child._ Aldertree whispers.

“Shall we try it out?” Catarina asks.

Alec nods stiffly, and tries to move his legs from the coffee table. Magnus jumps in to help with his injured leg. Once done, Magnus moves the coffee table out of the way, and Catarina moves the wheelchair next to Alec.

“We’ll help you move over a bit, lift you a little, then sit you down in the chair.” Catarina takes hold of one of Alec’s arms, with Magnus taking the other.

Alec grits his teeth as Catarina and Magnus start helping him move closer to the edge of the couch. Once there they both lift slightly, bring him to the side, and then sit him in the chair. The movement aggravates his injuries, so he braces his left arm on the armrest. Wanting to get more comfortable, he pushes with his good leg to sit farther back. 

“How is that?” Catarina leans over to flip out footrests, and move Alec’s feet to them.

Alec relaxes his jaw, “Good.”

“Where shall we go Alexander?” Magnus asks. Alec shrugs, looking down at his hands. Magnus’s smile falls, he had hoped this would help a little bit. “The balcony? Some fresh air? Or shall we go to the office and find some books?”

Alec looks at the balcony doors, “Out- outside would be nice.”

Magnus waves the doors open and slowly rolls Alec forward and out onto the balcony. Alec feels a soft breeze caress his face, he leans his head back, closing his eyes. Magnus parked Alec in the sun next to the patio furniture. Magnus watches as Alec relaxes and a sigh escapes him. A flicker of hope sparks in his chest, his Alexander was still there. They could get through this.

* * *

 

“That’s good Alec, very good.” Catarina praised, hovering on one side, with Magnus on the other. Alec was standing in the middle, all his weight on his good leg. Alec grimaced, even the slight weight of his bad leg resting was irritating the wound on his back.

Catarina and Magnus took hold of Alec’s arms and lowered him back down to the chair. Magnus kissed Alec’s forehead, “Marvelous darling.”

“Now, time for you to have some real food. What are you in the mood for?” Catarina asked.

Alec mumbled, “I’m not really hungry.”

Catarina put her hands on her hips, “You have to eat to take the medicine, so what would you like?”

Magnus knelt next to Alec and looked up at him, “How about some of that Chinese food from a few blocks over?”

At Alec’s nod Magnus prepared to summon the food, then realized the patio table was much to low for Alec, and he probably wouldn’t be able to hold a plate in his right hand. Magnus looked at Alec, “Why don’t we eat in the dining room?”

Alec shrugged, and Catarina pushed the wheelchair back inside and to the table. Magnus banished the chair at the end of the table, and Catarina settled Alec in the open space. Magnus summoned the food to the table. Magnus prepared a plate for Alec, selecting a few of his favorites, then set the plate in front of Alec. Alec picked up the fork with his left hand and awkwardly tried to maneuver it to spear some food. Magnus and Catarina served themselves and sat down on either side of Alec.

They ate in silence for a time, not calling attention to Alec’s fumbling with the fork, or the increasing frustration the felt coming from him. Alec managed to eat a little, but gave up after a few tries to roll up the noodles. He sat back and waited for the others to finish. Catarina summoned a glass of water and the medicine and set them down in front of Alec. Alec popped the pills in his mouth then gulped down some water.

Magnus cleared the table while Catarina suggested Alec try moving his hand and fingers, as well as keep standing for short periods of time. She excused herself with a promise to come back tomorrow.

* * *

 

Alec had returned back to the couch to sleep, the medicine making him tired. A short period of time later he was jarred awake by another nightmare. Magnus immediately trying to soothe him. Magnus eventually succeeded, Alec’s breaths and heart beat calming.

Over the next few days Alec continues trying to stand, and using his hand. His time was split between the couch and wheelchair. He spent time outside, and in Magnus’ office finding books to read. Catarina visited daily to check his progress, which was very small, though he was able to stand for longer periods of time. 

Jace and Izzy each stopped by, they tried to interact with Alec but got minimal involvement. Jace helped Alec practice standing and transferring to the wheelchair, but Alec wouldn’t accept more help than that. 

Alec still flinched at most physical contact unless he was prepared for it. Though Jace and Izzy tried, they couldn’t hide the flickers of pity in their eyes from Alec. Which caused sadness and anger to flare in his chest. Alec swallowed it down, knowing their presence was giving Magnus some time away from him, and Magnus deserved to have a break from being his caretaker. A break from the burden that he was, a broken shell of who he used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt that it was moving too slowly, hence the overview of a few days at the end. Just to get us moving a little.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> purely Malec feels this chapter  
> Enjoy

Alec was outside in a patio chair, basking in the sun. Magnus had gone inside to get them some juice, and on his way back he paused by the balcony doors. It had been hot the last few days, so this morning Alec requested a short sleeved shirt. Magnus regretted giving in because now he found Alec fixated on his scars on his arm. He was tracing them with his fingertips.

Magnus went out and set the glasses on the patio table. Kneeling at Alec’s feet he tried to catch Alec’s eyes, “Darling?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing?”

Alec doesn’t respond, continuing to trace the twisting lined covering his forearms. Magnus reached out and grabbed hold of Alec’s hand, “Alexander.”

Alec finally looked up and started, coming out from his daze, “Magnus?”

“What were you doing?”

Alec blushed and looked away, “Nothing.”

“Look at me.”

Alec reluctantly returned his gaze to Magnus.

“It’s okay. Will you tell me what you were thinking?”

Alec took a deep breath, “Magnus…”

Magnus waited patiently, knowing Alec would continue on his own.

Alec looked up and blinked fiercely, trying to banish the tears. “I’m so weak Magnus. I’m… worthless. I’m a burden, can’t do anything on my own.” His voice became angry, “You shouldn’t be wasting your time. I’m an invalid, you deserve more than being a caretaker. What if-“ Alec paused to breathe.

Magnus was a roiling pit of so many emotions, and thoughts, “Alec you were hurt, and it wasn’t your fault. You’re healing. It’s going to take time. I love you, and I’m going to take care of you, whether you like it or not.” He tried to soften his last words with a small smile.

Alec’s voice came out small and quiet, “What if- I mean - I can’t do  _anything_ on my own. Even  _if_  I get better. I’m not a shadowhunter anymore. If I was I could use an  _iratze_  and  _not_  be an invalid. I’m a mundane now. I’m  _useless_ … What if it  _doesn’t_  get better?”

Tears were leaking down his cheeks. Magnus’ heart squeezed painfully. He reached up and wiped the tears away, “Alexander, my love. You’re mine, and I want you no matter what happens. We’re going to take it as it comes, day by day. You’re getting better, granted it slow but it’s still happening. We’ll keep going, and you’ll find something you enjoy, something new, a new purpose. Whatever it is, if it makes you happy in  _any_  way I’ll be happy. I love you.” Magnus leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Alec’s lips.

Alec looked away and angrily wiped his hand over his face. He hated how he was feeling. Magnus’ words helped somewhat, but the hole inside him was still there. Taking a deep breath he looked back at Magnus, “Thank you.”

Magnus stood up, handing a glass to Alec, he took one and sat next to Alec.

* * *

 

Able to stand, and now heavily limp along with Magnus supporting his weight, Alec wanted to be feel clean, to wash away the feeling of being dirty. 

“Magnus?”

“Yes darling?”

“I - can I - shower?”

“Of course. Now?”

Alec nodded, and waited for Magnus’ arms to surround him and help him to his feet. From there Magnus slipped under Alec’s left arm to help support his weight. Their progress was slow, but they eventually made it to the master bathroom. Alec kept his gaze downwards to avoid the mirror, he wasn’t ready to see the scars marring his skin.

Magnus helped him sit on the closed toilet, “I’ll just grab you some fresh clothes, okay?”

Alec nodded, and slowly started to unbutton his shirt with his left hand. He could move his right hand and fingers, but hadn’t been able to grasp anything smaller than a tennis ball. So he was learning to do most tasks with his left hand. When he was about half way done Magnus reappeared and set down a change of clothes on the counter. Once Alec finished unbuttoning his shirt, he paused, catching sight of the numbers scars criss crossing his abdomen. 

Magnus, noticing Alec’s pause, knelt at Alec’s feet, “Darling what’s wrong?”

Alec looked up, tears glistening in his eyes, “I don’t want you to see."

Magnus’ locks eyes with Alec and catches the self-concious worry. “Alec, I love you.”

Alec drops his gaze to his hands in his lap, then slowly looks back at Magnus, “I- I don’t like them.”

“Don’t like what?”

“The… scars.”

“Oh darling, you’re beautiful. The scars are just a mark of your strength.”

Alec looks at Magnus, confusion clear on his face.

Magnus takes Alec’s face in his hands once again, “Someone tried to break you, but you’re here and not letting them win.”

Magnus leans in slowly, and kisses Alec softly, “I love you Alexander.”

Alec takes a shaky breath and allows Magnus to help him out of his shirt. Magnus starts the water in the shower, then returns to Alec’s side. Magnus helps Alec to his feet and reaches for the waistband of his sweatpants. Magnus pauses when he feels Alec tense, “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

Alec, having squeezed his eyes shut, nods.

“Okay?” Magnus questions.

“‘Kay.” Alec braces himself for the disgust he’s sure will be on Magnus’ face once his full body is exposed. Opening his eyes, he watches Magnus. Magnus’ face open and showing care and love.

Magnus pulls down Alec’s sweatpants and boxers, helping him out of them. Standing back up Magnus presses a kiss to Alec’s lips, “Ready?”

“Yes.”

Magnus moves to Alec’s side, and slides under his left arm again. He helps Alec over and into the shower, “I’ll just wait right here in case you need me okay?”

Alec gives Magnus a weak smile as he slides the shower door closed. He takes a painful step forward into the spray and lets out a sigh. He lets the water run over his body, and leans his head into the spray at the sting he feels over his chest and low back. The water massages his tense shoulders, loosening them. He makes do with the limited movement of his right hand, and uses he left hand to gets things done. He shivers as he runs his hand over his body, feeling the raised scars all over. He finishes quickly, not wanting to feel more, and shuts the water off.

“All done?” Magnus asks, already with a towel in hand.

“Yeah.” Alec opens the shower door and takes another painful step forward. Magnus reaches out to help, but Alec had already moved.

Magnus wraps the towel around Alec’s hips, and grabs a second one off the counter, “Why don’t we sit you down, and then I’ll help you dry off?”

Alec nods, and let’s Magnus help him back to the toilet. Once sitting, Alec lets Magnus dry him thoroughly, with gentle pats. Then Magnus moves to Alec’s legs and dries them as well. Leaving the towel at Alec’s waist, Magnus grabs the fresh clothes. With Magnus’ help, Alec is dressed quickly. Magnus grabs the towel back up to attempt to dry Alec’s hair again. Satisfied with it being mostly dry, he sets the towel back down, “Shall we?”

Alec nods and reaches up, together they get Alec standing. Alec gives Magnus a faint smile, “Thank you.”

“Any time darling. Feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“What shall we do now?”

Alec yawns involuntarily.

Magnus smiles, “Nap on the couch it is then.”

* * *

 

One of the next times they make the trip to the bathroom, Alec convinces Magnus to leave him in there alone. Insisting he could handle it. Once Magnus pulls the door closed Alec steps up to the counter, takes a deep breath and raises his eyes to the mirror. A quiet gasp leaves his lips as he takes in his face and the new scar running down the side of his face, pulling at his eye. How could Magnus even look at him?

Unable to stop there, Alec grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it all the way up. His eyes trace the numerous pink scars from his hips upwards. He can see part of his chest would, angry red and puckered. He pulls the shirt higher and he can see Aldertree’s brand, standing out stark against his skin.

The shirt drops as his breath quickens and panic seizes hold of him, his left hand braces him against the counter. How can Magnus look at him? Love him? He was disgusting, almost all of his body now marked. Where the runes were removed the skin looks like he was burned. He was untouchable now, undesirable. The panic increases, and Alec can no longer keep his feet. He falls to the floor, letting out a sharp cry as his body hits the floor and his back hits the tub. 

Distracted he doesn’t notice Magnus flinging the door open and rushing to his side. He doesn’t feel the hands cradling his face, and checking his face. Magnus calls Alec’s name, and after a few times, Alec finally hears him faintly.

Magnus helps slow his breathing, and gathers Alec into his arms. Alec calms, but as he does he breaks. Completely down the middle. All the anger, pain and grief explode out of his chest and he screams into Magnus’ shirt. He fists his hand in Magnus’ shirt and pull it then forces his hand, lightly thumping Magnus’ chest. Magnus tightens his hold on Alec, trying to calm him, whispering soothing words.

It takes a long time for Alec to finally wind down, quieting down to sobbing hiccups and weak fist in Magnus’ shirt. A large wet spot on his shirt from tears spent. Alec calms further and the world quiets, just Alec’s harsh breaths and Magnus’ murmurs making noise. Magnus rocks Alec softly, and waits until Alec’s breaths slow further.

Magnus leans back to look down at Alec, and cradles Alec’s face with one hand. Alec looks up at Magnus with pain in his eyes.

“No more hiding Alexander.” Magnus blinks and lets his glamour fall, exposing his cat eyes.

“No more?” Alec hitches out on a breath, longing filling his gaze.

“No more.” Magnus pulls Alec into his arms and presses a soft kiss to Alec’s lips.

Alec sighs, “Okay."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so final scene of last chapter was something I was so proud of. Now I'm concerned I've ruined myself, there's no way I'm going to match that...

Alec feels like he has shattered into an immeasurable amount of pieces, all raw edges. Pieces are sifting through Magnus’ arms, clattering to the floor. Alec raises his gaze back to Magnus’ cat eyes. He reaches a hand to Magnus’ face and runs his fingertips under one of Magnus’ eyes. He breathes out softly, “Beautiful.”

Magnus brings up a hand to grasp Alec’s, “You as well darling.”

Alec closes his eyes for a few moments, and is overcome with the rawness inside. He quickly opens them, latching on to Magnus’ gaze which settles the roiling inside him.

Magnus leans their foreheads together and Alec melts further into his embrace. Here he can break, he can shatter. Here he is safe, wanted. Here there is a flickering of hope. Right here.

Alec’s leg throbs, reminding him of where they are. Magnus catches Alec’s wince, “How about we move somewhere more comfortable than this cold, hard tile?”

Alec nods, and slowly they get to their feet. Alec stumbles, too exhausted to take his own weight. Magnus lifts him easily, and carries him back out to the living room. Magnus helps him onto the couch then sits next to Alec, who is easily convinced to lay down, his head in Magnus’ lap. Magnus’ fingers start to idly run through Alec’s hair.

Alec falls asleep while Magnus hums a melody, massaging his scalp.

* * *

 

Magnus finally convinces Alec to sleep in the bed that night. Alec feels too raw, too exposed to be by himself. He still hesitates in the bedroom after having changed to pajamas. He looks at the sheets, then at Magnus.

Magnus sees Alec’s wariness and climbs on the bed to kneel in front of Alec, “What is it darling?”

Alec averts his gaze for a few moments, before looking back, “Are you - sure? - I don’t -“

Understanding dawns on Magnus, “Yes Alexander. I want you here, back in my arms.”

Alec fusses with the arms of his pajama top, trying to pull the sleeves down further. Magnus reaches out and stills Alec’s hands, “Come on darling.” He pulls back the covers and slowly sits back, pulling Alec after him. Magnus ends half sitting up, propped up by pillows, with Alec along his side, Alec’s head resting on his chest. Alec’s hand comes to rest in the center of Magnus’ chest, and Alec flattens it out, feeling the comforting beat of Magnus’ heart.

Noting that Alec is still holding himself tense, Magnus runs his hand down Alec’s back, tracing random shapes along the way. He hums a melody and magics the covers up and over the both of them. He continues humming and slowly Alec relaxes against his side. He smiles when he hears Alec’s light snores start.

_Baby steps_ , as the mundanes say.  _Baby steps_.

* * *

 

Alec jolts awake, a red haze lingering on the back of his eyelids, Aldertree’s fading whispers in his ears. He opens his eyes wide, his heart pudding loudly in his chest. Finding himself snuggled against Magnus’ side, he presses closer. He turns his head and takes a deep breath of Magnus’ comforting scent. After a few breaths he rests his cheek against Magnus’ chest, hearing Magnus’ calm heart beat. He brings his hand up to Magnus’ sternum and rests it there, trying to slow his heart down to match Magnus’.

Magnus wakes with Alec’s movement, he glances down and sees Alec awake, “Are you okay darling?”

Alec takes a steadying breath, “I’m okay.” Though it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.

Magnus rolls over and takes Alec into both his arms, “It’s okay. It was just a dream.” He rubs Alec’s back, “You’re safe here with me.”

Alec nods against Magnus’ chest and sighs, “I know.” Inwardly he has Magnus’ words on loop,  _It was just a dream_.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Alec shakes his head, “No - not yet.”

“Okay.”

Alec settles himself against Magnus again. He looks up to find cat eyes gleaming in the darkness, and he calms.  _No more hiding_.

Magnus’ brings a hand up and runs it through Alec’s hair. Alec turns into the touch, his body relaxing further. His closes his eyes and focuses on Magnus’ presence. Magnus whispers into the darkness, “I love you Alexander.”

Alec gives a faint smile at the words, “I love you too.”

They lay there, Magnus rubbing Alec’s back with one hand, the other running through Alec’s hair. Eventually they both fall back asleep

* * *

 

Alec wakes slowly, no nightmare forcing him to consciousness. He hears Magnus’ murmurs from another room. He blinks his eyes open and confirms he is alone in the bedroom. He feels raw, exposed.

Magnus walks in, his phone in hand. Looking up he sees Alec, awake, “Hi there darling.”

Alec mutters, “Hi.”

“I was just talking to Jace. He wanted to come see you? Clary has some mundane games she could bring for the group to play. Though Jace says if you’re not ready for that he can come by himself.”

Alec shrugs, averting his gaze.

Magnus gently takes Alec’s chin into his hand and turns Alec’s face towards his, “No hiding remember? However you’re feeling, whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay.”

“I don’t - not now - I feel - I can’t - not right now.”

Magnus gives Alec’s chin a gentle squeeze, “That’s completely acceptable. I’ll let him know not today. Maybe tell him we’ll let him know?”

Alec looks back up to Magnus’ eyes, “Yeah - that sounds okay.”

Magnus nods and withdraws his hand. He shoots off a text to Jace, then sets his phone on the nightstand and kneels next to Alec. “Breakfast?”

Alec’s stomach answers for him, rumbling. Magnus smiles, and hovers while Alec sits up. He takes Alec’s arms and help him stand. Then he slips under Alec’s arm and they make their way to the dining room.

After breakfast, Magnus helps Alec to the couch. Putting their feet up on the coffee table, Magnus looks down at Alec, “Shall we see if there’s something interesting on?”

Alec shrugs, “Sure.”

Alec snuggles himself under Magnus’ arm, resting his head on Magnus’ arm. Magnus summons the remote into his free hand.

Then Magnus introduces Alec to The Food Network and Animal Planet, and he understands mundane’s fascination with TV, welcoming the distraction.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote, a LOT today, so that means you get TWO chapters today.

Now able to walk slowly, but with a very heavy limp, Alec is thankful he is able to be more independent. He can maneuver around the entire loft, with pauses, but still better than depending on others to move.

Alec is still raw, in pieces. Though he feels like the pieces are slowly being put back together, even if the edges no longer match up perfectly. Magnus is helping to patch up the gaps, always there if he cracks into different pieces.

* * *

 

Alec jerks awake from yet another nightmare. Magnus already awake and asking him if he’s okay. Alec feels the tear tracks and his heart pounding. He shakes his head, he’s not okay. The feeling of despair and pain is still rearing it’s ugly head in his chest.

“What can I do darling?”

Alec stutters in a breath, “He - he won’t - be quiet.”

“Who?”

“Aldertree.” Alec says, barely audible. He blinks and fresh tears leak from his eyes.

“What’s he saying?”

Alec takes a moment to try and control the sadness threatening his voice. He speaks around hitching breaths, trying not to cry, “I - I deserve - what he did. - He took - away - my life. - I’m a - burden. - Can’t do - anything - I used - to do.” A sob escapes his chest.

“Oh Alexander.” Magnus hugs him close with one arm, the other hand cradling his face. “You didn’t deserve anything. The Inquisitor just wanted to make an example, and unfortunately it was you.”

Alec squeezes his eyes shut, forcing more tears out.

“My angel, you’re getting better. Who knows what you’ll be able to do once you’re healed? And even if you can’t be Shadowhunter anymore, you’ll find something that gives you purpose, gives you joy. I promise.”

Alec flinches at the word Shadowhunter, it rubs against his raw nerves and causes the despair to flare briefly. 

“I don’t - know how - to do - anything else. - I can’t - even really  _walk_ \- You can’t - do  _anything_  - other than take - care of me. - You have a life - and can’t - live it - because of me.”

“Darling, you are my life. You aren’t holding me back in  _any_  way. You’re getting better Alec. You have to give it time -“

Alec interrupts in a harsh tone, “Because I’m - a  _mundane_.” He says it with disgust thick in his voice.

“That’s not all you are Alexander. You’re still you, just different.”

“Why are you still here?” Alec asks, vulnerability in his question.

“Because I love you.”

“How can you still? - I’m broken - my body.. “ Alec trails off, unable to find words.

“I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Your scars just show how strong you are. You came back to me, and I’m so grateful for that.”

Alec stays quiet, his hitching breaths slowing. Magnus slowly wipes tears from Alec’s face, “Healing takes time. I’m here and we’ll see it through together.” He leans in and presses a kiss to Alec’s lips.

* * *

 

“Jace and Izzy both called to see how you’re doing.” Magnus says from the armchair.

Alec looks up from the book in his lap. Quietly he asks, “Yeah?”

“Yes. They want to see you.”

Alec rubs his fingers together nervously, looks out the window, “I don’t know if I’m ready.” He hunches his shoulders, guilt crawling in his belly.

“Alexander, that’s perfectly okay. They can wait. They love you.”

“It’s just -“ He looks back at Magnus, “It’s just - they’re Shadowhunters, and I’m - not. - What would we talk about?”

“They’re not just Shadowhunters. You can talk about what you’ve been doing, if they’ve met new people, ask how Max is.”

Alec frowns, anger in his eyes, “Oh really? What do I say? Well, I’ve just started limping around. The meds keep the pain manageable. I can’t even think of seeing people without having a panic attack, let alone go out. I keep Magnus from doing anything since I’ve become so dependent on him, so he’s basically become my care taker. Oh and Max? Ask what he was told about me? That I’m dead? Or that I’m a disgrace? I’m not stupid Magnus, my mother would have disowned me the moment this happened.” His chest heaves from his rant. As quickly as the anger came, it vanishes and leaves hurt behind.

Magnus gets up and comes to Alec’s side. He sits and places a hand on Alec’s shoulder. He watches as Alec blinks away tears, can read the frustration and hurt on his face. Alec looks away and rubs at his face roughly.

Alec takes a deep breath, then hangs his head, “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Anger is a valid emotion. Understandable.”

Alec sighs, “I just - I don’t know Magnus. - I don’t want them to see me like this.”

“They won’t judge you Alexander, they love you. They just want you to be okay, be happy again.”

Alec scoffs, “Happy with what? This - this  _shell_  of a person I’ve become?”

“I know you’re not happy now. That you just have moments here or there. But they’ll get more frequent, and last longer. We’ll figure this out, together.”

Alec nods dejectedly. Then his resolve hardens, “Okay. I’ll see them. But - not for very long. I don’t think I can handle that.”

“A short visit, that’s just fine. When should I tell them?”

“Tonight. Get it over with.”

“Ok. I’ll text Jace.”

* * *

 

A bundle of anxiety, Alec stands once again, rubbing his palms on his pants, “Magnus?”

Magnus looks up, his cat eyes flashing in the fading light, “Yes darling?”

Alec bites his lip, “I can’t - this was a bad idea.”

Magnus moves to Alec’s side, “You can do this.” He takes Alec’s trembling hands into his own. “It’s just for a little while. I’ll be right here.”

“Can the - no hiding thing - be just between us?” Alec looks down a their hands, “I don’t want - and you don’t like to show your cat eyes. - can we just - I don’t want them to know everything.”

“Alexander, you don’t have to share everything. This is just to see them, for all of you to see each other, maybe talk for a bit. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. As for my eyes, we made a deal. Here at home we don’t hide from each other.”

Alec nods and takes a deep breath, “Okay.”

Magnus feels a shift in his wards a few moments before a knock on the door. He looks at Alec, “Ready?”

Alec’s eyes are wide with panic and looking at the door. He squeezes them shut and takes a few deep breaths, then opens them again, “Okay.”

Magnus releases Alec’s hands and goes to open the door. He opens it, welcoming Jace and Izzy, who both pause in their greeting upon seeing Magnus’ cat eyes. They hadn’t seen them before. Magnus shuts the door behind them.

“Where’s Alec?” Jace asks.

“How’s he doing?” Izzy reaches out for Magnus’ arm.

“He in the living room and he has his moments.” Magnus turns and leads them through the hallway into the living room.

Alec tenses when they enter, still on his feet. 

“Alec!” Izzy cries and approaches. She reaches out her arms to hug him and he tries to hide his flinch. Izzy squeezes him tight. “Oh big brother I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you to Iz.” Alec whispers into her hair.

Izzy pulls back and looks up at him, “How are you?”

Alec glances away for a moment, “I’m o-okay, I guess.”

Izzy doesn’t look convinced, and Alec sees the flash of pity in her gaze.

“Iz, it’s my turn.” Jace says from behind her. Izzy steps out of the way. Jace takes Alec’s hand, gives it a squeeze, then leans in for a one-armed hug. Alec flinches again, but returns the hug.

“I’ve missed you Alec.” Jace pulls back and puts his free hand to Alec’s cheek. “I’m so glad to see you.” He withdraws his hand, the other squeezing Alec’s hand before releasing.

“Me too Jace.” Alec says, pulling his trembling hands to his sides.

“Drinks anyone?” Magnus inquires.

At the nods, he pours drinks for everyone. Just juice for Alec, no alcohol for him. Everyone settles into chairs, Magnus at Alec’s side on the couch. Alec grips Magnus’ free hand with his, an anchor in the panic threatening to take over.

Izzy’s nails clink against her glass, “How’re you healing? Everything going okay?”

Alec nods, “It’s slow, but I’m healing.” He pauses and toys with Magnus’ rings, then continues, “I can walk now - sort of.”

Jace and Izzy’s faces light up. Jace leans forward, “That’s great Alec! When you’re up for it we should go for a walk, visit the bakery you like, or stop by Taki’s.”

Alec forces a small smile, “Maybe.”

Jace deflates a little at Alec’s hesitation. Izzy jumps in, “What have you been doing to pass the time?”

“I’ve uh- been reading a lot. And Magnus showed me a few channels on the TV. One is for cooking.”

Jace sips his drink, “You like cooking, maybe you’ll try something? You’re much better than Izzy.”

Izzy reaches out and smacks Jace’s knee, “Hey!”

Alec huffs a laugh, “Yeah, but it’s not hard to be better than Izzy.”

Izzy gasps in indignation, “You too?! Don’t gang up on me.” She pouts.

Alec feels a small smile on his face, unforced. 

“What else?” Jace prompts.

“I’ve been reading a lot. Magnus has a lot of books.” Alec is still toying with Magnus’ rings, twisting them. Magnus watches this out of the corner of his eye, warmth growing in his chest. He’s glad he can provide his love with comfort and some calm.

“And, um, what about you two?" Alec questions.

They pause, trying to think of something unrelated to the Institute. Izzy straightens when she finds a topic, “I’ve broken up with Meliorn. We just weren’t working out.”

“I’m sorry Iz.” Alec says.

Jace fiddles with his glass, “Clary found some games and movies she’d like to bring over. For you to watch, and maybe if the group of us get together we could try out the mundane games.”

Alec nods, the anxiety slowly starting to constrict his chest, “Clary, how is she?”

“Still goes her own way, regardless of rules.” Jace smirks. “But she’s getting a bit better about it.”

Izzy runs her hand through her hair and takes a deep breath, “Max asks about you.”

Alec’s panic spikes, his chest constricting, making it hard to breathe. He squeezes Magnus’ hand, hard. He forces out the word, “Yeah?”

Izzy looks down at her glass, “He wants to know where you are and to see you.”

Jace notices Alec’s tension and holds a hand out to Izzy, indicating she should stop. “Let’s not talk about that right now.”

Izzy looks up at Alec and jolts, “Oh I’m sorry big brother. I didn’t even think.”

Alec’s gaze is locked on Magnus’ hand in his, feeling the rings indenting his skin. He moves to stand, Magnus standing to help pull him to his feet. Alec sets his glass down, “Please excuse me.” He then makes his way out of the room, limping heavily.

Once Alec is out of the room Jace hisses, “Izzy! Why’d you do that?”

Izzy’s eyes are wide and worried, “I didn’t think, I thought he’d want to hear about Max.”

Magnus turns back to them, “Just give him a little bit.”

Jace sets his glass down, and rests his elbows on his knees, “How is he? The pain? Is he sleeping much?”

Izzy comments, “He looks tired, and thin.”

Magnus glances to the doorway through which Alec exited, “He hasn’t been sleeping well. Catarina gave us some medicine for the pain, but it effects his appetite. But he’s doing okay, as well can be expected, I guess.”

After a minutes of awkward silence, Magnus excuses himself and sets off in search of Alec.

Magnus finds him in the bedroom, tucked against the wall in the corner. Knees tucked against his chest, arms around them, head resting against them.

“Darling?” Magnus kneels at Alec’s side.

Alec’s voice is muffled, “I can’t go back out there.”

Magnus rests a hand on Alec’s arm, “I’ll tell them you’re tired.”

Alec nods against his knees and Magnus rises to his feet, “I’ll be right back.”

* * *

 

After he says goodbye to Izzy and Jace, Magnus returns to the bedroom and takes a seat next to Alec. They sit in silence for awhile, just soaking up each other’s presence. 

Alec turns his head towards Magnus and finds Magnus’ cat eyes with his own gaze, “Magnus…”

Magnus reaches out his arm and circles it around Alec’s shoulders. He starts rubbing circles into Alec’s skin with his thumb, “Yes angel?”

Alec closes his eyes, his voice barely a whisper, “Aldertree - he  _hurt_  me.”

Magnus pulls Alec’s a little more into his side. He stays quiet, knowing Alec would share at his own pace.

“He called it fun - but - he had knives Magnus - and - and a brand.”

Magnus swallows down the rage surging inside of him.

“The guards - they took my clothes - and strapped me into this - chair. - Even my jaw. - I couldn’t move.”

Magnus’ thumb continues it’s soothing circles.

“Aldertree had a basin of demon blood - and - dipped the knives in there - before - before he cut me. -  It wasn’t that bad - at first - it was just a shallow cut - but he slowly got deeper and deeper. - He started on his chest and stomach - then my arms and legs - then my face - blood got in my eye - I tried so hard not to make a sound - so hard.”

Alec’s breath hitches, and he tries to breathe through the fear and remembered pain, “Then - then he used - the agony rune.”

Magnus gasps, he’s heard of the extreme pain that the rune ignites.

“I could taste blood - and I must have screamed - Aldertree was smiling. - He picked a new knife - and  he thought about removing a rune - but decided to leave that - to the Silent Brothers. - So he put the knife here,” Alec touches his sternum, “And he sliced over, down, and back. - Then he - sawed the knife - and peeled the skin off. - I think I - passed out - at that point.”

Alec opens his eyes again, turning his head to see Magnus still looking at him, pain in his eyes. Alec feels something wet on his face, and wipes at it with his hand. He realizes it’s tears, he is crying.

“Aldertree - he - woke me up. - Didn’t want to waste time. - I told him to do his worst.” A pained laugh escaped his lips, “He took another knife - and he.” Alec lifts his right hand and touches the scar on his wrist, “He put it right here - pushed in - then sliced - I heard a loud snap - and I tried to move my hand - I couldn’t.”

Magnus pulls Alec into his lap, resting Alec’s head against his shoulder, his arms around his angel. Alec turns his face into Magnus’ neck.

“When I woke up again - he took the back off the chair - then he stabbed me in the back - and when it was all the way in - he  _twisted_ it - twice - then pulled it out - I couldn’t move anymore.”

Magnus hugs Alec closer to him, his heart thundering in his chest, alternating between grief and rage.

“Then he said - time for another agony rune - and I begged - Magnus - I  _begged_  - for him not to do it. - But he didn’t - didn’t listen."

After a few moments of silence, Alec continues, “Next he brought out - his brand - it was burning hot - the metal - was bright orange - and he - he just  _pressed_  it into my chest. - I could smell my skin burning. - I screamed. - and then - then he was done - but it wasn’t over.”

Alec wipes his face again and takes a tired breath, “They took me to another room - to be de-runed - the pain - when they removed the runes - it hurt - but I no voice anymore. - The parabatai rune was last - and I tried to fight - I _tried_ Magnus - I tried to fight. - I felt it - as the bond became - weaker - and  it broke.”

Quiet sobs break from Alec’s chest and Magnus shushes him gently, rocking ever so slightly.

“Mags - I tried - I  _tried_  - but I lost him - I lost Jace.”

Unable to keep the tears at bay any longer, they escape, wetting Magnus’ cheeks. Such pain Alec went through. So much pain.

Magnus holds Alec close for quite awhile until his tears were spent once again. Magnus gently gets them both to their feet, and into bed. Magnus lays down, and Alec immediately curls into him. Magnus kisses Alec’s forehead, and whispers, “I love you.” to his sleeping angel.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Had a job scare. I'm going back to school end of next month, and need to go part-time at work, and instead of what we had discussed, they wanted me to work as a fill-in (no guaranteed hours or benefits). Thankfully once I told them that if that was only option, then I'd have to look for a new job, they offered me part-time. So now that that's all settled, I have time to write again rather than stress.

Magnus wakes to an empty bed, the room still dark. He looks around the bedroom, then listens, maybe Alec is in the bathroom? No running water. He gets out of bed and pulls on some sweats. He pads softly down the hall, checks the kitchen, empty, and continues to the living room. He finds Alec curled into himself on the end of the couch. Being so tall, Magnus is surprised at how small Alec looks in this moment. 

“Alec?” He says, wondering if Alec is awake. He kneels at Alec’s side. 

Alec’s eyes open. Magnus’ brow creases in worry. Alec has deep, dark smudges under his eyes, his skin almost gray. His eyes sunken.

“Why are you out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Nightmares?”

Alec sighs and nods his head, “Didn’t want to wake you.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. Come back to bed. You need to rest.”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“You need to.”

“I just go back there. I don’t want to go back there anymore.”

“I’ll stay with you, you’ll be safe.”

Alec looks down, debating, “O-okay.”

Magnus helps him to his feet. Alec stumbles, too exhausted to focus on moving. Magnus slides under Alec’s arm, and helps him return to the bedroom. They settle in the middle of the bed. Magnus on his back, Alec against his side, Alec’s head on his chest over his heart. Alec focuses on Magnus’ heart beat, trying to convince himself that maybe this time he’ll sleep. Magnus rubs Alec’s back, trying to soothe him to sleep.

Alec whispers, “Wake me if I have one?”

“Of course darling.” Magnus kisses Alec’s hair.

It takes quite awhile for Alec to fall asleep, still scared. Magnus’ worry eases slightly once Alec’s soft snores reach his ears. He’d have to talk to Catarina in the morning, maybe she knew something that’d help Alec sleep without the nightmares. With his angel at his side, Magnus dozes while Alec sleeps.

* * *

 

The peace lasts until early morning when Alec begins to struggle in his sleep, hurt noises escaping his lips. Magnus hugs Alec close and calls Alec’s name. He has to repeat a number of times, getting louder each time, before Alec jerks awake.

“It’s okay darling. It was just a dream. I’m here. You’re here with me.”

Alec focuses on Magnus’ voice as he tries to calm his heart beat. He lifts his gaze to Magnus’ eyes, and feels better seeing the golden cat eyes looking at him. Panic fades and exhaustion takes over. He’s so tired, his body heavy.

Magnus rubs Alec’s back and arm, “I’m going to talk to Catarina. She might have something to help you sleep better.”

* * *

 

Catarina arrives shortly after Magnus’ call. She finds them on the couch. Alec curled at one end of the couch. Magnus sitting close, watching Alec with concern in his eyes. Magnus looks up when Catarina clears her throat. 

Magnus stands and embraces her, “Thank you for coming.”

“Magnus, anything for you and Alec. You’re family.” She pats Magnus’ cheek. “Now lets see what I can do for Alec.” She sets down the vials she is carrying. She kneels next to Alec and gets a good look at his face. She frowns in concern. “Alec?”

Alec opens his eyes slowly and rasps, “Hi.”

“I’ve heard you aren’t sleeping much?”

Alec takes a moment to process her question, his brain running on fumes due to lack of sleep, “No… Nightmares.”

Catarina pats his arm, “I brought some things to help you sleep, hopefully without dreams. You don’t look well, is it alright if I scan you?”

Alec nods. Catarina gets to her feet and holds her hands over Alec and begins to scan him. She begins trying to heal him, give him some energy. As the magic settles in, Alec jolts and leans off the couch and retches.

“Alexander!” Magnus shouts. He magics away the mess and kneels at Alec’s side. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

Catarina frowns and tries to heal Alec one more time. Again, once the magic touches Alec’s system, he retches again. Magnus looks up at Catarina, concerned.

“I think his system is unable to tolerate magic. It could just be because of how weak he is, we can test it once he’s better. But for now, we’ll need to steer clear of trying to put magic in his system.”

Magnus’ widen, “How is this possible?”

Catarina shakes her head ruefully, “It happens sometimes with mundanes. They’re intolerant of magic.”

“But he isn’t a mundane!”

Alec voice sounds weakly from the couch, “I am now.”

Magnus glances down, and reaches out a hand to run through Alec’s hair. Looking back up at Catarina, he pleads with his eyes, “What about helping him sleep?”

Catarina picks up one vial, “I did bring one that is all natural with almost no magic. We can try this one and see if it helps.”

Magnus lets out the breath he’d been holding. “Okay. We can do that, right Alexander?”

Alec nods.

“Lets get you to bed first, then you can try the potion and sleep.”

Alec tries to sit up but his arms buckle. Magnus catches him, and lifts him into his arms. Alec makes a disgruntled sound, but is too tired to argue. They all head to the bedroom and Magnus sits Alec on the bed, pulling the covers over his legs. Catarina hands the potion to Magnus, who helps Alec drink it. He helps Alec lay down, and within moments Alec is asleep.

Catarina takes the vial back, “This should help him sleep as much as his body needs. It could be awhile.”

Magnus nods, and they leave the room, returning to the living room. Magnus serves them each a drink, non-alcoholic for once. Catarina eyes her drink suspiciously after sipping it, and looks at Magnus. He is gazing into space, a wrinkle in his brow, a frown on his face.

“Magnus.” Catarina calls.

Magnus straightens and looks at Catarina, “Sorry. Lost in thought for a moment.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

“What if he really is intolerant of magic? What if he gets hurt or sick? I won’t be able to help him.” Magnus swirls his drink in the glass.

“We’ll have to wait and see and go from there. Nothing we can do about it right now. And I’m sure we can all keep Alec safe.”

“Is it wrong that I want to keep him here in the wards, away from the outside?” Magnus glances in the direction of the bedroom.

“I think that’s a perfectly understandable thought. Not realistic though. Eventually he’ll need to go outside of the wards. He’ll start to feel trapped otherwise. Though I do think it’ll be awhile before he’s ready to venture out.”

Magnus nods, “I just want him safe.”

* * *

 

Alec wakes to sunlight filtering through the drapes. He snuggles further under the blankets for a moment, blinking his eyes to focus. He pulls back the sheets and got to his feet, then shuffles to the bathroom. After using it, he washes his hands and looks in the mirror. The dark smudges under his eyes are almost gone, and his skin is pale again, no gray undertone. He does feel refreshed and is thankful he’s awake on his own, not due to a nightmare. With his wet hands, he tries to flatten his hair a little bit, combing his fingers through it. 

He makes his way out to the living room and kitchen, hearing soft voices. He rounds the corner to see Catarina, Jace and Magnus. He nods in response to their greetings and sits himself next to Magnus, who lifts his arm and Alec settles beneath it, his head on Magnus’ shoulder. Alec closes his eyes and just breaths, feeling much better than the last few days.

“How did you sleep darling?” Magnus asks.

“Hmmmm.” Alec hums back. 

He hears a soft laugh, then Catarina speaks up, “I’m glad you slept well. You needed it.”

Jace’s voice comes next, “I don’t think he’s totally awake yet.”

Alec feels Magnus chuckle, “No, I don’t think he is.”

Magnus begins to trace designs on Alec’s arm, though his fingertips stutter in their movement when they hit raised skin. It takes a few moments for Alec to think of the word, _scars_. At that Alec tenses and shrugs Magnus’ hand away. He sits up and runs his hands over his face and through his hair.

Mumbling into his hands, he asks, “How long was I asleep?” He rubs his face once more, then looks up.

He feels Magnus’ hand come to rest on his back, “A day and a half.”

Alec’s eyes widen slightly, he hadn’t thought he’d slept that much.

Catarina catches his reaction, “Alec, you were exhausted, your body was weak. You needed sleep badly.”

Alec nods and looks at his hands.

“Alec?” Jace says, getting his attention. When Alec looks up, Jace takes something out of his pocket then sets it on the coffee table in front of Alec. Jace continues, “Magnus and I got you a new phone. All of our numbers are in there. So you can call or text us whenever you want.”

Alec gingerly reaches out and picks up the phone. He hadn’t even thought about having a phone since before he was de-runed. 

“Thank you.” He flicks through the screens to the contacts and sees that everyone’s number is indeed there. He turns the phone off and sets it back on the coffee table.

“I haven’t told Izzy, but I’m sure once she knows she’ll text you constantly. You know how she is.”

Alec gives Jace a fond smile, “Yeah, I know.”

“As for me, you know I’ll be checking in, but it’s impossible to get tired of me.” Jace smirks, then he adds seriously, “You can talk to me whenever you need or want to Alec.”

They lock gazes for a moment and Alec nods. He rubs his fingers together, anxiety creeping in his veins. Jace rises to his feet, “I need to get back, but I’m glad you’re awake.” He leans over the coffee table and embraces Alec who returns it hesitantly. Pulling away, Jace nods good bye to Magnus and Catarina before heading out.

Catarina is the next to go, leaving instructions to wait on using another potion for a few nights, they can’t be taken to closely together. Magnus and Alec both confirm they understand and get hugged by her.

Once they’re alone, Alec relaxes back against Magnus, gazing at his phone. He wouldn’t mind being in touch with them, but at the same time, what would he talk to them about? 

Magnus rubs Alec’s arm and rests his cheek on Alec’s head. They stay in comfortable silence for quite awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.  
> Anyone have things they are wondering about or a scene they want to see? Just to get ideas of things to include/address.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who commented, special thanks to those of you who've been commenting more. It makes me smile, a LOT. :)
> 
> PentaholicOperaStarr - your suggestion will come up in the next chapter or two. Found the perfect place for it.

Alec steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his hips. He grabs a second one, drying his hair, then starts patting his chest dry. He is gentle while drying his large chest wound. It was scabbed over and healing, dead skin flaking. The towel catches the edge of one pulls the thin, fresh skin off. Alec winces at the sting. He forces himself to look in the mirror to see how much came off. It ends up the size of the end of his thumb. He looks away from the mirror before proceeding to dry the rest of himself. He debates about bandaging the exposed area, but decides it’s not needed. It’s not very large, and is no longer bleeding. He dresses and exits the bathroom.

As he passes the office he hears Magnus’ voice inside. He continues to the kitchen and finds waffles and various toppings laid out on the counter. He smiles fondly, his warlock had already taken care of breakfast. He serves himself a large waffle, and grabs some fruit to top it. He finds a pitcher of juice waiting next to the food. He fills a glass, then takes his breakfast to the table.

While he eats he practices gripping and holding the glass with his right hand. He still had a ways to go to be able to hold smaller items, but he was making progress. 

Half way through his waffle, Magnus joins him. They exchange smiles and Magnus drops a kiss on Alec’s lips. 

“How’re the waffles?” Magnus inquires, getting a plate for himself. He returns and sits down at Alec’s side.

His mouth full, Alec just hums happily.

Magnus chuckles and sneaks another kiss, “I’m glad you have an appetite this morning.”

Alec looks into golden cat eyes and his chest fills with love, “I love you.”

Magnus smiles wide, “I love you too darling.”

They finish eating in silence, just enjoying each other’s company and the food. Once done, Magnus magics away the dishes and food, then turns to Alec, “Shall we read on the balcony? It’s quite nice outside.”

Alec glances outside to see the sun shining, then nods at Magnus. They each gather a book and head to the patio furniture. Magnus sits at the end of the couch, and motions for Alec to lay down. Alec lays his head in Magnus’ lap, his legs resting on the opposite arm of the couch. They each open their book and read, enjoying the sun.

* * *

 

Alec wakes, and squints into the sunlight. Magnus quickly uses his book to shade Alec’s face, “Too bright darling?”

“Just a little.”

Alec turns his head and tries to stretch his neck, his hands find the book where it had fallen on his chest. “Sorry I fell asleep.”

“I’m just glad you could sleep.”

Alec sets the book to the side and sits up. He rubs his neck, sore from how he slept. He feels Magnus’ hand push his out of the way, and start massaging his neck. Alec lets out a moan as his tense muscles are kneaded by Magnus.

“How’s that?” Magnus asks.

Alec drops his head forward, giving Magnus full access to his neck. Magnus continues rubbing the area and the discomfort disappears. Alec sighs and Magnus removes his hands. Alec glances back at him, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” Magnus takes Alec’s hand in his own and gives a light squeeze.

They both lift their head up when they hear a phone go off inside the loft. Magnus pats his vest pocket, “Mine’s right here. Must be yours.”

Alec nods and gets to his feet. Magnus follows him inside where they find Alec’s phone on the coffee table where it had been left that morning. Alec picks it up and unlocks the screen.

Izzy: _Good morning big brother!_

Alec smiles a little and responds: _Good morning Iz_.

Izzy: _What are you doing today_?

Alec: _Nothing right now_.

Izzy: _Simon and Clary picked out some movies for you to see. We’ll have to bring them by_.

Alec rolls his eyes, he’d never really watched a movie until the last few days with Magnus. Alec: _Okay_.

Izzy: _Have to go. Love you!_

Alec: _Love you too_.

He clicked the screen off. He turned to Magnus, “Just Izzy.”

Magnus patted his arm, “Everything okay?”

Alec set the phone back on the coffee table, “Yeah, just saying hi.”

Magnus smiled, “She found out about your new phone pretty quick.”

Alec’s lips tip upwards, “Jace didn’t have a chance of keeping something like this from her.”

Magnus nods and puts his arms around Alec’s waist. Alec’s body tries to tense, but he takes a deep breath and releases it. He puts his hands on Magnus’ shoulders. They rest their foreheads together for a moment.

Pulling back, Magnus questions, “What are you in the mood for now?”

Alec shrugs, “Do you have anything you need to do?”

“I do need to look up a few spells for a friend. They called this morning inquiring about a few things.”

“Then let’s go to the office. You can do your warlock thing, and I can read some more.” Alec waves his hand to emphasize ‘thing’. Magnus laughs, then they turn and head to the office.

* * *

 

“Magnus? Alec asks, picking at his pants.

“Hmm?”

“You should start seeing clients again.”

Magnus marks the page he’d been reading and shuts the book, “Clients?” He leans forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees.

Alec looks up, “Yes, clients.”

“I don’t need to see clients darling. I assure you I have more than enough stashed away to keep us happy for a number of centuries.”

Alec huffs and rolls his eyes, “I’m not saying that. I just…” He looks out the window at the darkening sky. “I’d like you to have something to do…” He cuts off Magnus’ response with a wave of his hand, “To do… apart from me. Something for yourself.”

“Alexander, I enjoy our time together-“

Alec frowns, “I’m not saying you don’t… I just want - for you to - to have something on your own, by yourself… I don’t want to take up all your times anymore. I’m - I’m getting better… I can walk now, kind of…” He trails off, looking away.

Magnus leans back and crosses his legs, but doesn’t say anything.

Alec looks up and rubs his fingers together, “I want us to go back to a form of ‘normal’… I know I can’t. But… I’ll find something… eventually. Like you said.” His eyes lock with Magnus’ pleading with him to understand.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll start seeing clients. But it’ll just be one or two a day, just here in the office for now.”

Alec heaves a sigh, “Okay. I’ll stay out of your way. I promise.”

“Darling, you don’t have to stay out of the way. Ever.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to… to see people… I’ll just hang out here in the living room or something.”

Magnus nods, understanding Alec’s hesitance, “I’ll let you know when they’re coming so you know ahead of time, alright?”

“‘Kay.”

“Have you thought about what you’d like to do now?”

Alec rubs his fingers together, “Not really… It depends on how well I can move.”

“Some things do.”

“Maybe once I have a better idea… of limitations.”

“We could always find something for the time being and change when you want. You don’t have to decide on one thing for the rest of your life. You can change your mind and try new things.”

Alec shrugs, “Yeah.”

Magnus nods, “Now, I recorded the new episode of the show you like on the food network. Shall we watch it?”

“Really?” Alec’s face lights up, “Yes please.”

Magnus smiles and stands. He walks around the coffee table and sits down next to Alec. He lifts up his arm and Alec immediately settles under it, his head resting on Magnus’ chest.

* * *

 

The next morning, exiting the bathroom after his shower, Alec finds Magnus sitting in front of the vanity, an array of nail polishes in front of him. Alec sits at Magnus’ side on the bench, “Mags?”

Magnus glances up at Alec, “Yes?”

“What’re you doing?”

“Oh this?” He waves his hand over the bottles in front of him, “Trying to decide on a new color. Time for something different.”

Alec watches as Magnus picks up a bottle, turns it so the color catches the light, then repeats the process with the next few bottles. Alec’s eyes trace over Magnus’ face, his furrowed brow, his pursed lips. He returns his gaze to the colors and watches Magnus pause with a green polish in his grasp. Magnus turns to Alec and holds the bottle up to Alec’s face. Alec looks questioningly at Magnus. 

After a moment, Magnus exclaims, “Perfect.” He turns back to the vanity and magics away the other polish bottles, leaving only the green one.

“Why’d you pick that one?”

Magnus smiles at Alec fondly, crinkles at the sides of his eyes, “Because,” He rests a hand against Alec’s cheek, “It matches your eyes.”

Alec feels the blush rise in his cheeks, a smile escaping onto his lips. He starts leaning forward and Magnus meets him half way, their lips meeting for a soft kiss. Alec leans back as Magnus uncaps the polish and rests one hand on the vanity. He watches, transfixed, as Magnus begins coating his nails in the polish. 

“Why don’t you...” Alec waves his hand in the air, indicating Magnus’ magic.

Magnus chuckles, “I find it relaxing to do by hand.”

Alec continues watching as Magnus paints his nails and repeats it for a second coat. He finds it oddly calming.

Once Magnus is done he twists to look at Alec, “Shall we do one of yours?”

Alec’s eyes widen for a moment before looking at his hands, “O-okay.” He offers his hand to Magnus, who takes it and sets it on the top of the vanity.

“What color?”

“Um…” Alec bites his lip for a moment, “Gold.”

Magnus raises his eyebrow in question. Alec blushes and looks down, “For _your_ eyes.” He glances back up at Magnus and catches the grin that grows on Magnus’ face.

Magnus flicks his hand and gold polish appears, “Which finger shall we do?”

Alec shrugs.

“Have you ever worn nail polish?”

Alec shakes his head.

“Oh my angel! You’ve been missing out.” Magnus declares dramatically.

Alec laughs.

“Now, we’ll just do one finger, don’t want to overdo it the first time.” Magnus runs his finger over Alec’s fingers. “How about this one?” He points at Alec’s pinky finger.

Alec takes a deep breath and shakes his head, “How about this one?” He taps his index finger up and down against the vanity.

Magnus smiles fondly at Alec and presses another kiss to his lips. Pulling back he whispers, “Okay.”

Alec watches as Magnus paints his nail a shimmery gold. It’s over quickly but when he holds his hand up he finds he actually kind of likes it. Turning back to Magnus Alec rumbles, “Thank you.”

Magnus smooches him again, “You’re welcome darling. Now, how about some breakfast?” He stands and extends a head out to Alec. 

“Sounds good.” Alec lets Magnus pull him to his feet and lead the way out of the bedroom. He finds himself looking at his gold-tipped nail and smiling to himself.


	14. Chapter 14

Magnus had gone to his office to speak with a few clients and prepare for the client that evening. Alec was outside on the patio absently looking at his golden nail, running a finger over the smooth surface. He laid back and picked up the book he had brought. He read for a time, enjoying the slight breeze. He was in the shade but quickly found himself almost uncomfortably warm.

He brushed it off, blaming his long sleeved shirt. He wasn’t willing to wear short sleeves yet. He rested a hand on his upper chest and felt heat emanate into his hand. Finding it odd he decided to go to the bathroom and check.

Once there he stands in front of the mirror, he takes a few deep breaths, still uncomfortable seeing the scars mapping his skin. He lifts up his shirt and sees where the skin had peeled the other morning was now an angry red and lines were running from it in different directions. He pulled the shirt back down, looking at his face and saw he was flushed. Was he getting sick? He never got sick. 

He headed back to the living room and sat on the couch. Still hot, he pulled on his collar, stretching it slightly. He laid down on the couch and fell into a fitful doze.

* * *

 

Magnus leaves his office and finds Alec on the couch curled in on himself. Magnus sees Alec’s flushed skin and sheen of sweat on his face. He kneels at Alec’s side and call softly, “Darling?”

Alec opens his eyes, and Magnus notes they are glassy.

“You look sick, how are you feeling?”

“Hot.”

Magnus rests a hand against Alec’s brow and feels the heat of it, “I think you have a fever love.”

Magnus shoots a text to Catarina. He runs his hand through Alec’s hair, dampening with sweat.

By the time Catarina arrives, Alec has begun to shiver, though he continues to sweat. Nodding in greeting, Magnus moves so Catarina has space. She scans Alec and zeros in on his chest, “Infection.”

“Alec?” She calls.

Alec blinks his eyes open. Catarina kneels so he can see her, “How are you feeling?”

“C-c-cold.” 

“I need to see your chest.” She reaches for the hen of his shirt, and Alec brings hand stopping her, pushing her hand away. “Alec, “ she soothes, “I just need to see what’s causing you to be sick.”

Magnus adds, “Darling let her look. She’ll help you feel better.”

Alec hesitates, then moves his hand out of the way. Catarina pulls his shirt up to see the angry red area. She hovers her hand over it, and starts healing. Not even a few seconds later Alec rolls away and heaves over the side of the couch. Catarina looks at Magnus, worry in her gaze. She rubs Alec’s back until he rolls back with a groan. Magnus magics away the mess.

“I’m going to try again Alec. But I think you are having a reaction to the magic. This won’t be pleasant.” Catarina pats his arm. Magnus moves to take Alec’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

Catarina begins again. Alec dry heaves, but Catarina continues. She continues through his gasps for air, his hisses of pain, his pleas to stop. She finishes and Alec melts against the couch panting. Catarina brushes the hair off his forehead, “I got the chest infection almost gone, but there’s likely still traces of it in his system. His body will have to do the rest.”

“Thank you dear.” Magnus gives her arm a slight squeeze.

She meets Magnus’ gaze and rests hand over his, “Magnus, he’s not tolerating magic anymore. We’ll have to be careful about using it on him.”

Magnus nods solemnly. 

* * *

 

“Alec I am not going to meet a client and leave you here while you’re sick!” Magnus repeats.

“Y-y-you s-sh-should g-go.” Alec gets out between shivers.

“You are not staying here alone.”

“C-ca-call J-J-Jace. Y-y-you g-go.”

Magnus huffs, frustrated, “Fine! But if he can’t come then I’m staying with you!”

“O-o-okay.”

Magnus pulls out his phone and dials Jace’s number.

Jace picks up after the second ring, “Hey Magnus, everything okay?”

“Alec’s sick-“

“What? Is he okay? What happened?”

“He’s fighting off the remains of an infection, and being a stubborn pain in the ass.”

Jace laughs, “That sounds like him.”

“I have an appointment with a client this evening, but Alec is insisting I go. I won’t if he’s alone. Would you be able to come stay with him while I’m gone?”

“Of course!”

“I still don’t think I should go.” Magnus sighs, rubbing his eyes, thankful he hasn’t put makeup on yet today.

“Why don’t I come over early and we’ll see how it goes and then you decide?”

“Okay.”

After agreeing to a time, Magnus hangs up and looks down at Alec, “Happy now? Jace says he’ll come.”

Alec gives a weak smile, “Y-y-yes.”

* * *

 

When Jace arrives Alec’s shivers are intermittent, slight reprieves between them. Jace takes in the sight of Alec laying on the couch covered by a blanket, head in Magnus’ lap. The TV is on, the sound low.

“Hey guys.” Jace shrugs off his jacket and hangs over the back of the chair.

Magnus raises his glass in salute. Alec looks up and gives him a smile then shivers.

Jace walks to the unoccupied corner of the couch, lifts Alec’s feet and sits down, settling Alec’s feet in his lap. “Hear you’re sick Alec.”

Alec nods, “It’s nothing.”

Magnus rolls his eyes at Jace, “Lies.”

Jace laughs, “It’s always nothing with you isn’t it?” He pats Alec’s leg. “You have to let us take care of you sometimes.”

Alec huffs in response.

Magnus takes a sip of his drink, “I’ve just given him some medicine-“

Alec makes a gagging sound and mutters, “ _Mundane_ medicine Jace.”

Jace smiles, “It can’t have been that bad. I mean” he pauses, looking at Alec’s face, then deadpans, “you’re still alive.” 

Magnus chuckles and Alec frowns at Jace, “Traitor.”

A strong shiver rolls through Alec’s body, causing his teeth to chatter. Magnus rubs his back through the blanket.

Jace nods towards the TV, “What’re we watching?”

“Alexander here has discovered a fondness for shark week.”

Jace raises his brow, no clue what Magnus is referencing.

Magnus sets his drink on the coffee table, “There’s a TV channel that dedicates a week each year to sharks and everything about them.”

“Weird.” Jace says.

Magnus checks the time and realizes it’s almost time for him to go. He glances down at Alec, “You sure you’ll be okay if I go?”

Alec nods, “Yes. We’ll be just fine.”

Magnus looks at Jace who also nods. He sighs and gets up, laying Alec’s head back down on some pillows. “If you need anything just call me.” Magnus looks at Jace. “He won’t be due for more medicine until after I’m back, so you should be set.”

“Sounds good.”

Magnus’ eyes linger over Alec’s face. Alec, now frustrated, huffs out, “I’m _fine_ Mags.” Magnus smirks when Alec shivers.

“Of course you are darling.” He pats his pocket, making sure he has his phone, “Okay, I’m off. Call me if you need anything.”

“Bye.” Alec and Jace chorus to Magnus’ retreating back.

After an hour or so the blanket has slipped to Alec’s waist.

Jace notices the gold polish on Alec’s finger, “Nice nail polish.”

Alec glances down, blushes and smiles, “Magnus painted it for me.”

“It’s a good color. Nice choice.”

“It matches Magnus’ eyes.”

Jace is confused for a moment until he realizes Alec means Magnus’ cat eyes. Then nods, “Yes it does.”

Alec rubs his hands up and down his arms while he shivers again. Jace pulls the blanket back up and fits it snugly around Alec.

After another show Jace notices Alec shivering more, and now had a sheen of sweat on his brow. Jace checks the time and figures it’s still awhile until Magnus returns. He lets it be for another hour, then decides it’s time to make Alec more comfortable.

“Let’s get you out of these damp clothes.” Jace helps Alec to the bedroom and helps him sit on the edge of the bed. Jace goes into the closet, at a loss with the amount of clothes. Though, he can tell the majority is Magnus’. Looking around he finds Alec’s section easily. Everything neatly folded and stacked. He smiles fondly as he grabs a shirt and sweats. He heads back out to Alec’s side.

“Okay. Shirt first.” He leans over and grabs the hem of Alec’s shirt. Alec tightens his arms, holding the shirt down.

As he shivers again he says, “D-d-don’t l-l-look.”

Jace frowns, “Alec, I saw it when you were healing. I won’t judge you because of the scars. You’re my brother.” He squeezes one of Alec’s hands.

Alec relaxes his arms and lifts them. Jace pulls the shirt up and off. He notices the scars but doesn’t linger, knowing Alec is uncomfortable. He grabs the new shirt and moves to put it on but Alec bats it away.

“W-w-want l-lo-long sl-sleeves.”

Jace glances at the shirt in his hands and sees that it is short sleeved, “Alec, you’ll be too hot in long sleeves. Short sleeves are fine.”

Alec shakes his head and hunches his shoulders.

Jace sighs and returns to the closet. It takes him a few moments to find long sleeved shirts, but he returns to the bedroom successful. He holds it out to show Alec, “Here. Long sleeves, as requested.”

He helps Alec get the shirt on and watches as Alec pulls the sleeves down as far as they’ll go.

“Time for your sweats.” 

Alec nods, and Jace helps him to his feet. They make quick work of changing pants, and Alec sits back down. 

“T-th-thank y-y-you.”

“Anytime brother.” Jace puts the dirty clothes in the hamper inside the closet. Returning to Alec’s side, he asks, “Want to lay down?”

Alec nods. Jace helps him into bed and under the covers. Alec grasps his wrist loosely, “S-stay?”

Jace smiles, “Of course Alec.”

He climbs up on the bed, sitting against the headboard. Alec lays at his side. Alec falls asleep with Jace running his fingers through Alec’s hair.

* * *

 

Magnus returns to find them in bed. Jace sitting in bed, arms crossed, dozing, with Alec asleep at his side. Magnus smiles and takes a few steps into the room. Jace opens his eyes, “Hey Magnus. How’d it go?”

“Just fine. You?”

“No problems. Though he probably needs another dose of medicine”

Magnus nods, “Thank you for coming to stay with him.”

“Anything for Alec.” Jace smiles fondly down at Alec’s sleeping form. “So, seeing clients clients again?”

Magnus takes a seat at the end of the bed, “Yes. Tonight was the first. I changed it to me meeting them since Alec is sick.”

“Do you have any tomorrow?”

“Not for a few days. Wanted to ease back in, see how Alec deals with people coming over.”

Jace nods, “Good plan.”

They watch Alec sleep for a few minutes. 

Jace breaks the silence, “Do you need me to stay with him when you have the first client over?”

Magnus debates it for a moment, “I’m not sure. Most likely yes. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but I’ve been cautious with each new step.”

Jace shifts away from Alec and stands up, “Just let me know. I haven’t been going on many missions lately, so I’m sure I’ll be free.”

Magnus raises his brow in question.

Jace shrugs, “The Inquisitor is holding a grudge I guess.”

“That’s too bad.”

“It means more time to spend with Alec. So I’ll take it as it comes. He’s more important.”

“That his is.”

“I’m going to head out, let you get to sleep.”

“Thank you again for coming. I can portal you back?”

“Sure.”

They make their way to the living room where Jace retrieves his jacket. As he puts it on Jace requests, “Let me know how he’s doing in the morning?”

Magnus summons the portal, “Of course.”

With a nod Jace leaves through the portal.

Magnus returns to the bedroom and prepares for bed. Once in pajamas he slides under the covers. Alec snuggles in close to his side and Magnus smiles. With his angel next to him, Magnus falls asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay 2 chapters. Though this one is a little short...  
> Enjoy.

Over the next few days Alec’s limp improves a bit so it’s not as exaggerated. He’s now able to grasp small things in his hand, though his strength and dexterity are still lacking.

* * *

 

Alec hobbles into the office, finding Magnus behind his desk. Magnus looks up and smiles, “Hi darling. Bored?”

“I wanted a new book to read.”

Magnus waves his hand around the room, “At your disposal.” He cocks his head, “Or is the saying ‘at your fingertips.’” He shrugs and rests his hand on the book in front of him. “Anything particular?”

“Do you have…” Alec takes a few steps forward, “cookbooks?”

Magnus’ eyes twinkle, “Yes I do.” He snaps his fingers and a pile of books appear at his side. “Where would you like them?”

“Living room?” The books vanished. Alec glanced back up at Magnus, “Thank you.”

Magnus stands and walks to Alec’s side. “Anytime darling.” He leans in and presses a kiss to Alec’s lips. He gives Alec’s hand a squeeze before going back to his desk.

“Mags?” Alec asks.

Magnus hums in response.

“When is your first client?”

“Tomorrow at 1.” 

“Okay.”

“Would like someone to come and stay with you while I’m with the client?”

Alec shrugs, “Maybe.”

“Well, I’m sure Jace or Izzy would be more than happy to spend some time with you.”

Alec nods and makes his way back to the living room The books are waiting on the coffee table, neatly stacked. Alec smiles as he sits down, taking the book off the top. He puts his feet up, settles back in his seat and opens the book.

* * *

 

The next morning after they’ve gotten ready, Magnus speaks up, “Alec?”

Alec hums in inquiry.

“How about we go out?”

Alec tenses, “Where?”

“Just to the bakery? I’ll portal us to the alley right next to the building. It’d just be a quick visit.”

Alec’s chest tightens with anxiety but he knows he’ll have to try at some point. He takes a deep breath, “Okay.”

Magnus summons their jackets, “Let’s go.”

“Now?”

“Yes.” Magnus straightens Alec’s jacket and holds out his hand. Alec takes it as Magnus summons a portal. With a final deep breath he follows Magnus into the alley.

Alec grasps Magnus’ hand hard enough to hear bones crack. Magnus looks back at him, “It’ll be fine Alec. We’re just going to go inside, get some bakery stuff, and leave, ok?”

Alec gulps, staring at the people passing the opening of the alley. He responds in a small voice, “Okay.”

They pause again before exiting the alley. Magnus asks, “Ready?”

Alec looks down at where their hands are holding each other and debates whether to hold on or to stuff his hands in his pockets. Magnus notices Alec’s indecision, “Whatever you want Alec. I’ll be here right next to you.”

Alec pulls his hand away and lets it hang by his side, he’s never been much of a PDA person, and now he doesn’t want to be seen as weak. At least… weaker than he already is. He takes a few deep breaths, then nods at Magnus.

They step out of the alley and Alec tries to limp as little as he can, without much success. He feels eyes on him and he tries to just focus on Magnus next to him. They enter the bakery and get in line.

“What would you like Alexander?” Magnus asks, waving at the display case.

Alec’s eyes linger over the variety of goods displayed. He shrugs, “Whatever you’re getting.”

“I’m going to get a little bit of this and little bit of that. Give us choices for later.”

Alec nods, “Good idea.”

They make it up to the cash register, and Alec sees the employee’s gaze linger on his facial scar, so he focuses on Magnus. Alec watches as Magnus orders and the employee prepares it, fast and efficient. After paying, Magnus takes the large white box and turns to the door. Alec follows him back out and around the edge of the building, returning to the alley. Magnus opens a new portal and they return to the loft. Alec lets out a deep sigh at being back home, his body releasing all the tension.

Magnus sets the box on the dining room table and turns to Alec, “I’m so proud of you angel! You were fabulous.” Magnus hugs Alec close, and Alec lightly hugs him back. 

Magnus opens the box and claps his hands together, “Now what do you want as your prize?”

Alec steps closer to peek in the box.

Magnus points and lists off various choices. He pauses over a brownie with powdered sugar. He lifts it up and takes a bite, moaning at the delicious flavor. Magnus looks at Alec and holds the brownie out to him. Alec leans in and presses a kiss to Magnus’ sugar covered lips. He leans back and licks his lips. Magnus smirks and licks his own, “Good, isn’t it?”

Alec nods, then leans forward and takes a bite of the brownie. 

Magnus’ eyes go to Alec’s lips, “My turn.” He presses his lips to Alec’s and surprises him when his tongue licks at the seam of his lips. Alec opens slightly and Magnus takes the opportunity to slip in and deepen the kiss. Alec revels in the sweet, sugary, chocolatey taste. Alec sighs, they haven’t kissed like this since before his de-runing. He has missed this.

They kiss for a few more moments, then pull back to breathe. Magnus licks his lips, “Now _that_ was scrumptious.” 

Alec laughs, a large smile on his face.

* * *

 

After their brunch of bakery yumminess, they clear the table. In the kitchen Alec speaks up, “Mags?”

“Yes darling?”

“I - uh- found a recipe I’d like to try. Could you maybe… get the ingredients for me?”

“Of course angel! Show me what you need.”

Alec retrieves the book from the counter and opens to the marked page, pointing at the list of ingredients, “I figure I can do this while you’re with the client?”

“Wonderful idea! Let’s see…” Magnus waves his hand and the ingredients appear on the countertop, neatly sorted. “How’s this?”

Alec smiles, “Perfect.”

Magnus smooches Alec’s cheek loudly. Alec blushes and laughs.

Magnus claps his hands together, “Now, do you have everything you need? The client will be here soon.”

“Yes, I think I’m set.”

“Alright. I’ll see you when I’m done.”

Alec nods and presses a kiss to Magnus’ lips.

Alec busies himself reviewing the ingredients and instructions. He stiffens when he hears the buzzer, doesn’t relax until the new voices fade down the hallway, and then get cut off by the closed office door. With that he returns his focus to the recipe.

* * *

 

Alec is just finishing cooking the meal when he hears the office door open and voices murmuring in the hall. He listens as they draw nearer and then fade as the front door closes. Magnus appears in the doorway to the kitchen, “How goes it? It smells wonderful.”

“Almost done.”

“Good. I’m hungry.” Magnus comes to Alec’s side and puts an arm around his waist.

The timer goes off and Alec removes the food from the burner. He prepares two plates as he asks, “How was your appointment?”

“It went well, very simple thing actually.”

“That’s good.” 

Magnus reaches for his food but gets his hand slapped away.

“We’re going to eat at the table.”

Magnus smiles, “Okay darling. As long as we eat soon.”

Alec hands Magnus the plates and follows him to the table. They dig in and Magnus hums at the flavors bursting on his tongue, “This is delicious Alexander.”

Alec smiles, “Good.”

“You’ll need to try more new recipes if this is how they turn out.” Magnus smirks at Alec before taking another bite.

Alec blushes and looks down at his plate while he continues eating. They finish their meal in content silence.

* * *

 

That night:

Magnus snaps his fingers, turning on the sound system, music starting. He leans over and offers his hand to Alec, “Shall we?”

Alec huffs a laugh, “Don’t you remember? I can’t dance.”

Magnus curls his fingers toward his palm, his eyes twinkling, “Humor me.”

Alec smiles, and gives his hand to Magnus. Getting to his feet, he limps after Magnus who pulls him to the middle of the open space in the living room. Magnus turns, guides on of Alec’s hands to his shoulder, and takes hold of the other. He places his free hand on Alec’s waist. He encourages Alec into taking another step forward, leaving almost no space between them. Alec licks his lips nervously.

Magnus smiles up at Alec, melting Alec’s heart. How was he so lucky to have Magnus? To have this? To be loved? To be wanted after everything that had happened?

Magnus starts swaying their hips to the beat, humming along to the music. Alec relaxes into the movement, a slight smile gracing his face. His heart was full, no room left for anything else.

Magnus twirled himself around and returned to holding Alec. He sang the next line out loud, garnering a surprised laugh out of Alec. This felt _good_ , to be happy. He suddenly felt a wave of gratitude rush through him. He would never have made it this far without the warlock in front of him. Alec leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Magnus’ lips and whispered, “Thank you.”

Magnus, his singing interrupted by the kiss, blinked, “You’re welcome? Though I don’t know what I did.”

Their moment paused, and Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand and shoulder, “For everything you do… I love you.”

Magnus smiled smugly and winked, “ I _am_ marvelous.” At Alec’s eye roll, he said seriously, “I love you Alexander, more than you’ll ever know.” Magnus pulled Alec’s head down and kissed him once, twice, three times.

Alec hummed happily against Magnus’ lips. A new song started and Magnus made a pleased noise in his throat. He started swaying again, guiding Alec into joining. Alec gave in, didn’t resist, just let it happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas of what Alec could do in the mundane world? I'm trying to brainstorm and I'm leaning towards something but would like more options if anyone has some.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have quite a few pieces written, but trying to get something to flow from the last chapter was difficult. When I finished this portion I found that it fit. Sorry that's this is a short chapter. Need to figure out the portion that connects this to the next one, and my brain is not cooperating...
> 
> And thank you to everyone who commented and shared their thoughts about what Alec could do going forward. I appreciate each one!
> 
> Comments are love.

The next afternoon finds Magnus with clients and Alec in the living room reading.

Alec hears soft footsteps from the hallway, and a rustle of clothes against the wall. He turns towards the hallway and catches a glimpse of part of a little girl’s face peeking around the edge of the frame. Caramel skin and a bright blue eye shining in the light. She pulls back out of sight. Alec smiles and waits, watching out of the corner of his eye. She peeks out again, her eyes wide and watching him. Alec notices scales on her cheeks and neck.

Alec turns to look at her and says softly, “Hello.”

She looks back down the hallway then takes a step out, “Hi.”

“I’m Alec.”

She takes a few steps forward, “Marina.” Her scales sparkle in the sunlight.

“Nice to meet you. Were you looking for something?”

Marina steps closer and stops at the end of the couch, “Daddy said there’s a scary Shadowhunter here. He didn’t want me to leave the room.”

“Oh?” 

“He’s too busy to notice right now.” She whispers conspiratorially, and pushes her sleek hair away from her face, her scales shimmering in shades of blues and green. “Do you know where the Shadowhunter is?”

“I don’t think there is one here anymore.” Alec says, a faint echo of loss in his voice.

Marina, too young to notice, lets out a sigh, “Oh, okay. I haven’t seen a Shadowhunter yet.” She shuffles forward a little more and pulls herself up on the couch. “Why do you live with Mr. Bane?”

Alec blushes, unsure how to handle this, “Magnus is… my good friend.”

She nods, hair falling into her face again. She tries to tie it back but it slips forward again. She huffs out in frustration.

“Do you need help with your hair?” Alec asks.

Marina quirks a brow at him, disbelieving, “ _You_ know what to do with hair? You’re a boy.”

“I have a younger sister. I helped her sometimes.”

Marina debates it for a second, then takes a band from her wrist and holds it out to Alec. He takes it and pats the cushion next to him. After a few moments, Marina crawls over the couch to sit by his side. She cranes her neck to look up at him, “You’re _tall._ ”

Alec chuckles, “I guess I am. Now, do you just want a ponytail?”

Marina shrugs and turns so Alec has her hair in front of him.

“How about a braid?”

Marina glances at him, eyes wide, “Do you know how?”

Alec nods, and Marina smiles at him. “Ok.”

Alec carefully pulls Marina’s hair back and starts braiding it. Marina sits quietly, looking around the loft as Alec works. Finished, Alec loops the band at the end of the braid.

“There, all done.”

Marina feels the braid then turns back to him, “Thank you Mr. Alec.”

“You’re welcome Marina.”

“Are you a warlock too?”

Alec shakes his head, “I’m not much of anything anymore.”

“Oh.” Marina tucks her hands under her legs, kicking her feet back and forth.

“I think your scales are beautiful.”

Marina glances at him bashfully, and he thinks he notices a flush to her cheeks. She touches the scales gingerly, “I’m not good at keeping my glamour.”

“I hope you don’t need to hide them too much.”

“Daddy says I’m not supposed to show them to anybody.”

“Your daddy is right. There are places where you’d have to hide them. Mundanes wouldn’t know what to do.”

Marina nods, her eyes trace the scar on his face, “You have a mark too.”

Alec glances away for a moment, “Yes I do.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore.”

“Good.” Marina gives a forceful nod. “Did your daddy heal you? My daddy heals me when I get hurt.”

“No, uh, Magnus and his friend Catarina did.”

Her eyes widen, “Mr. Bane? But he’s so powerful! Did it cost a lot? My daddy says Mr. Bane is… expensive” Her mouth trips over the word.

Alec smiles at her fondly, “Magnus didn’t charge me, I’m lucky to have him as my friend.”

Marina nods, “Mr. Bane is important.” She flops her hands out motioning wide, “ _Everybody_ knows who Mr. Bane is. He knows everything.” She looks up expectantly at Alec.

“He is very intelligent and likes helping people.”

Marina focuses on his scar again, “Do you have to hide your mark too?”

Alec shakes his head, “It’s just a scar, so I don’t have to hide it from mundanes.”

Marina looks at Alec’s hands and sees the tips of scars peeking out from Alec’s long sleeves. She hesitantly touches his wrist with her finger, “You have more marks here.”

Alec tries not to pull away, “Yes, I have a lot of them.”

“Someone was really bad to you?”

Oddly touched by her innocence Alec nods.

Marina’s fingers trapeze over his wrists and hands. “Did Mr. Bane put them in a time out? When I’m bad my daddy grounds me.”

Alec turns his hands over, palms up for Marina to continue exploring. “No. Magnus can’t ground him.”

“Why?”

“The bad man is an important Shadowhunter.”

Marina’s fingers halt, wide eyes find his, “A Shadowhunter?”

Alec hastily adds, “Not all Shadowhunters are bad. A lot of them are nice. It’s just the bad man is too powerful for Magnus to get to.”

Marina looks back down at her fingers tracing patterns on his hands, “Are a lot of Shadowhunters bad?”

Alec shakes his head, “No. I know a lot of them. Some of my friends are Shadowhunters.”

“You’re friends with Shadowhunters?” She asks incredulous. “But don’t they hate us?”

“Us?” Alec repeats, hoping for clarifications.

Marina’s fingers pause again, “Daddy says they hate everyone who isn’t like them, especially downworlders.”

“Not my friends. They help protect everyone from bad demons.”

Marina’s trace the edge of Alec’s sleeve, pausing on the edge of each scar, then trails them back to Alec’s palm. They look up when they hear a door open and a man’s voice calls, “Marina?!”

Marina pulls away from Alec, “Yes daddy?”

Magnus and a male warlock turn the corner into the room. The warlock see Marina sitting next to Alec and his eyes widen, “Marina come here. I told you to stay by me.”

Marina tries to get off the couch but stumbles and Alec steadies her. He quickly removes his hands at the strangled noise that leaves the male warlock’s throat at him touching Marina.

Magnus jumps in, “I can assure you Kenton, Alec is not dangerous. Marina is perfectly safe here.”

Marina turns and waves at Alec, “Bye Mr. Alec.”

Alec waves back, “Bye Marina.”

Marina makes her way to her father’s side. Kenton’s eyes linger on Alec before he turns to Magnus, “Thank you Mr. Bane.”

Magnus shakes his hand, “Always a pleasure.”

Kenton takes Marina’s hand, glancing back at Alec, concerned, then nods at Magnus. Magnus holds the door as they exit. Once the door is shut, Magnus turns to Alec, “I didn’t know you were good with kids. Other than your siblings of course.”

Alec shrugs, his cheeks flushing at the compliment, “I’m _okay_ with them.”

“Marina seemed to like you.” Magnus lowers himself to the couch at Alec’s side.

Alec smiles, “She was sweet.”

“Did you do the braid? I’m pretty sure her hair was loose when she got here.”

Alec nods, “It kept falling in her face.”

“You never cease to amaze me Alexander.” Magnus smiles and leans in to press a kiss to Alec’s lips. Alec hums into the kiss, opening for Magnus’ tongue. They spend the next few minutes kissing languidly. When they pull apart Alec smiles.

“Her scales were beautiful, did you see them?”

Magnus nods, warmth flooding his chest at the reminder that Alec is so open and accepting to those different from himself.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love of the fluff ft. Marina from last chapter. 
> 
> And sorry but this is all angst. Fluff just wasn't in the cards.
> 
> Comments are love!

The next day:

In the kitchen, Alec hears murmurs of Magnus’ clients from the foyer. They must be on their way out.

“He has a pet shadowhunter, did you know?” One of them says.

“An _exiled_ shadowhunter, and a cripple apparently.” The other mumbles.

“That’s Magnus for you, too soft hearted for his own good. Always taking in the strays.”

“Such a burden. I hear he doesn’t leave the apartment much.”

“Apparently he’s scarred all over, so I wouldn’t be surprised. Saves us all the disgusting sight.”

“Why do you think Magnus keeps him?”

One scoffs, “He must put out _obviously_ , and well.”

Alec braces himself against the counter, looking down at the countertop. The words cut into his skin. He squeezes his eyes shut. Memories of his time at Aldertree’s disposal surge against his closed eyelids. His chest constricts and he fights against the rising panic.

Magnus’ voice calls out, “So sorry about that, here is the additional vial.”

“Thank you.” The first voice says.

Magnus’ voice sounds again, “Any time. Thank you for coming.”

Alec heard the door open, then shortly after, it snicks closed.

“Alec?” Magnus calls before entering the kitchen. “Trying a new recipe?” He asks before he notices Alec’s tense posture. “Darling what happened?”

Magnus reaches out and places his hand on Alec’s shoulder, making him jump. Alec shakes his head and opens his eyes. He takes a breath and looks at Magnus, “I’m okay.”

Magnus frowns and places a hand on Alec’s cheek, “We both know that’s not true. What’s wrong?”

Alec places his hand over Magnus’, intertwining their fingers, “Flashback… I’m okay.”

Magnus runs his eyes over Alec’s face again, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alec shakes his head and says firmly, “I’m okay now.”

“Okay.”

Alec turns back to the ingredients on the counter and answers Magnus’ original question, “And yes, I’m trying a new recipe.”

Magnus hums and licks his lips, “Can’t wait to try it.” He rubs his hand over Alec’s back. Alec turns to him and Magnus sneaks a quick kiss. Alec gives him a small smile and he knows everything is okay for now.

* * *

 

The whispers catch up to him later. After dinner, when Magnus goes back to his office to finish something up. Alec finds himself alone in the living room and the words echo in his head. _Pet. Exiled. Cripple. Disgusting. Too soft hearted. Stray. Burden._ Alec squeezes his eyes shut. This is why he doesn’t want to see new people or go out. He doesn’t want to see these words in someone’s eyes. Hearing the words hurt, but _seeing_ it is worse. 

Alec rubs his chest, feeling the puckered skin under his fingertips. His eyes trace over the pink scars covering his forearms. He had been doing well but he feels himself sinking again.

“Alexander?” Magnus calls as he returns to the living room. He sees Alec on the couch, eyes closed. “Tired?”

Alec opens his eyes and nods. Magnus comes to his side and cradles Alec’s face between his hands. Magnus notes a flicker of something in Alec’s eyes. “Are you okay darling?”

Alec stands up, “Just tired.”

Later, when they’re in bed, Alec settles in Magnus’ arms. He fights tears and listens while Magnus’ breathing steadies as he falls asleep. Alec eventually follows Magnus into sleep.

* * *

 

Magnus jerks awake, immediately reaching for Alec, and finds the bed empty. He sits up and rubs his face, this was the fourth time tonight he had woken up. It had been awhile since the nightmares were this bad. 

Magnus stands up, pulls on some sweats and goes in search of his angel. He makes the rounds of the loft, with no luck, before he notices the balcony door is open. He steps out into the night and finds Alec in a patio chair staring off into space.

“Alec?” Magnus calls as he nears.

Alec doesn’t react. Magnus tries again when he reaches Alec’s side, “Alec?” 

Still no response. He gently reaches out and puts a hand on Alec’s shoulder. Alec flinches, drawing an arm up to protect his his face. Magnus grasps Alec’s wrists gently and calls his name again, “Alec? It’s me, Magnus.”

Alec blinks and his eyes finally focus on Magnus. Confused, Alec glances around then back at Magnus, “Mags?”

“Hey darling. What are you doing up?” He moves his hands to cradle Alec’s face.

“Can’t sleep.” Alec’s eyes start to lose focus again.

“Alexander.” Magnus waits for Alec eyes to meet his, “What’s wrong?”

Magnus perches on the edge of the chair next to Alec’s legs, “More nightmares?”

Alec drops his eyes and nods.

“Do you want to take the sleeping potion again? You need to sleep love.”

Alec shuts his eyes for a few moments. Magnus rubs Alec’s cheekbones with his thumbs. He sighs and pulls Alec into his arms, hugging Alec to his chest. He rests his chin on Alec’s head, and starts to slowly rock side to side.

Magnus begins to hum a melody and Alec feels the rumble through Magnus’ chest. He squeezes his eyes further shut, trying to fight off the vivid nightmares that have visited him tonight. He fails as the pictures and sounds force themselves to his senses. His breath hitches against Magnus’ chest and his hands turn to fists. He just wants them to stop. To _please_ stop. 

“Oh darling. I would make them stop if I could.” Magnus tugs Alec closer, more firmly against him, and uses one hand to rub up and down Alec’s spine.

Magnus feels something wet against his chest and realizes that Alec is crying now. Grief for his angel swells in his chest. He hears Alec muttering something, but it takes him awhile to understand the repeated plea. _‘Please.’_

Alec is breaking again, here in his arms. He lets it happen, holding his love against his chest. Eventually Alec calms and sighs as his body melts with exhaustion. Magnus kisses Alec’s head, “How about that potion and we go to bed?”

“‘Kay.” Alec says, muffled against Magnus’ chest. 

Magnus stands and pulls Alec to his feet. He quickly wipes the tears from Alec’s face. They pause by the kitchen for Magnus to get the potion, then they return to bed. Once Alec drinks it down, they settle in bed.

Before sleep can drag him down, Alec asks, “Stay?”

“Always darling. Always.”

* * *

 

Alec sleeps until late morning. He remains quiet and stays close to Magnus through the early afternoon. They are both sitting on the couch, side by side, when Alec breaks the silence.

“Mags?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you still here?”

“What do you mean?”

Alec huffs, “Why are you still with me?”

Magnus sets down his book and turns to Alec, “I’ve said it before and will say it again, I love you Alexander.”

“Why? … How can you still?” Alec’s eyes are filled with pain.

Magnus takes hold of Alec’s hand, intertwining their fingers, “Darling, you’re still you.” He leans in to press a kiss to Alec’s forehead. “You are still strong, honest, brave, loyal, loving, caring and will always have my heart.”

“I’m none of those things anymore Mags.”

“I still them all in you.”

Alec’s voice becomes laced with anger, “Why are you lying?” Alec pulls his hand from Magnus’ and moves away.

“Alexander-“

Alec cuts him off, “I’m nothing. I’m weak, broken, a burden -“ He chokes on the words and fists his hands, “I’m a _cripple_. I’m never going to be the same.”

“Darling-“

“I can’t even stand the sight of _myself._ How can you even _look_ at me?” Alec looks at Magnus who can only see anger, self-hatred and grief in his gaze. Alec crosses his arms tightly against his chest. His eyes widen as he realizes, “You haven’t even seen what my body looks like now. Should we get it over with? So you can leave?” Alec’s hand goes to the hem of his shirt.

Magnus reaches towards Alec but pulls back at Alec’s flinch. Alec lets out a humorless laugh, “I can’t even let you _touch_ me right now. What am I doing? I’m just a leech and draining you. No one should be stuck with someone like me.”

Alec’s voice quiets to a whisper, “How can you _love_ me anymore?”

Alec looks out the balcony doors, slightly turned from Magnus now. Magnus waits a few moments, but Alec doesn’t continue.

Thinking he can talk now he starts, “Alexander-“

Alec brings his hands up to roughly wipe at his face and stands, his back to Magnus, “I - I can’t - do this right now.” He goes to the patio, pulling the door shut behind him.

Magnus watches Alec go, unsure of what to do. Should he follow now? Should he wait? What should he say?

* * *

 

Magnus gives Alec an hour and then tries to talk to him. He brings juice and a few muffins out with him. He sets them on the table before turning to Alec. Alec is curled into one of the patio chairs. For someone so tall, it was how surprisingly small he looked in that moment. Alec is facing away from Magnus, but he can still see part of his face.

“Alexander?”

Alec doesn’t respond. Magnus sighs and tries again, “Darling?”

“Just leave Magnus.” Alec bites out.

The words sting as they nip at him. “I brought you juice and some food. Please have something to eat.”

No response. Magnus turns and leaves the balcony.

Once inside he pulls out his phone and dials Izzy.

“Magnus?”

“Izzy could you come over?”

“Sure, tonight?”

“Now.”

“Why? What happened?”

“It’s Alec.” Magnus spins his ring as he begins to pace. “He had a lot of nightmares last night. I ended up giving him the sleeping potion, thinking that’d help. But this afternoon he -“ Magnus searches for the right word, “He broke down.” Magnus sighs and runs his free hand over his face, “He’s so angry Izzy. And the things he’s saying.”

“Magnus-“

“He won’t talk to me. Maybe - maybe he’ll talk to you?”

“I’ll come right over.”

“Text me when you’re outside the Institute and I’ll portal you.”  
“Thank you Magnus. Just give me a minute.”

* * *

 

Izzy arrives, her hair still swirling from the portal as it closes behind her. Magnus is there waiting and she notes his smeared make up, his nervous hands.

“Magnus.” She says stepping closer. 

With a pained smile he responds, “Izzy, thank you for coming.”

“Magnus, of course I came.” She turns and sees the living room empty. “Where’s Alec?”

Magnus points towards the balcony, “Outside. He was not hospitable when I was out there.”

Izzy pats his arm and squeezes it, “Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

Magnus’ posture softens, “Please Izzy. I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk to me.”

“Let me try.” She leaves Magnus standing there and heads out to the patio. 

She finds Alec curled in the patio chair. Juice and muffins are on the patio table, untouched.

“Alec?”

No response.

She comes to his side and speaks louder, “Alec?”

He starts and looks up at her, “Izzy?” He blinks a few times, “Why are you here?”

“Magnus called.” She notices her brother tense at Magnus’ name. “What is going on?”

Alec looks away, and she sees him trying to build up his walls again. She reaches forward and grasps his arm firmly, “Alec. What is going on?”

She rounds the chair, scanning Alec’s face. His eyes are puffy and red rimmed, bruises beneath them. Alec finally looks at her and she gives him a weak smile, “Hey big brother. What happened?”

He mumbles, “Nothing.”

She frowns, apparently sweet was not going to get him to start talking. New direction. She widens her stance and crosses her arms, “Alexander. What. Is. Going. On.”

She watches his eyes and notes a flicker there. It was working. She moves and takes a seat on the couch. She pats right next to her and orders, “Come here.”

Alec unfolds himself from the chair and moves to her side. He lowers himself to the couch, his shoulders hunched, his head hanging down.

“Talk.”

Alec glances at her and she sees his eyes glistening with tears. She drops the attitude and just draws her brother into her arms. She rests his head on her shoulder and pulls him close. “It’s okay big brother. I’m here.”

She feels his shoulders start to move as he starts to cry. He reaches around her tiny frame and holds her tight. 

And Alec breaks for the second time in as many days.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst .... and fluff! Just for you. *adds sprinkles* Enjoy!
> 
> Comments are love!

Somehow Alec’s large frame is curled around her, his upper half fitting in her arms. It started as quiet tears, and is now heaving sobs. Izzy tries to comfort him, soothe him, but it just continues. She’s at a loss, she has never been on this side of the crying sibling being comforted by the other. Especially not with Alec. She hugs him tight with one arm, and runs the other hand through his hair. She catches words between sobs.

“I can’t - he won’t - they - ugly - Izzy - won’t stop - how - please - Izzy - _please_.” Alec dissolves once again. She shushes him and starts to rock gently back and forth. 

Alec’s sobs eventually subside into soft hiccuping cries. Izzy just holds him, blinking her own tears back from hearing his pain. He’d intermittently beg ‘ _please_ ’ and her heart wants to break all over again.

She catches movement out of the corner of her eye. Looking up she sees Magnus hovering in the balcony doorway, eyes filled with pain, watching Alec. She catches the shimmer from tears on his cheeks. She sighs, unsure how to help with so much pain drowning both Alec and Magnus. Magnus disappears back inside, wiping at his face before she can no longer see him.

Izzy returns her attention to her big brother in her arms. She wipes at his exposed cheek before returning her hand to his hair. She keeps up a stream of comforting words and soothing sounds. She hums the lullaby their mother had sung to them.

Alec’s tears become silent and he tries to nestle closer to his little sister. From her embrace he mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

Izzy squeezes him extra tight for a moment, “Alec. It’s okay. You can’t keep this bottled up.” She wipes his cheek again, smearing the fresh tears and tear tracks. She presses a kiss to his hair. “I love you big brother.”

Alec’s breath hitches and he asks, “Why?”

Izzy frowns at the question, “There are so many reasons. So many moments you’ve given me love and happiness. Where should I start?”

Alec sniffles against her, his eyes still tightly shut, “No, I mean - I mean how? - how can you - still? - even now.”

“Oh Alec. What you went through… You were, no, _are_ so strong. To live through that? To come back to us?”

“Sometimes - I wish -“ His breath hitches, “I didn’t.”

Izzy’s heart shatters and tears fall from her eyes, “Big brother-“ She tries to find the right words. “I’m so sorry, but I’m so thankful you did.”

“I’m not him anymore Izzy.”

Izzy draws her brows down in confusion, “Who?”

“From before. I’m not him anymore.”

She sighs, “No one would be the same. I’m not even the same me as before.”

Alec remains silent at that. She continues to rock them both. A few minutes later she whispers, “Did something happen? You were doing so well… Or did you just bottle it up too long?”

Alec adjusts himself in her arms, his arms still around her waist, “Just being stupid.”

“Alec.” She scolds. “Tell me.”

He opens his eyes and looks up at her. She gasps at the pain and grief in them. He turns his head away. She runs her hand through his hair a few times.

“I just - feel like a burden.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m not doing anything. Everyone has to take care of me. I can’t go out or do things by myself. And with Magnus -“ He takes a deep breath, then spews out, “I flinch when he touches me sometimes. And we’ve kissed, but nothing else. I can’t stand how I look. What am I doing keeping him stuck here? There’s no way he wants me anymore. I mean, _look_ at me. You can’t even see the worst of it. He’s going to see and it’ll be over. He won’t want me anymore. _I_ don’t want me anymore.”

It takes a bit for Izzy to untangle the stream of words Alec just said. “Big brother, we all still want you in our own ways. You’re still in there. The shell may look different, and there are new experiences inside, but it’s still you. Magnus loves your _soul,_ not the shell. It’s going to take time, but you have to give him the chance to show that to you.”

“I don’t - know if I can - survive losing him Iz.” Alec whispers.

“Alec, you won’t lose him. He’s still here isn’t he?”

“Yeah but-“

“You need to give him the chance. Don’t push him away now, before showing you.”

“How can he even look at me Izzy? Why is he still here? What if I can’t give him more?”

“You need to realize that we aren’t seeing what you see. You’re looking at yourself through a stained mirror while we are looking at you… it might be a bit foggy, but we still see _you_.” She massages his scalp. “We’re still here because you’d do the same for us. You wouldn’t even think about, you’d react and it’d be done. As for giving him more… You have to see what happens as time passes. You don’t know the future. You don’t know if this is it for you, if this is your limit. And I have to say, I don’t think this is it. In any shape or form big brother. This is _not_ it for you.”

Alec looks at her and gives her a weak smile, “I love you Izzy.”

She smiles back, “I love you too.”

Alec sighs.

“Now will you tell me what happened?”

“It’s just - I’ve been thinking this stuff for awhile - and yesterday there were some clients - and they were talking about me - and said things - and it was just - too much.”

“Was Magnus there?”

Alec shakes his head, “No. He was getting something from his office.”

“Well you have to know they’d never have said anything if Magnus was there.”

“But they still said those things.”

“Because they’re ignorant, they don’t even _know_ what happened. I’m willing to bet they have no _clue_ as the what happened, why, or how. So why put weight in their words? They aren’t people that are important to you. You know who is important, who matters.”

She lowers his head and shoulders to her lap, and uses both hands to wipe off his cheeks. She brushes his hair off his forehead, “And you matter to _us_.”

Alec grasps her wrists lightly, eyes searching for truth in her words. Finding it he says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She pulls her wrists through his grasp until their hands are clasped together. “Feeling better?”

Alec gives her another weak smile, “A bit.”

Izzy huffs, and lightly thumps his chest, “Give me _some_ credit big brother.”

Alec rubs his eyes, and sighs. “Izzy. I don’t know what to do.”

She reaches out and cradles his cheek, “And that’s perfectly okay. You don’t have to know what to do all the time Alec.”

“I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“You’ll figure it out, and we’ll help.” She pats his chest lightly. “Now, I’m getting cold. Can we go inside?”

“Sorry.” Alec pulls himself from Izzy’s lap and stands up, helping Izzy stand also.

“It’s okay.” Izzy grabs Alec’s hand and leads them inside. The living room is empty, so she plops herself at the end of the couch and pulls Alec down next to her. She forces him to lay down with his head in her lap. “It’ll be okay big brother.”

She rests one hand on his side, and uses the other to massage his scalp. Alec quickly falls asleep.

—

Magnus had retreated to his office, and was finishing his third drink. Alec’s words were on loop in his head. How could his angel think those things? How could he help? He was trying, truly trying.

His ears perk up at the sound of a door closing and murmured voices. He stands up and abandons his drink on the desk. Padding down the hallway, he peeks into the living room. He sees Izzy sitting there with Alec laying across the sofa. 

Magnus steps fully into the room and meets Izzy’s eyes. Keeping his voice low, he asked, “How is he?”

Izzy watches as Magnus sits on the coffee table in front of her. She looks down at her brother, “He’s hurting Magnus.”

Magnus nods, snapping his fingers to summon a blanket for Alec. He clasps his hands together to stop himself from reaching out. “Do you need anything Isabelle?”

Izzy shakes her head. They sit in silence for awhile, watching Alec sleep. 

Magnus clears his throat, “Thank you for coming Izzy.”

“Magnus you didn’t even need to ask. We’re family.”

He gives her a small smile, then sobers, “Did he say what triggered this?”

Izzy frowned, “He was already thinking things, but apparently some clients were talking about him yesterday while they were waiting for you.”

Magnus bristles, and blue flames dance across his skin, “What?!”

“They were waiting for you and said some stuff, Alec didn’t say what, and it just made things worse.”

“When was this?”

“Yesterday? I think he said yesterday.” 

The flames turn orange as his anger strengthens, “Excuse me a moment.” He stands up. Izzy calls out to him as he strides from the room but he doesn’t respond.

Izzy waits, trapped on the couch by her sleeping brother. She could tell Magnus was angry, but doesn’t know what he was going to do. After a few minutes she can hear Magnus’ raised voice but can’t decipher the words since he was behind a closed door. She looked down at Alec to see if he would wake up, but he was still sleeping. Magnus’ voice lowers but has a deadly tone. After a few moments his voice cuts off, then there is a loud crash as something collides with the wall, or the floor, or some hard surface. Alec stirs slightly in her lap and she shushes him back to sleep.

—

The next few days Alec is quiet and withdrawn. Magnus often catches him staring off into space. Magnus tries all sorts of things to draw Alec’s attention, to make him smile, but gets nothing more than a small, momentary smile. He wracks his brain trying to find something to cheer Alec up. The morning of the third day an idea hits him. He retreats to his office and makes a phone call. It takes some convincing, but he’s able to talk his way into getting what he desires. Not at all surprising, he is the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all. 

Feeling quite pleased with himself, he goes in search of his angel and finds him in the living room.

“Alexander?”

“Hmm?” 

“I’ve volunteered us to watch a certain little someone for the last part of this morning, lunch and a little of the afternoon. Do you feel up to it?” Magnus notices the moment Alec tenses during his explanation. “It’s someone we know, and you like.”

“Who is it?”

“Can it be a surprise?” Magnus asks. “If not, I can tell you right now.”

Alec turns to look at Magnus and sees the hopeful expression on his face. Alec swallows down the anxiety, “Okay. I can wait. What are we going to do?”

“I have a few ideas. But we can talk once they get here and then decide?” 

Alec nods and turns back to looking out the windows.

About 15 minutes later there’s a knock on the door. Alec doesn’t move from the couch, and lets Magnus get the door. He hears the door open and a male voice he doesn’t recognize. Magnus and the male talk for a moment, then are interrupted by a young voice, “Is Mr. Alec here?”

Alec straightens in his seat, _Marina_?

He hears Magnus respond, “Yes sweetie, he’s in the living room. He hasn’t been feeling well. Will you help me make him feel better?”

“Mr. Bane you need _my_ help?” Marina responds, wonder in her voice.

“Yes I do.”

“Mr. Bane you’re so sparkly today!”

Magnus laughs, and Alec laughs to himself.

Alec hears the male voice, it must be Kenton Marina’s father, discuss something with Magnus before goodbyes are exchanged and the door is closed.

“Can we go see Mr. Alec now?”

“Of course little one. Right this way.”

Alec watches as Magnus comes into view, holding Marina’s hand. Her face lights up when she sees him, her scales twinkle in the light. She lets go of Magnus’ hand and runs over to Alec’s side.

“Mr. Alec!”

A smile breaks out on his face, “Hi Marina.”

She climbs onto the couch and kneels at his side, “Are you sick? Mr. Bane says you’re sick.”

“Yeah.”

Marina frowns and reaches out to feel his forehead with her small hand. Her face is serious when she turns to Magnus, “He’s sick. He needs ice cream.”

Magnus smirks, “Oh really?”

Marina nods, “Really!”

She turns back to Alec and winks exaggeratedly. 

“Well we can’t argue with Marina, right Alexander?”

Alec smiles again, “No we can’t. You’ll have to get me some ice cream.” He looks at Marina and whispers, “What kind should we get?”

Marina takes a moment to decide then whispers back, “Cookies and cream.”

Alec nods, then looks at Magnus, “I want cookies and cream.”

Magnus waves his hands trailing blue flames of magic and a cup of ice cream appears on the coffee table with two spoons. Magnus lifts the cup and seats himself on the edge of the coffee table facing Marina and Alec. He holds the cup out, the spoons facing them. He motions towards the spoons. Marina eagerly takes one and hands the other to Alec.

“Mr. Alec is sick so he gets to go first.” Marina explains in a serious tone.

“Quite right, that’s only fair.” Magnus agrees.

They both look at Alec who flushes but reaches out with his spoon to get some ice cream. Once he’s eaten it, Marina takes her turn, humming at the taste. She looks at Alec expectantly. Alec realizes it’s his turn. He scoops a piece of ice cream. They take a few more turns until Alec interrupts, “We should share with Mr. Bane, shouldn’t we?”

Marina looks at Magnus sheepishly, “Sorry Mr. Bane. I forgotted.”

Magnus smiles broadly, “That’s quite alright. I don’t have a spoon.”

Flushing, Alec scoops a bit of ice cream and holds the spoon out for Magnus. Magnus meets his eyes for a few moments, questioning. At Alec’s nod, Magnus leans forward and closes his mouth around the spoon, getting the ice cream.

“Good sharing Mr. Alec. My daddy says it important to share.” She helps herself to more ice cream.

Magnus and Alec reinforce sharing of course, with Alec feeding Magnus a few more times before the ice cream is finished. Magnus magics the cup and spoons away.

Alec looks down fondly at Marina and takes in her outfit. A long purple tunic, blue leggings and purple rain boots. She turns to him, a big smile on her face. The weight that has been smothering him eases slightly.

“Mr. Alec, we should go outside.”

“Yeah?”

She nods passionately, “It was raining, so there’s _puddles_!”

“Puddles?” Alec asks, looking at Magnus confused. “What do you do with puddles?”

Her eyes widen and she looks at Magnus, “Mr. Bane we _have_ to go now. We have to show him!”

Magnus smiles, “Alexander, we need to go outside. Just for a bit. It’s very important.”

Alec looks between Marina and Magnus, “What, puddles?”

Magnus nods. He stands and holds out his hands, one for each of them. Marina takes one and Alec takes the other. They get to their feet. Magnus summons shoes for Alec which he gets on quickly. Magnus pulls them to the open area and opens a portal. “Ready?” He squeezes Alec’s hand. Marina holding tightly to Alec’s fingers. Alec nods. The three step through.

They land in the alley next to the building.

Marina jumps up and down, tugging on Alec’s fingers, “Mr. Alec lets go!” She tugs him forward. He limps after her, Magnus following.

Exiting the alley Alec sees puddles all over. As they neared one Marina pulled on Alec’s fingers, “Mr. Alec! We need to splash!”

Alec looked at Magnus in confusion before looking back at Marina, “What?” 

He let her pull him closer to the puddle. With a great hop Marina landed in the puddle and the water splashed everywhere. Alec looked down, dumbfounded at the water on his lower legs and shoes. He glances at Marina, sees her face and they both burst out laughing. Once they recover Marina steps out of the puddle and pulls on Alec’s fingers again, “Your turn.”

Alec shakes his head, “I don’t need a turn.”

“But Mr. Alec!”

Magnus jumps in, “Alexander it’s important to take turns.”

Alec glares half heartedly at him. He sighs as he turns back to Marina, “Okay. What do I do?”

“You jump really high into the puddle and make a big splash!” She uses her arms to emphasize how high and how big. She clasps her hands tightly against her chest in excitement.

Alec hops once in place trying to see how to get his leg to go along with the new movement. Now ready, he hops into the puddle and makes a splash.

Marina claps her hands and jumps up and down, squealing in glee. Magnus laughs, and Alec joins him. Marina grabs Alec’s fingers and pulls him to the next one. They take turns making splashes, and eventually do a few together. Alec tries to convince Magnus to do it once but he just points at his shoes, “Suede darling. No can do.”

Alec rolls his eyes but continues with Marina. Magnus is happy to just watch Marina’s open glee, and how it was rubbing off on Alec. He was actually smiling, with laughter escaping at times. This was exactly what Alec needed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not in total love with this chapter, but here it is. And PentaholicOperaStarr, I still have the job discussion, it just keeps getting pushed back a chapter. So I hope it'll be up in one of the next few.
> 
> Comments are love.

After much puddle splashing the trio return to the loft. Alec toes his boots off next to the door. With a ‘please’ and puppy eyes, Marina convinces Alec to help her get her boots off. Magnus smirks at how quickly she has Alec under her spell. Bouncing up to her feet Marina barely waits for Alec to set her boots aside before grabbing his fingers and pulling him back to the living room. Magnus follows with a chuckle. Marina sits Alec down where she wants and climbs up next to him. She plops down with a sigh, brushing her hair out of her face. She looks up at Alec and asks, “Are you all better now Mr. Alec?”

Alec gives her a small smile, “Yes. Thank you.”

Marina gives a curt nod, “Good. Being sick is yucky.”

Magnus sits on Alec’s other side, “Are you two hungry?”

Marina claps her hands, “Yes Mr. Bane.”

Alec shrugs, “A little.”

Magnus directs his attention to Marina, “What would you like to eat little one?”

Marina’s glamour drops as she concentrates on what she wants. “Mac and cheese!”

Alec smiles, “Good choice.” He looks at Magnus and quirks his brow.

“Alright, Mac and cheese coming up.” Magnus flicks his hand in the air and serving dishes appear on the dining room table.

They all settle at the table, Marina kneeling since she’s too small otherwise. Alec helps serve her and she licks her lips.

“Yummy.” She munches happily as Magnus and Alec serve themselves and begin eating.

They all enjoy their meal. Too soon it’s over and Marina’s dad arrives to pick her up.

Marina stands at Alec’s side pouting, holding his fingers tightly, “But daddy! I was taking care of Mr. Alec. He was sick. I don’t wanna go yet.”

Alec smiles down at her while Kenton speaks up, “Marina darling, if he isn’t feeling well, he’ll need some rest too. He can’t do that with you around.”

“Oh.” Marina sighs and looks up at Alec. “You’ll rest now, right Mr. Alec?”

Alec runs a hand over her head, “Yes Marina.”

“Good.” She reluctantly releases his hand and moves to her father’s side.

“Thank you Kenton for letting us borrow Marina for awhile. She kept us busy.”

Kenton nodded, “Of course Mr. Bane. Anything you need.” He picks Marina up and settles her on his hip, “We’ll take your leave now. Thank you.”

“Bye Mr. Bane! Bye Mr. Alec!” Marina waves her hand enthusiastically, forgetting to pout about leaving.

Alec and Magnus both smile and wave back.

After Marina leaves both Alec and Magnus settle on the couch. Magnus leaves space between, not sure if Alec wanted contact yet. Alec had been very conscious of his space since his episode with Magnus, then Izzy. To Magnus’ surprise, Alec moves closer until they are almost touching.

“Mags?”

“Yes darling?”

Alec turns to look into Magnus’ eyes, “Thank you. For Marina, for caring, for loving me. Just… Thank you.”

Magnus sighs, reaching out to cradle Alec’s cheek, “Alexander, I just want you to feel better, good, happy even. I know it’ll be a bumpy road, but we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Alec grasps Magnus’ wrist lightly with one hand and leans into Magnus’ hand. His eyes twinkle in the light, “I love you Mags.”

“And I you angel.”

—

That evening preparing for bed, Alec waits for Magnus under the covers. He smiles fondly when Magnus exits the bathroom and comes to lay next to him.

Magnus smiles back, “Hi darling. How’re you?”

Alec rolls his eyes, “We were literally talking not even 5 minutes ago Mags.”

Magnus chuckles, “True.”

They settle down and Magnus magics the lights off. Magnus is on his back, Alec curled against his side, Alec’s head on Magnus’ chest.

“Mags?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we have Izzy and Jace over for dinner or something?”  
“Of course, you don’t need to ask.”

“But I was thinking…”

“Yes angel?”

“Maybe we could go for ice cream after.

“Go?”

“Yes, go out somewhere… They don’t know I’ve gone out a few times… We always used to stop at La Michuacana for ice cream whenever we were close by. Maybe you could take us there?”

Magnus smiles into the darkness and presses a kiss to Alec’s head, “Of course darling. That’s a wonderful idea.”

“I just think… it’s time.”

“Time for what Alexander?”

“Time to get comfortable outside around people again… Or as much as I can.”

“Just don’t push yourself too quickly okay? It’s okay at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”

Magnus feels Alec nod his head against his chest. Magnus squeezes Alec tightly for a moment, enjoying this moment of peace. After a few minutes he thinks Alec has fallen asleep, then Alec speaks up.

“Mags?”

He hums in response.

“I love you.”

“I love you angel. What’s the saying… more than then moon and the stars!”

Alec huffs a laugh against Magnus’ chest.

“Sweet dreams love.”

“Good night.”

—

A few nights later:

The doorbell buzzes as Alec readies the plates for dinner.

“I’ll get it darling.” Magnus calls.

Alec hears the door open, then Jace’s voice, followed by Izzy’s. Finished, he sets down the pans and wipes his hands. He heads to the foyer to greet Jace and Izzy. Izzy jumps on Alec, squeezing him tight. Alec hugs her back, lightly patting her back. Jace laughs and envelops both of them in his arms. After a quick squeeze he steps back and pulls Izzy off Alec, “Enough Iz.”

Izzy laughs, “Sorry.”

Alec rubs the back of his neck, “It’s okay.”

Magnus claps his hands, “I believe Alexander has just finished serving. So the food is ready. Shall we?” He waves towards the dining room.

Izzy’s heels click on the hardwood floor, “Where did you order from?”

“Alexander cooked actually.”

Alec feels a blush creep up his cheeks as both Jace and Izzy turn to him.

Jace pats Alec’s arm, “Thanks Alec.”

Izzy grins, “It smells wonderful big brother.”

They head to the dining room and seat Izzy and Jace. Alec serves the food while Magnus takes care of the drinks. Once seated they all dig in. Alec flushes at the pleased sounds coming from around the table. He settles as conversation starts up. Magnus regales them with stories of the various clients he’s seen, and then Magnus and Izzy get into a discussion on fashion. When that happened Alec and Jace shared a smile and shrug. Eventually the talk circles to Alec.

“Anything new for you?” Jace asks.

“I’ve - uh - I’ve gone out - a few times.” Alec shares, looking at his plate. He glances up and is blinded by the smiles of his siblings across the table.

“That’s great big brother!” Izzy exclaims, clapping her hands together.

Jace nods, “Where have you gone?”

Alec pushes his food with his fork, “Just to the bakery, and outside here.”

Magnus jumps in, “He also made a new friend. She’s quite darling.”

Jace arches his brow and Izzy’s smile gets even bigger. Izzy is the one who orders Alec to share more information, “Tell me about her!”

Alec looks at his plate again, then looks up at Magnus taking his hand in his own. Alec gives Magnus a small smile then turns back to Jace and Izzy, “Her name is Marina. She’s a warlock.”

Izzy makes an encouraging noise as she eats for Alec to continue.

“She’s really sweet, and she must be… what… 4?” Alec asks Magnus.

“I think that’s about right.” Magnus smiles.

“That’s so cute!” Izzy gushes. “What does she look like?”

Alec smiles at his little sister, “She has caramel skin and blue eyes. Straight black hair which falls in her eyes a lot. And she has beautiful blue and green scales on her cheeks and neck.” He looks at his plate as he finishes, “She’s beautiful.”

Magnus squeezes his hand as Izzy ‘awwww’s. Jace, also smiling, questions, “What have you been doing?”

“I only met her last week. A few days ago Magnus brought her over - I was in - a funk. Anyway… She uh, “ Alec clears his throat, “She made me eat ice cream and then showed me what puddles are for.” He laughs, Magnus joining in.

Jace arches his brow, sharing a confused look with Izzy, “Puddles?”

Alec spears some food on his fork, “I didn’t understand at first, but apparently puddles are meant for jumping and splashing.”

Magnus takes over the explanation, “Kids like to jump in puddles to make it splash all over. Marina really enjoyed showing Alec.”

Seeing the still quizzical looks on his siblings, Alec clarifies, “You have to see it yourself. It was fun.”

Alec takes another bite of food, leaving Magnus to keep the conversation going. As everyone finishes their meal Alec speaks up, “So, for dessert. I was thinking we could - we could go get ice cream? At The Michuacana.”

Izzy squeals her agreement and Jace just smiles, “Great idea Alec.”

They clean the table and take everything to the kitchen before Magnus creates a portal and they land a few buildings down from the ice cream store. Faint music is drifting in the air. Izzy’s heels click against the cement as she exits the alley and sways her body to the tune. Magnus follows, Alec holding his hand and right behind him. Magnus gives a shimmy with his hips and Alec laughs, tightening his hold on Magnus’ hand. He didn’t usually keep his hold on Magnus in public, but he felt light tonight. He was with the people he loved. Izzy turned to shuffle backwards, singing along to the music and motioning at Magnus to join. He rocks side to side and joins Izzy singing. Alec hears Jace groan at their antics. It just makes him laugh louder, throwing his head back. He can feel the eyes of the other people in the vicinity, but it doesn’t bother him, knowing the attention was on his siblings and Magnus.

“Join in Jace, you know you want to!” Izzy calls from in front where she has paused. Magnus turns back to Alec and Jace, smiling. The song changes into an upbeat single. 

Jace sighs and sings the first line, then motions back to Izzy and Magnus. They start moving forward again, grooving to the beat. Alec just enjoys the way they vibe, Jace joining in a little during the chorus.

They quiet down when they reach the ice cream store. Entering, the song is louder inside. They all keep moving slightly along with the beat while they wait in line, all smiles. 

“What are you going to get big brother?” Izzy asks as she peeks in the display cases.

“Yeah, Alec, are you just going to be boring like usual?” Jace prods.

“Boring?” Inquires Magnus.

Alec leans into Magnus’ side, “Because I always get vanilla.”

Magnus ‘ahhh’s in response.

Alec squeezes Magnus’ hand, “What are you going to get?”

Magnus smiles fondly at Alec, “Maybe strawberry?”

Jace shakes his head, “Gotta go with mango!”

Izzy pushes her hair back over her shoulder, “Pineapple boys, pineapple.”

They make it to the cashier, pay and get their individual ice creams.

Jace takes a big spoonful of the ice cream and moans at the taste.

Alec smirks as Magnus makes a disgusted sound, “Jace. We are _not_ interested in hearing your love affair with mangoes.”

Jace just laughs and holds out a spoonful, “You’d be doing the same if you tasted this.” He offers the spoonful to the other three who all turn him down. He shrugs, “Your loss.”

They exit the shop and choose one of the outdoor tables. Izzy and Magnus give each other tastes of their flavor. Magnus humming in appreciation. He even insists on a sample of Alec’s plain vanilla, to which Alec gives in with a roll of his eyes. The four chat and laugh as they finish their ice cream. After disposing of the containers and spoons, they make their way back to the alley. Alec smiles the whole way, hand in hand with Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I downloaded some new music this afternoon and am in a dancing mood so had to include some moves for Izzy and Magnus. They'd definitely not be self-conscious about dancing in public. Even if they're just being silly.  
> *sigh*
> 
> Anyone have a song they are loving right now?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday! :) As such, I'm going against the grain and giving YOU the gift. 
> 
> Discussion of Alec's future and some parabatai feels. 
> 
> Enjoy. Comments make my life!!!

A few days later:

“Magnus!” Alec calls through the loft from the kitchen.

Magnus exits his office, and heads to the kitchen, “Yes darling?” He steps into the kitchen and widens his eyes. His angel was going all out for this dinner. The stove had all of its burners going, the countertop full of ingredients and various mixes.

Alec turns to Magnus in the doorway, his hands run through his hair and down over his neck. “What was I thinking?”

Magnus notes the worry in Alec’s body language, in his slight frown, “I’m sure you’re doing just fine.” 

Alec huffs. Magnus walks up to Alec, reaching out and pulling Alec close by the hips, “Why are you worried?”

Alec rests his forehead against Magnus’ shoulder, “I don’t if I can do this.” 

Magnus rubs his hands up and down Alec’s back, “Why not?”

“It’s just… Izzy and Jace are sometimes too much, but now Clary and Simon are coming. I don’t know if I can do this Mags.” Alec takes a deep breath in to continue but is cut off by Magnus.

“Angel, yes it’s two more people than you’ve dealt with yet, but you’re doing fabulously both in general and with this food.” He lowers his voice and whispers, “It smells delicious.”

At the mention of food Alec stands up and turns quickly back to the stove to check on it. As he stirs and mixes he continues, “What if they don’t like the food? Or they get bored? I’m not a talker. What if I get too anxious and can’t handle it? What will they think?”

Magnus encircles Alec with his arms from behind, “Alexander, we’ll take the evening as it comes. It’s okay however you feel and need to handle it. And as for being a talker, you haven’t ever been one darling.” 

Alec relaxes a little in Magnus’ embrace, “I guess that’s true.” He feels Magnus smile against his shoulder.

“Do you need help?”

Alec shakes his head, “No I’m fine.”

“I’m going to check the bar’s stock, have to make sure we have the variety and quality one associates with my name.”

Alec laughs, “Of course.”

—

The dinner goes off without a hitch, Izzy, Jace, Clary and Simon all enjoying their food (or blood). The others don’t single Alec out for attention which helps lower Alec’s anxiety. Magnus’ hand in his keeps him anchored and calm. He slowly relaxes as time passes. He doesn’t jump into conversation, just answers a question here or there. 

After dinner everyone gathers around the coffee table in the living room. They claim wherever they can sit, the couch, the chairs, the floor, the arms of the chairs. They squeeze in, as Magnus serves everyone drinks. Chatter fills the air, interspersed with glasses clinking, laughter floating through the air in spurts. 

This, _this_ is what he’s been missing Alec realizes. The camaraderie, the relaxed atmosphere, the easy smiles. He sips at his drink, waiting on the sofa for Magnus to join him. As his eyes trail over everyone, a small smile quirks his lips. His nerves are still there, and he’s very aware of everyone’s proximity. But it seems like everyone has realized or knows not to crowd him. His eyes meet Magnus’ and he smiles just a little wider, loving the golden cat eyes looking back at him. Magnus smiles wide right back, and Alec feels a blush tinge his cheeks. Magnus’ smile turns to a knowing smirk and he winks. Alec glances away, checking if anyone was watching. He meets Jace’s eyes, but Jace just smiles at him and turns back to Izzy. Alec lets out a breath and looks back at Magnus who is making his way back to Alec’s side. The chatting continues, Alec relaxes a bit when no one corners him into conversation. He just listens to the symphony of words surrounding him.

Magnus ends up talking to Simon, Alec only half listening, when Simon addresses him, “Hey Alec?”

Alec tenses slightly and feels Magnus squeeze his hand, “Yeah?”

“Have you thought about what you want to do?”

The room has quieted and everyone is listening now. Alec shrugs and tries to cover his sudden anxiety by taking a sip of his drink.

Clary jumps in, “There’s so much you could do. What do you like? There’s a job for almost anything these days.” She moves from the arm of Jace’s chair to Jace’s lap.

Sensing Alec’s nerves, Izzy offers, “You’re good with kids.”

Alec looks up at her, “I’ve only dealt with you, Jace and Max.”

Jace shakes his head, “You’ve interacted with quite a few and they’re always in awe of you. You’re good with them.”

Alec rubs his thumb against his glass, “I guess.”

Simon crosses his legs and leans forward, “What about animals?”

Magnus’ thumb rubs against Alec’s hand, “You enjoy animals. You’re good with them.”

Alec nods, anxiety constricting his chest. He tries to breathe through it and uses Magnus as an anchor.

“Well..” Izzy pauses, “you love archery. You could do something with that.”

Magnus smiles and looks at Alec, “That’s very true.”

“I’m sure there are archery camps, or a place that does archery where you could do lessons?” Simon adds.

Alec fiddles with Magnus’ rings as he nods.

“You’d be really good at that Alec.” Jace adds.

Clary smiles down at Jace, and pats her hand on his chest, “I agree.”

Jace smiles up at her and Alec can see the love Jace has for Clary in his eyes. He looks back at Magnus, finding comfort in the gold shining back at him. He releases a breath and his chest loosens. He catches Magnus motioning something to Simon with his hand. Simon’s brow furrows for a few moments before he understands. Alec has no idea what Magnus just indicated.

Simon downs the rest of the blood in his glass and thuds it down on the coffee table, “Game time.”

Everyone murmurs their agreement and they sift through the games, choosing one to start.

__

After everyone leaves for the night Magnus and Alec settle on the couch.

Magnus takes a sip of his drink, then swirls it in the glass, “That went well darling.”

Alec hums in agreement, too content for words at the moment. Magnus smiles down at his love, tucked under his arm and against his side. They snuggle together for a few minutes. Magnus magics away his glass when he finishes. Alec absently twirls one of Magnus’ rings around.

“Did you like any of the suggestions?” Magnus asks.

“For what?”

“For what you could do.”

“I - I kind of liked - maybe archery, teaching kids? I mean - it depends on if I can even hold a bow anymore. But - I think I’d like that.”

Magnus smiles and kisses Alec’s head, “I’m glad you’re thinking of it. I think you would be marvelous darling.”

“Could you - maybe - get me a bow?” Alec whispers, still fiddling with Magnus’ rings. Magnus chest warms, his angel rarely asked for anything.

“Of course darling.”

“I don’t need anything fancy Mags. Just a basic one.” Alec rushes to specify before Magnus can do something extravagant. He sits up to look at Magnus’ eyes, “I’m serious.”

Magnus frowns dramatically, “Just when I was getting a good idea.”

Alec rolls his eyes and settles back against Magnus’ side. He mumbles, “It might be a waste of money. I might not be able to hold it securely enough to shoot.”

Magnus rubs Alec’s side with his hand, “I have faith in you. I’m sure you’ll get there, if you aren’t already.”

Alec sighs, “I guess we’ll see.”

Magnus hugs Alec tightly for a moment, “I’ll make one of the extra rooms into a practice area for you. However you want it.”

“Thank you Mags.”

“You’re welcome love.” Magnus stands and offers his hand to Alec, “Now how about we head to bed?”

Alec nods and lets Magnus pull him to his feet. Magnus presses a kiss to Alec’s lips. They head off to the bedroom.

—

Convincing Magnus to take outside appointments was difficult. Alec ended up having to agree to Magnus’ requirement that someone stay with him the first few visits. Thankfully, Izzy and Jace were more than willing. Jace took the first day. Without Magnus to portal them, they had to use the stairs, which ended up frustrating Alec since he had yet to deal with more than two or three stairs. He felt like a child learning to walk trying to maneuver himself down. Jace was overly patient which just made Alec cranky. The bad mood passed quickly once they got outside and headed to the park.

“How’s it going with Magnus?” Jace asks.

Alec shrugs, hands in his pockets, “Okay I guess.”

Jace looks at him with an eyebrow raised, “You guess?”

Alec’s eyes focus on the ground, “It’s just…” Alec searches for words. Jace waits patiently.

Alec takes a deep breath and lets the words spill out of his mouth, “I don’t want him to see. We’ve been kissing but that’s it. I know he wants more, and I want more. But I don’t want him to see.” He briefly runs his hand over his chest.

Jace stops and lays his hand on Alec’s arm, causing him to stop as well. “Alec, Magnus loves you. And when it first happened…” He looks away briefly then looks back at Alec, “Magnus was the one there, all the time. He never left your side. Not once. I know he only did when someone forced him to. He’s seen the scars, back when they were fresh. He knows they’re there Alec.”

Alec’s cheeks redden and he crosses his arms tight against his chest, “But that was before they healed. Now they’re permanent. They didn’t go away. What if…” Alec clears his throat, “What if he sees-“ His voice quiets to a pained whisper, “sees and changes his mind?”

Jace, confused, parrots, “Changes his mind?”

Alec nods and mumbles, “What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

Jace shakes his head sharply, “That would never happen Alec. He _loves_ you.”

Alec looks at Jace through his lashes, not raising his head.

Jace imitates Alec’s stance and crosses his arms, “You don’t see how he looks at you. How he took care of you. He loves you, however you come to him.”

“I’m - _damaged goods_ Jace.”

Jace forces his instant anger at the words down, knowing it would only make Alec feel worse. He takes a few deep breaths, “Alec you are _not_ damaged goods.”

“He loved me back when I was whole. When I was a -“ he swallows and forces out the next word, “shadowhunter. When you were my parabatai. When I could fight, move, go out…” His voice fades into silence.

Jace lightly grasps Alec’s forearm, “You are still you. Everyone changes as time passes. And we - we are still parabatai.”

Alec’s eyes lock with Jace’s, “What do you mean? - We - we don’t have the - connection anymore. My rune is gone.”

Jace’s voice is firm when he responds, “Even without your rune we are parabatai. They may have taken the physical bond we felt, but we will always be parabatai. I am part of you and you are part of me. Remember our vow?”

Alec nods.

“Only death will break our bond. They can’t take that away from us, no matter how hard they try.”

Alec blinks away tears, sniffling. He looks away, embarrassed with his emotions.

“Hey.” Jace whispers, bring Alec’s gaze back to him. “It happened no matter how much I wish I could change that. I would change places with you in a heart beat Alec. I never wanted you to go through anything like this.”

“You couldn’t have done anything. And you tried.”

“Alec I felt - I felt everything they did to you.” 

Alec’s eyes widen, but before he can speak Jace continues, “But I know it was just a weak echo of what you were going through. You are so strong to still be here after that. Magnus sees that strength. The scars - the scars are just a physical reminder of your strength.”

“I’ve heard - what some people say about me.”

Jace cocks his head in question.

“I’m not deaf Jace.” Alec huffs out. “I can hear the whispers when I’m out.”

“They don’t know the whole story Alec, they just repeat what they hear to entertain each other. You know how gossip is.”

“It’s not just the shadow world Jace. Even _mundanes_ talk about me.”

Jace shakes his head and sighs, “Even mundanes talk Alec. I don’t pretend to know how they think, but I’m sure they gossip just like everyone else.”

Alec pulls away from Jace and starts walking again, Jace catching up to his side.

“Alec, Magnus isn’t like the those people. You know that right? No one would dare talk about you in front of him. He’d strike them down.”

Alec smiles at the image of Magnus’ wrath, “Yeah. I know.”

“So he won’t be thinking about the scars. He’ll be thinking about _you_. Only about you.”

“I guess.”

“You’ll see.”

After a few minutes of silence Jace speaks up, “Shall we head back?”

Alec nods, “Yeah.”

As they start making their way back to the loft Alec whispers, “Thank you Jace.”

Jace puts an arm around him, “Anytime Alec. I love you man.”

“Love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: Omg 2x18 killed me. The Malec moments were flawless


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sibling bonding and a little something for you
> 
> As I read another author note: Comments are worshipped!

Why did he let Izzy talk him into this? He sighs as he walks next to Izzy into the store. She had convinced him to let her get him some new shirts, to ‘brighten up his wardrobe’, and ‘Magnus will like it.’ That sold him, anything for Magnus. He figures he can live with a little color in his clothes. 

Izzy drags him to the men’s section, perusing the selection. Alec follows her, feeling lost among the vast number of items. Izzy pauses frequently at different items and Alec tries to figure out what drew her attention, but fails. Fashion is really not his thing. He doesn’t remember the last time he went shopping, and when he still shopped for himself it was the same things at the same store for years. 

They end up by sweaters and long sleeved shirts and Izzy starts talking to Alec about colors and styles. It goes over his head but he still tries to listen to what she says. He watches as she grabs a few colored sweaters and shirts. While she does grab one or two black ones, the rest are colors, some bright. She holds some up to his face, to which he makes a confused face, what does that help with?

“This one makes your eyes pop Alec. Definite yes.”

Alec nods, not understanding how eyes could ‘pop.’ To be honest he some of them nice, and they were soft. As Izzy continues to debate Alec wanders further into the men’s section. He finds himself in a section that seems made for Magnus. His eyes, followed by his fingers, trail over different tops. He finds himself smiling, imaging the different colors against Magnus’ skin. He lingers over a maroon top with gold embellishments. 

“Alec?” Izzy calls.

“Here Iz.” Alec answers.

Izzy finds him still looking at the top. She hums her approval and runs her fingers over it. “That’s nice big brother. I think Magnus would love it.”

“Yeah? I don’t know what size though.” He sighs.

Izzy sifts through the sizes and pulls out a medium, “I think this would be about right.”

Alec nods and takes the hangar from Izzy. Then turns his attention to the pile of clothes in her arms. His eyes widen, “Izzy, I don’t need that many shirts!”

Izzy laughs and grabs his cheek, “Yes you do. You need variety and options. You can’t wear variations of the same thing over and over again. Spice it up _hermano_!”

“I’m not going to get you to put some back, will I.” Alec says, resigned. 

Izzy shakes her head, hugging the pile with both arms. “Come on Alec. Time to check out and go to the next store.”

“Next store? How many are we going to?” Alec inquires worriedly.

“Until I’m satisfied.”

“Izzy…” Alec huffs.

“Just come on.” She grabs he free hand and drags him to the front of the store.

—

Alec’s hands are full of bags from the various stores Izzy has taken him to. He’s not sure there’s even room in the closet for all of these things, but Izzy disregards his concerns. Entering another store, he notices there are no clothes in this one. He looks at Izzy, quirking a brow.

“I just want to see some things.” Izzy responds, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. 

As he follows his sister, Alec notices the various products are types of make up. He perks up at the thought of getting something for Magnus. When Izzy comes to a stop in aisle with eyeshadow on each side, Alec looks at the colors. He sets the bags down, and reaches out to look at a few darker red ones. Izzy watches him and smiles. After looking at a few different ones he finds one that seems to match the maroon of the top he bought. 

“Izzy? This matches the shirt I got Magnus right?”

Izzy looks closely and nods, “Yes.”

Alec looks pleased as he holds on to the eye shadow. After finishing the section in front of him, he turns to the other side of the aisle and starts looking there. His eyes linger over a rich light blue. He picks it up to look closer, then holds it out to Izzy, “Do you think he’d like this one?”

Izzy purrs, “Yes, that one is beautiful!”

As Izzy moves on, Alec picks the bags back up while holding onto his selections for Magnus. When they reach the nail polish section Alec’s eyes widen, he never imagined there’d be that many different colors to choose from. Izzy laughs at his expression.

“Why don’t you see if you can find one that matches each eyeshadow you picked?” Izzy suggests.

Alec nods, pleased with the idea. He sets down the bags and starts searching for something similar to what he had picked out. He ends up successful. While Izzy buys a greater number of items, Alec is more than pleased with his four things. 

—

When Izzy finally declared the shopping trip finished, Alec was exhausted, his hip and leg starting to complain. Thankful for Magnus’ portals, they don’t have to make the long trip home. When Izzy and Alec step through the portal into the loft Magnus laughs at the number of bags Alec is carrying.

“Fruitful outing it seems.” He jokes.

Alec smiles, sets down the bags and goes to Magnus, pressing a kiss on his lips. Izzy recounts their adventures, where they went, and what she selected for Alec. Magnus listens, while Alec tunes her out, not understanding half the things his sister is talking about. He hugs Magnus close and rests his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck and shoulder. He takes in the scent of his boyfriend, letting it soothe his tiredness.

He focuses when he hears Izzy call his name. He releases Magnus and turns to her. She holds out her arms out and gives him a hug.

“Thank you for coming with me big brother.”

“It was fun.” He starts, then amends it at Izzy’s raised eyebrow, “A little maybe.”

Izzy laughs and ruffles his hair, “Love you.”

He gives her a quick squeeze before releasing her, “Me too.”

Izzy says goodbye to Magnus and takes two bags with her back to the Institute through the portal.

Alec turns to Magnus, “Am I an awful brother if I say I’m glad it’s over?”

Magnus throws his head back and laughs. Once he calms, he wipes his eyes and responds, “No Alexander, not at all.”

Alec moves over to the bags and digs around to the large bag and small bag with the gifts for Magnus. He moves back to Magnus’ side and holds out the one large and one small bag, “I got a few things for you.” He points to the larger bag, “Open that one first.”

Magnus beams and sets the small bag down and opens the large one. He pulls out the maroon shirt with gold, his eyes grow fond as he runs the fabric through his fingers. He smiles up at Alec and presses a kiss to his lips, “It’s beautiful darling. Thank you.”

“Are you sure you like it? We can return it if it’s not your thing.” Alec offers.

Magnus shakes his head, “It’s just perfect. Thank you for thinking of me.” He shakes a finger at Alec, “It was supposed to be all about you though.”

Alec shrugs, “I couldn’t _not_ think about you.” He takes the large bag and shirt away from Magnus and hands him the small bag. “Now this one.”

Magnus opens the bag and un wraps the first combo of eyeshadow and nail polish, the maroon ones. He smiles as he turns them to see the color better.

Alec flushes, “To match the shirt.”

“Oh Alexander.” Magnus says.

Before he can say more Alec interrupts him, motioning for him to open the last bundle. Magnus does and sees the blue.

“Beautiful choices darling.”

Alec looks at the floor and says, “They made me think of you.” He raises his eyes to Magnus’ face, “I know you might have that color already, but I had to bring it to you.”

Magnus sets the bag and items down and cups Alec’s face with his hands, “Thank you.” He presses another kiss to Alec’s lips, “I love you.”

Alec replies in a firm voice, “I love you Mags.”

Magnus pulls back and claps his hands, “Now let’s see what dear Isabelle picked out for you!”

Alec groans and runs his hand over his face, “There’s too much. There’s no way we have space for everything!”

Magnus laughs and pats Alec’s arm, “Darling, I’m a warlock. I can fix that with a snap of my fingers.” He winks at Alec, causing a flush to redden Alec’s cheeks.

They sit down on the couch and go through the bags, Magnus piling the items neatly on the coffee table. Alec watches Magnus’ face closely when he evaluates each item. Somehow Izzy had gotten even more than Alec remembers seeing in her arms. Magnus approves each item, joking at the end, “I knew your sister had good taste.”

Alec smiles and snuggles into Magnus’ side.

—

Magnus cradles Alec’s face with his hands, and pulls him closer. Their lips meet and pause, touching each other. Magnus’ tongue licks along the seam of Alec’s lips. With a sigh, Alec parts and lets Magnus in. Their tongues tangle slowly, relearning each other’s ridges and curves. Magnus nips at Alec’s bottom lip, eliciting a shiver. Magnus pulls until Alec is straddling him. Magnus runs his thumbs over Alec’s cheekbones. When it catches on the scar, Alec pauses and pulls back. He searches Magnus’ eyes with his own. Sensing Alec’s need, Magnus lets his glamour fall, his golden green cat eyes now visible. Alec quirks a small smile and leans back in to kiss Magnus. 

Magnus’ hands tangle in Alec’s hair, pulling and kneading. Alec’s hands fall to Magnus’ waist and his fingers smooth over the strip of skin exposed where Magnus’ shirt has rucked up slightly. Alec slips his fingers under the shirt’s hem, running the pads of his fingers over the unmarred skin underneath. He feels Magnus’ muscles twitch under his fingertips.

Magnus’ hands fall to Alec’s shoulders and down the arms of his long-sleeved sweater. Arriving at Alec’s wrists, Magnus pushes the sleeves up slightly. Alec pulls his arms back and breaks the kiss. He looks down at Magnus’ hands on his wrists, then looks back up at Magnus’ eyes. He takes a deep breath and whispers, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Magnus echoes.

Alec nods and leans back in to the kiss. Hyperaware, Alec feels as Magnus uncovers his forearms and Magnus’ fingers rub over the exposed skin.  It soothes him back into focusing on the kiss.

Coming up for breath Magnus whispers, “I love you.”

Alec chases Magnus’ lips and catches them. On a breath he says, “I love you too.”

Before he can lose the fearlessness momentarily in control, Alec puts his hands down to the hem of his shirt. With a deep breath, he pulls it up and off, throwing it off to the side. Unable to let Magnus’ eyes linger, Alec leans back in and tangles their tongues back together. Magnus breaks the kiss momentarily to get his own top off, then leans back in. Alec’s hands explore the smooth expanse of Magnus’ skin. A smile quirking his lips at the shivers he elicits from his warlock.

Magnus’ hands start at Alec’s hips, then begin mapping the pale skin beneath his fingers. He deepens the kiss and pulls Alec towards him, pressing their chest together. A quiet moan escapes Alec’s lips at the sensation of skin on skin. It’s been so long, and he didn’t think he’d ever get to have this again.

Magnus’ hands flutter and run over Alec’s back and shoulders, feeling the muscles rippling underneath. He moves his mouth to place kisses along Alec’s jaw, then starts on Alec’s neck. He nips at the sensitive spot behind Alec’s ear, and then makes his way down Alec’s neck licking and nipping. Alec bites his lip to stop the moans escaping his mouth. Magnus goes back to Alec’s ear to whisper, “Let me hear you.”

Alec shivers from Magnus’ breath on his ear, and whines when Magnus nips his earlobe.

Magnus makes his way back down Alec’s neck and pauses where Alec’s neck and shoulder meet. He bites and sucks and tongues it until it’s a nice deep red. His hands tighten on Alec’s hips in pleasure at seeing his mark on Alec’s skin. He starts to work further towards Alec’s chest and stops when he feels Alec tense. _Too fast Magnus, too fast_. He tells himself.

He rubs his hands along Alec’s back and works his way up the other side of Alec’s neck. Alec relaxes when he moves away from Alec’s chest. Returning to Alec’s lips, Magnus plunges into Alec’s mouth and brings his hands up Alec’s sides and along his upper arms. Alec shivers at the contact. Alec’s hands go to Magnus’ hair and threads his fingers through it. Magnus hugs Alec close, their chest sliding together once more. Alec leans his head back, exposing his arched throat. Magnus returns his attention to the pale skin, pausing in between kisses, slowing the pace back down. Even though he wanted everything, he knew Alec wasn’t ready to give more than this.

Magnus returns to Alec’s lips and kisses him leisurely, humming into his mouth. Alec melts in Magnus’ lap and hums back. Magnus pulls back, resting their foreheads together.

“Darling, that was - exquisite.”

Alec smiles and his cheeks flush, “Yeah?”

“Oh yes.” Magnus presses a quick kiss to Alec’s lips.

They sit like that, just breathing each other’s air for awhile, chests still resting together.

“I love you.” Magnus whispers.

“I love you too.” Alec breathes back. 

Magnus maneuvers them to lay down on the couch, Alec against his front and in his arms. He presses a kiss to Alec’s hair and presses his hand to Alec’s chest. Alec tenses but Magnus keeps his hand pressed flat, not moving it. Magnus can feel differences in the skin under his hand, but he isn’t concerned with that. He is focused on who he has in his arms. Their legs tangle together and Magnus summons a blanket to cover them. 

Alec feels Magnus’ hand on his chest, and as it stays there he begins to relax. Resting in Magnus’ arms like this is something he loves and he feels safe here, wanted. He covers Magnus’ hand with his own and just breathes. Magnus’ hand moves with his chest as he inhales and exhales. He had been so anxious about exposing his body to Magnus. He still wasn’t comfortable with Magnus really touching or looking at his chest, but this? This was good.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so all the fluff got to me and had to put some angst back in there. forgive me.

They lay entangled on the couch for quite awhile. Alec focuses on the sensations of Magnus around him. Magnus’ hand on his chest, arm around his side, chest against his back, breaths tickling the back of his neck, another arm under his neck and around his shoulder, legs intertwined with his. Each thing makes the warmth grow in his chest. He was here with Magnus, Magnus all around him, and was loved.

Alec brings his hand to Magnus’ on his chest and lays it over Magnus’. He trails his fingers along Magnus’ hand and fingers, before covering it with his own.

He takes a deep breath, wanting to memorize everything about this moment. It was perfection. He felt Magnus kiss his neck and hum in contentment. He smiles.

“I love you Mags.” Alec whispers on a breath.

He can almost see Magnus smile before he responds, “I love you too darling.” Magnus pulls Alec more firmly against him.

Magnus then levers his upper body up and pulls Alec over to lay on his back. His eyes trail over Alec’s face. He lowers himself to Alec’s side, elbow propping him up slightly to still look at his angel. Magnus grasps Alec’s chin lightly. He leans over and kisses Alec slowly, taking his time in giving every part of Alec’s mouth attention. Each lip, his tongue, his mouth. Alec rests his hand on Magnus’ shoulder. When Magnus pulls back, he rests his forehead against Alec’s. They remain there for a few moments, eyes closed, sharing breath.

Magnus then lays down at Alec’s side, placing his hand on Alec’s chest again. Alec turns his head to better see Magnus, and places his hand over Magnus’. Magnus lazily sweeps his thumb back and forth over Alec’s skin. Too relaxed in this bubble of peace and love, Alec doesn’t tense. Alec’s eyes flutter close as he drifts in the warmth of Magnus’ arms.

—

That night Alec finds himself in the closet looking at his pajamas, debating. He runs his hands over the various pairs, and pulls out a pair. His free hand lingers on the top, short-sleeved. He rubs the sleeve between his fingers. _I can do this, I can do this_ , he chants in his head. Magnus had seen his naked chest after all. Exposing some of his arms wasn’t much in comparison. 

Alec carries the pajamas into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He changes clothes, dirty ones going into the hamper. Once the shirt is on he looks in the mirror and focuses on his arms. It’s odd seeing them exposed since he has been keeping them covered. They’re pale and the scars are somewhat stark against the pale skin. He takes a shaky breath and finishes getting ready for bed. Exiting the bathroom he hears Magnus in the closet. He gets in bed and waits for Magnus. 

A few minutes later Magnus crawls in beside him. Magnus pulls Alec into his arms and runs his hand along Alec’s arm. His hand pauses at the end of the sleeve upon finding skin, surprised at the change. He recovers quickly and moves his hand down the exposed forearm to grasp Alec’s hand. He can feel Alec’s rabbiting pulse against his shoulder. He smiles and presses a kiss to Alec’s head. He pulls Alec closer to his side, then trails his fingers up and down Alec’s arm. Alec slowly relaxes in Magnus’ arms noticing that Magnus is not focusing or altering his touch due to the scars.

They drift off to sleep.

—

Alec surprises Magnus yet again when he comes out in short sleeves the next morning for breakfast. Noticing Magnus’ pause, Alec crosses his arms and fiddles with the edge of his sleeve. Magnus recovers quickly, redirecting their attention to the various choices on the counter. After serving themselves they take everything to the patio and devour their food. Magnus does manage to feed Alec a few choice morsels, enjoying the blush that appears on Alec’s cheeks from the attention. Magnus notices how quickly Alec relaxes and doesn’t hide his forearms anymore, leaving them exposed to sight. Magnus wonders what caused this change but he’s thankful it’s happened. Another small step on the long road to getting Alec comfortable with himself again.

Once they’re finished, they take everything back inside to the kitchen. They clean the dishes by hand, Alec washing and Magnus drying. Magnus shares some random tales of his past adventures, eliciting laughter from Alec at various points. Once the dishes are put away, they move to the living room to snuggle and read.

They’ve settled in and are ensnared in their books when the buzzer sounds. Magnus sets his book aside and gets up, “Your gift has arrived Alexander.”

Alec raises his brows as Magnus strides past him to meet the delivery at the door. After signing and shutting the door, Magnus returns to the living room, carrying the box to the coffee table and laying it in front of Alec.

“Here you are darling. Just for you.” Magnus pats the box gently and kneels across the coffee table from Alec. He motions with his hand, “Open it.”

Alec sets his book aside and reaches out, unsure where to start to unwrap the oddly sized box. After a few moments he asks, “Can you just-“ he waves his hand in the air, “at least for the tape?”

Magnus smiles and obliges Alec, magicking away the tape. Relieved, Alec reaches out and carefully opens the box, then starts on the various things protecting the item from damage during shipping. He begins uncovering it and pauses as he realizes what it is. A bow. He works slowly until he has the bow fully uncovered. He reaches his hands out reverently, but pauses before he touches it.

“I told you not to get something expensive Magnus.” He whispers, in awe of the beauty laying in front of him.

Magnus shrugs, smiling, “It’s for you. There’s no such thing as expensive when it comes to you darling.”

Alec narrows his eyes at Magnus, but Magnus interrupts before Alec can begin.

“I know you know I have more than enough money for a number of lifetimes. This was nothing.”

Alec sighs, knowing there is no use in arguing at this point. He touches the bow softly, and pulls it out of the casing. He caresses the surface, the grip, the curve of the bow. Magnus watches Alec in silence, happy to see that Alec liked it.

Alec grips the bow with his right hand experimentally. He can grasp it firmly, but wasn’t sure if he had to the strength to hold it when drawing an arrow. He could at least try and find out now that he had a bow. He looks up to find Magnus watching and he tries to find the words to thank him, but has no luck. So he puts everything into his gaze while he whispers, “Thank you.”

“I love you angel. “ Magnus replies.

“I love you too Mags.” He returns his gaze to the bow in his hands and repeats, “Thank you.”

Magnus smiles then looks at the case, “It should come with everything you need, and some arrows too.”

Alec nods, smiling. 

Magnus stands, “Darling, why don’t you see how I’ve set up the room? Then you can finish and try it out, see how it goes?”

Alec lays the bow back down in the case and stands, moving to Magnus’ side. Magnus takes Alec’s hand and leads him down the hallway to an extra guest room.

“Now, I’ve set it up based on basics. But we can change anything you want okay?” Magnus begins before opening the door.

Alec looks around, and it looks perfect. Of course Magnus would have consulted a professional about the bow and what would be needed for a training room. He squeezes Magnus’ hand, “Perfect.”

“And, there’s more arrows here for you.” Magnus indicates a space to the right with varying arrows placed in quivers and other containers.

They return to the living room and Magnus watches as Alec prepares the bow. He struggles a bit with the grip of his right hand and fingers, but is able to get it ready. Magnus clears the packaging away, leaving only the case and necessary items. Alec draws the bow experimentally with his right hand without much trouble. The test would be when he holds the arrow and draws the bow.

“Ready to try?” Magnus asks, excitement in his voice.

“Yes.”

Magnus carries the case while Alec follows with the bow. Magnus sets the case to the side in the room and gives Alec space. Alec rolls his shoulders a few times and selects an arrow. He grasps it experimentally a few times, unsure if he could handle it securely enough to be successful with aiming. He notches the arrow, and draws the bow, focusing on his right hand. It was a struggle and his hand was shaking slightly. He relaxes the bow, then stretches out his right hand before curling it into a fist, and repeating the exercise a few times. He tries drawing the bow again, hand still shaky. He aims for the closest target and looses. The arrow at least hits the target, but not where he was aiming.

Magnus claps, bouncing on the balls of his feet, “That wasn’t bad, right?”

Alec shakes his head, a fond smile on his face, “Not horrific.”

Magnus deflates, “But, it’s just your grip right?”

Alec nods, “I just need to strengthen my hand. I can work on that.” 

Alec hangs the bow on the wall and goes to Magnus’ side. He wraps his arms around Magnus’ shoulders and kisses him, “Thank you Mags.”

Magnus hugs him around the waist, “I’d do anything for you.”

Alec murmurs, “What did I do to deserve you?”

Magnus smiles, “You love me.”

“That’s very true.”

—

Alec enters the bedroom, hearing Magnus humming quietly. He finds Magnus at the vanity, getting ready for his appointments. The maroon top grabs Alec’s attention and his gaze lingers as he sees how it hugs Magnus’ body, the low v neck exposing his skin.

“It fits nicely doesn’t it?” Magnus asks, noticing Alec’s attention.

Alec blushes at being caught ogling, “It looks good on you.”

Magnus pauses applying his eyeshadow and smiles up at Alec, “You have a very good eye.”

Alec huffs a laugh, “Izzy picked the size.”

Magnus resumes his work, “You still picked the design.” He finishes and leans back, “See? The eyeshadow goes marvelously.” 

Alec nods and watches as Magnus begins doing his nails.

“How many appointments do you have today?” 

“4. One will be late tonight, vampire.” 

Alec takes a seat on the bench next to Magnus, “Okay.”

“Is Jace coming over?”

“Yeah, a little later.”

“Sounds good. Don’t worry if you get tired before I get home, just go to bed.” Magnus turns and gives Alec a quick peck.

Alec smiles and watches as Magnus starts his other hand. “I’ll probably wait for you.”

“Whatever you feel like darling. Though I won’t hold it against you if you go to sleep.”

Alec nods as Magnus snaps his fingers, magically drying his nails. Alec takes in Magnus wearing his gifts, pleased that it looks good, though Magnus would look good in anything.

“Are you hungry? Want something before you go?” Alec follows Magnus out the bedroom to the living room.

“No thank you angel. I’m good for now.” Magnus grabs his jacket and turns to Alec. “Oh! Before I forget,” He pulls something from his wallet and holds out a card to Alec, “This is for you.”

Alec takes hold of the card and looks at it. His eyes widen, it’s a credit card. He looks up at Magnus, “I can’t take this.”

“Yes you can. It has your name on it.”

Alec shakes his head and opens his mouth. Magnus shushes him with a finger.

“Non negotiable Alexander. I want you to be able to get anything you need or want or even faintly desire. We’ve already discussed my finances, and they’re at _our_ disposal.”

Alec glances back at the card in his hand, “Mags… If I use it I’ll pay you back.”

“None of that love. Are we not together?”

“Yeah but-“

“Then it’s ours. No more arguing.”

Alec sighs in defeat. 

Magnus reaches out and pulls Alec closer by his belt loops. Magnus smiles at him and purrs, “Hi.”

Alec flushes, “Hi.”

“You’re gorgeous, did you know?”

“Uh-“ Alec gets cut off by Magnus’ lips on his. The kiss soon deepens. When Magnus finally pulls back, Alec chases after his lips for a few seconds. He opens his eyes to see Magnus’ smirk. He huffs, “Not fair.”

“Don’t pout darling. We can continue this later, yes?” Magnus raises a brow.

Alec takes a step back, “Okay Mags.”

Magnus pats Alec’s cheek, “Okay, I’m off, see you soon! Love you!” 

Alec gives Magnus one more quick kiss, “Love you too.”

Magnus exits the loft and Alec closes and locks the door behind him.

—

Alec finds himself staring out the balcony doors from his seat on the couch, a book forgotten on his lap. He turns to Jace who is sitting at the other end of the couch, his feet tucked under Alec’s thigh.

“Let’s go out.”

Jace looks up from his own book, “Out? Where?”

Alec shrugs, “I don’t know… Just out.”

Jace glances outside, “It’s dark out Alec.”

“So?”

“Night isn’t always the safest Alec.”

“Come on Jace. I’m not made of glass, and you’ll be there.” Alec crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at Jace.

“I don’t know. Magnus-“ Jace starts.

Alec cuts in, “Magnus isn’t here, and it’ll be _fine_.”

“Well, where do you want to go.”

“Let’s start with a walk, see where we end up? Maybe some coffee? I don’t know.”

“Coffee? It’s 10pm Alec. You’ll never sleep.”

“Well, maybe not coffee. Just… come on!” Alec squeezes Jace’s calf and stands up, moving toward the foyer.

“Alec!” Jace calls. “We could order in or something.”

Alec huffs, “I want to go out, so I’m going out. You can come if you want.”

Jace sighs, “Fine.”

Alec smiles and shoves his boots on. He ties them up and grabs his jacket. Opening the door for Jace, he follows and locks the door behind them. They make their way downstairs and to the sidewalk. Alec chooses the direction randomly, Jace staying at his side. The neighborhood is well lit and they pass several groups of people.

They chat idly as they walk, Alec mentioning Magnus’ gift and how his first attempt at using the bow went. Jace is encouraging and supportive of Alec working on strengthening his hand. Jace shares a few things about how everyone is doing, Izzy’s latest adventures, Clary’s endearing antics, and random things Simon has said that make no sense to Jace. They share a few laughs and Alec enjoys the company. He takes deep breaths of the fresh air, enjoying the slight breeze.

They meander their way through the streets, stopping in a book store to browse. Alec finds one he’d like to get Magnus, but is unsure about using his new card. Jace notices him hesitating.

“Why don’t you get it? I can get it for you.”

Alec shakes his head, “Magnus gave me a card, but I feel weird using it.”

“Why?”

“I’m not working or anything. It just feels wrong to spend Magnus’ money.”

Jace sighs and leans back against the bookshelf, “Alec, he’s a warlock and has had hundreds of years to acquire wealth.” He grabs the book from Alec’s hands and looks at the price, “I hardly think twenty dollars will make an impact.”

Alec grabs the book back, “Still…”

Jace grabs Alec’s shoulder and steers him to the register, shoving him the last few steps to the cashier. Alec finds himself unable to retreat and caves to the pressure, paying with his new card.

Jace smiles at Alec as they leave the store, “See? Was that so hard?” He puts an arm across Alec’s shoulders, ignoring the height difference. Alec hunches a bit to accommodate him.

“Where to now? Shall we head back?”

Alec nods, “Yeah, let’s head back.”

—

Half way back to the loft is when they hear a scream. They glance at each other and take off in the direction of the sound, Alec slower because of his leg. He sees Jace disappear around a corner. When he catches up and turns the corner he sees Jace facing off three demons, a mundane women cowering behind him. Alec comes to halt when he reaches for his seraph blade and his hand closes on nothing, with a start he realizes he’s worthless to Jace right now. He can’t help fight or protect Jace’s back. Grief surges in his chest seeing his parabatai fight without him. Then anger grows at his inability to do anything. Jace kills one of the demons, and tries to draw the two remaining away from the mundane. Alec glances at the mundane and realizes she isn’t going to run unless someone forces her. He glances back at Jace and sees the demons are on the far side of him.

Without thinking twice he runs to the mundane and pulls her to her feet. He tells her to run and pushes her in the direction of the street. He follows her a few steps to make sure she keeps going, then stops to check on Jace. The demons are trying to box him in, one trying to draw his attention away from the other. Alec can tell they’re succeeding and he rushes towards Jace calling out his name in warning. He throws himself in between the second demon and Jace just as it was about to attack Jace’s back. 

The demons claws sink into his flesh and drag across the length of his torso. Alec goes down, landing on his back with a loud thud. He hears Jace yell his name, and then sees a burst of ash, followed by another.

Jace quickly appears at his side, “Alec? Alec, hey, it’s okay. Why’d you do that? Alec? Stay with me.”

Alec is numb now, “I’m okay Jace.” It comes out garbled.

He sees Jace pull out his phone to call someone. He raises his hand to grab onto Jace. He can tell Jace is panicking, it’s happened before. His hand makes contact with Jace’s jacket.

Jace is talking to him in a constant stream, pausing to answer whoever he called on the phone.

Alec struggles to breathe, his chest not expanding as it should for some reason. He laughs humorlessly at how weak his mundane body is. Jace’s eyes widen at this, concern evident, “Alec? Are you okay? Hey, Magnus is coming and Catarina will meet us at the loft. Just hold on for a little bit okay?”

Jace’s gaze strays to Alec’s chest and Alec sees his eyes widen. Jace then struggle out of his jacket, then his shirt and presses it to Alec’s chest. Alec can feel the pressure, further constricting his breathing. He closes his eyes, but is opens them again at Jace’s yell.

“Alec, stay awake, stay with me, okay? Magnus will be here any second now. You have to stay awake.”

Alec mumbles, “I’m fine Jace.” But isn’t sure Jace can hear him. He hears a shout and Jace looks over Alec and relief crosses his face. Alec is confused for a moment, then Magnus appears over him.

“Alexander.” Magnus gasps, out of breath. “What did you do?”

Alec tries to smile up at him, and tries again to talk, “I’m fine.” It goes unnoticed yet again. Magnus and Jace are talking rapidly between themselves, then Jace heaves Alec up and into his arms. Alec grimaces at the sudden movement and coughs, something wet coating the inside of his mouth.

Jace carries him a few steps, and Alec notices the alleyway change to Magnus’ loft. There are voices flying this way and that and he just can’t be bothered to listen. He closes his eyes trying to tune out the noise. It only lasts a few seconds before someone is calling his name. He opens his eyes and squints at the offender. Magnus’ face swims in his vision, Magnus is saying something but Alec is too tired. He tries to tell Magnus but doesn’t think his lips move. Another cough escapes him, and he can feel something wet against his lips. He closes his eyes again and this time doesn’t hear the voices calling him back.


	23. Chapter 23

Alec is yanked back to consciousness by excruciating pain and frantic voices. His eyes fly open and he tries to get away from the pain. His pleas for it to stop, for them to leave him alone quickly turn to screams of pain. He tries to grab at the source of the pain to push it away, but his arms and legs are quickly restrained. He can feel wetness on his temples and realizes faintly that it must be tears. The pain increases and stays there for what seems like an eternity. He retches and is quickly turned to his side as he vomits, he gets a few moments of relief before the pain is back. His throat hurts from screaming, and they quickly become rasping pleas again. The pain eventually recedes, and he pants, curling into himself, trying to keep whatever caused the pain from returning. He still hears voices, though they are a little calmer now, but still concerned. He retches again, dry heaving, a coppery tang lingering on his tongue. The voice turn frantic again and then it sounds like they’re arguing amongst themselves. He opens his eyes half way and a cough explodes from his chest. He catches a glimpse of blue and white, then something white is wiping his face, and when it’s pulled away it is red.

He feels fingers prod at his chest and he whimpers at the tenderness. He tries to push the hands away but his wrists are then held in a firm grip as the fingers continue prodding. He struggles against the hold and tries to pull away from the prodding fingers. He hears his name being called but he winces at the sensory overload. The noise, the touch, the taste, too much at once. He gasps for air and finally the fingers and restraining hands leave him. He curls his arms to his chest and turns away.

—

“What the hell happened?” Magnus demands as Jace carries Alec through the portal. 

“There were demons, and I don’t know what he was thinking. One of them circled around to my back and would have gotten me, but Alec must have thrown himself between us.”

“Set him down here.” Catarina motions to the sofa, magicking away the coffee table.

Alec’s eyes flutter closed and Magnus calls his name, frantic, “Alexander, stay awake darling. Stay with me.” Alec’s eyes open for a moment, and coughs. Blood coats his lips. Alec’s eyes close again. Magnus tenses and tries calling Alec’s name again while Catarina uncovers Alec’s chest. Jace joins him in trying to call Alec back to them. When he doesn’t wake, Magnus turns to Jace.

“Demons? What were you thinking? Why were you even out?”

“Alec wanted to go out and was going to go without me if I didn’t go with.”

“You should have-“

“Should have what Magnus? Tied him down? Held him captive?”

“Boys!” Catarina yells. Jace and Magnus turn towards her and see the deep furrows running from Alec’s shoulder to waist.

“Alexander.” Magnus chokes out.

“I’m going to try healing him. I don’t know what his reaction will be since he responded negatively last time.” Catarina reaches out and hovers her hand over Alec’s chest. Magics pours from her hands down to Alec. 

A few moments after it hits Alec’s skin, Alec jerks violently and his eyes fly open. His arms fly up and try to push Catarina’s hands away, wet rasps of please and stop and leave me alone escape his throat. 

“Hold him down!” Catarina yells. Magnus grabs Alec’s wrists while Jace grabs his knees. Alec continues to struggle.

“Why is he reacting like this? Isn’t healing supposed to _help_ not _cause_ pain?” Jace hisses.

“He’s intolerant of magic. We’re forcing it on his system.” Catarina snaps.

Alec’s pleas turns to screams as he tries to pull away from the pain.

“Are you going to be able to heal him with this reaction?” Magnus yells to be heard over the noise.

“Do you need more strength? You can have mine.” Jace says.

Suddenly Catarina interrupts them, “Turn him on his side!” She stops her magic and grabs at Alec, turning him with their help.

Alec vomits and retches. Catarina gives him a few moments before she pushes him onto his back again. She starts her magic again. The screams resume.

“How much longer?” Jace bites out.

“Will you be able to finish healing him completely?” Magnus inquires.

The screams recede to rasping pleas. 

“Almost done.” Catarina bites out.

After what feels like a lifetime, the wounds on Alec’s chest fully close and Catarina ceases her magic flow. They all relax slightly. Alec pants and curls in on himself. They take a deep breath that is quickly stolen from them.

Alec dry heaves, and fresh blood coats his lips.

“Why is there more blood?”

“Cat what’s happening?”

“I don’t know. It must be because of the magic.” Catarina leans over.

“Should you try to heal him more?”

“Would that make it worse?”

Catarina catches a glimpse of Alec’s eyes. Another deep cough escapes Alec and blood spittle escapes. She reaches out with a white cloth and wipes Alec’s face and mouth, the cloth coming away red. She reaches out to prod at Alec’s chest. Alec whimpers and tries to push her away. Magnus grabs Alec’s wrists. 

“Alexander, darling, let Cat check you over.”

“Alec, come on, she just wants to see if you’re ok.”

Catarina frowns as she prods further along the healed wound. Once done, she pulls her hands away and motions for Magnus to let go. Alec curls further into himself and turns away from them.

Jace fists his hands in his hair as he takes a few steps back, “Dammit.”

“Cat, is he healed?”

Catarina nods, “Yes, I think the rest is just a reaction to the magic.”

“Why is he reacting like that?” Jace asks.

“Something must have changed when he was deruned.” Magnus mutters. His eyes trail over Alec’s exposed back, then land on the scar on his lower back. 

“I agree. It must have happened then. He tolerated magic before that didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he never had problems before.” Jace crosses his arms. “If he’s all healed why isn’t he talking to us?”

Catarina sighs, “He’s probably still in pain, maybe over sensitized at the moment.”

“There’s nothing we can do?” Magnus asks.

Catarina shakes her head, “I don’t want to risk more magic.” 

Magnus kneels next to the couch, lined up with Alec’s shoulders. He reaches out and gently rests his hand on Alec’s upper arm, “Alexander.”

Alec flinches at the touch and hisses in pain. Magnus yanks his hand away, concerned he caused his angel further pain.

Catarina grabs Magnus’ hand, “Just give him awhile. It’ll pass.”

—

After an undeterminable amount of time, Alec stops feeling like an exposed nerve. Now his body feels like it went through the blender, his skin too tight and sensitive. He takes a few deep breaths and turns his head slightly.

“Alexander? Darling?”

Alec blinks a few times, “M’gn’s?” He rolls to his back with a hiss of pain. Magnus appears, leaning over him.

“Alec? There you are.” Jace appears at Magnus’ side.

“Angel, are you alright? Do you need anything?” Magnus asks, his hands fluttering uselessly at his sides.

Alec tries to move his arm and grimaces in pain.

“Don’t move yet Alec. Catarina said you might be in pain for a bit yet.”

“Yes darling, stay still.”

Alec’s memory suddenly comes back and his eyes go to Jace, “You okay?”

Jace frowns, “Of course you’d ask that. I’m fine, but what were you thinking?”

Alec rasps, “Demon - almost got - you.”

“Alexander, Jace can handle himself. You didn’t even have a weapon!”

“Parabatai.” Alec murmurs.

Jace rolls his eyes, infuriated, “Alec…” He huffs and disappears form view.

Magnus watches Jace leave the room and reaches out to Alec again.

Magnus leans forward to kiss the dried tears from Alec’s cheek, tears of his own threatening to fall. He whispers, “I love you Alexander. Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Alec smiles weakly, “I’ll try.”

Magnus huffs humorlessly, “No more self sacrificing acts. It’s other people’s responsibility now. I _need_ you. You’re _mine_ now. I can’t -“ He swallows down a sob, “I just - “ Unable to find the words he repeats, “I need you. - Without you I’m lost. I exist for you. Please - please stay with me.” A few tears spill from his eyes.

Alec grimaces but manages to lift one of his arms and wipes away Magnus’ tears. “I’m here.” Between pants of pain he adds, “I’ll never - leave you - Love you - I’ll always - stay.” Alec lowers his arm back down.

Magnus leans down and rests his forehead against Alec’s uninjured shoulder, taking shuddering breaths, trying to regain his composure. Alec pets Magnus’ head, fingers running through his hair. Magnus hears other voices murmuring in the background, but all he cares about is Alec. He’s thankful they’re giving him space right now.

“Mags.” Alec whispers, “I’m here. I’m fine.”

Magnus focuses on Alec’s voice and calms himself, at least enough to be somewhat presentable. He sits up and wipes under his eyes. He looks down at Alec and almost loses it again at the love he sees on Alec’s face. He almost lost Alec, again. He’s come too close to losing Alec too many times.

Alec speaks up again, “Love you.”

Magnus blinks back more tears, “And I you.”

—

Jace returns to the living room with Catarina in tow. He finds Magnus at Alec’s side, holding his hand. Catarina stands next to Magnus, “Alec? Can I check your chest?”

Alec nods. Catarina prods at his chest and he winces at the tenderness.

“Looks good, are you have pain anywhere else? Anything bothering you?”

“Sore everywhere.”

“I think that’s from your reaction to the magic. I’m sorry but we didn’t have a choice, we had to use magic.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’ve done everything I can. The soreness should fade within the next day or two. If not, let me know.”

Magnus nods, “We will Cat. Thank you again.”

Alec coughs again and everyone tenses. They relax when no blood appears. Cat takes her leave and Jace takes her place next to Magnus, his arms crossed.

Alec sighs, “Stop looming Jace.”

Jace just continues to glower at him. Magnus rubs soothing circles on the back of Alec’s hand.

Jace runs a hand over his face, “Alec, we have to talk about this. It was an idiotic move, and I’m sorry but you need a reality check. You aren’t built for fighting demons anymore. You can’t use runes, your leg could cause issues, and you don’t have any weapons.”

Alec flinches at Jace’s words.

“Couldn’t just stand by. You would have been hurt.”

“Hurt yes, almost die? No. And that’s what you did. Almost die. And I can use iratzes, as well as tolerate magic so Magnus could heal me if it’s really bad.”

Magnus jumps in, his voice soft, “Darling, what Jace is saying is true. I know it’s your instincts that took over, but you need to stop and think in the future.”

Alec looks away from them, knowing they’re right, “I’m not - uh.” He clears his throat, “Used to being a mundane. I know I am one, but it really hasn’t been an issue yet. So it didn’t even cross my mind at that moment.”

Jace softens, uncrossing his arms. He rests a hand on Alec’s leg, knowing that admitting this must be hard on Alec.

Alec looks up at Jace, “Us mundanes really are weak.”

Magnus huffs, “You have different strengths. Even if you don’t fight demons, you can help in different ways.”

Jace nods, “Magnus is right. You’ll find a niche, even if it isn’t taking down demons.”

Alec frowns and looks at Magnus, “It won’t _mean_ anything.”

Magnus’ brows draw down, a crease appearing on his forehead in confusion, “What do you mean?”

Jace jumps in, “Do you mean it won’t be protecting mundanes?”

“It won’t - be important like that.”

Jace shakes his head, “Every is important. You may not be killing demons, but what you end up doing will have an effect on people. And whoever they end up being will be grateful for you.”

Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand and nods in agreement, “I agree.” He looks at Alec and then Jace, and tries to lighten up the mood, “Group hug?”

Alec and Jace both snort, but Magnus pulls them in, Jace and Magnus lifting Alec up to join in.

They all jerk back at the door bursting open, colliding with the wall behind it. Izzy storms in, Clary at her heels.

“What happened? No one is answering their damn phone!” Izzy takes a look at Alec’s position the couch and she pales, “Are you ok?”

Izzy rushes to Alec’s side, elbowing Jace and Magnus out of the way.

“Demon attack. He jumped in.”

“What?!”

“It was bad but he’s all healed now.”

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, what were you thinking?” She spins towards Jace, her hair flying, “And why didn’t you call me?”

Magnus cuts in, “We were quite caught up in the situation. There wasn’t time to call.” 

Magnus shrinks back when Izzy turns her death glare on him.

Alec huffs a laugh, “I’m fine now Izzy.”

Izzy reaches out and brushes hair from Alec’s forehead, “What were you even doing out? At this time of night?”

Alec replies, “I needed some fresh air. Jace tagged along.” His eyes widen when he remembers the gift he had gotten Magnus. He glances at Jace, “The book.”

Jace rolls his eyes, “Of course you’re worried about the book.”

Magnus arches a brow, “Book?”

Alec looks at him sheepishly, “I got you a gift.”

“That’s sweet of you Alexander, but I’m sure you can get me another copy. Don’t worry about that right now.”

Izzy sighs, “Typical Alec, worrying about a gift when he’s lying on a couch barely able to move.” She straightens and faces Magnus and Jace, “If this _ever_ happens again and you don’t call me. I will _gut_ you both.”

Magnus and Jace’s eyes widen at the threat. Clary laughs from Jace’s side.

“Izzy come on,” Alec admonishes. “What are they going to do, call you every time I so much as trip over my own two feet? I’m not exactly graceful.”

Izzy is quiet for a moment as she debates this, “I’m thinking starting with bruises on up.”

“Bruises are a bit much Izzy. Alec bumps into things, and some bruises are” Jace coughs, “ _meant_ to be there? If you know what I mean.”

Magnus laughs at Jace’s careful insinuation, “Yes Izzy. I do enjoy marking Alexander.”

Alec flushes bright red as the others laugh. “Magnus!” He hisses.

Magnus just smirks at him and squeezes his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? No death, just had to have some hurt!Alec and angst there for a bit. All that fluff was getting to me.
> 
> Comments are love!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters today. I was wondering how the hell this got to be 24 chapters and then I realized I update a lot. This is the second or third time I've posted 2 chapters on the same day.
> 
> But I love you all too much to make you wait. I know when I'm reading I get so happy when it's updated!
> 
> Here you are, enjoy!

There’s only so much coddling Alec can take before he loses it. The first day isn’t so bad since he’s still sore and stiff. Jace, Izzy and Magnus each take turns waiting on him hand and foot. The second day it starts to wear on him, he gets crabby by the end of it. The third day is when he’s had enough. When the three of them are in front of him arguing about who was going to do what Alec loses it. 

He gets up from the couch, “Guys!”

The three turn to him.

He continues, “I’m fine now. I don’t need to be treated like glass anymore. I appreciate you taking care of me, but I’m about to lose my sanity.”

Izzy challenges him, “You’re still sore. I can tell by how you’re moving.”

Jace jumps in, “You need to be 100% before we stop worrying.”

Magnus stays quiet, not wanting to ruffle Alec’s feathers further.

Alec narrows his eyes, “Worry all you want. I’m _done_ with your hovering. Give me some space.” 

He walks away down the hallway, goes to the training room and slams the door shut behind him. He leans back against it and sighs. It’s true he’s still a little sore, but it’s fading quickly. He hefts his bow and selects an arrow. His sore muscles protest, but his right hand is steadier than it has been. He’s pleased at the improvement. He spends some time shooting arrows. His aim is improving and he can hit the second target now, though with lower accuracy. When his arms worsens on the first target he stops, returning his bow to the wall. He takes his time collecting the arrows from the targets and returning them to their places at the front of the room.

Feeling much calmer he returns to the living room. He finds Izzy and Jace there waiting. Magnus is over by the bar, sipping on a drink.

Izzy stands from the couch, “Sorry big brother, didn’t mean to smother you.”

Jace nods, “We just worry about you.”

Izzy rubs her hands on her thighs, “Yeah, we love you.”

Alec sighs, “I know. I love you too.”

Izzy comes to give him a hug and Alec squeezes her tight. 

Jace comes up and pats Alec on the back. “We’re going to head back to the Institute now.”

Izzy releases Alec, “Yeah, no more hovering.”

Alec smiles, “Okay. Sounds good.”

Izzy and Jace take their leave and Alec relaxes further when he hears the door latch behind them. He turns to Magnus who is smiling at him.

“Feeling better darling?”

Alec walks to his side, Magnus setting down his drink. Magnus draws Alec into his arms and presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Much better now.” Alec whispers.

Magnus smirks, “Oh really?” He kisses Alec a few more times. “How about now?”

Alec smiles brightly, “Even better.”

—

A few days later:

With a laugh, Magnus drops onto the couch, pulling Alec down on top of him. Alec straddles Magnus and laughs as he presses a kiss to Magnus’ lips.

Magnus looks at Alec, golden yellow eyes shining, a smile on his face, “Today was a good day.”

Alec hums then responds, “Yes it was.”

Alec leans in and kisses Magnus. His lips open at the first push of Magnus’ tongue. Their tongues tangle together and Alec hums into the kiss. Magnus’ hands go to Alec’s hips and the small of his back. Alec’s hands go to Magnus’ shoulders and upper arms, rubbing up and down. 

The kiss deepens and Alec inches further forward until their chests are flush against each other. Magnus’ fingers slip under the hem of Alec’s shirt, ghosting over the skin underneath. Alec shivers and feels Magnus smile against him. Alec moves his hands to Magnus’ neck, playing with the hair at the back of his neck. 

Alec pulls back and looks into Magnus’ eyes. Magnus watches him, waiting. Alec presses a kiss to Magnus’ lips, “I love you.”

Magnus smiles, “I love you too darling.”

Alec leans back a little further and brings his hands to the hem of his shirt. He pauses and looks at Magnus again. 

Magnus grasps Alec’s hands, “Only if you want.” He releases Alec’s hands and returns his own to Alec’s hips.

Alec nods and pulls his shirt up and off. He stills waiting for Magnus’ reaction, his heart rabbiting away in his chest. Magnus stares into Alec’s eyes for awhile, running his hands up Alec’s side and back down. He puts a question in his gaze.

Alec takes a deep breath, “I’m ready Mags.”

Magnus pulls Alec down to resume their kiss and his hands start to explore Alec’s chest. His fingers trail over the different textures. Smooth skin, scars, puckered burns from the removed runes and brand, and the uneven skin on Alec’s upper chest. He can feel Alec’s rapid heart beat underneath his fingers, can feel Alec’s anxiety through the way he’s holding his body. 

Magnus trails his fingertips up to Alec’s neck and pulls him closer, their chests flush once again. Except, his shirt is in the way. Magnus pulls back, Alec following for a few moments, seeking his lips. Magnus chuckles and pulls his shirt off without a moment’s delay. He grabs Alec and pulls them together again, attacking Alec’s lips. Alec gives a happy hum into Magnus’ mouth.

Alec’s hands explore Magnus’ back, feeling the skin move over the muscles underneath. He rakes his nails lightly over the skin, eliciting a shudder and moan from his warlock.

Magnus’ hands rub over Alec’s back and sides, tracing over every square inch of skin, returning to squeeze Alec’s hips. Alec moans and breaks the kiss to lean his head back. Magnus hones in on the exposed neck, his mouth sucking, his tongue licking, his teeth grazing and nipping. Magnus squeezes Alec’s hips harder as Alec’s grinds downward, bringing their hard lengths together.

Magnus pauses in his administrations to mumble against Alec’s skin, “You’re beautiful angel.”

Alec comes back to grasp the sides of Magnus’ face as their lips meet once again. Alec’s hands trail down over Magnus’ neck, then circles his arms around Magnus’ shoulders and neck. He uses the leverage to keep their chests together. He breaks the kiss to pant against Magnus’ lips and grind down hard. They both moan and pant against each other’s lips. 

Alec flinches when pain shoots through his low back and hip. Magnus catches the grimace of pain.

He pulls back, “Is it your leg?”

Alec nods and shifts in Magnus’ lap.

Magnus looks at Alec, “Better?”

“Yes - no. Not better.”

Magnus flips them over, Alec laying on his back on the couch, with Magnus straddling him. “How about now?”

Alec looks up at him, pupils blown, lust clear on his face. He smiles, “Better.”

Alec reaches up and pulls Magnus down to kiss again. As the kiss deepens Magnus gives an experimental roll of his hips. Alec arches his back, pressing his chest against Magnus with a moan. Magnus grabs Alec’s hands and pin them above Alec’s head. Alec pulls experimentally and arches again at being held firm.

“Mags.” He gasps against Magnus’ lips.

Magnus smirks between kisses, “Yes darling?”

Unable to string words together Alec moans, “Please.”

Alec arches under Magnus yet again, and Magnus grinds his hips down. Giving them both the friction they desire. Magnus moves Alec’s wrists together and changes his hold to one hand. He brings his other hand to Alec’s chest and finds a nipple. He teases and tugs, causing Alec to whine. Continuing to grind their hips together, Magnus abandons Alec’s lips to work his way down. He pays extra attention to Alec’s sensitive neck, but keeps going until he makes it Alec’s nipples. He licks, sucks and nibbles on first one then the other.

Alec is unable to do anything but pant and moan Magnus’ name and please. Magnus smiles against Alec’s chest, loving how he makes his angel feel. He gives another hard swivel of his hips, causing Alec to arch another time, pulling against Magnus’ hold on his wrists.

Magnus leans back up and captures Alec’s mouth in a passionate kiss, teeth clicking together with the force of it. He swallows down the noises escaping Alec as he quickens the speed and pressure of their hips meeting. He can feel himself getting close, so he slides his free hand down Alec’s side, then behind to the small of his back. He then pushes his hand down and squeezes Alec’s ass, hard. 

Magnus watches, rapt, while Alec comes apart underneath him, his name on Alec’s lips.  He chases his own release while helping Alec ride out his. When he comes down from his high, he’s laying on Alec’s chest. He presses a soft kiss to Alec’s lips and smiles down at Alec.

“Today was definitely a good day.” He smirks.

Alec laughs, “Yes, yes it was.”

—

The next week:

Magnus and Alec make their way down the street, hand in hand, the others in pockets. They’re wearing jackets to keep away the autumn chill, their faces tinged pink from the cold air.

“So, bookstore and sethora?” Alec asks.

Magnus laughs, “Sephora darling.”

“Oh.” Alec’s cheeks flush, “Well, that.”

Magnus smiles up at Alec, “Yes, that. And yes, that sounds good.” He squeezes Alec’s hand.

Alec steps behind Magnus to allow an elderly couple pass, then returns to his side.

“Such a gentleman Alexander.” Magnus teases.

Alec huffs, “Common courtesy Mags.”

Magnus brings their clasped hands to his chest, “Oh my heart. I may just swoon. Catch me angel!” Magnus leans into Alec’s side.

Alec chuckles, “So dramatic.”

Magnus straightens, a grin on his face, “Come on, you know you love it.”

Alec looks at Magnus, his eyes twinkling, “That I do.” He gives Magnus a fond smile before leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to Magnus’ lips.

Magnus watches his love pull away and is amazed that he could love someone as much as he does Alec. The strength of it, the force of it. 

Alec frowns at Magnus’ stare, “What?”

Magnus sighs, “I love you.”

Alec smirks, “I love you too.” He smooches Magnus once more.

Grinning, Magnus continues on, Alec at his side.

—

They stop at the bookstore first. Alec holds the door open for Magnus who threatens to swoon, Alec’s laughter at Magnus’ antics announce their arrival. Alec stifles his laughter, feeling eyes on them. 

They peruse the new releases, picking out a few books each. Alec points out the book he had gotten Magnus before he got hurt. 

Alec grabs it and adds it to his pile, “For you.”

“Then I get to buy you one too.”

Alec rolls his eyes but caves, “Okay. Whatever you want Mags.”

Magnus arches a brow, “ _Anything_ I want?”

Alec’s voice grows stern, “Magnus.”

“What?! You said _anything._ ”

Alec sighs, “Fine, what do you want Mags.” Magnus pauses, long enough that Alec looks up.

“You.”

Alec smiles, “You have me Mags. Anything else?”

Magnus smirks, “Well, I’d like to do a few things to you, but alas they aren’t fit for public.” He leans in and whispers, “And I like to have you all to myself. I don’t share well.”

Alec blushes and scolds, “Mags. We’re in public.”

Magnus gives Alec a quick peck and returns to browsing, “Oh I know darling. I just like you flustered is all.”

Alec huffs, then leans closer to Magnus, “I don’t share well either.”

Surprised Magnus gasps and turns to Alec, “Alexander!”

Alec laughs, still blushing fiercely, then shrugs, “What can I say? You’re a bad influence.”

Magnus slaps his hand softly on Alec’s shoulder, “Me?! Never.”

After they finish browsing the pay for their books and head out. Once on the sidewalk Magnus magics the bag of their purchases to the loft.

“I could have carried those.” Alec says.

“I know. But I prefer to have your hands to myself.” Magnus winks at him.

“You are in a _mood_ aren’t you Mags.”

Magnus bumps their shoulders together, “Possibly.”

They make their way to their second stop, Sephora. Alec holds the door once again. Once inside he rubs Magnus’ hand between his, trying to warm up. He smiles when Magnus looks at him fondly.

“What, it’s cold!” Alec whispers.

“Thank you angel.”

“You’re welcome.” Alec looks around the store. “Now what are we looking for?”

“A little bit of this, a little bit of that.”

“Sounds like we need a bag.”

“We definitely need a bag.” Agrees Magnus. Then he winks, “Maybe two.”

Alec laughs and  grabs a bag from next to the entrance. He takes Magnus’ hand again and holds the bag in the other. He glances around again, “Where do we start?”

Magnus taps his chin before turning to the right, “This way.”

Alec follows along, holding tight to Magnus’ hand. Doesn’t want to get lost after all. He watches amused as Magnus browses the different products, testing a few on his wrist. Magnus tests a few shades and offers his wrist to Alec, “Which one do you think?”

Alec studies the three, “What is it for?”

“Foundation, should go with my skin tone.”

Alec nods in understanding and points at one, “This one then.”

Magnus nods and deposits it in the bag, wiping his wrist clean. They continue on to the eyeliners and eye shadows. Magnus claps his hands together, smiling.

Alec asks innocently, “Don’t you already have all the colors there are?”

Magnus shakes his head, “Darling, one can never have too many. And no two are exactly the same. There are shades and tones, and some glimmer while others glitter.”

“Oh.” Alec says and watches Magnus look over the large selection from various brands. He joins him in looking at colors. He finds a glittery orange and pulls it out, “What about this one?”

Magnus eyes it.

Alec motions to it, “It matches those pants you have.”

Magnus smiles, “Yes it does.” He puts it in the bag, and returns to the eyeliners. He sighs and turns to Alec, “Darling, you need to let me put some eyeliner and shadow on you at some point. I’m convinced you’d look stunning.”

Alec gives a nervous laugh and shrugs, “Maybe at some point.”

Magnus smirks and continues browsing.

By the time they’re done the bag is well stocked. Magnus portals them and the purchases home. Alec sets the bag down before taking his jacket off.

“That was fun love. Good idea.”

Alec nods, hanging up his coat then turning to reach for Magnus’. Magnus hands his jacket over and watches as Alec carefully hangs it in the closet.

Magnus pulls Alec into his arms, smirking, “Now… about that ‘anything I wanted’ thing…”

Alec laughs.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this came from, but here it is.
> 
> Comments are love and appreciated.

Magnus and Alec are making their way home after a late dinner out. Hands clasped between them, their breath turning white on the exhale, their faces reddened by the cold air.

Alec stops abruptly, looking off to the side.

“Alec?” Asks Magnus.

“Do you hear that?”

Magnus focuses on his hearing and can hear it. A muffled crying. “Yes I hear it.”

Alec glances at Magnus before turning back to the sound and tugging Magnus along by the hand. They look down an alley and the cries sound closer. Magnus pulls Alec back.

“Let me scan quick.”

Alec nods and waits while Magnus sends out a pulse of magic down the alley. He senses one living being, a child, about halfway down, hunkered down behind a dumpster. He gets the feeling of residual magic ghosting along his hands.

Magnus makes his way towards the dumpster, Alec on his heels. Once at the dumpster he calls out, “Hello?”

The muffled crying cuts off abruptly.

Alec looks at Magnus and inclines his head towards the source of the sound. Magnus nods. Alec turns back towards the end of the dumpster, “Hi, my name is Alec and this is Magnus. We heard you crying and wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Silence.

Alec tries again, “We aren’t going to hurt you. Do you need help?”

Magnus takes a step forward so he can see around the end of the dumpster then motions Alec forward. There is a child there, curled in on themselves, shaking, staring at them wide-eyed.

Alec crouches down immediately, not wanting to intimidate the child with his height. He holds out his hand, “Are you lost? Do you need helping finding your family?”

The child lifts their head and Alec can see now that it’s a young boy. Alec stays put, not wanting to frighten the boy. He motions for Magnus to crouch as well. Magnus follows the request and settles back on his haunches, he rests his hands on his knees.

A quivering voice comes from the young boy, in between sniffles, “Mommy - Mommy said I was a bad boy - she doesn’t want me any more - she told me to stay here.” Big tears begin to escape the boy’s eyes.

“Did something happen?” Magnus asks, concerned that a parent would abandon their child.

“I - I didn’t mean to. I just - got angry - and then - everything turned green - and he flew - and mommy got mad.”

“It was an accident, why don’t you come here and we can help you?” Alec tentatively reaches out a hand and holds it there.

The young boy’s eyes dart between the hand, Alec and Magnus. After a few moments of silence he uncurls a little and reaches out to Alec. As soon as the small hand is in his, Alec lightly closes his hand to hold the boy’s. He waits and eventually the boy comes closer. He tries not to cringe at the tattered clothes hanging from the boy’s slight frame. The clothes are loose and burned away in places. As the boy nears, Alec notices the scent of magic. He looks at Magnus and raises his brow in question. Magnus reaches out and pushes a pulse of his magic towards the boy.

The boy flinches but the magic dissipates without doing anything. Magnus blinks in surprise and looks at Alec, “Warlock.”

Alec looks back at the boy, “It’s okay. Magnus and I will take care of you now.”

Magnus asks, “What’s your name?”

The boy pauses and then answers, but to Alec, “Oliver.”

Alec smiles warmly, “That’s a good name Oliver. Why don’t we take care of you? Make sure you’re safe?”

Oliver nods hesitantly, biting his lip. He steps forward until he’s standing right in front of Alec. Alec takes in the thin, too big shirt hanging off Oliver’s shoulder. 

“Are you cold?”

Oliver nods.

Alec shrugs off his coat, then reaches out slowly to Oliver. He helps Oliver into it, though is dwarfed by the size. Alec opens his arms and Oliver walks right in. Magnus raises to his feet. He summons a portal.

Oliver’s eyes widen at the portal, and watches in awe. He lets Alec lift him up to settle on his hip, and Alec carries him through the portal.

Now in the loft, Magnus summons flames to the fireplace and removes his jacket. Alec settles Oliver on the couch and leaves the boy wrapped in his jacket.

Alec crouches down in front of Oliver, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Oliver shakes his head and looks at his own feet.

“Okay. Are you hungry? We can get you some food.”

Oliver nods.

“What would you like? Magnus can get you anything you want.”

Oliver looks up at Alec and widens his eyes. He whispers, “Anything?” 

Alec nods, and turns to look at Magnus, “Right Mags?”

“Right darling. Oliver whatever you’d like, just let me know.” Magnus says with a flourish of his hands.

Oliver’s eyes are fixed on Magnus now. Alec smiles, knowing how his warlock can be overwhelming at first.

Oliver’s small voice pipes up, “P-p-pizza?”

Magnus nods, “I can do that. What do you like on it?”

Not used to having a choice, Oliver looks at Alec in question who nods and motions at Magnus. “Sausage?”

Alec praises the choice, “Anything else?”

Oliver shakes his head.

Magnus claps his hands together, “Coming right up.” He disappears into the kitchen.

—

Jace knocks once on the office door. The Inquisitor had summoned him, and unfortunately he didn’t have an excuse to get him out of it.

“Come in!” Calls the Inquisitor.

Jace opens the door and takes a few steps in, shutting the door behind him before looking at the Inquisitor, “You wanted to see -“ His words stop abruptly as he sees another person in the room. He fights the immediate rage that threatens to overtake him. He wishes he could let go and just rip them to pieces.

Aldertree smirks up at Jace from his seat in front of the desk, “Hello Jace.”

Jace narrows his eyes, then rips his eyes away to glare at the Inquisitor.

“Take a seat Jace.”

“I’d rather stand.”

“Suit yourself.” The Inquisitor sits down.

Jace widens his stance and crosses his arms, trying to keep his breathing calm.

“I’ve heard some interesting things Jace.” The Inquisitor starts, folding her hands atop the desk.

Jace raises a brow.

“Apparently, you’ve continued to socialize with Magnus Bane and Alexander Lightwood.”

“And that matters why?”

The Inquisitor frowns at him, irritated, “I thought I had made my point quite clear the last few times we spoke on this topic. You are not to interact with that warlock, nor a de-runed exile.”

“And as I said, that matters because?”

The Inquisitor straightens and smirks, “I’ve asked Aldertree to return, just for this issue.” She motions to Aldertree who smiles. “If you continue this behavior I will have Alexander punished for continuing to interact with Shadowhunters. He was cast out, and is to retain no ties to our community.”

“Even if you wanted to, you can’t touch Alec. Not unless you want to start a war with the downworld.”

“I doubt one _mundane_ will cause more then a tiny ripple. But even the warlock can’t do anything to retaliate without invoking the Clave.” The Inquisitor sneers.

Aldertree crosses his legs, “We are in the right here. It falls under the Clave’s laws that an exile is still keeping ties to the Shadowhunter world. Face it Jace. Alexander is now a mundane. As such, he isn’t fit for attention.”

Jace bristles at their comments, “We are meant to protect mundanes, so there is no concern with interacting with one. As for Magnus, he’s High Warlock if you’ve forgotten. I believe the Accords provide protection to him and his people. And Alec is most definitely his. It will be seen as an attack on Magnus.”

The Inquisitor glances at Aldertree who responds, “We can’t infiltrate the warlock’s wards, but I’ve heard Alexander is venturing out. Who is to say something won’t happen on one of those excursions? It’ll be hard to prove anything.”

Jace snickers at their idiocy, “They won’t need to _prove_ anything. The only people wanting to harm Alec are you. The downworld already knows that Alec is with Magnus which means _hands off._ ”

Aldertree’s face falls for a moment before he composes himself, “If you won’t listen to the Inquisitor, just know that there will be retaliation of some kind. And not necessarily restricted to you Jace. And remember not all downworlders are loyal to Magnus.”

The Inquisitor waves her hand, “You’re dismissed Jace.”

Jace stalks out of the office and barely refrains from slamming the door. He doesn’t want them to know how much they got to him. He strides down the hall, he needs to find Izzy and warn Magnus.

—

Magnus, Alec and Oliver are at the dining room table, the pizza box open in between them. Magnus had summoned some new clothes for Oliver and Alec had helped him clean up. It was then that they found Oliver’s warlock mark, snake skin on his arms. There had been dried skin still peeling so Alec helped Oliver smooth over the skin and flake off dry patches. Magnus noticed this right away when they returned to the living room.

Oliver sat quietly at Alec’s side, Magnus across from him. 

Alec served Oliver a slice of pizza, “How many would you like?”

Oliver shrugs and meets Alec’s eyes, his look confused, “I can eat how many I want?”

Alec nods, “Of course. Until you’re full. How about you start with this one and then we can get you more when you’re done.”

Oliver nods. Magnus reaches out for Alec’s hand and gives it a squeeze. His angel was so good with children, and didn’t even blink at warlock marks. That was rare. He takes in the sight of Alec and Oliver and thinks, they could have this some day. Maybe not today, but someday. He smiles up at Alec, watching him talk with Oliver.

Once done eating, Magnus takes his plate to the kitchen. As he’s straightening from putting the plate in the dishwasher, his phone rings. He frowns at the caller ID.

“Hello Jace?”

“Magnus! Is Alec with you?” Jace questions, sounding out of breath.

“Yes of course he is-“

“You need to keep him there.”

“Why? What-“

“Aldertree is back.”

Magnus mouth opens, but no sound escapes. Fierce anger flares in his belly. “Where?!” He demands.

“At the Institute. The Inquisitor and Aldertree just told me that if I don’t cut ties with Alec that they’ll go after him.”  
“My wards-“

“Will keep him safe if he’s inside them. But what about when he goes out?”

“Who knows.”

“Me. Izzy. You.”

Magnus rubs his stubble.

Jace rambles on, “I can’t come see him right now. The way they were talking, they’re going to use any opportunity to get to him. They don’t even care that he’s with _you_! Aldertree said not all downworlders are loyal to you. So watch your back.”

“Don’t worry, we’re already back at the loft for tonight. We found a warlock child. Alexander’s with him now.”

“A child?”

“Yeah, long story. Your brother is handling him wonderfully, no surprise there.”

Jace huffs a laugh, “Yeah, no surprise.” After a prolonged pause he whispers, “I don’t know what to do. We can’t let them get Alec.”

Magnus’ free hand curls into a fist, “They won’t reach him. We’ll keep him safe.”

“I’ll, uh- I’ll call back in the morning? There’s nothing I can do right now.”

“I agree. I’ll handle things here for now.”

“Will you tell him?”

“Of course! Just need to settle Oliver for the night, then I’ll tell him.”

“Okay. Let me know how it goes.”

“Okay. Good night.”

“‘Night.”


	26. Chapter 26

Alec smiles at the young boy next to him. Oliver’s eyes are drooping, the remnants of a slice of pizza dangling from his fingers.

“Oliver.” Alec says quietly.

Oliver’s eyes open wide and he looks at Alec.

“I think we should get your ready for bed.”

Oliver sets down the food, “Okay.” 

Alec stands up and waits for Oliver to join him. Alec first shows Oliver where Magnus’ bedroom so Oliver knows where they’ll be if he needs them. Then Alec leads Oliver down the hallway to a guest bedroom.

“You can sleep in here, okay?”

Oliver nods, peeking around Alec’s side at the large room.

“Let’s get your teeth brushed, then you can lay down.”

Oliver follows Alec obediently. Once in the bathroom he brushes carefully, and Alec gives him privacy to use the bathroom. Once set, Alec leads him back to the bedroom. Alec pulls back the covers so Oliver can crawl into bed. Alec pulls the covers up and tucks him in.

“Shall I leave a light on?”

Oliver nods, his eyes wide.

“You can come get me for anything you need okay? Don’t worry if you wake me up.” Alec soothes the nervous boy.

“Okay.” Oliver whispers.

At the sight of Oliver so scared Alec sits down on the edge of the bed. “What do you usually do to fall asleep?”

Oliver hugs the covers close, “Mommy sings.”

“Ok. I’m not very good at singing, but I can try.” Alec adjusts his sitting position, his hip next to Oliver’s elbows. He reaches out and runs his fingers slowly through Oliver’s hair, humming softly under his breath. He changes tunes a few times, one or two that he remembers his mom singing to him, and then ones he knows from listening to them with Magnus.

Oliver’s eyes slowly drift closed and stay that way. His breathing deepens and slows.

Alec caresses Oliver’s scalp a few more times before slowly standing. He leaves the door cracked open so the hallway light shines into the room, but not too brightly. He smiles fondly at the sleeping boy before walking away.

Alec returns to the dining room to find the table already cleared. He turns and finds Magnus perched on the edge of the couch, staring out the balcony windows.

Alec approaches and calls out, “Magnus?”

Magnus doesn’t react, too consumed by his thoughts.

Alec reaches a hand out and grasps Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus startles and looks up at him. 

“Are you okay?”

Magnus just looks at him for a moment, solemn.

“What’s wrong?”

Magnus reaches out for Alec’s hand and pulls Alec down to sit at his side, “Jace called.”

Alec relaxes slightly, “Okay. What’d he say?”

Magnus grasps both of Alec’s hands tightly, “Alexander.”

Alec tenses again, this couldn’t be good, “What happened?”

Magnus lowers his eyes for a few moments, then looks back up at Alec, “Aldertree is back at the Institute.”

Alec physically recoils, Magnus’ hands the only thing keeping him in place. His heart thuds loudly, his breath quickens, his chest constricts, he feels the blood drain from his face.

Magnus takes in the gray pallor of Alec’s face, his defensive stance, his body curling in on itself. He squeezes Alec’s hands, “Darling, he can’t get to you. My wards won’t let anyone in unless I allow it.”

Alec doesn’t react to Magnus’ words. His mind revolting at the thought of his tormentor back.

“Alexander, look at me.” Magnus orders firmly. His words cut into the fog surrounding Alec. 

Alec looks up at Magnus’ golden cat eyes. 

“Love, you’re safe here. My wards will keep him out.” Magnus isn’t sure that the words permeate Alec’s fear. 

Alec’s pupils are blown in panic, his breath still shallow.

Magnus gathers Alec into his arms, Alec’s face nestled in the crook of his neck. He hugs Alec tight, then runs his hands up and down Alec’s arms and back.

“H-h-he’s b-back?” Alec murmurs into Magnus’ neck.

“Yes.” Magnus responds. He feels the shudder that runs through Alec’s body. “He can’t get you. I’d kill him before he even got near you. I promise you that.” He feels Alec’s hands fist in his shirt.

Flashes of his time with Aldertree play against Alec’s eyelids. He opens his eyes, but it continues, memories summoned by his turmoil. Magnus winces at the whimper that comes from Alec.

Magnus shushes Alec, “I’ll take care of him. Don’t worry, I’ll get rid of him.”

Magnus stays there with Alec curled into him for awhile. Alec’s body finally sags from exhaustion.

“Alexander?” Magnus asks.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go to bed.”

Alec sighs heavily and slowly disentangles himself from Magnus’ arms. Magnus takes in Alec’s red-rimmed eyes, tear tracks down his cheeks, the hollow look of his eyes. Magnus reaches up to cradle Alec’s face for a moment, wiping away dried tears with his thumbs. Alec closes his eyes and leans into Magnus’ touch.

“Come with me darling.” Magnus stands and guides Alec to his feet. 

Magnus rests a hand at the small of Alec’s back, gently pushing him along the hallway to the bedroom. He leads Alec to the bed and gets him to sit down. 

“Let me get you some pajamas.” Magnus pats Alec’s arm but doesn’t get a response. He summons Alec’s favorite pair, and slowly helps Alec change. Alec gives him no resistance. Magnus his own pajamas and quickly changes. The pulls the covers back. He climbs in, guiding Alec to follow. Alec ends up in Magnus’ arms, his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck. Magnus runs his hand up and down Alec’s back in a soothing motion.

Alec’s request is muffled by Magnus’ skin, “Don’t let them take me back. Please don’t.”

Magnus takes a deep breath, “Never darling. They won’t take you away.”

Alec body eventually relaxes with sleep, his breath ghosting against Magnus’ neck. Magnus lays awake for a long time, thinking of all the things he wished he could do, and what things he might possibly get away with. Sleep overtakes him eventually.

—

Alec rashes into consciousness from a nightmare for the third time that night. He sighs and runs his hands over his face. He rolls away from Magnus, who is thankfully undisturbed by him. 

Alec pulls the covers back and climbs out of bed. He quietly leaves the bedroom and heads to the kitchen, wanting a glass of water. Once he downs it he hangs his head, his hands bracing him against the countertop. 

_Aldertree is back_ , his mind chants. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block it out, but it doesn’t quiet the voice in his head. His hands grip the edge of the countertop tightly, the edges biting into his skin. Why was he so weak? Why was he so scared of Aldertree? He was a soldier. He should bounce right back from this. But here he was, cowering in fear. He huffs in frustration with himself. The thoughts begin to flood him mind, having opened the dam.

He used to fight demons, but he’s scared of a man? He still had nightmares of his time in Aldertree’s hands. His body was getting better, but his mind seemed to stagnate, stuck on the memories, the nightmares. He’d carry marks from Aldertree for the rest of his life, and still struggled with seeing them. And somehow Magnus was still with him, even with all his scars, with all his nightmares. How was Magnus still here? He’s so relieved to have Magnus, sure that he wouldn’t have survived long without him. He still regrets having had put Magnus in that position. Thinking back to the start of this path he has realized he wouldn’t have chosen differently. Magnus was his life, and he couldn’t go against his belief that downworlders were people to be respected. They were people like Catarina, kids like Marina and Oliver. They didn’t deserve the hate and disregard.

Alec sighs and looks down at the sink. He straightens and runs his hands through his hair. He exits the kitchen to the hallway and stops. Muffled crying coming from the guest room. He made his way to the door and peeks in at Oliver. The boy was sitting up, hugging his knees to his chest, crying. Alec knocks softly and enters, Oliver silencing his cries at Alec’s entrance.

“Hey Oliver.” Alec approaches the bed and sits down next to the boy. “Bad dream?”

Oliver nods, wiping the tears and snot from his face with the back of his hand.

Alec opens his arms and Oliver climbs into his lap and nestles into his chest. Alec rubs the boy’s back, “It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

Alec feels a wave of grief that someone so young would go through this. Being abandoned by their family, by their parents. He himself was having a hard time and he was adult. To force that on a young child was cruel, but that was the way of the world at times. 

He works at soothing and calming Oliver, trying to make it better even if only slightly. After a time the sniffles fade.

“Shall we try to sleep again?” Alec asks.

He feels Oliver shake his head against his chest.

“What if I stay with you?”

“Okay.” Oliver mumbles.

Alec pulls back the covers as Oliver climbs off his lap. Alec crawls under the covers and lets Oliver snuggle up to him. Once they’re settled Alec begins to hum, trying to lull Oliver to sleep. He listens to Oliver’s breaths and waits for them to even out.

Alec stays awake for quite awhile, just staring at the ceiling. 

—

Magnus wakes to an empty bed. His brow furrows, knowing Alec hadn’t slept much last night. He gets up and pads down the hallway. He pauses at guest room and peeks in. He smiles when he sees Alec with Oliver curled against him.

Magnus pulls the door closed and lets it latch quietly. The day would come for them soon enough, they should get what sleep they could.

He busies himself getting ready for the day and making preparations for Oliver to go to the Warlock haven where he’d be taken care of. On an unrelated topic, he decides to send a fire message to the Clave, a long shot, but it never hurt to try.

—

Alec and Oliver appear later on, their hair sticking in all directions. Magnus smiles fondly, glad that they got some sleep.

“Good morning lovelies.” Magnus pats Oliver on the head, and gives Alec a quick kiss.

“Morning.” Alec mumbles, still waking up.

Magnus looks at the two people in front of him, “Hungry?” His question is met with nods. He motions towards the dining room table, “Have a seat and I’ll summon up a quick something.”

They all take a seat and Magnus summons a breakfast spread of waffles and toppings. Oliver’s eyes widen.

“Magic?” He asks, amazed.

Magnus nods, “Yes, and you’ll learn how to do it too.”

“Really?” Oliver’s eyes are wide.

“You and me, we are warlocks.”

“Warlocks?”

“We can do magic. Though you’ll need to learn first.”

Oliver looks between the food and Magnus. Alec serves them each a plate full of food.

Alec watches Oliver and offers him a napkin when he gets some food on his chin.

“Oliver, there is a safe place for warlocks to go and learn magic.”

“Yeah?” Oliver says between bites.

“Yes. It’s a special place just for young warlocks. You’ll meet other kids like you and learn to control your magic.”

“So I have to leave?”

Alec smiles softly, “I wouldn’t be able to help you learn. I’m not a warlock. It’d be better for you to learn from other warlocks.”

Oliver deflates, “Oh.”

“I’m sorry.” Alec offers.

Magnus adds, “You’ll be happy there. No need to worry.”

“When do I have to go?”

Alec looks at Magnus who replies, “I’ll take you after breakfast.”

“Okay.” Oliver shrugs and turns back to his food.

They finish breakfast without more conversation. Once everything is cleaned up, they get ready for Oliver to go with Magnus. Alec helps Oliver clean up and look more presentable. When Magnus takes Oliver’s hand Oliver pauses.

He looks at Alec, “You’re coming too right?”

Alec shakes his head, “I’m not a warlock so I can’t go.” He kneels in front of Oliver and gives him a hug, “I know you’re going to like it there and learn a lot. You’ll do great.”

“Time to go.” Magnus says as he summons the portal. He and Oliver wave at Alec before stepping through, disappearing from Alec’s sight.

Alec sighs, he had like Oliver, but knew it was best for Oliver to be with warlocks so he could learn. Alec really couldn’t help with that.

He turns to the couch and decides to read while he waits for Magnus to return.

—

Fire messages did prove themselves useful at times. Magnus had been waiting on a response to the one he had sent a few days ago, and it had finally arrived. It was in support of his request, he did have the Accords on his side.

He waved another fire message into being and sent it off to the Institute. He pulled out his phone and texted Izzy. He exited the office and found his angel reading a book in the living room.

“Darling, I’ll be portalling your dear brother and sister here in a moment.” He glanced at his watch.

Alec quirked his brow, “What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain the plan as soon as they’re here.”

Alec shut his book and set it on the coffee table, sitting up. Magnus opened a portal and through it walked Izzy and Jace. Alec took the three of them in, they looked… lethal.

“What’s going on?”

“Something long overdue big brother.” Izzy winked at him, an evil smirk on her lips.

Jace addressed Magnus directly, “I’m assuming the Clave is supporting us on this?”

Magnus nodded, “Completely.”

“The Clave?!” Alec exclaimed. He rose to his feet, “What. Is. Going. On!”

Jace motioned to Magnus who replied, “Alexander, I’ve had enough of Aldertree and the Inquisitor. I contacted the Clave about their actions and continued disgraceful behavior. Not surprising, but they have agreed to my request to have a bit of… revenge shall we say?” Magnus looks at Izzy and then Jace who nod in agreement. 

Alec’s eyes widen ever further with Magnus’ response, fear creeping in.

Jace crosses his arms, “I think the Clave is realizing that they let Aldertree and the Inquisitor too far off leash.”

Izzy flips her hair over her shoulder, her blood red lips gleaming against her white teeth, “We finally get to get a piece of them.”

Alec looks at them, at a loss for words, “You can’t…” His words die off.

Magnus steps forward and puts his hands on Alec’s arms, “We’re going to go meet with our dear Inquisitor and Aldertree. Have some words, maybe spill some blood,“ Magnus’ eyes turn hard, “or come up with something even better.”

Alec grabs Magnus’ forearms, desperate to ground himself, “Mags, you… What if something happens? They’re aren’t just going to let you walk up there and do what you want.” He swallows forcefully, “They could do something to you, any of you.” He glances at each one of them, and his grip tightens on Magnus, “Please. Don’t do this.”

Magnus’ voice turns deadly, “Aldertree signed his own death sentence when he laid a hand on you. Now he wants to harm you further?! That is not something I’m going to tolerate.”

Alec flinches at his tone, anxiety roiling in his chest. Izzy comes to his side and clasps his shoulder, “Alec, we have the support of the Clave. We aren’t running into this without the law on our side. They won’t be able to do anything to us.”

Jace steps closer, “The Clave is sending in soldiers as we speak to meet us there.”

Alec’s fingers spasm around Magnus’ arms, his voice quiet when he finally speaks, “Don’t leave me.”

Magnus leans in to rest his forehead against Alec’s, “Never Alexander.”

Jace squeezes Alec’s free shoulder, “We’ll never leave your side Alec.”

Izzy leans to rest her cheek against Alec’s shoulder where her hand rests, “We’ll always be here big brother, but you have to let us do this.”

Magnus’ phone chirps and Magnus straightens, “Time to go.” He looks at Izzy and Jace, “Ready?”

They nod and pull away from Alec. Magnus moves to follow, but is held in place by Alec’s grip. He gently twists his arms from Alec’s grip and reaches up to cradle Alec’s face. “I need to do this. Please let me do this.” He leans in to press a soft kiss to Alec’s lips.

Alec squeezes his eyes shut and nods, “Okay.”

Magnus pulls away and Alec watches the three of them disappear through the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love and give me motivation to continue writing! I love to hear your thoughts on what's happening and what's to come.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First part of their revenge, and a glimpse of Alec's concern.

Alec watches as Magnus, Izzy and Jace disappear through the portal. He stands staring at the space where the portal had been for minutes. White noise fills his ears, his heart thuds loudly in his chest. His palms sweat, his legs shake, unstable. His breathing quickens.

At some point Alec finds himself on the floor, his legs having collapsed. He rubs his hands on his thighs and then runs them roughly thorough his hard and over his face. 

_They’re okay. They’ll be okay_. He chants in his head. He presses a palm against his chest and tries to slow his breathing down. He tries valiantly to convince himself of the trio’s safety, but wayward thoughts force their way in, worries increasing.

What if this was trick? What if the Clave just wanted to get their hands on them? What if they do something to them? There’s no way Magnus, Izzy and Jace could take on all the Shadowhunters in the Institute and the reinforcements that the Clave would have sent. 

As the thoughts continue, his breaths quickens to quick, shallow pants. Panic rises, and he’s unable to calm himself. Black spots blur his vision. He realizes he’s going to pass out. It happens rather fast. The black spots take over and then he’s out.

—

Magnus exits the portal, flanked by Izzy and Jace, coming to a stop a dozen feet from the steps of the Institute. He sees the Inquisitor and Aldertree waiting in front of the door, surrounded by guards. He lets a sly smile slide over his face, “Fancy seeing you here.”

The Inquisitor stiffens at Magnus’ lack of respect, “Warlock, you called us here. What do you want?”

Aldertree grins, “Are you ready to hand Alexander over?”

Magnus’ eyes flash gold at Aldertree who flinches, though he tries to immediately compose himself. Magnus feels Jace and Izzy’s presence at his side.

He swirls his fingers until blue flame appears, “I’ve been busy of late. And I’ve been talking with the most delightful people!”

The Inquisitor raises her brow but doesn’t respond.

“The Clave.” Magnus clarifies, and enjoys the flashes of concern crossing the two faces in front of him.

He tilts his head to the side, “I let them know about your activities and that you are threatening someone under my protection. And let’s just say they weren’t… pleased.” He takes a step forward. “I made a request and it was granted, which surprised me slightly. After all it would allow me to harm you.”

He could feel the menacing glee from Jace and Izzy.

The Inquisitor speaks first, “This is preposterous. The Clave backs my actions-“

Magnus interrupts, losing patience, “They may have initially, but no longer. You’re wasting valuable resources on this little obsession of yours. The Clave is sending guards as we speak to take you away. So let’s speed this up, shall we?” He turns to Aldertree, and laces his voice with steel, “Now _you_. I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you. We all have.” He motions to the two Shadowhunters next to him. “I’ve spent many moments debating on just what I would do if given the chance.”

Aldertree’s stance is still sure, but Magnus can see his composure weakening.

Magnus takes another step forward and shoots some magic out towards Aldertree, it dissipates before it hits him. Aldertree takes a step back, cringing momentarily.

The trio laugh.

Magnus strides forward until he is but a pace away from Aldertree, looming. He can feel Jace and Izzy at his back. Magnus whispers menacingly, “I had so many ideas. So many desires. So many blood splattered dreams.” 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the Inquisitor open her mouth. His hand shoots out, stopping the words before they can escape. He turns his head slowly to glare at her, “Don’t tempt me” his next words drip distain, “Madam Inquisitor.” Magic is flaring around his hands. 

The Inquisitor’s mouth snaps shut and she retreats a step. Magnus turns his attention back to Aldertree. He almost respects the man for standing his ground so far, but he doesn’t have room for anything but anger and hate at the moment.

Magnus reaches out and pats his hand on Aldertree’s lapel, “So many choices. We had some favorites, didn’t we?”

Izzy and Jace hum in agreement.

“Quite a few.” Izzy adds.

Jace smirks, “We also thought of how many things we could do, healing you in between, endlessly really.”

Magnus resumes the lead, “We did like that idea best, but alas we do not have the time to play that out.”

“So unfortunate.” Izzy hisses, Magnus can almost see the venom of the words.

“So we had to settle for something else.” Magnus sends a harmless pulse of magic through Aldertree who flinches, taking another step back.

The trio mirror him, taking a step forward to keep close.

Clave guards arrive at the Institue’s doors. The leader steps forward as the Inquisitor and Aldertree turn towards him.

“By orders of the Consul you are to be brought forth for trial.”

The Inquisitor’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, unable to speak. Aldertree stiffens.

Magnus swirls his magic in the air and interrupts, “But first, we get some _alone_ time.”

Both of the accused turn to Magnus, eyes wide and worry on their faces. 

Izzy makes a shooing motion, “Let’s get started shall we?”

Jace smirks, “Let’s move this to somewhere more _private_.”

The guards escort the Inquisitor and Aldertree, with Magnus, Jace and Izzy trailing behind.

They make their way down to the interrogation rooms, and the guards put the Inquisitor and Aldertree in separate rooms.

The lead guard steps forward to address the trio, “You have 15 minutes with the former Inquisitor and an hour with Aldertree.”

Magnus frowns, “We were promised more time.”

The lead guard shakes his head, “The Consul changed his mind. Take it or leave it.”

Jace steps forward, “We’ll take it.”

The lead guard motions towards the former Inquisitor, “If you would be so kind to start with her first. We need to get moving.”

Magnus nods and leads the way into the room.

The former Inquisitor seems so small, huddled in on herself.

Izzy stalks forward, “How does it feel? Being at another’s mercy?” She reaches out to poke the former Inquisitor on the shoulder, who flinches.

Magnus waits in silence. Jace, however, can’t keep quiet, “I still don’t understand what your problem is with Alec. Or are you really just a racist bigot?” The words are laced with anger.

The former Inquisitor straightens and looks at them haughtily, “A not only gay Shadowhunter but who is with a Downworlder? It’s unacceptable.”

Magnus responds, “Racist bigot it is than.”

Izzy circles the prisoner, “Times a wasting boys.”

Jace shrugs, “I spent most of my time dreaming up things for Alertree. She was an afterthought. Though she does deserve something.”

Magnus suggests, “How about she feels the everything Aldertree did to Alec. See what she thinks of that?”

Izzy cackles, “That sounds fabulous.”

The former Inquisitor retreats into a corner, “You can’t do that.”

Magnus smirks, “I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Of course I can do that. Should have thought of that _before_ torturing my boyfriend.”

Jace and Izzy return to stand behind Magnus as he nears the figure in the corner.

He whispers an incantation and places his hand on the former Inquisitor’s chest. A pulse of magic goes from his hand to her body.

“Enjoy this _gift_ from us to you.”

They exit the room to the beginning of whimpering.

Jace clasps and rubs his hands together, “Now for the main event.”

Magnus and Izzy smile.

—

Alec awakes to deafening silence. Just the sound of his breath in his ears. He’s sprawled on the floor where he collapsed and his body feels spent, exhausted. He stares at the ceiling while he tries to remember what he’s doing here on the floor, brain still fuzzy.

It comes back to him slowly. Magnus, Izzy and Jace left him to go to the Institute. To get their hands on the Inquisitor and Aldertree. A shudder runs through his body at Aldertree’s name.

Alec rolls over and slowly gets to his feet. He takes the few steps to the couch and sinks down into the cushions. His eyes linger over where the portal had been. He bites his lower lip and desperately waits for a portal to open, to see the trio walk through, unharmed.  He leans forward, elbows on his knees, face in his hands. He exhales heavily, trying to release some of the tension in his body. 

He creates a mantra, placing it on loop. _They’re okay, they’ll be fine, they’re okay, they’ll be fine._

Alec zones out, only the repeating phrase in his mind. When he comes back to the present he looks at the clock. An hour has passed. Nerves start to rise. 

_Shouldn’t they be back by now_? He thinks. _Does the Clave have them_?

His good leg bounces up and down, belying his anxiety.

_I should have gone with… No, I’m too weak. I’m a coward. I would be a liability… It’d be better than sitting here not knowing what’s happening_.

He bites his nail and waits.

—

Jace leads the way into the room Aldertree is waiting in, rolling a tray in with him. Magnus shuts the door behind them, the latch clicking loudly in the silence.

Izzy takes a step forward, her heels clicking against the hard floor, she eyes Aldertree up like a piece of meat at the butcher’s, “It’s playtime Aldertree.”

Magnus takes a moment while anger threatens to overtake him. He wants this to _hurt_. He wants to leave an _impression_. Leave behind _nightmares_. He needs to keep his head to take full advantage of this opportunity.

Aldertree’s eyes flit to the tray Jace is leaning on. Jace smirks, and waves a hand over it, “This? We heard about some of your favorite toys. Figured we could make use of them.”

Izzy makes her way around the room, fingernail trailing along the cement wall. She comes to a stop by Aldertree, “Did you have Alec in a room like this?”

Aldertree remains silent.

Magnus speaks up, “Let’s get started.” 

He snaps his fingers and Aldertree’s shirt and jacket are gone, leaving his chest exposed. Aldertree flinches.

Jace comes up to Aldertree and pushes a finger into his shoulder, “Sit.” He presses harder and Aldertree backs up until his legs hit the chair. Jace places a hand on Aldertree’s shoulder and presses down, making Aldertree sit.

Izzy holds out the leather restraints. Magnus, impatient, waves his hand and all the restraints wrap around Aldertree, holding him still.

“Before we get into it, a few things.” Magnus takes a few steps forward, “Let’s make sure you stay awake,” He pushes a pulse of orange magic at Aldertree, followed by a second as Magnus clarifies, “and feel the pain more acutely.”

Aldertree tries to spit at Magnus, hissing, “Get away from me warlock. You all will pay for it if you touch me. I’ve got failsafes.”

Magnus arches his brow, “The Clave has given us leave to do as we please… mostly. And I don’t see how you’re in a position to make threats.”

Jace says, “The Clave won’t let us kill you. So we can’t do that.”

Aldertree is visibly relieved at this.

Magnus smirks, “There are things I can do to make you regret your very existence. But first, some physical experiences are in order.”

Izzy grabs something from the tray and dips it in the liquid before slinking over to hover in front of Aldertree, “Let’s give you some contours, shall we?”

Jace grabs a knife from the tray and comes to Izzy’s side, “Yes, let’s.”

Magnus watches Aldertree’s face as Jace and Izzy each start slicing with their tools coated in demon blood. Aldertree grimaces, then hisses. He gasps when Jace gets too passionate and presses deep.

Magnus lets Izzy and Jace have their moment, he finds himself hovering between now and the time Alec told him what had happened during his time with Aldertree. He hears Alec’s whispered words, overlaying the noises from the scene in front of him. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a deep breath, then opens his eyes to focus on what is happening.

Aldertree’s eyes widen and he grunts, struggling to get away when Izzy brings the knife to his forehead.

Izzy makes a jagged line down his face, pursing her lips, “Let’s not forget this one.”

Izzy and Jace take their times slicing at Aldertrees’ skin. Arms, shoulders, chest, stomach, back. Magnus watches but finds himself oddly removed from the situation. He shakes his head, he should be enjoying this. But all he can focus on is that this is what Alec went through, and getting a more vivid picture of the events Alec told him about. Orange flames bustle into being around his hands and up his arms as the rage boils.

Jace and Izzy step away from Aldertree, blood dripping from their knives. Jace cocks his head, “What’s next?”

Magnus fists his hands, “Agony rune.”

Aldertree struggles against his restraints, panting at the pain and with fear.

Jace takes the knives back to the tray, “Izzy you want to go first?”

“Gladly.” Izzy takes out her stele and presses it to Aldertree’s chest. She begins drawing the rune, “My pleasure.”

They all stand aside when the rune if finished and watch Aldertree scream in pain and struggle desperately against the leather straps. Magnus winces as Aldertree’s screams morph to Alec’s in his ears. He is torn between hatred for the man in front of him, and grief that his angel had gone through this. Seeing it first hand was giving life to his nightmares of what Alec had endured. He closes his eyes for a moment to center himself.

Aldertree’s yells turn into rough pants as the rune wears off. His body slumps in the chair, held up by the straps. Magnus steps in front of Aldertree and waits for his eyes to open. When they find his, Magnus smiles at Aldertree. Magnus reaches out and rests a fingertip on Aldertree’s shoulder. He murmurs a few words and slowly runs his finger down and the skin peels off in its wake. He ignores the noises from Aldertree and just watches in fascination as the skin flakes to the side, revealing what’s underneath. He burns a trail down Aldertree’s torso, shoulder to hip. He pulls his hand away and waits for Aldertree to settle, then he moves to the other shoulder and repeats the process. His magic flickers orange as his finger moves. Finished, he pulls back and stands at Izzy and Jace’s sides. 

Jace pulls out his stele, “My turn.” He goes to Aldertree’s chest and traces another agony rune.

They all watch Aldertree’s reaction.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so into this I have another chapter for you.
> 
> Comments are the fuel to my writing fire!

When Aldertree recovers from the second rune he lifts his head and glares at Magnus. Then he has the audacity to smirk, “You’re letting anger guide your actions. They’re sloppy. No finesse. This is an art form.”

The three stare at him as he spits to the side.

Aldertree continues, “Now what I did with Alec… _That_ was art. The sounds that he made. The way his skin parted and burned.” He closes his eyes, enjoying the memory.

Magnus has his hand squeezing Aldertree’s neck in a flash. He forces Aldertree’s head back against the head rest and increases the pressure against the throat in his hands. Aldertree gasps for breath, Magnus’ hands cutting off his air.

Magnus feels Jace and Izzy grabbing at his arms, trying to pull him off. It takes a few seconds before the roar in his ears fades enough for him to hear them.

“Magnus, let go!” Izzy says as she pulls on his arm.

Jace yanks on the other, “He doesn’t deserve death.”

At those words Magnus releases his hold and takes a step back, panting in rage. Aldertree gasps, and then he laughs. He laughs!

“So easy to bait.” Aldertree rasps, his head hanging down, “How is _dear_ Alexander? How’d he heal? I bet he’s beautiful with my marks all over his skin.”

Jace crosses his arms, “I’m tempted to cut out his tongue. Any objections?”

Magnus grits his teeth and stays silent. Izzy, however, nods aggressively. Magnus reaches out his hands to rest one on each of their arms.

He whispers, “Not yet… Maybe when we’re finished.”

Aldertree ignores their conversation and keeps talking, “The _things_ I’d love to know. Nightmares? Can he walk? Can he hold anything with his hand? I’d _love_ to see him, my masterpiece. Does he think of me in the dark? When he’s alone?”

Jace, hatred boiling in his blood, takes a step forward and ruthlessly punches Aldertree. Aldertree’s face snaps to the side, his words cut off. Jace leans in, his eyes follow the blood dripping from Aldertree’s mouth before going back to Aldertree’s eyes. “What do you think would happen if I just went ahead and killed you?” Jace tips his head to the side, “I don’t think the Clave would do much to me, wiping scum like you off the floor.”

Aldertree turns his head back and smiles, blood coating his teeth, “The Clave _owns_ you, just like it owns everyone. You don’t listen, and you get what Alec got. Haven’t you learned yet? Or are you that dumb?”

Magnus wraps his hand around Aldertree’s wrist, and hisses, “How about we hear what sounds _you_ make when you burn.”

Aldertree’s eyes widen as Magnus’ hand is quickly enveloped by orange flames. Then the burning starts. The incredible heat. The flesh sizzling. Aldertree yells out and struggles against his bonds. Magnus move his hand upwards oh so slowly, and the heat follows, the boiling flesh expanding into new territory. Magnus pauses at Aldertree’s elbow and pulls away, inspecting his work.

Jace takes a step forward to get a better look, “Impressive.”

Magnus glances at Jace, then returns his attention to Aldertree who is groaning in pain, his body lax against the restraints. 

Izzy tsks, “So easily silenced Aldertree?”

—

Alec doesn’t know what to do as he waits. His nails are bitten, his lips bleeding from how much he’s bitten them. But he can’t find it in himself to stop. 

He stands at the impulse to go find Jace, Izzy and Magnus. Then he sits again realizing that he can’t help them. He’d most likely be a hinderance.

He stands again and begins pacing, trying to use up some of the nervous energy flowing in his veins. Time passes, slowly.

Alec pauses at the sound of something outside the front door.

A voice calls out, “Alec!”

Alec stiffens, and whispers “Jace?”

His long legs carry him to the front door in no time. 

“Jace?!” He calls. 

“Alec!” 

Alec opens the door to peek out. He sees Jace, bloody and beaten, leaning on the stair railing like it’s the only thing holding him up. Alec stands frozen in the doorway.

“Alec.” Jace says, “It was a trap.”

“Where’s Magnus? Izzy?”

“Magnus is downstairs, I can’t carry him up. You have to help me.”

Alec takes a step forward, barely out the doorway, “How bad-“ He can’t get the rest of the question out against the lump in his throat.

Jace lowers himself to sit on the top step, “Bad Alec. Help me get Magnus up the stairs.”

Alec strides forward to Jace’s side, he starts leaning over, “Let’s get you inside first. I’ll go down -“

Alec is cut off as Jace suddenly rises and grabs him, pulling him forward to slam him down onto the stairs. Alec’s back hits the edges of a few stairs, his head hitting another one. He sees stars.

“Jace.” He gasps, his hands grabbing at the arms holding him down.

“Not Jace.” 

—

“Give him a matching set Magnus.” Jace motions to Aldertree’s other arm.

“Lemme give him another agony rune first.” Izzy holds up her stele.

Magnus steps back, making room for Izzy.

Without giving Aldertree time to catch his breath, Izzy draws the rune.

When the screams lessen and turns to great heaving breaths Jace turns toward Izzy and Magnus, “Time’s almost up.”

Izzy sighs in disappointment, “But we’re having so much _fun_.” Her lower lips juts out in an exaggerated pout.

They wait until Aldertree lifts his head up, resting it back against the head rest.

Aldertree gives a faint smile, “Is that it? Is that all you can do?”

Magnus shakes his head, “Our time may be almost over, but we selected something you’ll carry around all your days. To… _remind_ you of who you crossed and how that was a _very_ bad idea.”

Silence hangs with anticipation.

“Jace? Why don’t you share with dear Aldertree here what has been selected?” Magnus leans back while Jace takes a step forward, now in line with Magnus.

Jace smiles, all teeth, “We want you to feel. Every. Little. Scratch. Every. little. Prick.”

“You’re going to feel the pain you caused Alec.” Izzy spits in derision.

Magnus sneers, “Tenfold.”

He reaches out to lay his palm flat on Aldertree’s chest and can feel the man trembling. He gathers his power in his hand and speaks the spell. Magic bursts from his hand and surrounds Aldertree.

The trio take a step back as the magic settles into Aldertree’s skin.

Jace laughs and adds, “Every. Single. Day.”

The Clave guards enter the room. One speaking up, “Your time is over.” 

Magnus glares one last time at Aldertree, leans forward and speaks, words deadly and full of ice, “This is what happens when you harm me and mine.”

Izzy waves as she exits the room with Jace and Magnus. Once they’re outside the front doors Magnus takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. 

Jace breaks the silence, “Not how I dreamed it would go, but with our limited options I think we chose well.”

“I feel a bit better. How about you?” Izzy asks.

Magnus turns towards them, “I think I do as well.”

“Shall we get back to Alec?” Jace suggests.

Magnus nods, summoning a portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp*  
> How's that? ;)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are worshipped!! If you've commented at any point, please know I <3 you!!!

Still stunned by his head hitting the stair, Alec struggles weakly against the hands holding him down. He feels himself lifted up by his arms, then arms encircle his chest, heaving him up as the attacker gets to their feet. 

“Up you go.” Grunts Jace’s voice as Alec is lifted.

Alec’s head lolls but the blood thudding in his ears is starting to fade. 

“No.” He whispers, meaning to shout it. This was _not_ happening. It wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going back. Not without a fight. He focuses on the person wearing Jace’s face. 

Alec draws back an arm and pops them in the face, right in the nose. He feels the crunch of bone as they yell out in pain, bringing one hand up to stanch the blood beginning to drip. His hand screams at him, but he ignores it.

Now with only one arm holding him, Alec brings one leg and hooks it around the attackers leg and yanks . Not prepared, the attacker tips back. Alec uses the distraction to get his feet under him and throw himself forward. He starts scrambling up the stairs. He makes it about 3 stairs before the attacker grabs his ankles in both hands. Alec tries to kick them off, but they have each ankle in a hand. He glances back and sees the attacker has planted his feet on a step and is leaning back to pull Alec back.

Alec pushes himself back, causing the attacker to stumble so they won’t fall. One of their hands leave his ankle free. Alec kicks out with the freed foot and connects with the arm holding his other ankle. Unfortunately they don’t release their hold.

Adrenaline rushing through his blood, it’s eerily quiet except for his pants and the attacker’s grunts and hushed curses. 

Alec feels both hands return to his captured ankle. He kicks out again with his free leg and connects with fingers. 

“God DAMMIT.” The attacker yells, tightening his hold on Alec’s ankle. “Just be a good boy and come along now.”

The attacker yanks on the leg, his bad leg, and Alec’s hip and lower back scream in pain. Alec lets out a grunt, but that is all he’s willing to acknowledge. Alec kicks out again but the attacker snatches his foot, quickly encircling his ankle. Now both ankles were once again in their hands. The attacker slams Alec’s legs down, his shins crashing against the edges of the stairs.

This time Alec yells out in sudden pain. He grabs a stair edge near his face, and pulls as hard as he can. He doesn’t make much headway, the attacker pulling the other direction.

The attacker yanks on both of Alec’s legs, lets go and throws himself on top of Alec, pressing him down against the stairs. Alec tries to roll, but the attacker grabs his arms and hooks their leg around Alec’s.

Jace’s voice comes from their lips, “You’re not a shadowhunter anymore Alec. You’re no match for me with my runes.”

Alec lets his body go lax, becoming dead weight. The attacker pauses, unsure how to handle this sudden lack of struggle.

Alec can hear their smirk, “There we go. No use fighting.”

The attacker unhooks their legs, and uses their hands to push both their upper bodies up off the stairs. Alec follows, then his knees land on a stair. He bends them, smashing his kneecaps against the stair back and throws his weight backwards. They overbalance and topple backwards. Alec, still in the attacker’s hold, falls back and lands on top of them. He hears the air being knocked out of their chest when they land on the stairs. The hands loosen slightly. Alec rolls to the side, catching himself on his hands. He brings his knees down a few steps as he goes up with his hands, then he pushes as hard as he can and grabs the railing. He pulls himself up and twists, facing up the stairs again.

The wards. He just has to get behind the wards.

The attacker yanks on Alec’s right shoulder, causing him to turn towards them. A knife flies out and rests against his throat.

Between pants the attacker grunts, “You… little.. bitch!” They spit to the side and grin at him, blood coating their teeth. “Going to cooperate now?”

Alec scowls at them, fisting his hands at his sides. Rage fills him and he says, “Why don’t you show yourself?” When the attacker doesn’t move Alec continues, “Too much of a coward?”

The attacker contorts Jace’s face into a fierce snarl, “I’m _done_ with your struggling. I’ve got plans for you, lots of plans. Quite a few people want you… Shall we say _removed_? Time to make a profit.”

The attacker moves to the step above Alec, keeping the knife at his throat. They wrap their free arm around Alec’s shoulder and chest. They nudge Alec forward with their shoulder.

Trapped, Alec obeys and descends a few stairs. Almost at the bottom Alec gets a surge of desperation. He was _not_ going to let them take him. He’d had _enough_.

He grabs the arm of the hand holding the knife and jerks it forward. He feels the knife slice shallowly at his neck before being wrenched away. He strains against the attacker’s arm, their biceps bulging at the edge of his vision. He moves a hand to the attacker’s wrist and jams his fingers against the pressure points. The attacker’s hand releases its grip on the knife. It falls to the steps and bounces to the entrance floor with a clatter. Alec tries to to move after the knife but the attacker’s hold tightens against him, one arm coming up around Alec’s neck.

“That’s enough!” The attacker shouts.

Alec’s hands claw at the arm around his throat. He tries kicking back with his foot. He connects but doesn’t get more than a grunt of response. He gasps, trying to breathe, and continues to struggle. 

“Stop… fighting.” The attacker orders amid Alec’s flailing movements.

Black spots start to spring up in Alec’s vision.

“Alexander?!?” Magnus calls.

He hears Jace next, “Alec!?!”

Izzy echoes, “Alec?!?”

Alec’s heart surges with hope. He tries to cry out, but doesn’t have the breath to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI if I don't get a chapter up on Tuesday, you'll have to wait until next Monday. I have a convention this weekend for my other fandom (Supernatural), so I'm busy Wednesday until I'm back at 5am on Monday. Then I'm hoping to catch up on sleep.  
> On a related note, I NEED to go to a convention where Shadowhunters cast will be. That's next on my list. I must get some hugs!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short, but didn't want to keep you waiting.

Alec grabs desperately for the attacker’s face. He drags his fingers down, scratching. He finds the eyes and digs his fingers in as hard as he can. The attacker yells out, jerking their head back. Alec holds tight as the arm loosens around his neck. He gasps, taking in great lungfuls of air.

The attacker brings his hands up to claw at Alec’s hands. Alec loses his grip and falls to his hands and knees. He’s free for a moment and he throws himself forward, reaching for the fallen knife. He miscalculates and grabs part of the blade in addition to the handle, slicing his first two fingers. He adjusts his grip, bringing the knife closer to his chest, blade out. He pushes himself up and turns.

The attacker is lunging at him, a curse on their lips. Everything slows down. Alec hears other voices, but it’s all deafened by the white noise roaring in his ears. 

Emotions twist inside him. Fear, anger, hate, despair. Determination drowns all the others out as Alec grabs the knife’s handle with both hands. He drives it forward with all the strength he has left and watches as the knife plunges into the attacker’s chest. He feels the resistance in the handle, but just pushes harder. He hears the attacker’s breath catch, sees their arms stutter, hands moving towards the blade embedding itself in their chest.

When his hands and the handle hit the attacker’s shirt, Alec lets go and stumbles back a step, his feet uncoordinated. He watches the attacker bend over, hands now on the handle, gripping it tightly. Alec’s legs go numb and he begins to fall to the floor. Hands grab him and slow his descent. He sees two blurs ram into the attacker, causing them to fall over.

Alec blinks, still dazed. _I’m ok. I’m ok. I’m ok_. Is on loop in his head. They didn’t take him. He stopped them. _He_ stopped them.

He turns his head to see who caught him. Magnus. Magnus has him. He feels Magnus open his hand and he looks down to see blood on his hands. When did that happen? He frowns and turns back to Magnus who is intent on his hand. He feels the barest warmth of Magnus’ magic and hisses at the sting in his hand. Magnus is asking him something, he can see Magnus’ lips moving, but for the life of him, he can’t understand what’s being said. He has the slight impression that Magnus has him cradled in his arms.

He blinks his eyes and suddenly everything speeds up, the lights too intense, the sounds too loud. His breath hitches with the intensity of everything going on at once. He looks back at Magnus and can see the worry marring Magnus’ face. Concern evident in his eyes.

Magnus notices Alec’s attention, “Darling are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Alec shakes his head, looking back down at his hands. He curls and then opens them, watching the drying blood move with his skin. He looks back up at Magnus. He turns his head and finds Izzy and Jace looming over the attacker who still has their hands on the knife. 

“Alexander.”

Alec returns his attention to Magnus. He feels unrooted, only loosely connected to his body, the signals from his body seem so far away he can only get the barest impression. He leans into the soothing touch of Magnus’ hand now cradling his cheek. He reaches up a hand and rests it atop of Magnus’, then remembers the blood coating them. He pulls it away slowly, frowning.

“Sorry… Blood.”

Magnus’ brow remains furrowed, “Darling, I think you’re in shock.”

Alec tries to take stock of his body but it still seems fuzzy, the sensations off. “I’m ok.” He takes a deep breath and repeats, “I’m ok.”

“Yes angel. You’re okay. Thank Lilith.” Magnus hugs him tight to his chest, ignoring the blood getting on his jacket and the awkward positions they are both in. “Let’s stand you up.”

Alec nods and tries to order his legs to work… no response. He sighs, “I don’t think I can.”

Magnus’ eyes widen in alarm, “Are you hurt?”

Alec, still feeling disconnected, answers, “They won’t listen.”

“What do you mean?”

Alec tips his head slightly to the side, “I’m telling them and they won’t listen.”

Magnus huffs out a laugh, “Definitely in shock darling.” He rises to his feet and crouches down to get his hands under Alec’s arms. “Let me help you up.” 

Magnus guides Alec up, Alec’s legs finally get with the program, a little at least, and brace themselves underneath him. When Magnus lets go, Alec stumbles, and Magnus catches him. Alec leans into Magnus’ body, feeling suddenly cold. Magnus notices Alec’ tremble and rubs his hands up and down Alec’s arms.

“Let’s get you inside.”

Alec looks at the stairs, ascending to what seems an unreachable height. His body is coming back online and is being very vocal about Alec’s recent maneuvers. 

Magnus notices Alec’s frown and opens a portal next to them, “Let’s skip the stairs.”

Alec sighs in relief, “Yes. Let’s.”

Magnus helps a heavily limping Alec through the portal into their living room.

The last traces of tension leave Alec’s body as he melts from Magnus’ arms onto the couch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented on my "advice needed" post. It was the most comments I've gotten on a 'chapter' ever. I was amazed at how in depth your thoughts were. I hadn't even considered another option which a few of you mentioned and it inspired me right away so I went with it.  
> It meant a lot to have so many people be vocal of their thoughts about this little story I randomly started and posted on a whim. So THANK YOU for being the fabulous readers you are.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath, fluff and some smut.

Alec looks down at his trembling hands, a shiver runs down his spine. Magnus perches on the coffee table and takes Alec’s hands in his. He rubs soothing circles into the back of Alec’s hands.

Alec winces and tries to adjust his position to lessen the pain in his hip and leg. After a few tries he finds one that lessens the pain, though it doesn’t go away. He can feel bruises blooming at various places on his body.

He starts at Magnus’ hand cradling his cheek. He looks up into the golden eyes he loves so much. He feels a wave of relief crash over him. He’s still here, with Magnus. He didn’t let them take him away. He fought. He struggled. He _won_. Another shiver makes it way through his body, but a small smile teases his lips while he looks into Magnus’ eyes.

“I love you.”

Magnus smiles and caresses Alec’s cheek with his thumb, “I love you too darling. I’m so grateful you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left the wards. But it was Jace, well… it looked like Jace. And he was hurt and said you were hurt-“ Alec’s words are cut off by Magnus’ finger on his lips.

“You couldn’t of known angel. You just kicked some ass, so I’m proud to call you mine.”

Alec flushes, “Magnus…”

They turn towards the entryway at the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs. Jace and Izzy appear.

“He’s dead.” Izzy says bluntly.

“Glamor wore off but I don’t recognize him. Maybe he was one of failsafes Aldertree mentioned?”

Magnus nodded, “Probably and the body?”

Jace gestured over his shoulder, “Dumped in the alley.”

“Didn’t get anything out of him. Alec has good aim.” Izzy winks at her brother.

Alec flushes again, “I wasn’t aiming… It all happened so fast.”

Magnus reaches out to grasp Alec’s shoulder, “It’s alright. It’s done now.”

The shivers and trembling have subsided and fatigue makes itself known alongside the aches and pains in his body. Alec grimaces as he again tries to adjust his position on the couch.

Magnus, concerned, asks, “Are you alright darling?”

Alec’s lips are a thin line. He starts to nod, then says, “Maybe some painkillers?”

Before Magnus can say anything Izzy is headed to the kitchen. Magnus calls after her, letting her know the location. She’s back within a few moments with the medicine and a glass of water. Alec takes them carefully and downs the medicine with a gulp of water. Magnus takes the glass from his hands. Alec pulls himself further back on the couch, and sinks into the backrest with a sigh.

Jace watches with a critical eye, searching for injuries and hurts that Alec has neglected to mention.

Alec notices this and waves a hand at him, “I’m okay Jace.”

Jace smirks at being caught and shrugs, “Sorry, just habit.”

Izzy looks between them, then settles her gaze on Alec, “Do you need anything big brother? What happened?”

The three focus on Alec, wanting to hear the answer.

Alec tells them how he was lured out of the loft and wards, and then how the attacker tried to take him. He shares the attacker’s words of why they were there. The trio immediately narrow their gazes and interrupt Alec.

Jace’s voice is low and violent, “They aren’t getting it.”

Magnus bristles, blue flame dancing around his fingers, “No they aren’t. They need to learn that Alec is off limits… Period.”

Izzy nods, “We need to spread the word of what they’ll find if they try.”

Jace nods, “Yes, they need to know.”

Alec interrupts, “I’m fine guys.”

Magnus’ gaze softens, “Yes, and thank Lilith for that. We just want these attempts to stop darling. No more.”

Jace adds, “They need to learn to leave you alone once and for all. That they’ll have to deal with us if they even think about it.”

Izzy nods along then motions for Alec to finish recounting the story. At the end Jace has a lopsided grin.

“That’s my boy. Kicking ass and taking names.”

Alec huffs a laugh as the others chuckle.

Izzy smiles, her eyes softening, “I’m just glad you’re okay Alec.”

Magnus adds, “All of us are Alexander.”

Alec nods and leans further back into the backrest, his eyes shuttering closed.

“Alec?”

Alec hums in response. He feels hands on his knees.

Magnus’ voices asks, “You’d be more comfortable in bed.”

Alec mumbles, “Don’t want to move.” He opens his eyes and sighs.

Jace and Magnus help Alec to his feet, Izzy leading the way. Once in the bedroom Izzy pulls back the covers, then crouches down to help Alec get his boots off. They get Alec settled and he drifts off to the sound of their voices.

—

Over the next week Alec hears snippets of Magnus, Jace and Izzy spreading the word of what happened to the attacker, and warnings for others. 

Alec finds himself with new self confidence that he had been lacking since the de-runing. He can protect himself. He’s not useless. He can hold his own.

Once the aches and pains of his body fade away he starts thinking of reasons to go out. He’s always chaperoned, which frustrates him to a degree, but he understands. Whether it’s to the market on the corner, or just for a walk, he takes time to stretch his legs and just to get out of the loft. He didn’t need to be confined anymore.

He still gets looks due to his facial scar and his limp, but he’s able to swallow the embarrassment and move on. 

Alec smiles more often, even makes a few jokes earning laughs from his companions, mostly Magnus. 

—

“Mags?” Alec takes a few steps to stand in front of Magnus.

“Yes darling?”

“I-uh- I was thinking - maybe we could look for an archery place? See what they offer? Maybe I could do something?”

Magnus smiles wide, “That is a wonderful idea! My contact mentioned a place not too far from here… I can’t remember the name.”

Alec leans into Magnus, arms encircling Magnus’ waist. Magnus rests his hands on Alec’s chest. Alec leans in to press a kiss to Magnus’ lips. Magnus follows when he pulls back and catches his lips for another kiss, this time deeper and longer. When they break apart Magnus pats Alec’s chest.

“I have something for you.”

Alec quirks his brow.

Magnus extracts himself from Alec’s arms, “One second.”

Magnus leaves the room and returns with a flat, hard box. He holds the black box out for Alec to take. Alec takes it carefully and glances up at Magnus who motions for him to open it.

Alec opens the lid and lifts up the white batting. Nestled on velvet is a thick band of silver, a bracelet cuff. Alec lifts it out of its nest and turns it to see the front. There are blue stones nestled in the metal, evenly spaced. 

He breaths out and whispers, “It’s beautiful.”

Magnus slowly takes the bracelet out of Alec’s hands, and cradles Alec’s left hand in his. He slides the bracelet onto Alec’s wrist. “It isn’t just fashionable…”

Alec smiles and Magnus continues, “It will allow me to always find you. If it senses danger it’ll send a pulse of my magic out, warning that bothering you will be calling down my wrath.” Magnus caresses Alec’s wrist around the bracelet.

“Magnus…” Alec breathes out.

“I know I’m likely being overly protective, maybe slightly possessive, but after you were hurt and the attack… I can’t just sit around and leave you unprotected. I love you Alexander, and if you’ll humor me and wear this, it’ll settle my worried thoughts every time I’m not with you.”

Alec nods and brings his free hand up to wrap around Magnus’. He turns his wrist back and forth, the silver catching the light, the blue stones glimmering, “I love it Mags. Thank you.”

Alec leans forward, catching Magnus by the neck, pulling him closer, and catching his lips against his own. Their lips meet softly and tongues tangle languidly. When they break for breath Alec rests his hand on Magnus’ chest, Magnus brings his up to rest over Alec’s.

“I love you Magnus.”

“And I you angel.”

Alec eases back and runs his fingers over the bracelet. Magnus pulls him in for another kiss, smiling.

The kiss deepens and Alec moves them slowly to the bedroom. Alec climbs up and props himself against the headboard. Magnus ends up straddling Alec’s legs, chests flush against each other. Tongues tangle as hands explore each other’s bodies. Magnus pulls away and moves his attention to Alec’s neck. He pulls delightful whines and moans from the various nips, sucks, and grazing of teeth. Alec’s hands end up at the hem of Magnus and it quickly comes off and is thrown to the side. Magnus rubs his hand up Alec’s exposed forearms and under the sleeves. He nips Alec’s collarbone before returning to kiss Alec deeply.

Alec pulls back and pulls off his own shirt. Resuming the kiss, Alec lets his hands run over Magnus’ smooth skin. His hands pause at the back of Magnus’ neck and he pulls Magnus closer, then down on top of him as he lays flat on his back. 

Magnus follows willingly, his hands bracketing Alec’s shoulders. He breaks the kiss and turns his face to the side, Alec’s mouth traveling over his jaw to his earlobe. 

Alec nips at it and sucks, gaining a moan from his warlock. His hands move to Magnus’ chest, smoothing over the muscles there, ending up at Magnus’ nipples. He thumbs them, causing Magnus’ breath to hitch. He pinches one then the other.

Magnus pulls back and takes Alec’s wrists in hand, the bracelet just below his grip. He moves them above Alec’s head, smirking. He then moves his attentions to Alec’s collarbone, and the meeting of Alec’s neck and shoulder. He bites and sucks, hard, marking his angel. He smiles at the sight of the red spot, then moves down Alec’s chest.

Alec tenses initially but soon relaxes under Magnus’ ministrations. 

Magnus kisses and licks his way across Alec’s chest to a nipple. He tongues it then nips it softly. Alec’s back arches at the attention. Magnus brings his free hand to the other nipple and thumbs it as he continues to tease the other with his tongue and teeth. He releases Alec’s wrists to bring his hand to join in pleasuring Alec.

Alec’s moans are loud and free, not holding back. His hands move to Magnus’ hair, threading his fingers through the strands. He pulls gently, getting a hum of approval in response.

Magnus moves to Alec’s stomach, giving the skin there his attention. His hands run down Alec’s sides to rest at Alec’s hips, squeezing. He palms Alec’s length through his jeans, a dirty moan escaping Alec’s mouth with the movement. 

Alec grabs Magnus’ shoulders and pulls him back up into a passionate kiss, teeth clacking with the initial meeting of lips. Alec’s hands drift down Magnus’ back to tease at the waistband of his jeans. His fingers rub over the skin just under the band.

The kiss breaks and Magnus looks at Alec, questioning him silently. Alec nods and pulls at Magnus’ waistband again. Magnus presses a quick kiss to Alec’s lips before he helps Alec remove his jeans and underwear. Alec’s hand flutter nervously but grab his own waistband and starts to push down. Magnus helps and they are soon both naked.

Magnus smiles softly down at Alec and goes back to hovering over Alec. He lowers his hips and they both gasp at the contact. Magnus grinds his hips down as he pulls Alec back into a kiss. Alec widens his legs, letting Magnus slot between them.

They kiss, grind, and hands roam for awhile, pleasure building. Moans, pants and gasps fill the air.

“Mags.” Alec pants.

“Yes darling?”

“So close.”

“Me too.”

Alec hitches his good leg up around Magnus’ hip and leg. Their pace becomes more fevered. Alec brings his hands to Magnus’ backside and squeezes hard, pulling him closer. Magnus’ hips stutter.

Magnus pants against Alec’s ears, air bursting over the sensitive skin. He nips at the sensitive earlobe and skin right behind. Alec moans and arches his neck. Magnus zeroes in on the exposed skin, laving it with attention as their hips thrust against each other, pre cum making the slide easier.

Magnus gives Alec’s lower neck a hard bite and sucks hard. Alec comes apart beneath him, shooting between their stomachs with a deep moan of Magnus’ name on his lips. Magnus gives a few more hard thrusts and loses himself over the peak of pleasure. He collapses on Alec’s chest, his face in the crook of Alec’s neck.

Alec returns to his body slowly, feeling the welcome weight of his warlock on his chest. He smiles, pleased. He brings a hand to Magnus’ hair, and runs his fingers through it lazily as he waits for Magnus to return to him. 

Magnus props himself up to look at his love, taking in his beautiful face, still lightly flushed. He presses a soft kiss to Alec’s lips. He rolls off Alec and magics away the mess. Alec rolls to Magnus’ side and snuggles in, nuzzling his neck. Magnus wraps an arm around Alec’s shoulders. Alec hums happily.

“Angel?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

“Why?” Alec murmurs.

“For trusting me with your body. I know it’s not easy for you, exposing yourself to others.” Magnus presses a kiss to Alec’s hair.

Alec wraps his arm around Magnus’ chest, “I _trust_ you. I love you.” 

After a period of silence Alec speaks again, “I’m sorry it took so long.”

“Oh darling. Everyone heals at a different pace. I was willing to wait however long you needed. I love you however you come to me, whatever way.”

“Thank you for waiting.”

Magnus hugs Alec closer, feeling Alec’s fingers tracing random designs on his bare chest. “Anything for you Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure I'm please with this. Hope it doesn't completely suck.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't been in a good place mentally so it was hard to write for a bit there. Finally found a few moments over the last few days where I had some energy to write, so here it is.
> 
> Family time, and smut.

Alec pauses at the knock on the door. He checks the cooking food, making sure he can leave it for a moment, then goes to the door. Opening it, he’s immediately victim of Izzy’s tight hug.

“Alec!”

“Hey Izzy.” Alec looks up at his brother and smiles, “Hey Jace.”

Izzy lets go and lets Jace come in to clasp Alec’s hand give him a one armed hug.

“Smells good.” Jace says as he steps past Alec.

“Where’s Magnus?” Izzy asks.

“He’s finishing up with a client. He should be home soon.” Alec motions with his hand towards the kitchen. “I’m just-“

He’s interrupted by Izzy’s squeal.

“What is this?” She grabs his wrist, below the bracelet that’s sparking in the light. She smirks as she looks up at him, “Is it from Magnus?”

“Yes, it was a gift.”

Jace leans in to get a better look, “It’s really nice.”

Izzy make an incredulous sound, “Nice?!? It’s gorgeous. Look at you getting presents.”

Alec flushes and wiggles his arm away from Izzy’s grip. “I need to check on the food.”

Alec makes his way to the kitchen, followed by Izzy and Jace. He resumes cooking, though he has to slap Jace’s hand away.

“Hey!” Jace yelps, cradling his hand.

“It’s not ready yet.”

Jace pouts, “It just smells so good.”

“Why don’t you set the table?”

Izzy nods. Jace joins her in getting out the plates and silverware, then disappear into the dining room. Alec puts the food on the serving plates and adds the finishing touches.

He hears a portal opening, and then Magnus’ voice greeting their guests. He smiles, glad his warlock is home.

Magnus appears in the kitchen, and Alec is hit with how beautiful he is. His low cut top showing off skin and necklaces glittering in the light. His suit jacket hugging his arms and back. The tight pants accentuating his powerful thighs. Magnus turns to walk around the island and Alec appreciates the curve of his ass. The eyeshadow compliments his skin and his eyes, making them shine. Ear cuff catching the light, his hair perfectly styled.

Alec can’t help the grin on his face as Magnus greets him and leans in for a kiss. He forgets the food and grabs Magnus by the neck and deepens the kiss. He can’t help it if his boyfriend is irresistible. 

Magnus pulls back with a laugh and whispers, “Hey darling. Are we in a mood?”

Alec smiles, “Can’t help it. You’re gorgeous.”

Magnus’ smiles spreads into a grin, “You’re not so bad yourself angel.” He turns towards the plates, “Time for dinner?”

Alec nods, and Magnus helps him take everything to the dining room.

Dinner is a laid back affair with conversation flowing easily between the four of them, intermittent laughter filling any pauses. Once desert is throughly enjoyed, Izzy and Jace stay for a drink. Eventually the night comes to a close and Izzy and Jace depart.

As soon as the door closes behind Izzy and Jace, Alec pulls Magnus flush against him and attacks Magnus’ mouth. Magnus lets out a surprised noise, then leans into the kiss, his hands going to Alec’s neck.

When they break apart Magnus smirks, “Not that I’m complaining but what brought this on?”

Alec huffs at the loss of Magnus’ lips, “You, your outfit, did I say you?”

He leans back in to resume the kiss and hugs Magnus closer. 

When they break for breath Alec whispers, “Bedroom.” 

Then he dives back in to kiss Magnus and starts walking backward, pulling Magnus along with him. When they reach the bedroom, Magnus reaches for his jacket, but Alec stops his arms. 

“Let me.” Alec says, reverent. He brings up his hand to Magnus’ shoulders and slowly slides the jacket off the shoulders, down the sculpted arms, caressing as he goes. Once it’s off he tosses it aside and leans in to kiss Magnus slow and deep. He runs his hands down Magnus’ sides, up his stomach and chest, pausing there for a moment. Magnus runs a hand up the back of Alec’s head to grab a fistful of hair and tug lightly. Alec whines in response.

“So responsive.” Magnus says against Alec’s lips. He runs his hands down Alec’s back to the hem of Alec’s shirt. He pulls it up slightly and pauses, looking at Alec. Alec nods and Magnus pulls the shirt up and off, trailing his fingertips against the skin exposed.

Alec takes hold of Magnus’ necklaces and pulls lightly to get Magnus back to his lips. His hands wander to Magnus’ shirt and opens it the rest of the way to remove it. Glorious golden skin is exposed and the sparse of it causes Alec’s mouth to water. With a last kiss to Magnus’ lips, he trails open mouth kisses along Magnus’ jaw to nip at his earlobe. He smiles at the gasp from his warlock. He works his way down Magnus’ neck, pausing to bite and suck a few marks into the golden skin. He brings his fingers to Magnus’ nipples and teases them lightly. Magnus leans his head back with a moan. Alec makes his way down and zeros in on Magnus’ nipple. Licking and soft nips to the sensitive buds. He uses his fingers on the other nipple, pinching and tugging. Alec’s free hand slides down Magnus’ side the to the back, coming to rest in the small of Magnus’ back.

With a growl Magnus grabs the back of Alec’s head and pulls him up to wipe the pout forming off his lips. Lips, tongue and teeth tangle and click with the force of it. Magnus pushes Alec back until the back of his legs are against the bed. Magnus makes Alec sit on the edge of the bed, then climbs into his lap, balancing across his thighs. Alec’s hands move to grip Magnus’ ass, squeezing the globes firmly. Magnus moans against Alec’s mouth, loving having Alec’s hands on him. Their hips rock against each other, seeking friction. Their pants of air blow against each other’s mouths. 

“Mmmm,” Magnus hums in pleasure, leaning his head back. He grinds down hard and gasps, “ _Alexander_.”

Alec’s mouth latches onto golden skin, tongue laving against the pulse point. He nips at one of the marks there, causing Magnus to writhe in his lap. Magnus grabs Alec’s arms and pull them away from his body. Alec makes a pained sound at the loss of contact. Alec’s eyes latch onto Magnus’, need in his blown pupils. 

Magnus slides off Alec’s lap to kneel on the floor between Alec’s legs. He runs his hands over the pale skin in front of him, pausing to give attention to Alec’s nipples. He leans in to take a bud into his mouth. He hears Alec’s breath hitch at the sensation. He mouths and tongues his way further down Alec’s chest to his stomach. He licks into Alec’s navel, earning him a swivel of hips. He gets to the waistband of Alec’s pants. He pulls back to look up at Alec beneath his lashes.

His angel paints a pretty picture. Face flushed, pupils blown with lust. Lips reddened, spit slicked. Magnus watches as Alec’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. Jealous, Magnus reaches and brings Alec’s face down to his level and nips at Alec’s bottom lip. He kisses Alec throughly, wanting to fill every space with himself, his trace.

Magnus pulls away and his fingers make quick work of Alec’s belt. He yanks it off in one smooth pull and tosses it over his shoulder. He opens Alec’s pants and grabs the waistband to pull down. Alec lifts his hips to allow Magnus to pull them off. Magnus pulls them totally off, freeing each leg. Magnus trails his hands back up Alec’s legs, pausing on his inner thighs. Unable to resist, he leans in and nips the tender skin there.

Alec pants, “Mags.”

Magnus hums in response, soothing the nip with his tongue. He turns to look up at Alec, letting his hands trail up to Alec’s hips. He kneads the skin there. He runs his hands to the small of Alec’s back and dips his fingers under the edge of Alec’s boxers. 

His angel watches him, “Mags - stop teasing.”

Magnus smirks, as he works his fingers around to the front of Alec’s boxers, ignoring Alec’s erection trapped there.

Alec squeezes his eyes shut as his hips buck, “Please.”

Magnus melts and brings a hand over the fabric stretching over Alec’s length. He grips it firmly and moves his hand up and down. His skin tingles at the moan that rips itself out of Alec.

Now impatient, Magnus pulls Alec’s boxers down to expose Alec to him. He pulls them down Alec’s strong thighs, his calves and off his feet. Magnus focuses on Alec’s hardness and reaches out for it. Without pausing he takes the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue. He works his way down the shaft until the head hits the back of his throat. He feels hands in his hair, pulling tight. He moans and works himself up and down, twisting his hand on the part he’s unable to take in.

“ _Mags_.” Alec moans.

Magnus pulls off, saliva and precum wetting his lips, connecting to the head of Alec’s cock, “Yes darling?”

“I want you.” Alec pants.

“You have me. But first, let me take the edge off.”

Keeping his eyes locked with Alec he leans back in to take him in his mouth. Alec watches him, his breath hitching. Magnus hollows out his cheeks on a hard suck and watches Alec moan and throw his head back. He moans around Alec and earns a pull on his hair.

“Mags - oh - I’m - Mags.” Alec pants between moans.

Magnus runs his free hand over Alec’s hip to the small of his back then down to his crack. He runs his fingers down, and soon as he touches Alec’s hole Alec spasms violently and spills into Magnus’ throat.

Alec’s moan is loud and low, “ _Magnus_.”

Once Magnus swallows he pulls off and looks back up at Alec who already looks throughly fucked. He guides Alec to lay back on the bed, propped by pillows and the headboard. A sheen of sweat covers Alec’s pale skin as his chest heaves, still coming down from the high.

Magnus stands and removes his pants and boxers. He climbs up the bed to hover over Alec. As Alec’s breath returns to normal Magnus captures his plump lips and delves between them. Alec’s hands grip Magnus’ hips and squeezes, grounding himself. Alec runs one hand to Magnus’ erect cock and grasps it firmly. He pumps it once, twice, then Magnus’ hand stops him. Magnus pulls back to look at his eyes.

“I want you in me Alexander.”

Alec’s breath hitches, “Anything for you.”

Magnus leans in to devour those plump lips. He summons lube and presses the tube into Alec’s hands. Alec grabs the back of Magnus’ head with his free hand and pulls Magnus ever closer, delving deeper with his tongue. Magnus could feel Alec hardening again against him. 

Alec brings his hands behind Magnus to get his fingers lubed. He sets the tube to the side, within reach. With his dry hand he reaches for Magnus’ ass and kneads one globe with his hand. Magnus hums into Alec’s mouth.

Alec runs a dry finger down the crease and circles it softly around Magnus’ hole. Soon a slicked finger takes its place rubbing firmly around the edge before pressing slowly inside. Magnus arches his back, his neck thrown back as he focuses on the sensation. Alec presses kisses to Magnus’ neck and shoulder while he works his finger in and out of Magnus.

When Alec presses in a second finger Magnus leans back to kiss him slowly, rocking ever so slightly into the fingers as they penetrate him. When Alec crooks them just right Magnus’ breath hitches on a gasp.

“Mmmm. Right there angel.”

Alec starts to thrust his fingers fully into Magnus, hitting his prostate every few thrusts.

“More.” Magnus breaths out against Alec’s mouth and Alec obliges.

Three fingers enter and start stretching Magnus even further. Magnus rocks back against Alec’s hand, chasing the fullness. Magnus grinds his hips down against Alec, their lengths rubbing together, he alternates between grinding and pushing himself back on the fingers. Soon Magnus is panting from the stimulation, but in need of _more_.

Magnus picks up the lube and sits up, “I’m ready. I want you.”

Magnus smooches back on Alec’s legs and rubs lube up and down Alec’s cock. Alec’s muscles tighten at the pleasurable sensation. He presses his head back against the pillows, one of his hands reach back over his head and grasps the headboard tightly, a groan on his lips.

Magnus loved seeing his angel like this, open and lost in the lust and passion. Alec’s free hand moves to grip Magnus’ hip tightly. Magnus smiled thinking of the marks Alec was leaving on his skin. He maneuvers himself forward and lifts up to his knees. He reaches behind him and grasps Alec’s hardness in his hand, lining Alec up to his opening. As the head breaches Magnus’ hole, they moan together. Alec’s hand tightens on Magnus’ hip but doesn’t press up or down, it was more to ground himself in this moment, to prevent his hips from thrusting. Magnus watches his angel’s face as he works himself down Alec’s length. Alec’s eyes open, and are filled with awe, love, fondness, more than Magnus can name. Magnus scrunches his fingers against Alec’s chest where they are holding him up, scratching with his nails. At last Magnus sits flush against Alec. He tightens his channel and Alec’s hips jerk. 

Magnus starts circling his hips, relishing the fullness he feels. Between pleasured pants he says, “I’ve missed this.” He closes his eyes and moans when Alec’s cock hits his prostate just right. 

Magnus pushes himself until just the head is still in him, then lowers himself down. He starts a steady pace, letting the tension build between them. He takes in the sight of Alec underneath him, the blissed out expression on his face, one hand grasping his hip, the other on the headboard. Magnus takes in the white knuckles from Alec’s grip. Magnus slows the pace to lean forward and capture Alec’s lips in another kiss.

“ _Magnus_.” Alec moans.

Magnus smiles against Alec’s lips, “Move darling.”

Alec moves his hand from the headboard to Magnus’ other hip. Alec’s thrusts up when Magnus lowers himself. The force forces his breath out. The pace quickens, intensifies.

Moans of each other’s name fill the air, with pants and whines intermingled.

“ _Mags_ \- So - close.”

Magnus hums, “Me too.”

Alec moves a hand to Magnus’ cock and starts to pump his hand up and down, just how Magnus likes it. Magnus shifts and then Alec’s thrusts start hitting his prostate head on. 

Magnus topples over the edge first, his vision whites as the pleasure roars through him. Alec follows as Magnus tightens around him, a final firm thrust burying him to the hilt in Magnus. 

They come back to each other panting, Magnus’ cum rubbing between their bodies. Alec’s hands squeeze Magnus’ hips.

“That - was - amazing.” Alec says between heaving breaths.

Magnus smiles up at Alec, “Mind - blowing.” He laughs breathlessly and Alec joins him.

Once their breaths slow, Magnus pulls off Alec, wincing slightly as Alec leaves him. He collapses at Alec’s side, Alec’s arm around his shoulders and magics away the mess.

Alec turns his head to look at Magnus and gazes at the gold irises that he adores, “I love you Magnus Bane.”

A large smile spreads across Magnus’ face, “And I you Alexander Lightwood.”

They fall asleep cuddled together, in each other’s arms.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter for you. Had this part already written.
> 
> Archery, and fluff, and cuteness. And I love Alec.

“Alexander, are you ready to go?” Magnus turns to face the hallway.

Alec voice calls back to him, “Coming, just a second!”

Alec appears, case in hand. Excitement glitters in his eyes, making Magnus melt, smiling softly. Alec smiles at Magnus’ expression and leans in for a kiss. Magnus deepens it for a moment before remembering they had plans. He pulls back with a pout.

“The things I want to do to you darling.” He murmurs.

Alec flushes, “Uh - Maybe later?”

Magnus laughs, “Later. Yes, later.”

He grabs Alec’s free hand, “Shall we?”

Alec nods, biting on his lower lip. Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand, “No need to be nervous.”

Alec rolls his eyes, “We haven’t even met the owner yet. What if-“

Magnus cuts Alec off with a chaste kiss, “No what ifs. It’ll go swimmingly.” He turns and creates a portal, “Ready?”

“Yes.”

With that Magnus leads Alec through the portal.

They exit in an alleyway in another part of Brooklyn. Alec adjusts his grip on the case. They exit the alleyway and merge onto the sidewalk, finding a place in the people passing. They walk a few blocks, for which Alec is thankful, wanting to get out some nervous energy. He grips Magnus’ hand tightly. Magnus just looks up at him and smiles.

They find the archery store and range and enter. Alec pauses inside the entrance to take a calming breath. Magnus squeezes his hand.

“Ready?” Magnus asks.

Alec nods. They make their way over to the counter and find an older gentleman.

Magnus smiles, “Gary?”

The man nods and smiles. Shaking hands, Gary asks, “Magnus?”

Magnus nods, “Yes, and this is Alec who I was telling you about.”

Alec wipes his palm on his pants before reaching out to shake Gary’s hand, “Nice to meet you sir.”

Gary laughs and waves him away, “No need for sir. Just Gary is fine.”

Alec nods nervously, “Okay Gary.”

“I’ve heard you’re pretty good with a bow. How about we see what you’ve got on the range?”

Alec nods, words stuck in his throat. Magnus grabs Alec’s again and motions to Gary, “After you.”

Gary leads them back to the range, talking about starting the business and his background. Eventually he adds, “If this works out, I was thinking maybe you could come by two or three times a week and maybe work with kids or people just starting out? From there we might get you working people more advanced, but from what Magnus said, you’re pretty good with kids?”

Alec smiles and nods, “I enjoy working with kids. But anything you need I’d be happy to help with. I just miss having time with my bow.”

Gary stops in the range and motions Alec to the table right behind them, “I you want to get your bow out. Let’s test it out with our equipment. And I totally understand about missing the experience. It’s definitely something else.”

Alec sets his case on the table, opens it and withdraws his bow. He turns at the sharp intake of breath behind him.

Gary’s mouth is hanging open, but he promptly shuts it, coughing to clear his throat. “That’s beauty.”

Alec smiles, hefting the bow, “Magnus got it for me. Of course he went overboard, but she is gorgeous.”

Gary takes a step closer and reaches out a hand, “Can I?” He motions towards the bow.

Alec nods and lets Gary take it reverently from his hands. Gary trails his fingers over the various parts and hefts it in his hands.

Gary returns the bow to Alec, “Sure is beautiful.” He gives one last lingering look at the bow then turns, clapping his hands, “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Gary hands some arrows to Alec and steps back, “You can start with the closer targets if you’d like-“

He cuts off when Alec starts shooting arrow after arrow at the furthest targets. Arrows crowding each other in the bullseye of each target. When he’s exhausted the 12 arrows given he turns to Gary looking expectantly.

Gary gapes like a goldfish, “Well- uh - that was great!”

Magnus smiles, smug, “I told you.”

Gary waves his hand in the air, “I know you did, but I didn’t think- Wow.”

Alec rubs the back of his neck, nervous, “I can -uh - aim for other parts of the targets if you need. Or do you need me to do something else?”

Gary laughs, “I think I’m good but show me what other tricks you have up your sleeve.” He hands Alec another handful of arrows.

Alec draws and shoots each arrow, trailing around the outer edge of the farthest target, spacing each arrow out evenly. When he’s done he turns back around waiting for Gary’s judgement.

Gary just grins, “Great! I mean - how long have you been doing this? Usually it takes years and years to get this level of skill. And they still sometimes can’t reach that level of precision.”

Alec flushes beneath the praise, “I’ve been - uh - doing this for what feels like all my life.”

Gary nods, glancing at the target again, then turns to Alec, “I’ve seen enough. How would you feel about teaching a beginning class for some kids?”

Alec nods enthusiastically, “That sounds great.”

“I think the next one starts in two weeks. One is Wednesday evenings and then one session on Saturdays. Would one of those work well?”

Alec clears his throat, “I could do both if you need. I’m not currently doing anything at those times.”

Gary’s smile widens, “Perfect. Let’s head back to the front.”

Alec packs up his bow and follows Gary along with Magnus. 

Magnus leans in, smilingly, “Well done love.”

Alec glances at him and smiles shyly.

When the get back out front they iron out the details and pay. Alec just nods and accepts whatever Gary offers. He isn’t need of money, he just wants to have archery back. And to work with kids who are just learning and becoming interested? That would be icing on the cake.

Gary invites Alec to return and see a tournament the following weekend. Once he learns Alec has never seen or participated in one, he insists Alec stop by, even if he refuses to participate. It’d be good to see what it’s like.

They all say goodbye and Alec and Magnus exit the store.

“That went fabulously angel.”

Alec smiles, “Yes it went really well.”

“What do you think about working with kids Alexander?”

“I’m - excited I guess the word is. Seeing them learning and just getting interested. It’ll be nice. I hope they’ll like me.”

Magnus laughs, “They’ll love you darling. I have no doubts.”

Alec flushes and shrugs his shoulders. Magnus was biased.

Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand, “Shall we go home?”

Alec nods, “Home.”

—

“Izzy I need your help.” 

Izzy pauses with the ice cream half way to her mouth. She puts it back down, “Is everything okay?”

Alec nods, “It’s just… Magnus and I… our anniversary is coming up… And I need help.”

Izzy squeals, “Of course! Do you need help picking out a gift? We should brainstorm. What kind of item are you thinking? Has Magnus dropped any hints about what he’d like?”

Alec jumps in to stop her torrent of questions, “I think… maybe a nice ring?”

Izzy eyes widen, “A _ring_?”

Alec realizes what she’s assuming, “No. Not like _that_. Just a ring he can wear if he wants.”

Izzy settles, “Oh ok. That sounds like something he’d like. Do you already have a design in mind?”

“Not really, that’s why I need your help. To pick something he’d like.”

Izzy nods, “I can definitely help you with that. When do you want to go?”

“Maybe once we finish our ice cream? Just to look around?”

“Good idea, get a feel for options and if anything sparks your interest.” Izzy smiles, “Let’s do it big brother!”

Alec smiles fondly at her.

—

Alec’s eyes are wild, he runs his hands through his hair and down to the back of his neck, “There’re too many choices Iz.”

Izzy places a hand on her brother’s arm, “There are, but we can narrow down what we are looking for. What kind of ring were you thinking? What color? Just a band, or with a stone?”

Alec focuses on Izzy to calm his nerves, “Uh… Silver? Or maybe black?”

“Okay. Do you want it to sparkle? Are we talking diamonds, or more color?”

Alec shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“I’m thinking we definitely want something with some pizzazz. I mean, this is Magnus we’re talking about.”

Alec nods, “It should be unique.”

Izzy motions a salesperson over and explains what they’re looking for. Within a few minutes the salesperson has gathered a few different rings to view.

Izzy looks at Alec, “Now we are just narrowing down what you want, so it doesn’t have to be one of these. Just let us know what you like or don’t like about each one, ok?”

“Okay.”

Alec nixes the few that have large stones, or the ring is very small. He likes the bands the best, nothing sticking out. The salesperson takes away the rejected rings and returns with further options. The salesperson begins telling them about each ring.

Alec tunes them out as he focuses on a wide band made up of small alternating bands of black and silver with small diamonds tracing along each one. He reaches out and gingerly picks it up to look at it more closely. He turns to Izzy and holds it up for her inspection.

She smiles and nods, “That one is amazing Alec. What do you think?”

Alec looks at the ring again, “This one is perfect.”

The salesperson smiles and talks with them about the ring, then inquires about sizing. Izzy turns to Alec with a brow raised.

Alec flushes and pulls one of Magnus’ rings out of him pocket, “I kinda… borrowed one.”

Izzy grins and smacks his arm, “Good thinking big brother!”

After finalizing the sale and setting up a day and time to retrieve the ring, Alec and Izzy exit the store.

Izzy links her arm in Alec’s, “Well, hermano, I think you chose well. Magnus will love it.”

Alec smiles, “I hope so.”

Izzy smiles up at him, “I know so. Don’t worry about it. Do you have anything else planned for your anniversary?”

Alec shook his head, “We haven’t really talked about it yet. I’m sure Magnus has something planned, just hasn’t told me yet.”

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely whatever you end up doing. You two are good together. Meant to be, a fairytale. All that.”

Alec rolls his eyes, “Okay Izzy.”

“Ok, but seriously, you fit together. I’m glad you found each other.”

Alec smiles, “I am too.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff for GoldenDaydreams after I ruined it all with another piece I wrote.

“Mags?” Alec asks as he opens the office door.

Magnus turns in his seat behind the desk, “Yes darling?”

“I was thinking…” Alec moves to Magnus’ side. “Maybe for Friday-“

“Hmm?” Magnus hums, inviting Alec to continue.

Alec flushes, “For our anniversary. Maybe we could-” He clears his throat, glancing away for a moment, then gathers himself and looks back at Magnus, “Maybe I could make us dinner and we eat here?”

Magnus smiles up at Alec, placing his hands on Alec’s hips, “Dinner sounds wonderful. I’ll set up the ambiance while you cook. Deal?” He winks.

“Yes. Then Saturday we could maybe - go to - Pandemonium?”

Magnus pauses, tilts his head slightly, “Are you sure? We don’t have to go.”

Alec shakes his head, “No, I think it - it could be fun. Maybe invite everyone to meet us there? We wouldn’t have to stay for long or even go if you don’t want to.”

Magnus, still hesitant, questions further, “Only if you’re sure. We haven’t gone there lately…”

Alec knows Magnus is trying not to point out his discomfort with crowds, and flushes further. Alec attempts a small smile, “I think - I think it’d be nice. Just - maybe not in the middle of the dance floor?”

Magnus smiles, “Of course darling. That sounds wonderful. But we don’t have to so if at any point you change your mind we can skip it ok? I’m just fine with a night for just the two of us.” He stands to press a kiss to Alec’s lips, “You know I’m selfish like that.”

Alec huffs a laugh, “Yes, I know. You don’t like to share.”

Magnus smirks, “That’s right darling. I like having all this-“ Magnus moves his hands to the small of Alec’s back and pulls Alec’s body flush to his own, “to myself.”

“You really don’t have to worry Mags. I’m not going anywhere.” Alec murmurs into the small space between them.

Magnus sneaks another kiss, “Neither am I.”

—

Friday morning Alec wakes to an empty bed. He rolls to his back and reaches his arm out. Magnus’ space is slightly warm, so he hasn’t been up long. Alec sighs while he rubs his eyes. He sits up and yawns. Coffee, he needs coffee. He stands and absently scratches his stomach. He takes a step forward and freezes when he scrunches something smooth and soft under his foot. He opens his eyes and removes his foot. Rose petals? His eyes follow the petals leading out the door. 

Alec’s heart flutters in his chest. He carefully follows the petals out into the hallway and to the kitchen. The petals lead to the counter where a mug of coffee is waiting, steam still rising. He smiles and takes it into his hands, soaking up the warmth. He takes a sip and hums at the perfection. Magnus knows him well.

He turns and follows the petals as they lead to the living room, to the far wall. He’s too focused on the petals on the floor to notice but when he comes to the pile indicating a stop he looks up and gasps, eyes going wide. The entire large back wall of the living room is covered in a rainbow of post-its. His eyes flit from one to another. Not recognizing the languages they are written in. Wait, they are different languages. He sips at his coffee as he searches the post its for a language he understands. He wants to know what it says. After looking haphazardly he decides to do it methodically. He starts at the top left and works his way from there. 

Alec doesn’t know how long it takes him, but he finds the one in English. In beautiful script are the words _I love you_. Alec pulls the light blue post-it from the wall and cradles it in his hand, smiling. He presses it to his heart gently for a moment, soaking up this feeling. Love, butterfly wings, lightness, warmth.

He steps to the side and remembers the petals as he steps on one. He presses the post-it to the coffee mug and follows the path to the dining room table. His heart surges at the sight of dozens of roses covering the table top. A grin spreads across his face as he leans in to smell one and notices the multi-colored vases the roses rest in.

He senses Magnus’ presence but doesn’t turn from the sight before him. Magnus comes up behind Alec and wraps his arms around Alec’s waist.

“Magnus, I-“ Alec finds himself at a loss for words. All he can thinks to say is, “I love you.”

He feels Magnus smile against his neck before beginning to pepper kisses there, “I love you too darling.”

Alec sets his coffee mug down, laying the post-it note carefully to the side. He turns in Magnus’ arms, wrapping his own around Magnus’ shoulders.

“Thank you.” Alec says, looking lovingly into Magnus’ golden eyes. “No one has ever done anything close to this magnitude for me.”

Magnus pulls Alec closer, tightening his arms, “You deserve every bit of it and more.”

Alec’s smile falls slightly, “I didn’t do anything for you.” He moves to withdraw himself from Magnus’ arms.

Magnus hugs Alec tighter, “I honestly did this just for you. I don’t need anything darling.”

Alec looks down and away, “I’m not good at this stuff.”

Magnus brings a hand to Alec’s chin and lifts it with his fingers, “Angel, you do things every day to show me you care. I’m just… what’s the word… extravagant? I think you said that once. And… Dramatic?”

Alec chuckles, tension leaving him, “Yes. You are both of those things.”

—

After breakfast they end up back in bed, dozing. Magnus is spooning Alec, his hand resting on Alec’s chest. Alec has one arm covering Magnus’, his hand resting over Magnus’. 

“Mags?”

Magnus hums in response, half asleep.

“How about a bath?”

Alec feels Magnus’ smile against his neck, followed by a kiss.

“That sounds lovely darling.”

Alec twists in Magnus’ arms and presses a kiss to his lips, “I’ll get it ready. Don’t move.”

Magnus squeezes Alec tight, not letting him leave. He kisses Alec languidly, drawing it out. Alec melts into Magnus’ arms, his mind abandoning all thoughts other then the feeling of Magnus kissing him. His hand smoothes up Magnus’ side, then rests on his chest. He feels Magnus’ hands run up and down his spine, over his shoulders, up his neck, fingers twining through his hair. Magnus gives a few soft pulls, causing Alec to hum into the kiss with pleasure. 

They break for air and just breathe each other’s air. 

Magnus’ hand musses Alec’s hair, “I love you darling.”

Alec closes his eyes and leans into Magnus’ hand, “ I love you too.”

Alec moves closer, his head resting on Magnus’ arm, his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck. He breathes in the intoxicating scent of his warlock, sandalwood, burnt sugar of his magic, and then something spicy, unique to Magnus. Their chests are flush together, their legs tangled. Alec forgets why he wanted to move in the first place. It’s perfect right here. Alec closes his eyes and just drifts in a pleasant haze, all his senses filled with Magnus.

He doesn’t know how much time passes before Magnus take a deep breath and exhales against his skin.

“Angel?”

Alec pulls back to look at Magnus, “Yes?”

“The bath is ready.”

Alec blinks before he remembers, “Oh… I was going to do that.”

Magnus smiles, “I took care of it. Shall we?”

Alec nods, pressing a kiss to Magnus’ lips.

They untangle themselves from each other, though Magnus maintains contact by taking Alec’s hand in his own. They climb from the bed and Magnus leads Alec into the bathroom. Alec smiles at the smattering of bubbles floating on the water.

They divest themselves of their boxers and climb in. Magnus first, then Alec who settles in the V of Magnus’ legs, leaning back against Magnus’ chest.

Magnus rests his elbows on the edges of the tub and runs his fingertips over Alec’s bare shoulders, then under the water, following his arms. He then traces back up and cups water to pour over Alec’s shoulders. Alec runs his hands up Magnus’ thighs to his bent knees. 

They are quiet in this peaceful space, completely relaxed. 

Magnus runs a wet hand through Alec’s hair, presses a kiss to Alec’s cheek. Alec turns his head to meet Magnus in another kiss. 

Magnus coaxes Alec to sit up, and goes about wetting his hair. He gets some shampoo and carefully works it through Alec’s hair, massaging Alec’s scalp as he goes, sometimes trailing his nails softly. 

Alec goes boneless, leaning his head back to give Magnus better access.

Magnus cradles the back of Alec’s head and guides him to lean further back. Then Magnus slowly rinses his hair. When Magnus is done Alec turns to face him, sitting back on his heels. 

Alec raises his hands to Magnus’ faces and slowly traces each feature with his fingertips. Magnus’ hairline, his eyebrows, the bottom row of lashes of each eye, then the laugh lines from the corner of each eye. Magnus’ cheekbones, his nose, his lips. Alec takes his time there, even leaning in to nip at the bottom lip before pressing a soft kiss to Magnus’ lips. He leans back and finishes his exploration with following the curve of Magnus’ jaw, and down his neck, finishing at Magnus’ collarbone. 

Alec brings his hands to Magnus’ hair, and guides Magnus closer so he can lean back and wet Magnus’ hair. Alec takes his time, making sure it’s throughly wet, before getting the shampoo ready. He smiles at the scent of sandalwood and reaches up to massage it into Magnus’ hair. He relishes the slide of the varying lengths of hair under and through his fingers. He guides the hair up and back, away from Magnus’ face. He tugs lightly and Magnus’ flutter close on a hum. 

Alec if filled with the sudden urge to worship every part of Magnus. As he works his hands through the last part of Magnus’ hair, he leans forward and starts to pepper soft, lingering kisses all over Magnus’ face. By the time he pulls back form Magnus’ lips, golden cat eyes are looking at him.

“Hi.” Alec whispers.

Smiling, Magnus replies, “Hi.”

Magnus moves his hands under the water to grasp Alec’s hips, trail his fingertips up Alec’s sides, to shoulders, to upper arms, where he stops to hold on. Alec guides him to tip his head back as Alec rinses his hair.

When Alec’s done, Magnus moves back until his back is flush against the tub again. He takes Alec’s hands and guides Alec back to sitting between his legs, leaning against him.

They stay in that intimate atmosphere until their skin starts pruning. They laugh softly at their pruned fingers.

Magnus drains the tub, then guides them to the shower where they take turns soaping their bodies and washing off, kissing frequently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr (Gigi--87) and/or Twitter (GioM_87) if you want. I'm not super active on them. But if you want to talk or send me a prompt or even a song to see what happens if my muse likes it, feel free. I'll feel a bit more connected to the world. :)
> 
> Next chapter... fluff, smut, maybe Pandemonium.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff, fluff and smut

Magnus bans Alec from everywhere except the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, and of course the hallway between. Alec just smiles and acquiesces. He knows how Magnus likes to have things perfect before showing them to others. He’ll give Magnus this. 

While the food is simmering Alec finds himself looking at his clothes. He bites his lip, his arms crossed. He wants to look nice, it is their anniversary. There is so much more color nowadays, too much to pick from. How is he supposed to choose? He doesn’t know what looks good, what doesn’t, what about matching? How’s he supposed to do that? He shifts his weight from one side to another while he inwardly agonizes what to do. He usually just goes for comfort. 

Alec runs his hands over the various tops and pauses over a green sweater. He remembers Izzy saying it was a good color, went well with his eyes, or something. He pulls the top out, then decides on black jeans. He gets dressed and then tries to tame his hair somewhat. Giving up quickly, he decides it’s as good as it’s going to get.

Alec returns to the kitchen, checking on the food. Satisfied he puts the various dishes on serving plates. Once the dessert is plated he slowly spreads the frosting over it. Just as he’s finishing Magnus walks in.

Magnus walks up to Alec and embraces him from behind, arms around his waist. He presses a kiss to the back of Alec’s neck.

“Ready darling?”

Alec nods and motions to the plates, “Help me carry everything?”

Magnus waves his hand, blue magic flaring, “Taken care of.”

Alec huffs and turns in Magnus’ arms, “That was unnecessary.”

Magnus smiles and runs his hand up Alec’s back, “You need your hands free.”

Alec quirks his brow, “Really? And why’s that?”

Magnus smirks, “Come with me angel.”

Magnus takes Alec’s hand and guides him to the living room. They pass the dining room which confuses Alec. Then Magnus is at the stairs to the rooftop terrace. Magnus leads the up, holding Alec’s hand firmly. Magnus pauses at the door waiting for Alec, then opens it wide. He pulls Alec out of the doorway where he watches Alec’s reaction.

Alec stands there speechless. There is a table there with two chairs, the food already arrayed on the table top. The garden archway is weaved with rose, perfectly boomed. Lantern lights are strung up all around the rooftop, providing a soft light illuminating the terrace.

“It’s beautiful Mags.” Alec whispers, unwilling to break the quiet beauty laid before him.

Magnus leans forward to kiss Alec, “Just for you love.”

Alec smiles and looks at Magnus, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s eat.”

Magnus guides Alec to the table and pulls Alec’s chair out for him. Alec gets situated and then Magnus takes the seat to Alec’s left. 

“This looks amazing darling. Thank you for cooking.” Magnus squeezes one of Alec’s hands.

Alec flushes, “Just for you Mags.”

Magnus beams and leans in for a kiss, “I love you Alexander. Happy anniversary.”

“Love you too. Happy anniversary.”

They eat dinner trading little stories and tidbits, pausing frequently to kiss each other, wipe away food or sauce, just any reason to touch each other. Alec even indulges Magnus and drinks some wine.

For dessert they each gat a plate but end up feeding each other before long.

—

“Alexander.” Magnus interrupts Alec’s story.

Alec meets Magnus’ eyes which are soft and full of love. He smiles fondly back, “Yes?”

Magnus sets down his wine glass, then envelops Alec’s left hand in both of his. “I’ve loved a few times in my life, but nothing compares to what I feel for you.”

“Mags-“ Alec’s words are cut off by Magnus’ finger at his lips.

“I had closed myself off from feeling anything towards others for a long time. Then I met you and all my walls disappeared, allowing you in instantly. As we got to know each other I allowed you to tread even further into my heart. Now you are in the deepest part, and you’re it for me Alexander.”

Magnus brings Alec’s hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to Alec’s palm. Alec watches, entranced by Magnus’ words and movements.

“I want to love you every day that we have together, and I’ll love you even after.”

Unable to stay silent, Alec leans forward, “I love you Magnus.” He presses a kiss to Magnus’ lips. He leans back slightly, intertwining his fingers with Magnus’.

Magnus smiles, “It feels like a dream sometimes, that I get to love you and have you here with me. To see you grow and the strength you contain… I love every part of you, and with everything that has happened, it’s just shown me the strength of your character, of your love. I cherish your love and wish to have it always.”

Magnus slides off his seat and kneels on one knee in front of Alec. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. He takes a deep breath as he opens it and holds it up for Alec to see.

Alec’s heart stutters in his chest. A ring.

Magnus smiles hesitantly up at Alec, “Will you Alexander Lightwood marry me?”

Alec’s eyelashes flutter as he blinks back tears. He tries to clear his throat, the words catching on something. He glances from the ring to Magnus’ face, “Are you - are you sure?”

Magnus frowns, “Of course I am darling.”

“I - I don’t want you - stuck with me. What if you get tired of me? I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

One of Magnus’ hands reach up to grasp Alec’s neck and pulls him forward so their foreheads rest together. “Angel, I’ll want you every second of my existence. I have no doubts.”

Alec smiles at the words, “Then yes Magnus. _Yes_.” 

Magnus’ smile grows on his face, he carefully takes the ring out of the box. He pauses with it hovering over Alec’s ring finger. He looks at Alec to check one last time. At Alec’s nod Magnus slides the ring on.

It’s a silver band with small diamonds in the center wrapping around. Alec twists his hand and watches it glitter as it catches in the light. 

“Do you like it? We can always get another-“

Alec cuts off Magnus’ worried words, “I love it.”

He leans in and grasps the sides of Magnus’ face, “I love _you._ ”

He presses a few kisses to Magnus’ lips before changing angles and parting Magnus’ lips with his tongue. Delving into his mouth, tongues tangling.

After a number of languid kisses they pull apart. Magnus’ hand finds Alec’s and his fingers rub over Alec’s ring.

“Are you happy?” Magnus whispers.

Alec laughs, “Here with you I’m happy, always.” He sniffs, and rubs his cheeks, clearing away a few escaped tears. “Now get up, your knees aren’t going to be happy if you stay like that much longer.” Alec pulls on Magnus’ hand to help him up.

Magnus laughs, “I’m not _that_ old.” He leans in to press another kiss against Alec’s lips. He returns to his seat at Alec’s side.

Alec takes a deep breath, “My turn.” He reaches into his own pocket and pulls out a small box. “Happy anniversary.”

Magnus looks from the box to Alec, his eyes widened by the box, a ring box. He slowly opens it, exposing the band Alec had picked out.

Alec murmurs, “Seems like we were thinking along the same lines.”

“Oh darling.” Magnus says on a breath. He picks the ring up from the box and looks at it. He notices something written inside. _Forever yours - AL_. 

Magnus smiles, tears glistening in his eyes, “I love it.” He leans in to kiss Alec again.

When they separate Alec takes the ring from Magnus and grasps Magnus’ hand in his, “May I?”

Magnus nods, and Alec slides the ring on. Magnus looks again at Alec, and his skin shimmers in the candlelight, “I love _you_ Alexander. I’m at my happiest when I’m with you, and I hope to make you happy every day we have together.”

Alec smiles, “You make me happy.”

Magnus smirks, “Then we’re off to a good start?”

Alec nods as he moves from his chair to sit on Magnus’ lap. He hugs Magnus tight and nuzzles into the warlock’s neck.

—

Pieces of clothing lead from the bottom of the rooftop stairs to the bedroom. Alec and Magnus are on the bed, naked, rubbing against each other while Alec tries desperately to pull Magnus even closer.

Fire is consuming him from the inside out.

“Mags.” He gasps against Magnus lips. He dives back in, tongue tangling with Magnus’.

Alec pulls back to breath and leans his head back, baring his neck. Magnus peppers it with kisses, nipping marks into the skin. Moans escape Alec as the fire burns hotter.

“Mags.” He moans again.

Magnus pulls back from his ministrations, “Yes darling?”

“Want you.” Alec pants.

“You have me darling.”

“No I _want_ you.”

“Use your words Alexander.”

“I want you in me.”

Magnus’ hips twitch at the thought. He hums at their erections rubbing together.

“Are you sure angel?”

“Yes.” Alec insists, trying to get even closer to Magnus’ body. A sense of desperation in his bones, losing himself to the insistent desire spreading along his skin.

Magnus pauses to kiss Alec throughly, running and hand through Alec’s hair and tugging firmly. Alec arches his back, keening. Magnus works his way back down Alec’s neck to his chest, to his nipples. Alec’s hands a gripping Magnus’ biceps, his nails biting at the golden skin.

As Magnus laves at and nips each nipple, he hardens impossibly with each filthy noise from Alec. He can tell Alec’s on edge, desperate. He trails his fingers down Alec’s side to his hip, to where his ass meets his thigh. Magnus hikes Alec’s leg up slightly and grinds down harder, the new angle providing sensations in new places. Alec’s hands tighten on Magnus’ arms, then move to Magnus’ shoulders.

“Magnus _please_.” Alec pleads breathlessly.

Only able to tease his angel so much, Magnus moves downwards, nipping at Alec’s abs, laving at his navel. He gets to the v of Alec’s thighs and traces them with his tongue, then sucks a mark in each. Alec’s hands are now in Magnus’ hair, grip just this side of painful.

Brokenly, Alec pleads, “ _Please_.”

Magnus licks a stripe up the underside of Alec’s cock and Alec jerks from the stimulation. Magnus moves his hand from Alec’s thigh down to knead at Alec’s ass. He kneels slightly so he can use his other hand to jack Alec firmly. He mouths at the head, tracing the edge with his tongue.

“Magnus!” Alec gasps, his nails down biting deep into Magnus’ skin. “I’m gonna-“ A moan interrupts his words.

Magnus takes Alec into his mouth and sucks hard and he lowers down until Alec is hitting the back of his throat. He swallows around the head and hums. Alec comes fast and hard, his abs and thighs contracting fiercely as his orgasm hits. Magnus sucks him through it, reluctant to pull off but does when Alec weakly pushes at his shoulders. He climbs back up Alec’s body, taking in his heaving chest, his flushed face, neck and chest.  

Magnus captures Alec’s lips and kisses him, though Alec is still trying to catch his breath and doesn’t have the control of his lips to kiss back yet. He tries valiantly.

Magnus summons lube to his side. Once Alec’s breaths even out slightly Magnus leans back and caresses the side of Alec’s face.

“How do you feel darling?”

Alec smiles up at him, “Amazing Mags.”

Magnus leans forward to whisper in Alec’s ear, “Want more?”

Alec shivers and on a desperate moan, “Yes.”

Magnus reaches down and helps Alec bend his legs up and slightly out. He grabs the lube and wets a finger. He nips at Alec’s bottom lips then attacks his mouth. His wet finger searches out Alec’s hole and circles it lightly, then with more pressure. Alec moans into the kiss, his hands again grasping Magnus’ biceps.

Magnus presses in with one finger, slowly breaching Alec. He takes his time before adding a second finger. He can feel Alec hardening again against him. By the time he presses three in Alec is panting against Magnus’ lips, biting his bottom lip hard. Alec writhes on Magnus’ fingers as they rub against his prostate.

“Magnus, I’m ready. Please.” Alec babbles.

“I’ve got you darling.”

Magnus lubes up his length, then lifts Alec’s leg to the crook of his elbow. He lines up and presses his head to Alec’s rim. Alec arches his back as Magnus penetrates him. Moaning loud and long until Magnus is flush against his ass.

“ _Magnus_.” Alec moans.

Magnus gives Alec a few moments to adjust before slowly drawing out then pressing back in. He slowly builds up the pace, egged on by the noises Alec is making. 

At some point Alec starts begging, “Mags - harder - fuck - Mags - _harder_.”

Magnus acquiesces and thrusts in hard over and over again. The sound of skin meeting skin echoing in the room. Alec loses his coordination and just holds on rather than trying to met Magnus’ thrusts. Alec grapples at the skin on Magnus’ back, from his spine outwards, leaving red raised skin behind from his nails.

“Mags.” Alec gasps, “I’m so - close.”

Magnus brings a hand to Alec’s cock and begins to pump it. Alec arches his back as he moans again before everything in his body contracts while his orgasm is ripped from him. Magnus thrusts a few more times into Alec’s heat before the tightened channel throws him over the edge. He thrusts through both of their orgasms until he collapses on Alec’s chest. Their chests heave against each other as they try to catch their breaths.

Magnus pulls out carefully and rests at Alec’s side. He magics away the mess before rolling to his side to look at Alec.He watches as Alec shivers through an aftershock.

Alec hums in pleasure, “Wow.”

Magnus laughs and caresses Alec’s cheek. Alec nuzzles into it.

They fall asleep in each other’s arms, legs tangled.


	36. Chapter 36

Magnus takes Alec’s left hand in his right, noting the cool metal of Alec’s ring against his fingers. He looks back at his love and smiles softly. Alec smiles back, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Magnus leads the way to the VIP section where they’ll be meeting the rest of the group. He is mindful of edging the dance floor rather than cutting through, wanting to avoid overwhelming Alec on his first trip back here.

They climb the stairs to the VIP section and find Clary and Simon there. Alec’s eyes flit back to the main floor to search for Jace and Izzy while they all say hi.

Clary sees him looking, “Jace and Izzy are on their way. Had to deal with something first.”

Magnus chooses a seat across of Clary and Simon, pulling lightly on Alec’s hand so Alec takes a seat at his side.

Simon leans forward, “Happy anniversary guys!”

Clary beams at them, “ Yes! Happy anniversary! Did you guys have a good night? Nice and romantic?”

Alec blushes but nods, “Yes it was really nice.”

Magnus smiles at Alec and squeezes his hand, “It was splendid.”

Magnus signals the waiter and they order drinks.

Izzy and Jace arrive shortly afterward. 

Izzy leans down to hug Alec who lets go of Magnus’ hand to hug her back. 

“How was it big brother? Did Magnus sweep you off your feet?” She teases as she pulls back. They both laugh as she shuffles over to give Magnus a kiss on the cheek.

“Sweet Izzy, you know I would do nothing less for Alexander.”

Izzy looks at Alec who is giving a quick hug to Jace. She catches the glint of something on Alec’s hand and gasps. She flails for a moment, grabbing at Alec’s arm, yanking his hand over to her. She screeches once she has it in front of her. She bounces up and down a few times, not letting go of Alec’s hand.

“Alec! You’re engaged? Magnus proposed? How was it? What’d he say? You said yes? I’m so happy!” She launches herself at Alec and ends up sitting on his lap, his hand still in her grasp as she spews questions at him. Alec smiles wide at her, then glances at Magnus who is smiling fondly at him.

Jace claps Alec on the shoulder, “Congrats Alec.”

Izzy grabs at Magnus’ hands and sees the ring she helped Alec pick out on his ring finger. She coos at them both. She finally relents when drinks arrive with a “You have to tell me everything later big brother!” Then she moves to take a seat by Simon.

After a few more congratulations and insistence that they get the full story later, they get started with their drinks. Alec finds himself relaxing as he gets used to the thrumming of the bass, the pumping of the music. The alcohol starts to loosen him up as well. He leans into Magnus’ side, Magnus’ arm around his shoulders, and settles into the conversation.

After two drinks the others move to the dance floor leaving Magnus and Alec alone. Magnus’ hand rubs up and down Alec’s arm while he sips his drink.

“How are you darling? Do you want to leave?” Magnus asks.

Alec shakes his head, “I’m good Mags. It’s nice hanging out with everyone.”

Alec sips at his third drink. 

When Alec finishes it he feels warm and happy. He doesn’t remember why he had been nervous about coming here. He looks at Magnus then at the others dancing. He reaches over and takes away Magnus’ drink. Magnus makes a surprised noise at his lost drink. Alec smiles and grabs Magnus’ hand, standing. Magnus looks up at him with his brow quirked.

“Let’s dance.” Alec says, pulling on Magnus’ hand until he too is standing.

“You sure Alexander? It’s pretty crowded.” Magnus inquires, his free hand on Alec’s hip.

Alec leans in to kiss Magnus throughly. When he pulls back for breath, their eyes meet and he licks his lips, “Yes.”

Without waiting for a response he turns and pulls Magnus behind him as they make their way to the others. The group notices Alec there and then look at Magnus with eyes widened, unsure what was happening. Magnus shrugs with a smile on his face and lets Alec maneuver his body where he wanted. Once Magnus is where he wants, Alec steps up close and puts his hands on Magnus’ chest. A new song starts and they move to the beat. Alec doesn’t worry about steps and beats and coordination. He just moves with Magnus, letting Magnus guide him. 

His chest is warm and full, contentedness thrumming in his veins. Here, with Magnus, was where he belonged, where he wanted to be. And to have the other important people in his life there as well just added to his happiness.

When they return to their seats, Magnus leaves to go check in with the staff. Izzy wastes no time in pouncing on the open space next to Alec. She grabs his hand to look at the ring again.

“I’m so happy for you big brother.” She smiles wide at him and nudges him with her shoulder. “When did he do it?”

Alec feels a blush creep into his cheeks, “After dinner, dessert actually.”

She quirks her brow, “And? Was it totally romantic? Did he get down on a knee?”

Alec laughs at her onslaught and sets his drink down to turn to her more fully. He looks down at the ring Izzy is twisting with her fingers. “Yes, he got down on one knee. And… it was perfect.”

Izzy coos at him, then reaches up to hug him tight, “I’m so glad Alec. You deserve it, you both do.” She leans back to smirk at him, “Now, about the ceremony…”

Alec laughs and hugs her close again.

“What! Too soon?” Izzy laughs against his chest.

“Just a little.”

When Magnus returns Izzy vacates the seat. Magnus settles back in by Alec’s side.

He leans towards Alec, “Let me guess, she’s already planning the ceremony.”

Alec’s eyes twinkle as he laughs, “Yes she is.”

Magnus glances to Izzy who grins at him and gives him a wave, then turns his attention back to Alec. He smirks, “She does have fabulous taste Alexander.”

Alec guffaws at that and leans his forehead against Magnus’ shoulder while he laughs. Magnus wraps an arm around Alec’s shoulders and smiles to himself.

When they finally make it home in the early hours of the morning they tumble into bed, all tangled up, and promptly pass out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling like this story is starting to wind down. Have a few more pieces in mind, but then I'll probably end it. Running out of ideas and don't want to draw it out pointlessly.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has a bad day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block... all I'm going to say.  
> If anyone has questions yet to be answered leave a comment and I'll try to address them before ending this fic.  
> A huge thank you to each one of you for reading, and commenters you have a special place in my heart. You provide me with the desire to write and the reason this fit has become what it has. THANK YOU!

Alec wakes to harsh, sharp, stabbing pain in his lower back and hip. He bites back a groan while he rolls to his back, trying to relieve the pain. He is unsuccessful because within moments Magnus is awake at his side.

“Alexander, are you alright?”

“Just sore.” 

Magnus tuts under his breath, “Darling. Shall I get some medicine?”

Alec shakes his head and uses his arms to sit up, sheets pooling in his lap, “No, I can do it.” He winces as he tries to move his legs towards the side of the bed.

Magnus rests a hand on Alec’s thigh, “I’ll get it.”

Alec barks out, “No.”

But Magnus has already summoned a glass of water and pills. He holds them out for Alec to take.

Alec puts all his weight on one arm and uses the other hand to take the pills. He pops them in his mouth then grabs the glass to gulp down some water.

Magnus takes the glass back gently, “Do you want a massage? Or maybe a hot shower?”

Alec inhales deeply, trying to center himself. Magnus was just trying to help, he didn’t deserve Alec snapping at him. Alec acquiesces, “Maybe a little massage.”

Magnus reaches out with his hand rests his fingertips lightly on the scar. Alec flinches.

“Soft please.” Alec whispers, tensing his body.

Magnus puts only the slightest pressure into his fingertips as he starts to move them in small circles. Alec’s head drops forward, chin against his chest as he groans in pain. 

Magnus waits for Alec’s muscles to relax before he presses a little firmer. He circles out from the scar then back in. He listens to Alec’s breathing and waits for it to even out.

“How’s that love?” Magnus whispers, dropping a kiss to Alec’s shoulder.

Alec hums and relaxes further under Magnus’ ministrations.

After awhile Alec sits up and looks over at Magnus. He leans over a bit, Magnus moving the rest of the way for a kiss.

“Thanks Mags.”

“Anytime angel.”

Alec gives Magnus a soft smile, “Shower now.”

“Can I join you?” Magnus wraps his around Alec’s shoulders and hugs him close for a moment.

Alec nods and then concentrates on moving his bad hip and leg. Magnus reaches out but stops himself knowing Alec doesn’t like help. Doesn’t like feeling weak. Even if Magnus did it out of love.

Magnus moves to Alec’s side of the bed when Alec is finally sitting at the edge. Magnus holds his hands out silently, offering support. Alec stares at Magnus’ hands for a full minute before moving his own hands to Magnus’, accepting the offer of help. Magnus pulls as Alec uses Magnus to get himself standing up. Once upright Alec screws his eyes shut and takes a minute to overcome the dizzy wave of pain rushing through his body. Magnus squeezes his hands. Magnus waits silently for Alec.

When Alec opens his eyes he sees Magnus’ cat eyes looking back at him. He tries to smile at Magnus, but it falls into more of a grimace. 

“Ready?” Magnus’ voices floats into the space between them.

Alec nods as his cheeks flush in shame. Shame of needing help to move, to walk, to sit. Guilt that this effects Magnus instead of just him.

Alec wraps an arms around Magnus’ shoulders, grasping at Magnus’ hand once there. Magnus grabs hold of Alec’s good hip. 

The first steps are tentative, Alec figuring out how much weight his leg can take. The short trip to the bathroom doesn’t take long but Alec is still pale and thin lipped at the end of it.

Alec shifts to lean against the counter and motions for Magnus to start the shower. Alec moves his hand to the band of his boxers, then pauses. There was no way he was getting them off easily or painlessly. He hears the shower start.

At the sight of Magnus’ feet Alec looks up.

“Shall I?” Magnus asks, waving his hand in the air indicating his magic.

Alec nods, flushing yet again at needing help with such basic things. Magnus’ hands move to cradle Alec’s face, leaning in close, noting something in Alec’s eyes.

“Darling, it’s okay to have a bad day. It’s okay to ask for help.” Magnus whispers against Alec’s mouth.

“‘Kay.” Alec responds, barely audible. He leans in the inch to connect their lips in a soft kiss.

When they pull back Magnus snaps his fingers and both of their boxers disappear. Alec feels vulnerable, his soul exposed, like Magnus can see every crevice normally hidden in the darkness. 

Magnus takes Alec in his arms and holds him close. He kisses Alec’s forehead and breathes in Alec’s scent. Alec’s free hand rests lightly on Magnus’ hip.

“Shower is ready.” Magnus whispers against Alec’s forehead, not really wanting to move. He pulls back at Alec’s nod and they move into the shower. 

Magnus moves Alec to stand in the spray, the water hitting his back to soothe the pain. Magnus braces Alec, taking some of his weight as Alec leans into him.

Magnus coaxes Alec through each step as he works to get Alec soft and pliant under his hands. Once done he turns off the shower and summons a towel. He gently runs the towel through Alec’s hair, drying it somewhat, then moving to Alec’s body. He wraps the towel around Alec’s waist and walks him over to sit on the closed toilet. He quickly dries himself and goes to retrieve clothes. He makes a pit stop at the edge of the bed, sending off a text before moving to the closet.

—

Magnus has just helped Alec settle on the sectional couch when the buzzer sounds. Alec looks at him, questioning. Magnus waves his hand to allow the visitor to enter, and finishes tucking the blanket in around Alec, making sure the pillow at Alec’s low back is perfectly placed. The medicine must have taken the edge off because Alec gives a half hearted roll of his eyes and huffs at Magnus’ mother hen tendencies.

“Hello boys!” Izzy calls from the doorway where she slips off her heels. She pads her way into the living room. “A little bird told me refreshments were needed, “ Izzy sets the drink tray and bag on the coffee table. She hands a drink to Magnus, then hands one to Alec. She wavers a moment when she sees his pale, drawn face with smudges under his eyes. She recovers quickly and turns to the bag, “So I stopped to get us coffee and baked goods.”

“Perfect as always Isabelle.” Magnus leans forward to press a kiss to her cheek.

Izzy smiles up at him, fluttering her lashes, “Only for my favorite people.”

Alec shakes his head and huffs out a laugh before taking a sip from his drink.

Izzy opens the bag and pulls out a few paper plates and napkins, “Okay. I got a muffins, and croissants.” She looks up at Alec, “What would you like big brother?”

Alec shrugs, “It all sounds good.”

Izzy sighs and pulls out a croissant, “A croissant it is.” She puts it on a plate and hands it over to Alec. She turns to Magnus and motions towards the bag. Izzy settles at the end of the couch by Alec’s feet, a muffin on the coffee table in front of her, and her drink in hand. She curls her legs up and tucks her feet underneath her.

Magnus chooses a croissant and settles at Alec’s side, crossing his legs.

Alec takes a sip of his drink then looks at Izzy, “You didn’t have to come over.” He glances at Magnus, “You didn’t need to bother her.”

Magnus just shrugs and Izzy pats Alec’s lower leg.

Izzy smiles at Alec, “Well, I’m here so you’ll just have to deal with it now.”

Alec gives her a lop sided smile, “I guess if I _have_ to.”

Izzy scoffs at him eliciting a laugh.

Magnus laughs, “Now children, no bickering. Time to behave and make adult decisions.” He grabs the remote and pulls up the guide. “Say Yes to the Dress or Project Runway?”

Izzy taps her chin with a manicured nail, “Choices, choices, choices.”

Alec clears his throat and murmurs, “Project Runway is pretty good.”

Magnus turns to Alec and beams at him, “Decision made darling.” He leans over to press a kiss to Alec’s lips then turns to the correct channel.

They watch a few episodes making comments and reviewing each designers work. Alec even offers a few opinions which pleases Magnus to no end. There was hope for his angel yet.

After the third episode Alec pushes the blanket to the side and moves his leg towards the edge of the couch, a hiss escaping his lips at the pain. Magnus rushes to set his things down and takes Alec’s drink also. He then reaches out and helps Alec moves his legs off the couch so he’s sitting up. Izzy shifts, unsure what to do to help. Magnus glances at her and motions for her to stay there. 

Magnus turns back to Alec, holding out his hands. Alec takes them, face flushing once again but this time for showing such weakness and dependency in front of his sister. He knows she doesn’t care or think differently of him for needing it, but he still feels uncomfortable. 

Alec whispers, “Can I - have my cane?” His faces flushes.

Magnus nods and summons Alec’s cane and hands it over. Alec takes and uses it to hobble out of the room.

Magnus’ and Izzy’s eyes watch him until he disappears around the corner.

“How bad?” Izzy asks.

“Not horrible. But enough. You know how he is about showing pain - he thinks it’s weakness.” Magnus busies himself picking up the plates and crumbs.

“Yes, Alec is stubborn like that.” Izzy takes everything from Magnus and takes it the kitchen. 

Magnus follows and gets a glass of juice for Alec and some more medicine. They return to the living room. Magnus fluffs the pillow and Izzy pulls the blanket off the couch so she can rearrange it when Alec is back.

“Do you have clients today?” Izzy asks once they’ve settled back in their seats.

“Three. But I’ll probably reschedule.”

Alec’s voice precedes him around the corner, “I’m fine Mags. I can handle myself for a few hours.” Alec turns the corner and hobble back towards the couch.

Magnus stands and helps Alec get back on the couch. Izzy helps with his legs then fusses with the blanket, tucking it around his legs. Alec gives her a pained smile. Magnus holds out the pills and juice. 

“Thanks.” Alec mutters while he takes the pills and sips at the juice.

“Anytime darling. Need anything else?”

“No. And you don’t need to reschedule. You know I’m fine by myself.” Alec hands Magnus the juice.

Magnus glances at Izzy, a question in his eyes.

Alec makes a disgruntled noise, “Magnus. I don’t need a babysitter.” He’s rapidly getting irritated. He knows his fuse is short due the pain but he can’t help it.

Izzy speaks up, “Big brother, just to keep you company, not to babysit.”

“Alexander, you knows it’s just because of my unfounded need to worry.”

Alec sighs, put out, “Fine. As long as you go.”

Magnus smiles and leans over to kiss Alec’s temple, “Thank you love.”

—

Jace shows up shortly after Magnus leaves, and Alec insists on Izzy leaving since she had already spent most of the morning and early afternoon. Izzy eventually gives in and leaves after giving Alec a kiss, laughing as she licks her thumb to rub at the lipstick left on his cheek. 

Once the door shuts, Alec speaks up, “Jace, I really don’t need a babysitter. You really don’t need to be here.”

Jace shrugs and moves closer to Alec until their arms are touching. He then lifts his leg to lay along Alec’s on the edge of the couch. Alec is reminded on how often physical touch helped settle the bond, back when it was there. Jace’s other leg is stretched out and resting on the coffee table.

“I know that. But you know Magnus.” 

Alec sighs, “Sometimes it’s annoying.”

Jace smirks, “Well you have to deal with the good and the bad. And having some bro time can’t be that bad.”

Alec huffs, “With you it is.”

Jace gasps dramatically, hand flying to his chest, “You wound me Alec.”

Alec nudges Jace with his shoulder, laughing quietly.

Jace looks up at the TV, “So what’s on?”

“We were watching Project Runway reruns.”

“Project what?”

“You wouldn’t like it.”

“Okay. Change it then.”

Alec motions to the remote and Jace hands it over. He switches over to the sports channels and starts flipping through. They end up on an MMA fight and Jace’s fight lights up.

“Now that is some quality programming.”

They watch the fight but Alec fades and falls asleep before it’s over.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small little gift before I leave for the weekend. I'm sorry you've been without an update for so long. I'm working on a new fanfic and have been battling writer's block.  
> Anyway, enjoy this short little scene.

Alec opens the door with a smile. Before the door is fully open a small being throws themself forward against his legs, hugging tight.

“Mr. Alec!”

Alec laughs, “Hi Marina.” He pats her back, then looks up at Kenton, her father, “Hello.”

Kenton, still stiff and formal, “Thank you Mr. Lightwood for watching her this afternoon.”

Finally released from Marina’s embrace, Alec kneels down to her level to give her a hug, “Anytime Kenton. She’s always welcome to spend time with us.”

Awkward, Kenton coughs into his hand and shifts weight from one side to another, “Ok. I should be going then.”

Marina smiles up at him and blows him a kiss, “Bye Daddy!” With that she turns and runs into the loft.

Alec laughs, “Have a good day. We’ll hold down the fort here with Marina.”

Kenton nods stiffly and walks away.

Alec shuts the door softly and goes to the living room, following the voices.

“Mr. Magnus, I brought a movie. Do you know Ariel?” Marina babbles.

Magnus smiles up at Alec once he enters the living room. Magnus motions to Alec, “Marina, I don’t know if Alec knows about Ariel.”

Marina gasps, an adorable look of surprise on her face, she turns dramatically to Alec, “You don’t know Ariel?”

Alec sits down on the couch next to Magnus, “No I don’t know an Ariel.”

Marina immediately starts talking in a rush, “She’s a Disney princess. And she sings a lot. And she’s a mermaid. And then she meets the bad witch who gives her legs by magic and-“ Marina struggles to pull out a DVD from her backpack, then shoves it into Alec’s lap, “And she meets the prince. But you know the coolest part? She’s a mermaid so she has scales like me!” Marina brushes her fingers against her cheek and neck.

Magnus cocks his head, “Darling have you seen any Disney movies?”

Alec frowns, “I don’t know. Maybe?”

Marina looks at Magnus, concerned, “Mr. Magnus, he hasn’t seen any! You haven’t shown him any yet? But it’s so important Mr. Magnus!”

“You can just call me Magnus little one. And yes, I have made a grievous mistake. One we shall start to fix immediately. Shall I put in the movie?”

Marina nods quickly and heaves herself up on the couch, then climbs into Alec’s lap. She twists to look up at him, “You gotta learn all the songs. It’s very important Mr. Alec. You have to know _all_ the words!”

Alec smiles, “I’ll make sure I pay attention. I don’t know if I’ll get it on the first try though.”

Marina flops her hand, “Mr. Magnus can get you a cd with the music. Next time you have to sing all the songs with me!”

“I’m not a good singer Marina.”

Marina crosses her arms and huffs, “I don’t care. You have to sing with me.”

Alec presses a kiss to her head, “Ok, whatever you say.”

Pleased, Marina stretches up, grabbing Alec’s cheek and pulling his face downwards. She presses a kiss to his cheek then turns forward.

Magnus comes back to the couch to sit next to Alec and smiles at him, a twinkle in his eye.

Marina sings along to each song, and makes sure Alec is paying attention during the important parts. Alec tries hard to follow along but enjoys watching Marina more.

—

After saying goodbye to Marina and Kenton, Magnus returns to the couch to sit at Alec’s side. He loops an arm around Alec’s shoulders and with his free hand he grabs hold of Alec’s hand. He turns and presses a kiss to Alec’s lips.

“Did you have a good afternoon? Marina is a handful but delightful.”

Alec sighs happily, smiling, “She’s adorable. I like seeing you around her. You’re good with her.”

Magnus looks down at their intertwined fingers, “You are better with her. She loves you the most I think.”

Alec laughs, “I don’t know about that, but it’s always fun to have her around.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, just enjoying sitting next to each other. Magnus’ hand rubs up and down Alec’s upper arm. Alec tucks his head into the crook of Magnus’ neck and rubs in thumb in circles on the back of Magnus’ hand in his.

Relaxed, Alec only hesitates a moment before he asks, “Do you want kids?”

He immediately regrets asking as Magnus freezes and goes tense against him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean- I shouldn’t have-“ Alec starts apologizing, but falls silent at Magnus’ finger on his lips.

“Darling, it’s fine. I was just taken by surprise. We haven’t talked about this before.”

Alec looks up at Magnus’ golden eyes, trying to read them, “We don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to. I just asked without thinking. And it doesn’t have to be now. Or ever if you don’t want-“

Magnus silences him again, “Alexander. I would love to have kids with you. We don’t have to rush.”

Alec grabs Magnus’ hand and squeezes, “I would-“ He pauses, trying to organize the words from his thoughts into what he can speak, “I think you’d make a great father.”

Magnus smiles and presses a kiss against Alec’s lips, “You would make an amazing dad angel. You are so good with Marina.”

Alec twists Magnus’ hand in his, playing with the rings there, “Even though we can’t our own- there are so many out there that need a family. I think we could be a good family for them.”

Magnus smirks, “Oh really? And how many are we going to adopt?”

Alec peeks at him through the corner of his eye, “One to start.”

“To start…” Magnus leads, waiting for Alec to elaborate.

“Well, we will see how it goes. Maybe more one day.” Alec looks off into the distance, eyes unfocused, before turning back to Magnus, “We don’t have to do it right now. We can wait. I mean, we’d have to make space, and get supplies, and decide on what kind of child we’re willing to take in-“

“Ssshhh darling. We’ll go through all those steps when we’re ready, ok?”

Alec nods, still fiddling with Magnus’ rings.

“One day love, we’ll have a child to love without end.”


	39. Chapter 39

Magnus steps through the portal to the living room of the loft. His eyes search for Alec first, and sighs when no one is there. Then he hears the music. Is that The Little Mermaid? A grin bursts into life on his face and a laugh falls from his lips.

“Magnus?” Alec calls, rounding the corner.

Magnus drinks in the sight of his archer, dropping the shopping bag on the floor, striding over to grab Alec. He hugs Alec close and kisses him. He hums along to the song floating in the air and leans in for another kiss.

When they pull apart Alec smiles at him, “What’s got you in such a great mood?”

Magnus chuckles, “I’m home with the love of my life in my arms. What’s not to be happy about?!?”

Alec laughs, “I’m taking it was a good day.”

Magnus nods, taking Alec’s hand and leading him to the couch. He sits down, pulling Alec onto his lap. “It was.” He kisses Alec again, and smiles, “I got you something.”

Alec’s brow rise in question as Magnus magics the bag to his hand. He reaches in and takes out a smaller bag, “I know you don’t really wear this stuff. But I saw it and couldn’t resist. It’s just perfect for you.”

Alec eyes the bag warily as Magnus hands it over. He reaches in and pulls out a square box the size of his palm. Magnus motions for Alec to open it.

Alec removes the top, Magnus taking it and setting it to the side. Alec lifts up the cotton batting and his eyes light up at the silver necklace laid out on velvet. A thick arrow charm hanging from the chain. 

“It’s beautiful Magnus.” Alec says, still admiring it.

“I know you don’t wear jewelry darling, but I saw it and I just… You had to have it.”

Alec smiles at Magnus and kisses him. When they pull back Magnus takes the box from Alec’s hands and removes the necklace. He holds it up, asking for permission to put it on Alec.

Alec nods and Magnus reaches behind Alec’s neck to latch the clasp and secure the necklace. Alec’s hand goes to the arrow charm resting against his sternum. His fingers rub over the smooth surface.

“Thank you.”

Magnus smiles lovingly up at Alec, “I love you.”

Alec leans down to press another kiss to Magnus’ lips, “I love you too Magnus.”

Magnus sighs, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist. The music again catches his attention. Magnus smirks and cocks his head, “And the music?”

Alec flushes, and looks at Magnus through his eyelashes, “I promised Marina. So I’m learning the words.”

Magnus grins at Alec, and Alec can’t help but smile back. Magnus’ eyes flit over Alec’s face, “She’s so in love with you.”

“You too.” Alec huffs.

“Hmmm. I think you’re her favorite.”

Alec chuckles, “Whatever you say Mags.”

Magnus leans forward to nose at Alec’s neck, “ _Whatever_ I say?”

Alec hums in agreement before he realizes what he’s agreeing to. Magnus smirks and pulls back looking at Alec. Alec realizes what he just approved but before he can speak Magnus cuts him off.

“We’re going out.”

“Ok, where?”

“Not in New York. I’m feeling,” Magnus helps Alec to his feet and then follows him up, “Buenos Aires.”

Alec’s brows climb, “Buenos Aires? Argentina?”

Magnus nods, hands still on Alec’s waist, “Yes, we haven’t been there yet.”

“But why?”

Magnus smirks, “I want to show you off. And the atmosphere darling. Oh! You’ll love it.”

Alec laughs at Magnus’ enthusiasm and rests a hand against Magnus’ chest, “Well, what does one wear to Buenos Aires?”

Magnus eyes Alec up and down, “I think I have something in mind.”

Magnus takes Alec’s hand and leads him into the bedroom.

—

Alec follows Magnus through the portal onto a cobblestone alleyway. He can hear faint music, guitar strums carrying through the open air. Magnus looks back at Alec and smiles, squeezing his hand. Magnus leads them out of the alleyway onto the street.

The soft afternoon sunlight bathes the vibrant colors of the houses and the various flowers. There’s a soft breeze caressing their skin as they go. Chatter from the voices of passerby add to the music in their ears.

Alec smiles widely as he takes it all in before returning his gaze to Magnus. Magnus is looking perfect, as always. He’s gone purple with his outfit and eyeshadow. And it’s not a lie that it’s the color of royalty, because Magnus looks like a King walking on the street in front of Alec. 

Alec is wearing a dark green long sleeved button up and fitted jeans. He watches, the corners of his eyes crinkling, as Magnus walks backwards so he can face Alec. Magnus’ free hand waving in the air, pointing things out, talking animatedly.

Alec’s heart is so full he feels it may burst. Moments like these were one of his favorites.

Magnus tugs on Alec’s hand, pulling Alec flush against his chest.

“I love you darling.”

Alec smiles wider, “I love you too.”

Magnus leans in to press a kiss to Alec’s lips.

“You hungry?” Magnus asks.

Alec nods. Magnus turns and resumes walking, pulling Alec to his side and wrapping a hand around Alec’s waist.

“There’s this wonderful little place just a little ways down this street. You’ll love the empanadas.”

They pause in a plaza at the edge of a crowd surrounding a few musicians and a dancer. Magnus hums along, his fingers tapping along to the rhythm against Alec’s side.

Alec watches the women twirl her full skirt and twist and turn to the music. He turns to Magnus, “Do you know that dance?”

Magnus nods, “Tango.”

Alec turns back to the dancer, “It’s beautiful.”

He feels Magnus press a kiss to his cheek.

Magnus whispers, “Not as beautiful as you love.”

Alec laughs, blushing.

After a few moments they continue their way to the restaurant. Magnus somehow talks his way into getting them a small table next to the open windows, while still affording them a view of the musicians performing on stage.

Alec catches a few words here and there in Spanish but not enough to follow the entire conversation. He relaxes and lets Magnus’ voice wash over him. His fingers twist at Magnus’ rings where their hands are clasped over the table.

The waitress brings over wine, serving them each a glass. Magnus takes a sip, his eyes glittering in the fading sunlight. Alec follows suit and hums, pleased at the taste.

Magnus regales Alec with his various adventures in Argentina, intermittently pausing to serenade Alec along with the music being played. Alec takes it in stride, even though his face feels like a neon sign from his blushes. The band plays a few different styles of music, but all enjoyable.

During a pause in the conversation, Magnus having dug in to desert, Alec speaks up, “Mags.”

Magnus hums in response.

“Thank you. This is nice.”

Magnus finishes his mouthful and answers with a smile, “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

They finish their wine and desert then head back out to the street. They make their way further down the boulevard. Arriving at another plaza they find another dancer with musicians. They move to the front of the crowd to get a better view.

The dancer’s eyes fall on Magnus and light up. She smiles and beckons him with her curling fingers. Magnus turns to Alec, giving him a wink and pat on the back before moving forward to the dancer’s side. Magnus joins the dancer’s movements to the music seamlessly. It’s fluid with moments of drama. Alec finds himself clapping enthusiastically with the crowd when the song ends. He watches as the dancer talks to Magnus animatedly and how Magnus motions to him. The dancer smiles wide at Alec and pats Magnus’ arm. Magnus leaves her and returns to Alec’s side.

“Forgive me for abandoning you for a moment love.” Magnus wraps an arm around Alec’s waist, squeezing tight for a moment.

Alec smiles, “You’re forgiven. That was amazing.”

Magnus offers his free hand, “Care to dance?”

Alec looks at Magnus’ hand, eyes wide, “Mags… I don’t dance!”

“I’ll guide you.”

Alec looks around and gulps down his nerves. What the hell. It’s not like he was going to see these people again anytime soon, if ever. He takes Magnus’ hand and is pulled flush against Magnus’ front. Magnus grasps one of Alec’s hands and rests the other on the small of Alec’s back. He starts to move to the music. The first few steps are awkward, but Alec lets go of his need to be in control and gives it up to Magnus. 

At the end Magnus twirls Alec around and back into his arms. Alec catches himself with a hand against Magnus’ chest.

Alec laughs out loud in joy. Nights like these became cherished memories. Right up there along with every other moment spent with Magnus. Regardless of the activity or location.

After a few more songs they decide to walk back the way they came. Leisurely looking at the various shops they pass, commenting on unique things they notice. Alec has to drag Magnus past a shop when he makes the mistake of mentioning how good an artwork was. Magnus huffs and says he’ll just come back later. Alec gives in and they return to the store. Magnus insists on selecting a few more items to decorate the loft so the artwork blended in. Alec sighs and helps pick things out.

They make their way back to where they portalled in with bags in their hands. Magnus had convinced Alec to stop at a handmade jewelry store, where Alec had to physically drag Magnus from the store to stop buying more things.

Pausing in the alleyway, Alec pulls Magnus closes and kisses him languidly. Pulling back slightly he murmurs against Magnus’ lips, “This was perfect. I love you.”

Magnus smiles, “I love you too Alexander.”

Magnus summons the portal and they step through back to the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm speechless. How'd we get to 79k-ish and 39 chapters? And over 1k kudos?!?! You guys are amazing. This was my first foray into a multi chapter fanfic that I actually had an idea of how I wanted it to go. We passed that point a long time ago. But here we are. Thank you, especially to those who've commented regularly. You provide me the motivation to keep writing.  
> I have ideas for a few more chapters, so we aren't done yet.  
> Much love- Gigi


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding, Part 1 - The Ceremony

Alec is perched on Catarina’s sofa waiting for Izzy, his leg bouncing up and down with nerves. Finally, the day had arrived. By the end of today Magnus would be his husband. Alec twists his engagement ring absentmindedly. The fading rays of the sun caressing his back from the window.

Just as he’s sure he’s going to go crazy, Izzy arrives with a garment bag in hand. She greets him with a tremendous smile and a hug.

“Hey big brother. Ready for your big day?”

Alec’s eyes fix on the garment bag, “Not really.”

Izzy laughs, “That’s perfectly acceptable. They’ll go away.”

Alec glances at the clock, “Do we have enough time?” He knows it’s going to take a long time to make him presentable. Especially for something of this caliber. His breathing quickens and he rubs his fingers together as his thoughts begin to whirl. Magnus would look amazing, of course, and he’d be… him. 

“Of course we do.” Izzy leads the way to Catarina’s extra bedroom and lays the garment bag on the bed, unzipping it carefully.

Alec takes in the cobalt blue suit and the white dress shirt. A rich red tie is hanging down over the white shirt.

Izzy claps her hands, “First, let’s get you dressed.” She removes the clothes carefully from the hangar and lays them out on the bed. She holds out the suit pants, “Here you go.”

Alec takes the pants from her hands, “I can get dressed myself.”

“Of course you can Alec.” Izzy laughs. “Come out when you’re done.” Izzy leaves, clicking the door shut behind her.

Alec takes a deep breath and changes into the suit. It takes a little bit to button up the dress shirt, his fingers trembling slightly. Lastly he grabs the tie and loops it around his neck. He tries to knot it but keeps fumbling. He pulls it off in a huff and exits the room. Izzy is waiting in the open living space, an array of products on the dinning room table. She takes one look at Alec’s face and the tie in his hand and laughs. She holds out her hand.

As she works on the tie she teases, “Absolutely hopeless Alec. Good thing I’m here to put you together.” She pats his shoulder and smoothes her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, smoothing the suit jacket. She takes a step back and hums in approval. “Perfect.”

Alec runs his hands down the tie anxiously, “Thank you Izzy. I wouldn’t - couldn’t do this without you.”

“Of course big brother. Today is a big day.” Izzy motions to a chair, “Now sit.”

Alec obeys and watches as she grabs a spray. She sets to work on his hair. Alec hopes she’s able to tame it. 

After a time Izzy finally seems satisfied. She takes a step back from him, “There.” She runs her fingers along his hairline, tucking away a few stray hairs.

Alec just looks up at her, trusting her judgement.

Izzy turns to the table and picks up a pencil, “Now, I grabbed this just in case. It’s totally your choice. But I think it would make your eyes pop. And Magnus would love it.”

Alec eyes the pencil warily, “What is it?”

“Eyeliner.” Izzy uncaps it so Alec can see the tip.

Alec bites on his lip as he considers it. Magnus has mentioned before he’d like to see Alec with some eyeliner. To try it at some point. But at his wedding? He looks up at Izzy, “Are you sure it’ll look okay?”

Izzy nods, giving her brother space to decide.

Alec finally acquiesces, nodding, “Okay.”

Izzy walks him through the process as she applies it. She’s smiling when she finishes, which allays Alec’s fears somewhat.

Izzy picks up a medium sized mirror from the table and holds it up, “Take a look.”

Alec grasps the mirror and examines himself. His eyes look bright and defined, the eyeliner emphasizing the curves of his eyes. He looks at his hair and relaxes when he sees that Izzy has styled it perfectly.

Alec hands the mirror back, “Thank you Iz.”

Izzy nods, “Do you need a snack?”

Alec contemplates it for a moment before shaking his head, “I can wait.”

“Okay. Well, we’re ready to go.” She glances at her phone for the time, “Perfect timing. Catarina should be opening a portal any minute now.”

Alec shakes out his hands, taking a deep breathe and blowing it out. Izzy pats his arm.

“This is going to be amazing big brother. You’ll love all of it.”

Alec smiles at her and stands as the portal appears.

They step through and arrive in the living room of the loft. It’s empty except for Cat and Jace.

Jace claps a hand to Alec’s arm, “How you feeling Alec?”

Alec presses the palm of his hand over his chest, “Nervous.”

Cat smiles, “Everyone is seated and ready. We should all go up to take our places, and Alec you give us minute then come on out. Ok?”

Alec nods, unable to form words. Excitement starting to tangle with the nerves. He watches as the three disappear up the stairs to the rooftop terrace, the door shutting behind them.

Alec forces himself to take several deep breaths before slowly climbing the steps.

Alec exits the rooftop door and takes in the sight before him. Butterflies swoop and tumble in his stomach. Fairy floating lights line the aisle and the edges of the terrace. The aisle runner and bows on the chairs are cobalt blue, with red roses as accents. Red rose petals rest along the runner, courtesy of the flower girl Marina. A melody floats through the air, causing love to swell in the listeners’ hearts. 

Alec’s eyes skim over the guests, lingering a moment on those closest to him, taking in their smiles. His eyes move to the front and sees the arch with red roses and cobalt blue ribbons intertwining the white lines of the arch, fairy lights woven amongst them. A magnificent backdrop for Catrina and Magnus, an otherworldly light illuminating them.

Alec locks eyes with Magnus. A smile grows on Magnus’ face and Alec can’t help but return it. He walks slowly up the aisle, eyes locked on the love of his life. When he arrives up front Magnus reaches out a hand to help Alec up the small step to stand in front of him. Alec notices that Magnus’ nails are painted a red to match the roses and his shirt underneath his blazer. 

Magnus takes both Alec’s hands in his. Alec swallows and blinks back the tears threatening to gather. Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand, his eyes questioning. Alec squeezes back and gives a minute nod of his head. He was fine, just overwhelmed by the intense love he feels for and from Magnus, the perfect atmosphere and decorations. 

Alec had never allowed himself to dream of something as wonderful as this for a wedding. Growing up he had expected a wedding as a duty, an obligation. He never imagined he’d find the love of his life, a man, a Downworlder, and be able to show that love. Be allowed to have it and give it freely. To finally get what he had secretly hoped for. He had lost so much of what he had used to define himself, what had been his identity. But he had made it to the other side and was standing in front of the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He felt happy, terrified, joyous, nervous, but most importantly, love.

Alec couldn’t concentrate on what Catarina was saying, all his attention in his gaze roaming Magnus’ features. The world narrows down to Magnus in front of him. He wants to memorize this moment, to have it forever in his mind, in his heart. The sweep of Magnus’ hair, the kohl lining his eyes. The deep red eyeshadow, a light sheen of glitter over it. Caramel golden skin sweeping in the graceful cut of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw. The pink of kissable lips that even now call out to Alec. And the most brilliant thing, Magnus’ golden cat eyes. 

Alec comes back to the rooftop at the squeeze of Magnus’ hands and hears Catarina announcing it was time for the vows. Magnus had suggested they do their own. Magnus had a way with words, a way to flourish them and paint the world in beautiful colors. Alec, however, was not blessed with words. He had never been a big talker, and had only started opening up once he met Magnus. 

“Now it’s time for the vows and exchange of rings.”

Magnus turns to Raphael, retrieving Alec’s ring held by their best men. Watching Magnus turn back to him, Alec meets Magnus’ eyes again and is greeted by a heartwarming smile.

Magnus goes first, his fingers interlaced with Alec’s. Catarina reads off the mundane vows, Magnus repeating them back, never losing eye contact with Alec. His golden cat eyes looking at Alec full of love.

With “I do.” Magnus raises Alec’s left hand and slowly slides the wedding ring on before meeting Alec’s eyes again. Magnus smiles and Alec can tell he was holding himself back from kissing him. Alec smiles at him and squeezes his hand.

Alec turns to Jace and exchanges a small smile with him as he takes Magnus’ ring. Alec glances down at the wedding band in his hand as he turns to Magnus. His thoughts flit through the numerous conversations about the design. The final design was definitely something he could wear for the rest of his life, and would make his heart thud each time he saw it gracing Magnus’ finger. A wide silver band with a glittering sapphire in the shape of an arrow raised slightly from the band. A sapphire for Magnus’ magic and an arrow for Alec. A perfect mix of them both.

Alec takes a deep breath and his anxiety flits away, a calm spreading through his body. Catarina leads him through the same vows and Alec pushes all his hopes and dreams into each word. There was no way to measure the depths of his love for the warlock in front of him.

“I do.” Alec carefully lifts Magnus’ left hand to slide the ring onto his finger. A joyous bubble of glee floats in Alec’s chest at the sight of the wedding ring against Magnus’ golden skin.

Vows done, there is a sheen of tears in both of their eyes. 

Catarina’s voice enters the space between them, calling their attention to her, “We’re now going to do the Warlock ceremony for joining together. Please join hands.”

Alec and Magnus grasp each other’s hands, intertwining their fingers.

Catarina’s white magic floats from her hands down to encompass Magnus and Alec’s forearms and hands. Ribbons appear at their elbows, cobalt blue for Alec, rose red for Magnus. As Catarina speaks, the ribbons twine themselves around their forearms to their wrists.

“This is a promise you are making to each other. To love each other in good times and bad. To be a light in the dark when needed, a warm, glowing sun to bask in for comfort, a joyful laugh in celebration.”

The ribbons begin twining between their fingers, tying them together.

“To support each other when the other stumbles. Lend strength when one wavers. To also return to each other no matter the obstacle.”

The ribbons wind up the opposite’s wrist and forearms, ending at the elbows.

“May you love and be loved for the rest of your time together, with strength, and through weaknesses. Whatever may come, may you choose each other’s heart.”

The ribbons melt into the skin and fabric they cover, the sensation of a massaging presence rubbing it into place.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss.”

Magnus brings his hands up to cradle Alec’s face and they lean together, lips meeting. The world narrows down to just them, in this moment. When they break apart, Catarina rests her hands on their shoulders.

Turning to face their family and friends, Catarina speaks, “I'm honored to introduce Mr. And Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never imagined that this fic would go all the way it has or as far. I appreciate each and every one of you. Especially those that have commented and provided with the motivation to continue. Extra special thanks to Angeleyez who talked me through various places when I got stuck.  
> Thank you for reading and showing interest. And for coming along for the ride.  
> There will be a Part 2 - The reception. That will likely be the last chapter.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After what happened this week, I just want to say I love each and every one of you in whatever form I find you. If anyone needs someone to talk to at ANY time, please know that I am here, whatever you need.  
> On twitter: GioM_87  
> Tumblr: gigi--87  
> Thank you.

Alec and Magnus move to the edge of the cleared living and dining rooms, by the balcony doors. The guests would be descending on them in moments. They smile at each other and press a kiss to each other’s lips.

“I love you Mr. Lightwood-Bane.” Alec murmurs against Magnus’ lips.

Magnus smiles and whispers back, “And I you, Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”

There’s a tickle at the back of his mind, an awareness growing. Alec glances at Magnus and smiles, it was starting, just like Magnus and Catarina had told him. The bond the ribbon ritual creates. Over time the awareness will let them have a sense of each other, their emotions and location. Alec thought of it as Magnus becoming his sun for Alec to orbit around. Though, he admits, that had already happened quite awhile ago. But now it was cemented into being.

The guests trickle into the large space, mingling with drinks, taking turns congratulating the couple. After they’ve spoken with almost all the guests Alec searches the crowd for Jace and Izzy, they were missing.

Magnus notices Alec looking around and pats his shoulder, “They’re bringing a special surprise for you darling.”

Alec looks at Magnus with a brow raised. Magnus smiles, “You’ll like it.”

Once the rooftop is ready for the reception, the guests head up the stairs back to the rooftop terrace.

Magnus turns to Alec when the last guest is out of sight, “Now for your surprise darling.”

“A surprise?”

Magnus nods, summoning a portal. Jace and Clary step through first, they take a few steps forward then stop. Alec catches a glimpse of Izzy’s hair as she comes through the portal. Jace smiles at Alec.

Alec gives a hesitant smile back, confused and anxious. Wondering what it could be.

Jace and Clary step to the side, exposing Izzy then a boy.

“Alec!”

Alec drops to his knees, reaching out his hands to catch the body barreling at him, “Max!”

He feels Magnus’ hand on his shoulder, but all his attention is on his brother in his arms. Max pulls back to smile at him, excitement on his face.

Alec smiles, tears blinding him, “Max.”

Izzy crouches down next to them, “Surprise big brother.”

Alec smiles at her and pulls her close, presses a fierce kiss to her head. Then pulls Max in with the other. “Thank you.”

“Couldn’t miss your wedding.” Max chirps.

Alec laughs wetly, relief flooding his chest. He whispers, “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Izzy pats Max’s arm, “It was hard, but we snuck him out. Today was too important.”

Magnus joins them on the floor, “Hey Max.”

Max glances over and gives Magnus a smile, “Hey Magnus.”

“Thank you for coming.” Magnus says.

“Well, you didn’t ask me for his hand, so had to come say you’re worthy somehow.” Max quips.

They all chuckle.

Magnus pulls Alec to his feet, the others following suit.

Izzy looks down at Max, “How about we go up and get our seats? It’s time to start.”

Max nods but turns back to Alec. He takes a step forward, hugging Alec around his waist, as high as he can reach, “Congratulations Alec.”

Alec pats Max’s shoulders with his hands, “Thank you Max. I’m so glad you could come.”

Max withdraws and lets Izzy lead him away. Jace follows them up.

Clary hangs back to speak with the couple. 

“Congratulations guys. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Alec smiles in thanks, Magnus pulls Clary into a hug. 

Clary turns to both of them, “I, uh, have a gift for you, well Alec.”

Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand. Alec swallows his nerves, “Yeah?”

Clary’s eyes sparkle as she smiles softly, she reaches into her purse and pulls out a stele. Alec flinches and grips Magnus hand hard. Magnus’ eyes narrow.

Clary realizes what happened, “Oh no. I should have explained first… Ithuriel visited me last night. Gave me a vision of a rune. One especially for you Alec.”

Alec stutters out, “I-I’m not - not a - shadowhunter anymore.”

Clary nods, “Ithuriel said it would work, that it doesn’t matter. That you are worthy because your heart is pure.”

Alec looks at the stele warily, “What’s it for?”

Clary glances between the two of them before settling back on Alec, “An immortality rune.”

Alec stands there in shock, hears Magnus quiet gasp. He looks down to the stele in Clary’s hand.

Magnus turns to him, “Love? You should think about this.”

Clary nods, “Yes, of course, you don’t have to-“

“I want it.” Alec says firmly, cutting through their words.

“Are you sure? This is a big decision. I don’t want you to make this decision in haste.” Magnus says, squeezing Alec’s hand.

“I’ve thought about this Magnus. At different points in our relationship, I’ve toyed with the idea.” Alec turns fully to Magnus and lays a hand on Magnus’ chest, over his heart. “I want this, I want _us_ every second possible. And I don’t mean a mortal life. I want to be with you for the rest of time. To be by your side and learn every last thing about each other, the world. To adopt kids, to see them grow, and then do it all over again. The things we could do, whether it’s here at home, or out there is the vastness of the world. I’m selfish and I want you, every breath, every heartbeat.” Alec brings Magnus’ hand to cover his heart, “This heart that you feel. It beats for you, and I want it to beat for you as long as there is life in your eyes Magnus.” He leans in and presses a kiss to Magnus’ lips, then pulls back to look him deep into his eyes, “I’m sure about this. I want this with every fiber of my being.”

Magnus’ eyes search Alec’s face for a few long moments.

Alec whispers, “Magnus Bane, you’ll always be my happy ending.” He reaches up to cup Magnus’ face.

A brilliant smile grows on Magnus’ face, his eyes glimmer with tears, “Alexander I love you more than words.”

Alec runs his thumb along Magnus’ cheekbone, “Okay?”

Magnus nods. Alec turns back to Clary.

Clary smiles at him, “We don’t have to do it right this minute. Your reception is waiting.”

Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand, “She’s right darling.”

Alec nods after a moment, “When it’s done?”

Clary nods, “Okay.”

Magnus makes a shooing motion with his hands, “Go on, get up there before we make our grand entrance.”

Clary laughs and hurries to the stairs.

Alec calls out, “You better be out of the way!”

Clary’s laugh echoes down the stairs then the door opens and shuts.

“Magnus?” Alec asks.

“Yes Alexander.”

“Today has been perfect.” Alec leans forward to rest his forehead against Magnus’.

“It’s not over yet.” Magnus whispers, smiling. He wraps an arm around Alec’s waist, “Ready?”

Alec nods and leans back. He grasps Magnus’ hand and is pulled forward. He follows Magnus up the stairs to the door. They pause. Magnus snaps his fingers, alerting Catarina of their impending arrival. They wait a moment then open the door.

Catarina calls out, “Announcing Mr. And Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”

The guests clap as Alec and Magnus walk out. Flashes go off which catch Alec off guard.

“Don’t worry darling. I got a photographer. We’ll need pictures of everything.” Magnus whispers in his ear.

Alec relaxes and follows Magnus up to the head table.

Alec floats on a cloud through the speeches, chuckling at times, but his eyes mostly remain on his husband. _Husband_. He was married, to _Magnus_.

Family and friends are gathered around them, encapsulating them with love and happiness. 

The meal passes without any problems, everyone enjoying their food, or blood in the vampire’s case.

Once the plates are cleared, the attention moves to the DJ and the dance floor set up off to the side.

“Ladies and gentleman, it’s time for the couple’s first dance.”

Magnus leads a nervous Alec to the floor. Magnus smiles at him fondly, and murmurs, “Breathe darling.”

Alec nods, smiling, and relaxes in Magnus’ arms.

As the music starts, Alec lets Magnus guide him along.

Alec would never get tired of the man before him. Would love him more and more each day, even though it felt impossible to love Magnus more than he did at this very moment. Spend every day showing Magnus how much he was loved, wanted, desired. To have a life with him, sharing all the ups and downs. To create memories to fill their minds, enough to spill over to photo albums and books, to reminisce over glasses of wine. He wanted all of Magnus, every little piece. He would give everything of himself in return.

Magnus twirls Alec around, surprising a laugh out of him and the crowd. At the end he dips Alec and presses a kiss to his lips to the cheers of the audience. He helps Alec back to his feet.

“I love you Mr. Lightwood-Bane.” Magnus whispers.

Alec murmurs back, eyes shining, “And I you Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made this a series. So while we have finished the main story, I'll add timestamps as I get inspiration. Already have one done, so will posting that one shortly.
> 
> It's been an amazing journey my loves. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I never thought this little idea would turn into what it has. Thank you for coming along for the ride and providing me the motivation to continue.
> 
> I have another fanfic in the works, so I hope to see you around!
> 
> xoxoxo


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